Need a bit of encouragement please

[PUZZLDY5]

My husband has been out of work since September of last year. He was diclared permenantly disabled in February of this year. He immediately filed for SSD.
For those of you whose spouse became physicaly disabled, how did you live??? We were an almost $5000.00 a month income household and now we are living solely on my pay of $2000.00 a month. It is a drastic loss in income. I have cut back on everything I can possible cut back on. We live so far out that we have to have the very basic cable or not have tv at all, I am down to dial up internet which completely SUCKS. Basic phone and only 1 cell for long commutes to work and back so not haveing some sort of communication is not an option. My car is being reposessed next week. Thankfully I have a hunk of junk that I can drive. It's ugly but it starts every time I put the key in it. I am fighting like hell to keep up with the mortgage and utilities. We have went through every penny of our savings. I am at a loss here.
It sucks that you do everyting right and work your tail off to have the things you work so hard for in life and it takes just a little over a year to have it all disappear.
No flames please. I feel bad enough as it is. I just wanted to know what other people in my situation have done to survive until Social Security came through. From what I understand we have another year of this.

 

[Tracy Savage]

Iam so sorry for you. Hang in there it's got to get better. It has to. I feel like we all have hit bottom and there is no other way than up. It sucks.

 

[quentina]

Can you renegotiate your mortgage? My friend did it and saved over $1000 per month. You do have to be behind and in order to be successful, I think you need a lawyer. She paid around $1000 for the lawyer however, she is now locked in/fixed at less than 3% for the next 30 years.

 

[disney1990]

My husband has been out of work since September of last year. He was diclared permenantly disabled in February of this year. He immediately filed for SSD.
For those of you whose spouse became physicaly disabled, how did you live??? We were an almost $5000.00 a month income household and now we are living solely on my pay of $2000.00 a month. It is a drastic loss in income. I have cut back on everything I can possible cut back on. We live so far out that we have to have the very basic cable or not have tv at all, I am down to dial up internet which completely SUCKS. Basic phone and only 1 cell for long commutes to work and back so not haveing some sort of communication is not an option. My car is being reposessed next week. Thankfully I have a hunk of junk that I can drive. It's ugly but it starts every time I put the key in it. I am fighting like hell to keep up with the mortgage and utilities. We have went through every penny of our savings. I am at a loss here.
It sucks that you do everyting right and work your tail off to have the things you work so hard for in life and it takes just a little over a year to have it all disappear.
No flames please. I feel bad enough as it is. I just wanted to know what other people in my situation have done to survive until Social Security came through. From what I understand we have another year of this.

It sounds like you are going to have to give up more. Perhaps giving up the internet and cable television too. You can't continue to live underwater. How about household expenses? Gas, electric, water bills? What do you keep your heat set on? Since I lost my job, our heat is now set on 65 degrees. Yes, it's cold -- but otherwise, the bill will be too much. You need to cut back on groceries to a bare minimum. You say 1 year for Social Security Disability, but I have seen it take 2 even 3 years for it to come through and you won't be able to keep up. In addition, will Social Security Disability even pay you enough to be able to pay your bills? You need to bring in enough to be able to replace some of your savings for future emergencies. Hang in there.

 

[minkydog]

You have nothing by sympathy from me. We went through this about 4 years ago and it was HELL. Have you heard anything from SSDI? It took us about 1-1/2 years to get it through, and only with the help of an attorney. I understand that SSDI turns down most people the first time they apply, so if you get turned down IMMEDIATELY APPEAL. You have 60 days and if you don't appeal right away they close your case and you have to start all over.

Thankfully my DH did have a disability policy which paid out a little (about $1500/month) or we would have lost everything. I was working parttime and went to fulltime to make our ends meet. We ran through our emergency savings. We had a line of credit and we used that,plus credit cards, which we hated but you have to eat and pay medical bills. The good news is that when the SSDI did come through it was retroactive, so we got a good healthy check which helped us catch up some. But our monthly income has dropped by half. Like you, we have eliminated eating out, buying clothes, our land line, and Disney world. Our heat is set on 60 degrees. The kids are on free lunches, thank goodness. We shop at thrift stores when we needs something. My DD16 is on notice that there is no college money.

