Need advice on making up a will, can/should we do it ourselves?

[traces7]

Recently near our hometown, there was a car accident, the parents were killed and the 13 year old son survived. It got me scared, and thinking that we really need to make up a will. Because it got me worried, wondering what would happend to our 7 year old DD if we died.
I know at one time I was told you couldn't do a will yourself, it wouldn't stand up in court, is this still true? Did you do your will yourself, if so, how? Or did you go through a lawyer, if so how much does that cost?
One reason we haven't done one yet is because we really don't have anyone that we trust to take care of our daughter if something happens to us. The only ones I feel good about are my husband's parents and they are in their 70's. None of our siblings are doing very well financially or otherwise, and they are just not an option. A lot of our friends kids are all grown up (we had our DD kind of late), so I don't feel they would want to take another on at this point. So this is a big dilemma, anyone else have this problem? Any advice?
Thanks!

 

[KaitlinsMom]

Not much information to give, but I saw in the paper that there is a new Will software available from Quicken for I think $35 - I am sure that you would have to get that notarized (sp?) - But I do know that Quicken is a reputable company - Just an FYI -

 

[My2Cinderellas]

I wouldn't do it yourself. YOur daughter is too precious to risk something not being done properly. We paid around $500 to have wills, power of attorney and medical power of attorney papers done. Our lawyer brought up some issues we hadn't thought of, and we were very pleased with the advice we received.

 

[clm3]

DH & I went on cruise for our anniversary this past summer. We had no will and were afraid to go with out having everything in order with the kids. We did ours with the Willmaker software and had it notarized. Its a legal document and covers everything you need. Luckily my sister is able to take our 3 IF anything should happen to us. Its something you hate to think about but very important for the sake of your DD. Good Luck !

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Good Post, we were just wondering the same things.

 

[Nik's Mom]

This subject has been weighing on our minds. I think we'll look into that software.

 

[newholidayx2]

In Aug 2005 DH had his left kidney removed due to surgery. We finally went to the lawyers and had our will drawn up.

 

[tar heel]

Considering that your will is to include a guardian for your daugher and presumably a trust to take care of her, you need to go to a lawyer. You're concerned now, and you probably still will be if you make a do-it-yourself will.

That being said, we should probably have our will looked at to see if it needs updating since it's been a while since we made it and the lawyer has died. He was part of the most prominent practice in our town, though, so it's not like the will has disappeared.

 

[Darcy03231]

I work for an attorney and would encourage everyone to get legal advice from a professional in the state you live. Laws vary greatly from state to state and what might be legal in one state might not be legal in another. There is no way for any type of "canned" software to give you that type of advice. Depending on what you have done it should cost somewhere in the vicinity of $500-$1000. Obviously a will with complex trust provisions will cost more than a simple will. Some things you need to consider are Who will take your children? What age do you want your children to get the estate? In some states if you don't specify its 18 and others its 21. How is your life insurance left? If you just leave it to your kids they'll get it at 18 or 21, again depending on the laws of your state. Can you imagine an 18 y.o. kid with a large amount of money? Do you think they have the financial capabilities to manage a large amount of money at that age? For example our estate is set up with a trust. Life insurance has been divided so that some is left to the estate and some to my sister directly as she will be taking my kids. The trust is set up so that she can pay for college, medical, clothes, and other necessities. After all the kids are out of college whatever is left is divided equally between the kids with them getting 1/3 at age 30, 1/3 at age 35 and the remaining 1/3 at age 40.

 

[ducklite]

It shouldn't cost much more than $150 for each of you. You say you don't have anyone to take care of your daughter because of age (understandable) or finances (shouldn't be a problem as your estate can be passed to your daughter and administered by a trustee who will give money to those she is living with for her care.)

You really, really need to find someone and ask them to be her caregivers, otherwise she could end up with the people you least want her to be with.

I would NOT use a form from software or the Internet or wherever, see an attorney. If the will isn't exactly to your states specifications, it can be contested or have to go through probate. Spend the $300 to get it right.

Also see if your employers have a legal plan. DH and I had basic wills drawn up for free through the company legal plan.

Our son is 20, but has some disabilities and at this point is not ready to live independently (and may never be). We haven't designated who he will go live with, because the best place might change from year to year. But both my brother and sister and their families have already agreed that he could go there. What we did do was make it difficult for him to try to live on his own. ALL of our assets will go into trust for him. My one brother who is Director of Accounting for a university is the executor. My BIL who has no problem saying "NO" and my son won't nudge to death is the trustee. BIL is not going to give him enough to live independently until he is ready, or to buy a Corvette, etc.

Anne

 

[czycropper]

Please!!! go to an attorney to draw up your will - you wouldn't believe the many phone calls I get from the public about wanting an attorney who can help them because they didn't have an attorney do their wills. Oh, I should mention I'm the Executive Director of our local bar association and we run a lawyer referral line.

