Need Advice...Children and Tulle Canopy

[Dr.Cinderella]

Hi everybody!
I am starting to put our budget together and I am trying not to be too unreasonable. There are two things I have been trying to figure out if I want to do and would like some advice.

First- children, to invite them or not? We dont have too many young children in our family since I am the first to get married in my family and Chris's sister was the first in his. So right now the only children invited are our flowergirl- who is our niece and god child and will be two and my three cousins who are 15, 15, and 13 (family and not really kids anymore and the older two are bridesmaids). We said on our Save the Dates that our reception would not be including children but I am wondering if I should change this because there would only be 6 more of them? One couple we invited who are friends of our family has 5 children ages 5, 7, 9, 11, and 14 and another friend of mine has a 2 year old. The two issues are cost and space. Even with the children's menus each of the children (except the 2 year old) would be $100 with the soda package, cocktail hour food, and cake so this would be an extra $500 which is a lot to invite our friend's children from one family but I do this we would probably recoup some of this in a larger gift from them. The other thing is we are already at our capacity for the Whitehall Room so we would have to have a seperate children's table outside on the patio for them. They have not complained about the kids not being invited to the wedding at all, and we have invited them to the dessert party and brunch but I am not sure what to do about the wedding? Any advice?

The other thing I am trying to decide about is the tulle canopy...I have always wanted one of these at my wedding. I saw one in a hotel wedding years ago and just loved it! My planner informed me that the cost is $2,605 and I dont know if this even including tax which is just crazy for fabric! I found an outside vendor that would do it for $800 but my planner has told me that Disney does not allow outside vendors to hang anything from the celieng. Totally bummed! Even if we could afford it, it just seems like a waste of money to spend that much on tulle! What are your opinions on this? I just thought it would look so perfect in the Whitehall Room with the circular shape of the room.

Thanks very much for your help and advice!!

 

[pixie921]

The children thing is a tough one ... Will their parents be traveling at all, or are all the families with children local? (I'm assuming they're local since you're considering a kid-free reception.) If you're going to have any children, I would usually say to include the others, especially such a small number; however, the fact that you'd seat them at a separate table outside isn't really an appealing thought to me as a mom. The little ones would have to sit with their parents, obviously, so I'm not even sure how you'd do that.

Is there any way to rework your seating chart? If not, then my advice would be to not include the "extra" children if it will make your group exceed the room. Otherwise, if they'll fit and the finances aren't too much of a hardship (and I wouldn't count on "recouping" my costs in the form of a larger gift just because the children are there, but that's just me), I'd invite them.

I have no helpful advice on the tulle canopy ... it's an awful lot of money for something to hang from the ceiling!

 

[Dr.Cinderella]

Yes we are all traveling from New York. The couple with the 2 year is planning on leaving her at home. The big family is planning on having the 2 older children babysit in the room during the wedding. I would put the older kids at the table outside (not the 2 and 5 year) old. It just seems like so much money to pay for kids who arent our family. I know crazy about the tulle canopy price hun? I am not willing to pay that much but I just think it is so unfair of them to ask you to pay so much for it, and then not allow you to use anyone else!

 

[kharmagirl]

I'm trying to figure out the most cost effective way to take care of children as well. I have not sent out my STD's yet, so I'm not sure how many people are bringing their children for a vacation. I have many friends with young children. I've seen little ones at receptions. It can be a long day and they get tired and cranky and the parents end up having to take care of the kids and they don't get to enjoy the party. One of the options we are considering is a separate party for them with the Disney babysitters. I don't know how many children are coming yet so I haven't priced it out. Hopefully it's not too costly. If you are having an evening wedding then you can also suggest to the parents that they use the resort babysitting services. I'm interested to see what you decide to do.

 

[jtanddolly]

I recently went to a wedding where children were invited. They had a sitter and room for the children during the wedding, but they were at the reception and they made it so much fun. They were super cute out on the dance floor and none of them had melt downs. My little one was four and he asked another little girl if she would dance...it was so precious! Families with small children left the reception after an hour or two.

I would say if you have a lot of children in your extended family and/or your friends have small children, definitely include them unless you are planning on having a lot of drinking at the reception. If the families are traveling all the way to Florida for your wedding, it is kind of hard to tell them that they paid all that money but they need to find something to do with their children during your wedding.

I also believe that you can order a "child's plate" and it is less expensive than an adult price.

At the end of the day it is your wedding and you know what style it will be and if it will be a wedding that will fit small children.

 

[Jilian]

I think that because it is your wedding you get to decide whether or not you want to invite kids. Just be prepared that some people might not go if they cannot bring their kids. I have 3 kids of my own and if we were invited to a destination wedding where kids were not allowed we would have to decline the invite (even if childcare was provided). I think that if you are having some kids it would be polite to invite all. That keeps it fair and avoids hurt feelings. I also agree that when people bring their kids it doesn't necessarily mean you'll be getting a bigger gift, so you might not want to count on that. How do YOU feel about kids? Do you want them running around at your reception? I'm a kid person, our reception will be loaded with kids (probably 12 or so) but we will plans ways to entertain them and include them. Is the reception at night? If so, it is pretty easy to call it an adult reception and use the exucse that because it will be late, people will be drinking, etc.

 

[MissManners]

I for one am not having children at my reception. I understand that some families are traveling to Disney with their young kids, and they are more than welcome to bring them to the ceremony if they want. I am a nanny, and I adore children, but I know how toddlers act when they get tired, and wedding days are long. The time of day that you are having your wedding might factor into this. I don't count teenagers as "children" however. My youngest cousin is 12, and he will be there, as will my teenage brothers (obviously!). The Grand Floridian has the Mousketeer Club, and I'm pretty sure any younger kids who do come would rather be hanging out there then with the grownups! I think ultimately it depends on the overall theme of your wedding too..... lots of people have very family-oriented weddings with lots of children, while others are more geared towards an adult soiree. Neither way is right or wrong, it just depends on what you want the overall vibe to be!

As far as the tulle canopy, if your budget allows, I say go for it! It is stunning!

 

[belle2211]

For the kids thing, its completely up to you. I am havingt a night wedding and DF and I have several cousins that have infants/younger kids. We are inviting kids 4 and older. It might sound mean, but I just don't want any crying or tantrums to interrupt the festivities, but I love having little ones around so our family members 4 and older will be there.

As for the tulle canopy, I've always wanted it, so I'm going for it!. Now originally, I wanted the big flower ball that went in the middle, but that was $2500 too, so we took that out and are just going to have the tulle.

 

[singastory]

As for the tulle canopy, I've always wanted it, so I'm going for it!. Now originally, I wanted the big flower ball that went in the middle, but that was $2500 too, so we took that out and are just going to have the tulle.

Do you know where they can put the canopy? Is it only in certain rooms?

 

[jtanddolly]

Look around and see if you can find a tulle canopy that doesn't have to be hung. I found a lot of pretty tulle canopies that use wooden or metal structures and the tulle is placed over the structure so it is not hung. I think Disney would allow an outside vendor for that if you can find one.

Here is a picture...maybe something like this would work:

Good luck!