It really is shameful what Social Security puts you through. My DH has been working since he was 13.He worked his way through 2 college degrees. He's a dedicated professional and family man and his lung/heart disability has robbed him of his career, his hobbies, his stamina, and even the very breath he takes. It has been quite a blow to his manhood and he feels very ashamed (Of course, I reassure him but I think this is a core value for him and he's had a very hard time accepting his limitations.)

My hope is that you will be approved quickly. If you don't have an attorney you need to get one ASAP. They know how to work with the SSA and your doctors to get the disability documented properly.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I was declared disabled around 8 years ago. Luckily it was only 6 months from the date I declared until I got my checks. DH happened to be unemployed at the time. Let me tell you it was tough. Our income has been reduced quite a bit since the "good old days of paychecks". We have survived. In the beginning we had no cable, no internet, and no car note. Just an older car my parent were kind enough to give us. I learned how to coupon like an expert and my kids never did realize they did not have brand name clothes/toys. Ask your local grocery manager when they discount foods. I was never too proud to go to the food bank if we needed it, and I used NYS heating program (heap). It would pay a great portion of our winter heating bill. A family of 4 can make up to 45,000 this year and still qualify. I know when and where the good clothes will appear in the Goodwill store. But I must admit that our saving grace is that when we purchased our home, we bought well below our means. I have always been able to keep the roof over our heads. And the jeans I have on right now, are about 7 years old... Old/Good habits never die.

OP for you. It is a long and hard road and I wish you only the best.

 

[The Princess]

 

[Robinrs]

Hugs to you, honey. I know your pain. I lost my job in 2006 and went from $5000 a month to unemployment. And I'm a single mother!

I supplemented my income by selling on eBay and now on Craigslist. It started slow but now it's a major source of income. I studied marketing to find out what people want and worked from there.

Cutting down on expenses works wonders but selling things you no longer use or want can help also.

You'd be surprised how you can float on nearly nothing. I finally found a permanent job this year and alas, my kid just misses me being home cooking from scratch!

It will get better, stay strong.

 

[Art 1]

That's too bad, good luck and keep your chin up.

 

[Muushka]

I just wanted to give you a hug too.

Remember, this is a season and this too will pass.

 

[RNMOM]

 

[Tiggerlover91]

 

[PUZZLDY5]

I realy don't know what else there is to give up. Could you imagine living in a house with no tv, no internet at all and no way to communicate with the outside world. I love my family but I am sure we would get on each others nerves a lot more if there wasn't anything to direct our attention somewhere else. Seriously, my internet is like 15 dollars a month now. There is no starbucks, trips to the mall or movie theater and hasn't been in a looonngg time. My thermostat is in 65 degrees right now.

Thanks to all for the good thoughts and prayers. Sometimes it just helps to know your not alone in situations like these.

 

[aprilgail2]

Can you try to pick up a evening/night job to go to after your full time job-even a part time one would help! Even if it was just temporary until the money starts coming in again....

 

[luvsJack]

First-- There is nothing worse than the bottomless falling feeling of financial troubles. Especially when you have no control.

Neither of us have ever been on disablity, but my ex-husband was and they were in a similar situation as you. He kept in touch with his creditors, paid maybe the interest each month or whatever they could and kept them up with what was going on with disability, they continued to work with him and deferred payments and managed to keep him somewhat up to date. When it finally came through and he got the back payment, he was able to give each creditor a lump sum and get back on track. His credit was shot and it took most of the lump sum to pay up every thing, but he didn't lose anything either.

