Need a Recommendation for a Financial Help/Debt Book for My Son

[MattMatts-Momma]

Hopefully, I am not reposting this. I don't know where my first post went.

I want to get my son a book about Financial Help, Debt and budgeting. I am not sure which is the best book out there for him.

A little background on him..he will be 24 this month. He has a decent job making about $20.00 an hour (plus about 6 hours of time and a half a week). But still can not get from one paycheck to the next. I know he spends foolishly, but I can't seem to get him to see it, despite my lecturing.

He has lots of medical bills that have gone to collections. The thing that annoys me about this is, he gives them my mailing address and phone number. He could have 10 bills in the mailbox when he comes to get his paycheck, and will only take the paycheck.

He lives with his girlfriend, who I don't belive works, because she is going to school. I think her parents give her money too.

Their rent can't be more than $600 dollars a month, plus utilities. He has a truck payment and car insurance. He also has the things that everyone else has food, gas, etc. Although, they probably eat most of their meals out.

I think he may be getting to the point where he is overwhelmed about his bills and finances, but I don't see him doing anything to change. It will not happen by itself. I think his credit score is in the 200's...

I stopped loaning him money, because he doesn't pay me back. I have bills myself and no one gives us money...His thinking is that we make more money than him. Well, yes that is true, but we pay our bills and don't have alot of debt (except for mortgage and car payment). I finally had to cut the cord and say no more!

I want to get him a book to help him get his life in order, but I am not sure what is the best book(s) to get him. Maybe if he reads what I have been telling him, it might motivate him to start changing his ways.

I would appreciate any suggestions you may have.

Lidia

 

[simba20]

Suze Orman had one out a few years ago called (looks over to bookshelf) "The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke." This came out in 2006 ( I think too lazy to walk over and pull it off the shelf). Perhaps an updated version is out there. It also had a code to a YFB members section of her webiste.

 

[nowellsl]

I gave my DD Suze Orman's Money book for the Young, Fabulous and Broke a few years ago. She just picked it up about a week ago and I'm hoping she is reading it!!! He really needs to work on that credit score Best wishes to you, I really sympathize!

 

[MattMatts-Momma]

I wish he would just try. I can't imagine living like that every week I am stressed out for him. I don't even know how he will fix the credit score..

 

[DISdreamin']

Good for you on putting your foot down and saying no more to the borrowing! I am sure it was tough.

Honestly, if I were in your shoes I would ask him to have his mail and phone calls go to his place of residence. From now on, send those letters from collection places back with a letter indicating the new address to which they should be forwarded. Why should it be your problem? Same thing for the phone calls - here's the new number, don't call me again.

As far as a book goes, IMO it will do no good unless your son wants to read it. It doesn't sound like he does. Suze's YF&B seems like a good one, and Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover might be good if he realizes there is an issue. However, like anything, if he doesn't want to change...you know how it goes. Good luck!

 

[nowellsl]

I know it's hard to help them when they won't even try There is a board called www.creditboards.com that may help him. I know it's hard, but it really will help him in the long run if you stop bailing him out, so I'm with you on that decision!

 

[DCLbrideSept2009]

Highly recommend one of Dave Ramsey's books! Or even see if there's a Financial Peace University anywhere near you and send him to that. DH and I just started a few weeks ago and it's been quite an eye opener.

 

[bebelle]

Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace or Total Money Makeover. He also has some DVDs. Check out his website*** daveramsey dot com

 

[MattMatts-Momma]

I know it's hard to help them when they won't even try There is a board called www.creditboards.com that may help him. I know it's hard, but it really will help him in the long run if you stop bailing him out, so I'm with you on that decision!

Yes, I think I have been to the creditboards already on his behalf a couple of years ago. I really had to stop bailing him out. He is very good at the "pity party".

Good for you on putting your foot down and saying no more to the borrowing! I am sure it was tough.

Honestly, if I were in your shoes I would ask him to have his mail and phone calls go to his place of residence. From now on, send those letters from collection places back with a letter indicating the new address to which they should be forwarded. Why should it be your problem? Same thing for the phone calls - here's the new number, don't call me again.

As far as a book goes, IMO it will do no good unless your son wants to read it. It doesn't sound like he does. Suze's YF&B seems like a good one, and Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover might be good if he realizes there is an issue. However, like anything, if he doesn't want to change...you know how it goes. Good luck!

I am hoping that he does read them. I feel that he wants to change, but maybe he just needs more directions, see it in black and white. I want to give him the books for his birthday.

I am checking out the Suze Orman book now on amazon.

 

[comicguy]

I would go with Total Money Makeover

From the bits I have read in the bookstore it seems like an easy read with plenty of examples and advice that is down to earth.

 

[labdogs42]

When I graduated from college, my Dad bought me a book called ( this is true) "How to Survive Without Your Parents' Money". It was great. I wonder if it is still in print? I got mine in 1995! I should read it again, I bet it still has some useful tips for me today!

I found it! It hasn't been updated since then, but it was a great book:
http://www.amazon.com/Princeton-Rev...=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266614374&sr=8-2

 

[ohlas]

Hopefully, I am not reposting this. I don't know where my first post went.

I want to get my son a book about Financial Help, Debt and budgeting. I am not sure which is the best book out there for him.

A little background on him..he will be 24 this month. He has a decent job making about $20.00 an hour (plus about 6 hours of time and a half a week). But still can not get from one paycheck to the next. I know he spends foolishly, but I can't seem to get him to see it, despite my lecturing.

