Need advice for teen opposed to Disney trip!

[KimK2006]

If they want to go somewhere together, it should be somewhere they all agree on. Not everyone has the desire to go to Disney. If girl #3 is spending her hard-earned money, she should have a say in where they go. If they all three can't agree on a location, then, the two girls should go to Disney.

 

[mirak]

Tell her Pretty Little Liars will be filming in the parks that week.

Nice. Or you could go the scare route: "Two Words: Natalee Holloway."

Or maybe promise an Anna & Elsa FP?

 

[kbelle8995]

Don't get involved. Let the three girls hash it out.

They need to decide what is important going to Disney or going somewhere all three together.

If it's going together than perhaps they need to choose another location. I don't think talking a person into vacationing some place they don't want to go is a good idea. They will be grumpy for most of the trip and make it no fun for anyone.

 

[Seeker615]

Yes. There are three people. Two want to go. One does not. Why should the two who want to go miss out because one doesn't? I don't look at it as ditching her. She ditched them. Apparently the 12 year friendship isn't important to her, otherwise she'd go. Why is is the responsibility of the other two to give up their trip to accommodate the one who doesn't want to go? I would go without her. I would not let her manipulate the trip we'd dreamed about for years. If she doesn't want to go, then fine. She can stay home.

Now I don't think that is fair. All three have earned the money and if they are all very close friends then they should all work together and find something they woudl all enjoy. Maybe the third doesn't like waiting in long lines and crowds or even amusement parks for that matter.

We don't know the girls and we don't know what they like and dislike but to say majority rules is not fair when all three are putting in money to go on a very nice vacation.

That said why don't they look into a cruise maybe? Or Universal or maybe a nice resort somewhere? There is a big world out there with many destinations!

 

[wickersham]

Wow! Thanks for all of the wonderful, speedy advice! I know the decision isn't mine but my DD is so disappointed I thought some of you may have great suggestions and you do. We'll see what those 17 and 18 year old minds ultimately decide is the best plan.
Thank you!

 

[Julylady]

I agree with others that you need to let your daughter sort this out. However, my advice to your daughter would be to try to understand WHY her friend doesn't want to go to WDW. Does she want to party? Does she not like crowds? Does she think its for little kids? Does she have a fear of flying? Does she think Disney is too commercialized? Does she have here heart set on the beach? Can she not afford this type of trip?

Once your daughter has a better understanding of why she doesn't want to go, she and her other friend can decide what to do next. That might be choosing to go without her, choosing a different vacation location, or augmenting the Disney experience with items that she would like. For example, if she doesn't like rides they could schedule a spa day or so.

 

[greentea]

Yes. There are three people. Two want to go. One does not. Why should the two who want to go miss out because one doesn't? I don't look at it as ditching her. She ditched them. Apparently the 12 year friendship isn't important to her, otherwise she'd go. Why is is the responsibility of the other two to give up their trip to accommodate the one who doesn't want to go? I would go without her. I would not let her manipulate the trip we'd dreamed about for years. If she doesn't want to go, then fine. She can stay home.

Really? Their friendship isn't important to her because she doesn't want to go to Disney? Asking a high schooler to spend several hundred dollars to go on a trip she's not interested in is a lot. She's probably heading to college in a few months and I'm sure has plenty of expenses related to that. I don't see anything in the original post that implies the 2 girls have "dreamed about this trip for years." Just that they've both been and enjoyed it a lot and so that's what they thought would be fun for a graduation trip.

If they want to go as a trio, I think it would be thoughtful to sit down as a trio and throw around some alternative ideas. (A previous poster's comment about having an odd number at a theme park is a good point, too -- will the one who didn't want to go end up feeling like a 3rd wheel the whole way? What if she doesn't want to go because she's not really into rides, does she get to sit out and wait?) Anyway, let the girls talk it out. They can tell her why they think she'd have fun at Disney, she can tell them her reservations about the trip, and they can talk about any other places they might have fun visiting. What about a place that's new to all 3 of them?

I hope they come up with a plan that makes all 3 happy and that they have a great trip, wherever they end up!

 

[TwoMisfits]

Since this should almost be a poll at this point - If the kids are paying and they are a trio, let them work it out and all decide where they want to go. Having you try to convince the 3rd is a recipe for disaster. I would think Disney would be a bad idea for the 3 at this point and new plans should be thought of...there are so many beaches, amusement parks, and cool places for teens that something must appeal to the 3...

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I'd let them work it out - I bet they'll find a place that all 3 want to go to.

 

[midge3426]

When we went my daughter's senior year, we took two of her friends. They had a HUGE time. Just point out the rides that teens would like: rock'n roller coaster, expedition Everest, etc, etc. Tell them about the great water parks and that they are on their own. We took our car, but the kids took the bus. They really had an amazing time.

 

[bjmort]

Pffft just ditch the third one.

Here's what I've learnt you very rarely have friends that stick after high school, let alone a friend that doesn't have similar interests to you.

If she doesn't want to go, don't let it spoil what the other two want to do. If they change just for her they will just resent her. Better to have one person resenting two people than two people resenting one. #wisdom

 

[kelmcg]

Friend #3, who has never been, may be picturing little kids running around everywhere. She may feel like she, as a recent graduate, is too grown up for that. The other two girls may just need to point out some of the things they will be doing. Maybe set up a meal or two at some of the nicer restaurants.

 

[Dimaline312000]

I realize this is rude and I apologize but I'd leave the girl home and go to WDW.
I know there are many different people in the world all have some different feelings and desires but I really can't understand someone not wanting to go to Disney. My family and I just went in late November/early December for 8 days and all of us hated leaving and can't wait to go back and we're 18, 32, 54, 60 years old. God Bless Disney!!

