Need advice - DD getting picked on for wearing Disney shirts!

[TxJasmine]

Hi! I know that many of you have kids, so I'm hoping that some of you have already gone through this, and have some advice for me!

My DD is 10 and in 5th grade. It's a new school for her, because here the elementary schools are K - 4. Half of the kids from her elementary go to this school, plus all the kids from 2 other elementary schools. So obviously, there are a lot of kids she didn't know from previous years. My DD is a young 10, very small for her age, very bright, wears glasses, and is not into "girlie" things. Her good friends are all boys. I knew that girls would pick on her because she's different - I just didn't think it would start so soon into the school year!

She always wears shorts, T-shirts, and tennis shoes to school, and she has LOTS of Disney shirts that we have bought over the years from the outlets. We are all huge Disney fans (obviously This morning DD told me that kids have made fun of her Disney shirts because they say that Disney is for babies. Because of this she has been wearing other types of shirts. Kids have also said other mean things to her - this is just the latest. DD knows better than most people that Disney is for everyone, but she's falling for peer pressure.

Sorry this got so long - but does anyone have any ideas how to help DD deal with these kids? I've tried to help her build her self-confidence, but it's hard. This is a really difficult age and kids can be very cruel!

 

[MsLeFever]

no advise but my son (second grade) has been hearing the same crap (can I say that here?) about HIS Disney shirts. He is Stitch for Halloween and I hope he doesn't get hassled about that. I tell him that obviously those kids haven't been to WDW and just don't get it.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I used to get picked on in school (around your dd's age) because I was a shy overachiever who went through a really long awkward stage. Kids are cruel and will make fun of anyone who's different from them. If I were her, I wouldn't wear my Disney shirts either. Why add fuel to the fire? Sure it seems like she's giving in to peer pressure, but kids that age don't listen to reason (I'm talking about the bullies, not your dd). JMHO.

 

[Chicago526]

Comming from someone that was bullied for YEARS (1st grade thru 8th) I can tell you that if they want to pick on her, they'll find something no matter what she does.

I wish I could tell you what she should do to get it to stop, but I haven't a clue. I never got it to stop myself, my classmates just either grew out of it or found bigger fish to fry. If it gets serious (more than a bit of teasing) then go to the teacher and work your way up the food chain if you don't get any help. If it starts to get worse, it will be easier to address now then later, and better for your DD.

Good luck!

 

[Sparx]

Do her friends pick on her too? Is it everyone or a group of people? I was picked on from K-6th grade. Then I found my group of friends. Kids are mean. They will tear down whatever you seem to like. Since she likes Disney, they will tear that down. Its going to happen until she stops letting it. That may sound harsh, but its true. If you stand up for yourself, or laugh along. they will eventually give up. I really didn't have too many friends until 7th grade, then everything started to get alittle better. and now I like school again. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better.

 

[Pam]

Hmmmm...... I guess my daughter who is a sophomore in college doesn't know that Disney t-shirts is for babies! Neither do her 3 roommates! They have tons of the Disney Princess t-shirts, blankets, they even use the Princess notebooks and pens and pencils in class.

She also wears Pooh and Tinkerbell items!

Tell her to tell those obnoxious brats that she has a way cool college friend that adores Disney stuff!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I think 5th through about 7th or 8th grade are the worst for the "everybody must be exactly the same" clothing. For my 6th grade boy right now, it is Nike and other "sports" type shirts and jerseys, gel pens, and black watches. In fact he told me today that in 4th grade he was a Geek, but now he is a "Normie" which I think means normal.

Around High School age they all seem to develop more confidence their own individual styles, and everybody is much more accepting about it.

I think I would let her set the lead on choosing her own clothes, as long as they meet standards of acceptibility and modesty - and then accept that she is probably going to choose what everybody else is wearing. If you suspect she still really wants to display a Disney attachment, you could always let her stick a couple of Disney pins on her backpack, or buy her some Disney Pens and Pencils.... small little things.

 

[TLHB70]

My DD just turned 10 and has been dealing with the same issue over her Disney shirts. She had a slumber party and wore her princess nightgown and was picked on again. I have bought so much Disney princess stuff and she has always worn it. This has only started over the last couple of months. I had to go out and buy new pajamas and panties because the only kind she had before that were bought from the Disney Store!

 

[always quiet]

While some characters are "uncool" to some kids (the Princesses or Buzz/Stitch), normally Mickey, Tigger, Pooh, Tink or Grumpy, seem to be welcome. My girls, in 6th and 9th grade, wouldn't be caught dead in Princess clothing anymore, they both have many other disney shirts or hoodies that are always being worn. My oldest DD's new favorite hoodie is a black and white Cruella de Vill one!