He has lots of medical bills that have gone to collections. The thing that annoys me about this is, he gives them my mailing address and phone number. He could have 10 bills in the mailbox when he comes to get his paycheck, and will only take the paycheck.

He lives with his girlfriend, who I don't belive works, because she is going to school. I think her parents give her money too.

Their rent can't be more than $600 dollars a month, plus utilities. He has a truck payment and car insurance. He also has the things that everyone else has food, gas, etc. Although, they probably eat most of their meals out.

I think he may be getting to the point where he is overwhelmed about his bills and finances, but I don't see him doing anything to change. It will not happen by itself. I think his credit score is in the 200's...

I stopped loaning him money, because he doesn't pay me back. I have bills myself and no one gives us money...His thinking is that we make more money than him. Well, yes that is true, but we pay our bills and don't have alot of debt (except for mortgage and car payment). I finally had to cut the cord and say no more!

I want to get him a book to help him get his life in order, but I am not sure what is the best book(s) to get him. Maybe if he reads what I have been telling him, it might motivate him to start changing his ways.

I would appreciate any suggestions you may have.

Lidia

Lidia wow being a mom of a 20 year old i can feel your pain. Sometimes we just want to yell or nag them, but it will not work. I would go to local book store and get a couple of the how to budget your money, how to balance a check book etc etc. start with the basics, then i would get a plastic file box from walmarts, put them all in there and invite him over to dinner..

I wouldnt let him use your address anymore or your phone number, i would save his mail for him but change of address to all the companies and i would give out his phone number to the collection people and then tell them they arent allowed to call you...HE IS USING YOU TO HIDE.

You can get change of address forms from the post office and fill them out or just leave a nice note for mail person at mail box tell them this person doesnt live here anymore... RTS return to sender on all the mail... even the junk mail.

Im sorry he is being a little brat to you..

 

[nowellsl]

There are some tv shows you might could get him to watch - Suze Orman Show (CNBC Sat. 9:00) Till Debt Do Us Part (CNBC Sat. 10:00) Clark Howard Show (can't remember the chanel, but Sat. 12:00 PM) My daughter wouldn't watch until she got a boyfriend that won't marry anyone who has debt now she's getting interested

 

[PiperPizzaz]

Unless he is a reader I don't think he will actually read it. I would highly recommend financial peace university.

 

[PrincessPirateMom]

Another Dave Ramsey fan here! One thing that I like about his books and radio/tv shows is that he doesn't sugar coat anything. He speaks directly and honestly. Even if your son isn't ready to listen I would suggest listening/reading him for yourself to encourage and support you.

 

[mrsklamc]

If he can't be bothered to look at the bills he's not likely to read a book. If you're set on a book, go with books on CD (I know Dave Ramsey has these.) If he's around for any amount of time when he picks up the check, you could go a subtler route of having Dave Ramsey on the TV or radio.

A couple of things stuck me about your relationship with your son. One thing was that you said he won't listen 'despite' your lectures. You say that as though you think lectures would somehow help? Not likely.

You also said you don't 'believe' his girlfriend works. You don't know? Makes me wonder if your relationship right now is in any state that he's going to listen to you if you don't know such a basic fact about the person he's living with.

As an aside- I wonder what he thinks he's going to do when they simply start garnishing his check.

 

[holycow]

Mary Hunt

Cheapskatemonthly.com

Helped us get out and stay out of debt!

Her books are cheap too!

 

[Jitzy]

The Wealthy Barber It's a great book. Probably find it in a used book store, too.

 

[MattMatts-Momma]

Lidia wow being a mom of a 20 year old i can feel your pain. Sometimes we just want to yell or nag them, but it will not work. I would go to local book store and get a couple of the how to budget your money, how to balance a check book etc etc. start with the basics, then i would get a plastic file box from walmarts, put them all in there and invite him over to dinner..

I wouldnt let him use your address anymore or your phone number, i would save his mail for him but change of address to all the companies and i would give out his phone number to the collection people and then tell them they arent allowed to call you...HE IS USING YOU TO HIDE.

You can get change of address forms from the post office and fill them out or just leave a nice note for mail person at mail box tell them this person doesnt live here anymore... RTS return to sender on all the mail... even the junk mail.

Im sorry he is being a little brat to you..

Thank you. Great suggestions! Good Luck to you!

If he can't be bothered to look at the bills he's not likely to read a book. If you're set on a book, go with books on CD (I know Dave Ramsey has these.) If he's around for any amount of time when he picks up the check, you could go a subtler route of having Dave Ramsey on the TV or radio.

A couple of things stuck me about your relationship with your son. One thing was that you said he won't listen 'despite' your lectures. You say that as though you think lectures would somehow help? Not likely.

You also said you don't 'believe' his girlfriend works. You don't know? Makes me wonder if your relationship right now is in any state that he's going to listen to you if you don't know such a basic fact about the person he's living with.

As an aside- I wonder what he thinks he's going to do when they simply start garnishing his check.

I don't really know how to reply to this...

My lectures were an effort to guide him in the right direction. He knows he is not financially sound, and that he needs some sort of guidance. Since my talking to him, has not really helped, maybe him reading a book or two might help him.

As his mother I hate to see him go through this, so I offered advice...

Yes, I did say I don't "believe" the girlfriend works, she is going to school. What she considers work is babysitting, she doesn't actually "go" to a job. I don't really consider babysitting occasionally an actual job. Sorry.

My saying "I don't believe she works", is putting it graciously and might just be a southern way of speaking kindly of others.

I don't think that has any thing to do with the "state" of my relationship with him.

But thank you for your input.

 

[MattMatts-Momma]

Thank you for the great suggestions everyone.