Okay, this is more reminiscing on the events that brought us to Nathan qualifying for a wish trip. Once again, feel free to skip this-as it will most likely be long and rambling.
Nathan had been out of the hospital for 2 days. He spent 6 days there from being 7 weeks premature. The only reason he had to stay there that long was to do a round of antibiotics since my water had been broken for a week before he was born. But he was doing great- all the tests came back normal, he was nursing, we were the last visit on the doctors rounds. It was good to be home.
Since Nathan was premature, I was worried about him getting enough nutrition, so I was pumping and giving him my breast milk from a bottle. I would nurse him first and then give him the bottle. I also was waking him up every 4 hours to feed him. It was Sunday night/Monday morning and he just was so sleepy. I couldn't get him to wake up to eat. I thought I would just try the bottle since it took less effort for him. I tried all the "tricks" to get him to wake up- undressed him, ,changed his diaper, gave him a bath, etc. He would wake up briefly, look up at me and roll his eyes back in his head and go back to sleep. I did all my speech pathologist things trying to get him to eat- I squirted a little bit in his cheek and stroked his neck until he swallowed. I stayed up all night doing this. I was scared- but you know everything seems worse in the middle of the night. I was sure once the sun came up, things would seem better. But they didn't. David was pretty calm but I was still nervous. Our pediatrician was out of town but the NICU had said I could call at any time. So I called. The nurse I talked to told me later that when I called she put me on hold and said, " I'm talking to baby Davis' mother. She's worried that he isn't eating. Who took care of him? Am I talking to a nervous new mother or do we think there is a problem?" Luckily one of the nurses remembered me and said I seemed like a calm, competent mother of 4- if I said there was a problem, there might be a problem. So they let me talk to the doctor. He took me seriously, but his only symptoms were that he was very sleepy and wouldn't eat. This is fairly common for a premie. They gave me some suggestions and told me to call if things didn't get better. This went on all day. David was at work and he had taken the older 3 to grandma's. I kept Nathan in our bathroom under the heat lamp when I wasn't trying to feed him- I kept checking his temp and it was normal. The doctor had told me to give it 24 hours and if he wasn't better, to bring him back to the NICU. I just had a feeling that would be too late. I sat on the bathroom floor and prayed, " Please God, let me know what I need to do for my baby." I instantly knew I needed to get him to the hospital. I also noticed something else, his circumcision was still bleeding. I knew form my older boys that this wasn't normal. I called the NICU...AGAIN. I talked to the doctor and told him about the circumcision. He said maybe he was a little anemic-did I want to bring him in? Yes, I did. It was about 2:00pm, my parents had just driven out from OKC to help me with the kids and I asked them if they would take me and Nathan back to the NICU. We still didn't know how serious it was. David didn't even go with us. He had already missed quite a bit of work and it was a difficult time for him to be gone. Bless David's heart, I'm not sure if he has forgiven himself yet for not going to the hospital with us.
It was a very long 90 mile drive to OKC. I sat in the back seat with my hand on my sleeping baby. I could feel his temperature dropping. Evidently, the heat lamp had been keeping his temp up at home. By the time we reached the NICU, his temp was 95, his arms and legs were gray. He was in heart failure but we didn't know why. I still was oblivious to how serious it was until they said, " Your husband needs to get here." The rest of the day was a blur. But still, before you have experienced anything like this, you think there is no way something "really bad" could happen to one of your children. We figured our "trial" was just being extended but eventually we would have a good ending. That night we prepared to go to my parent's house to sleep. The doctor made sure we weren't going to our home 90 miles away. He said we needed to stay close by. When we were walking out of Nathan's little isolation room, there was something about the look on the nurse's face. I said incredulously to the nurse, " Do you think he is going to die?" Her answer was not very reassuring- " We are going to do everything we can."
Fast forward to today. Nathan was baptised at church today. It is a glorious day.