It doesn't take long and the cost is minimal compared to the cost in the future for you children if you don't have one. Also, consider doing a living will. I get lots of those calls as well which typically start with "my parents are dying BUT they don't have living will & the doctors are saying that we can't do anything with the HEPA laws because we don't have a medical power of attorney" I got two of those calls this week one from the children of a family whose parents were in a very bad car accident (no will, no poa) - the other from the wife whose husband has been very sick but never did a living will or medical power of attorney and now he's in life support.

Call your local bar association for a referral. If they are like us, attorneys have to have a minimum amount of time in their specialty field, have to apply to be on the referral list, have all their insurance up to date and we do an ethics check.

Good luck!

 

[hvivona]

I used to work at a law office that specialized in wills, trusts, and estate planning. One thing I learned is that doing it yourself is one of the worst things you can do. There are so many laws about taxes and things like that. Your survivors would be much better taken care of if a professional does it for you. If you don't do it correctly, you could end up having the state take half of what you intended to leave to your kids.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

See an attorney. If you own property you'll want to place in trust to avoid probate and save as much money for your DD as possible. Consider getting enough insurance to pay off all debt, pay for her last few years as a minor, and pay for her college education. As time goes by and she reaches those milestones while you and your wife are still living, you can adjust your life insurance amounts.

I understand people don't care to pay attorneys, but if you don't pay one now you'll be paying many later.

FWIW

 

[ceiligh1]

When our son was born we went to a lawyer to write up our wills. One thing we didnt realize is that the person who takes care of your child does not have to be the person in charge of the money. So we set up a trust for the money from the house ect. to go into and assigned a person to be in charge of it and then another person to be in charge of our son. While we love my parents and they would adore my son they are not the most responsible people with money so this is what we decided to do. If I were you I would at least talk to a lawyer to see what your options are. I know that you can do wills online but we found that they sometimes are able to explain things and bring up things that the online programs dont.

 

[NancyIL]

We first had our wills done when I was pregnant with my first child and we were buying our first house - both in 1984. I worked at a law firm then - and it was a free perk. In 1995 we did a codicil - changed the guardian for our kids from husband's parents to his sister and brother-in-law.

 

[cruisnfamily]

Had our first wills done 14 years ago(by a lawyer) for $75 each...$150 total. Had them redone 10 years ago, by a lawyer, and also added power of attorney and some kind of medical power for just a few hundred dollars total. I'm sorry I don't remember the amount but it was like $300 or $400, not much to have everything done right!

 

[LynnTH]

We just did our wills but we are in the minority. We did use a software kit. It was by Suze Orman. You plug in all your details and you get a Will with all the information and paperwork according to the state you live in. We were able to do our Will, Power of Attorney and Living Will with this kit and we can go in a change it at any time. For our state we had to have it notorized along with 2 witnesses to make it legal. We don't have anything complex with our will - we have who the 1st and 2nd Choice Guardians would be as well as where our money would go (split evenly between both of our kids) and my brother would be in charge of the money.

 

[hvivona]

We just did our wills but we are in the minority. We did use a software kit. It was by Suze Orman. You plug in all your details and you get a Will with all the information and paperwork according to the state you live in. We were able to do our Will, Power of Attorney and Living Will with this kit and we can go in a change it at any time. For our state we had to have it notorized along with 2 witnesses to make it legal. We don't have anything complex with our will - we have who the 1st and 2nd Choice Guardians would be as well as where our money would go (split evenly between both of our kids) and my brother would be in charge of the money.

Please make sure that you also file it with the court. That will ensure that there is a copy on file so you don't have to worry about things getting changed. Also, make sure you initial the bottom of each page, so that no one can make changes and slip a different page in.

 

[LynnTH]

Please make sure that you also file it with the court. That will ensure that there is a copy on file so you don't have to worry about things getting changed. Also, make sure you initial the bottom of each page, so that no one can make changes and slip a different page in.

Good to know. Thanks. How do you go about filing it with the court?

 

[tedhowe]

I'll chime in that I think you should go to an attorney.

We will software and ran through it, but were never comfortable with the results.

Last year, we had an overseas trip planned (our first trip with just the 2 of us since our daughters were born) and that made us finally get an attorney to help with the will/estate plan.

In our interview, he asked so many questions that we hadn't thought of (and that the will software hadn't asked us).

It was well worth the money (about $700 total, I think - which included medical powers of attorney for our girls and ourselves, living wills and advanced medical directives for each of us, and last will and testament for each of us with detailed information on how we wanted trusts to be established and administered for the girls until the reached a certain age).

We feel so much better about the planning at this point. All of it is hopefully going to be a giant waste of money - and we will be alive well beyond the age when they need custodial guardianship, but like term life insurance, you pay the money HOPING it is never used.

Ted