Need a tactful way to tell my siblings

[coinkc]

We just can't afford Christmas gifts this year. I have a huge family and most of us buy gifts for just the kids. However, I have also always purchased for my siblings that don't have children since they buy for my daughter.

Well within the past month, I have had unexpected car repairs of $1200 plus today had to pay a plumber $200 to fix my sewer line. Add to that the private high school tuition that I am paying this year for my daughter who is a freshman and well...the money just isn't there for gifts.

I've already scaled way back on what I usually get for my daughter. I'm still planning on getting all the kids gifts and have budgeted for that, but I just don't think I can include the adults this year. I want to tell them ahead of time so they don't think I am mad at them or anything. It's really nothing personal...just financial. By telling them in advance, it also gives them the option of not getting my daughter anything if they so choose.

So I need a tactful way of letting them know so they don't get their feelings hurt Christmas morning. Any ideas? Suggestions?

 

[monkeyboy]

Just be truthful. It may embarass some but family should understand

 

[ReneeA]

I would let them know, and ASAP. Many may already be done buying, especially if you normally exchange gifts.

 

[Christine]

Well, first of all, you might be a bit late. It is December 11--only 14 days left and they may have gotten you some gifts already.

But as far as being tactful: pick up the phone and just be honest about it. How can that NOT be tactful.

 

[disykat]

I'd start with an apology about being last minute. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with not wanting to exchange gifts, but I'm guessing at this point people already have their shopping done?

 

[disykat]

Oops. I notice we're all saying the same thing!

 

[coinkc]

Well, first of all, you might be a bit late. It is December 11--only 14 days left and they may have gotten you some gifts already.

But as far as being tactful: pick up the phone and just be honest about it. How can that NOT be tactful.

I should have clarified...they don't buy gifts for me, just my daughter. It's kind of an unwritten rule in our family that if you have kids who receive gifts, then you don't get anything. It's never bothered me.

Until the plumber issue today, I was on budget...but this was another unexpected expense I certainly wasn't planning on.

 

[Disneyland1084]

Oops. I notice we're all saying the same thing!

That's what happens with some threads I read. Too many people say the response I would have given, so I don't say anything at all.

 

[shortbun]

I'd tell them pretty soon unless you want to be the one with gifts in your lap from people you didn't buy for. Someone else pointed out it's late to be announcing this change but you'd better send the emails today. eta: I didn't read the thread until after I posted either but I think it's unanimous.

 

[GeorgeG]

Honesty is the only way to go.

 

[monkeyboy]

If someone said that to me (they couldn't buy), I would still get them something anyway.
Its about giving and the Christmas Miracle!

 

[arminnie]

I am single without kids. If you told me this there is NO way that I would not purchase your kids something. I might even get them more since you are going through a rough time.

Just be upfront and honest. If this is easier to do in an email then do it that way. Is it in your budget to make a few homemade cookies with the kids and give a little packet to the ones you would have bought a present for?

You said you are still purchasing for the kids - it's just the siblings w/o kids that you are cutting out. I'll bet they get more fun out of buying for the kids than from getting something from you.

 

[PixieDustandEeyore]

an unanimous Disthread... a Christmas Miracle...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You just be honest.

This yr my family is FINALLY not doing gifts. Now that is a Christmas miracle. We are all strapped and stressed beyond the limits of imagination.

Heck, I have not even decorated. No tree, just a doormat.

 

[Kathi OD]

My sister called just tonight to tell me that they couldn't afford to exchange Christmas gifts this year. I was fine with it. I've already purchased something for her and can't return it, so she'll get her gift. Doesn't bother me that I won't be getting anything.

 

[pooh4evr]

How many kids do you have to buy for, maybe suggest next yr the kids exchange names instead of buying for everyone-- I also have some sisters who are single and I get them stuff too but the married ones - nothing-- I agree wiht the PP be honest.

 

[luvmy3]

Just be honest and let them know ASAP. We just had someone in our family let us know they did not want to participate in the gift exchange (we pick names), which is fine except for the fact that we picked names and let everyone know who they had weeks ago.

 

[Deb & Bill]

One year when money was tight for us, I wrote down all my Christmas memories from when I was a child to adulthood. Of course, my family was featured prominantly in these stories. I gave each of them a copy (I think it was about 15 or so pages long). Plus I made some of their favorite foods - pralines, fudge, cookies, etc. - to go with the stories.

Everyone enjoyed this.

Your gift is supposed to be from your heart, not a price comparison to see if you spent as much as they did.