 

[Bete]

You can get her a free Disney World vacation DVD. This may help her understand the different aspects of DW. U-tube videos can help, here, too. Even a book or two may help.

You can also make a list of a few vacation options and debate them and see if it leads you back to Disney World.

I think you need to consider safety, here, too. I think Disney World is a manageable trip for them. I wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable as a parent letting my child go just anywhere.

If the two still want to go and the third one will not, then maybe, they can take a smaller cheaper trip closer to home together and the other two can still go to DW.

 

[Marthasor]

My daughter and two of her friends since kindergarten days would like to take a trip together for their graduation in late May. My DD and one friend love WDW so we have planned an affordable trip the girls can help pay for from their weekend job money. The third friend has never been to WDW and has no interest in the trip. Being huge fans, we cannot understand her feelings. Any advice for trying to change her mind without being to in her face? It sounds like a dream grad trip to me!!

I know this sounds like a "dream grad trip to" you, but, not to be rude, this isn't your trip. If this has been their collective dream since kindergarten, I think they need to talk amongst themselves and try to come up with some alternatives. Not everyone likes WDW. Not everyone wants to go to WDW. And not everyone's minds are changed once they've gone (just ask my DH!) It sounds like your daughter and the other friend have already been there, so maybe they could broaden their horizons a little and go someplace all three can agree on. WDW will be there and they can, individually, go back another time. As other PP's have pointed out, I can't imagine going under duress on a trip that I also had to use hard-earned weekend job money to pay for. It doesn't really seem fair to friend #3. I really think this should be more about the 3 friends celebrating graduation after being in school together for 13 years than about WDW. When I was a senior in high school I had zero interest in WDW (my grad trip with my BFF was to Paris). My stepsons who just started college and have been to WDW wouldn't be caught dead there now. I think the 3 friends need to work this out, on their own.

 

[Allison]

Yes. There are three people. Two want to go. One does not. Why should the two who want to go miss out because one doesn't? I don't look at it as ditching her. She ditched them. Apparently the 12 year friendship isn't important to her, otherwise she'd go. Why is is the responsibility of the other two to give up their trip to accommodate the one who doesn't want to go? I would go without her. I would not let her manipulate the trip we'd dreamed about for years. If she doesn't want to go, then fine. She can stay home.

You are reading a lot of information into the post that isn't there.

 

[HappyDaisy]

You are reading a lot of information into the post that isn't there.

Yes, I know. This was a response to another poster to their post and clarifying my point of view.

 

[nugov2]

Yes. There are three people. Two want to go. One does not. Why should the two who want to go miss out because one doesn't? I don't look at it as ditching her. She ditched them. Apparently the 12 year friendship isn't important to her, otherwise she'd go. Why is is the responsibility of the other two to give up their trip to accommodate the one who doesn't want to go? I would go without her. I would not let her manipulate the trip we'd dreamed about for years. If she doesn't want to go, then fine. She can stay home.

This seems harsh! Why is the girl a manipulator just b/c she doesn't want to go to Disney? Who said the trip was always a Disney trip? They said they dreamed of a trip together since K. I would think that when spending a lot of money they wouldn't expect the girl to go somewhere she didn't want to. Is Disney really the end all be all for these girls? There is no place that the three girls would want to go together? I would say see if they can find something else, maybe even a Disney cruise would be a better option. I don't think the girl is trying to manipulate anyone. If I get together with a few friends for dinner and suggest x restaurant and one says sure and the other says no thanks, I don't like that place we then try to come up with something we all like. I don't just drop someone who I have been close with for years b/c they couldn't agree with us. Everyone has a right to have input when it is there time/money and I think it is kind of selfish to just ditch this girl unless she is being difficult and won't agree to anything or is demanding one place or refusing to go. To me the trip is about being with friends and there are more places to go and have fun besides just Disney.

OP, I would leave the girls alone to work it out. I would ask my dd if there was a way to compromise and find another destination that would work for all of them though and if she would rather they all went somewhere together or if only two of them went to Disney.

 

[Allison]

Yes, I know. This was a response to another poster to their post and clarifying my point of view.

You said things like a trip they had been dreaming of for years. It may be true but the op never said that. You don't know that she is being manipulative or that she doesn't value the friendship.

 

[Allison]

This seems harsh! Why is the girl a manipulator just b/c she doesn't want to go to Disney? Who said the trip was always a Disney trip? They said they dreamed of a trip together since K. I would think that when spending a lot of money they wouldn't expect the girl to go somewhere she didn't want to. Is Disney really the end all be all for these girls? There is no place that the three girls would want to go together? I would say see if they can find something else, maybe even a Disney cruise would be a better option. I don't think the girl is trying to manipulate anyone. If I get together with a few friends for dinner and suggest x restaurant and one says sure and the other says no thanks, I don't like that place we then try to come up with something we all like. I don't just drop someone who I have been close with for years b/c they couldn't agree with us. Everyone has a right to have input when it is there time/money and I think it is kind of selfish to just ditch this girl unless she is being difficult and won't agree to anything or is demanding one place or refusing to go. To me the trip is about being with friends and there are more places to go and have fun besides just Disney.

OP, I would leave the girls alone to work it out. I would ask my dd if there was a way to compromise and find another destination that would work for all of them though and if she would rather they all went somewhere together or if only two of them went to Disney.

It wasn't even said they dreamed of a trip since K. Just that they were friends since then.

I agree with you. I don't understand the mindset I see on the DIS from some that if a person doesn't want to go to Disney there is automatically something flawed about them.