 

[BelleWDW]

:Have you heard anything from SSDI? It took us about 1-1/2 years to get it through, and only with the help of an attorney. I understand that SSDI turns down most people the first time they apply, so if you get turned down IMMEDIATELY APPEAL. You have 60 days and if you don't appeal right away they close your case and you have to start all over.

.

This was how it was for BIL.

The only way they survived? His wife's last living parent had died & she got an inheritance.

 

[minkydog]

I realy don't know what else there is to give up. Could you imagine living in a house with no tv, no internet at all and no way to communicate with the outside world. I love my family but I am sure we would get on each others nerves a lot more if there wasn't anything to direct our attention somewhere else. Seriously, my internet is like 15 dollars a month now. There is no starbucks, trips to the mall or movie theater and hasn't been in a looonngg time. My thermostat is in 65 degrees right now.

Thanks to all for the good thoughts and prayers. Sometimes it just helps to know your not alone in situations like these.

Which is exactly why we did NOT cancel the cable and internet. My DH can no longer do outdoor activities, hiking, gardening, sports and we can't afford to go to movies or dinners, so that pretty much leaves TV, videos, and books--we can't play boardgames or entertain at our house because we're also taking care of our disabled son, Christian. TV is something we can enjoy together. We've been watching Ken Burns' "National Parks" series together and wishing/hoping/dreaming that we might actually go there someday.

 

[C.Ann]

My husband has been out of work since September of last year. He was diclared permenantly disabled in February of this year. He immediately filed for SSD.
For those of you whose spouse became physicaly disabled, how did you live??? We were an almost $5000.00 a month income household and now we are living solely on my pay of $2000.00 a month. It is a drastic loss in income. I have cut back on everything I can possible cut back on. We live so far out that we have to have the very basic cable or not have tv at all, I am down to dial up internet which completely SUCKS. Basic phone and only 1 cell for long commutes to work and back so not haveing some sort of communication is not an option. My car is being reposessed next week. Thankfully I have a hunk of junk that I can drive. It's ugly but it starts every time I put the key in it. I am fighting like hell to keep up with the mortgage and utilities. We have went through every penny of our savings. I am at a loss here.
It sucks that you do everyting right and work your tail off to have the things you work so hard for in life and it takes just a little over a year to have it all disappear.
No flames please. I feel bad enough as it is. I just wanted to know what other people in my situation have done to survive until Social Security came through. From what I understand we have another year of this.

I realy don't know what else there is to give up. Could you imagine living in a house with no tv, no internet at all and no way to communicate with the outside world. I love my family but I am sure we would get on each others nerves a lot more if there wasn't anything to direct our attention somewhere else. Seriously, my internet is like 15 dollars a month now. There is no starbucks, trips to the mall or movie theater and hasn't been in a looonngg time. My thermostat is in 65 degrees right now.

Thanks to all for the good thoughts and prayers. Sometimes it just helps to know your not alone in situations like these.

If you can find a good lawyer that specializes in this area, grab him as soon as your DH is denied ("if" he's denied the first time - that is not always the case 100% of the time).. You will not pay anything upfront - the lawyer will take a cut of the retroactive when it's approved.. Also keep in mind that along with your DH receiving disability, there will be individual monthly checks for each one of your children under the age of 16.. Your DH will receive a large retro check and a week or so later there will be large retro checks deposited for each of your kids as well..

I would not advise getting rid of the cable tv or internet.. That is just "asking" for both you and your DH to spiral down into a deep depression - which will cost you more money - for counseling and medications..

I watched my DD and her DH go through this - scary, scary stuff (DD made a substantial income until she became totally disabled after being rear-ended by someone gabbing on a cell phone).. The lawyer that is handling the lawsuit for the car accident found a lawyer for her that specializes in disability and once he was on the case, I think her checks started 3 or 4 months later..

I strongly suggest you get a good lawyer - ASAP.. Until then, just hang on the best you can.. When you hit the "bottom" like this, you have no where to go but "up"..