 

[RadioNate]

I've learned that Disney becomes very UNcool from the later elementry school years through the begining of HS. After that it becomes cool again.

In Jr High kids just want to be the same as everyone else. I'd let her lead. Don't try to influence clothing choices too much with your style. Like Toby's Friend said, as long as they meet standards of acceptibility and modesty let her choose what she wants.

As far as being picked on, kids will find anything they can. But if not wearing Disney to school makes her feel better and more confident than I think it's a little thing to start changing.

 

[DVC Jen]

I'm sorry. I don't have any advice for you..just wanted to let ya know I sympathize. Kids can be so incredibly mean to each other. Especially girls that age.

BTW.. my two DDs ages 17 and 12 still wear Disney shirts and they don 't care if anyone says anythign to them. My youngest actually told one girl.."what am I supposed to do..dress like you? I think not!"

That was a proud Mom moment.

 

[lewdyan1]

My DS likes to wear Disney shirts also. He only wears them at home, at Disney or when he knows he won't see any friends. I buy Disney t-shirts extra large and they are great for him to sleep in. He would be teased horribly if he wore them to school, thank goodness for school uniforms.

 

[#1hockeymom]

I have a seventh grader ds and he wears his Disney shirts. It seems it is an in thing to wear "where you have been" as a shirt. My almost 20 year old wears what she wants, when she wants! I can totally sympathize with where you are coming from. Kids can be down right nasty when they want to be. Give your DD a hug from us!

 

[Disney Ella]

I'm so sorry to hear that those kids are picking on your DD. Maybe you should move so that your DD can go to my kids' school. They'll be 10 next week and they said that plenty of kids wear disney shirts and like WDW. They said if someone wore a Disney shirt every day, kids might ask they why they only wore those shirts, but if the person said it was because they like Disney, my kids didn't think anyone would tease them.

As everyone else has said though, if she is getting teased, it might be best to save the Disney shirts for the weekend.

 

[tar heel]

My youngest son is 11 and we retired his Disney shirts as school clothes BEFORE anyone picked on him. He would have never come up with the idea on his on, but he's my third child and I've learned a few things. He still wears them other places, though.

Pam -- You don't have to wait until college to wear Disney -- you can start wearing it again in high school! There's just this awkward middle time when it increases the odds of your being bullied.

I would think middle school girls could wear Tinkerbell, though, since it's featured so prominently in Hot Topic.

 

[kasar]

This is so heartbreaking, isn't it? Those middle school years are brutal and sometimes the best course of action is to just put your head down and get through them - in other words, go to Aeropostale or Hollister (or whatever's popular around you) and get some t-shirts. It's not a sellout, she'll come back to her own style in high school but at this age, not standing out is a matter of survival.

My dds love disney shirts but they wear them at home, usually to sleep in. It's okay, we'll all get through this!

 

[tjmw2727]

Yes we are right there with you, my dd is 10 and in the 5th but its the last year of elementary here and it is still the same story. Although she wouldn't wear princesses she does love the disney stuff and got some flack for her stitch shirt.

I told her to decide if it was worth it or to put the shirt away for a while and wear it on the weekends. She is also new to the school as wel moved from MA to DE so she has been working extra hard to make friends. She hasn't worn the shirt to school again but I don't think she cares to much. About two years ago she did come home asking for a "Plain backpack" so that is I guess how things progress.

Funny thing she said was "ok - so Elmo is cool because they sell him at L2 but I can't wear stitch?" I think she gets it. For now we are going with what she likes and thinks is comfortable and its pretty much been plain colored short sleve shirts (gap or hanna), jeans or capris.

Good luck,
TJ

 

[MinnieM3]

I think latter elementary school is when Disney can begin to be "out" and considered "babyish"....if not earlier

It gets cool again in high school and beyond.

I'd stick to her expressing her Dis-self to non-school events, PJ's, room decor, etc., but not to class. Nobody deserves to be picked on, but at that age, I doubt it's going to stop.

 

[TxJasmine]

Thank you all for your kind words! Growing up can be very difficult. I expected 5th grade to be bad, I just hoped it wouldn't start yet. There were some snobby kids in 4th grade too, but they generally just ignored her. I am glad that she will talk with me about this. I just hope she keeps it up.

 

[Cindy B]

My son stopped wearing his Disney shirts in 2nd grade to school. My daughter (now in 3rd grade) still wears them occasionally, but some girls have told her that Princesses and Barbies are for babies.

I know this year was the last year for a Princess birthday cake with her friends!