Myspace friend advice needed

[Tazicket]

I have a friend on myspace that I'm kind of thinking about making her not a friend anymore. We used to be best friends when we were younger, but had a MAJOR blowup and did see or speak to each other for probably about 5 or 6 years. We've run into each other a couple of times at weddings and such, since we've become adults.

She found me on myspace and sent a friend request. I didn't really want to make her my friend (b/c we haven't had much to do with each other- life courses taking different directions and all that), but I did because it seemed really mean to deny her request. Now, she keeps posting all these bulletins with some inappropriate subject matter that are making me uncomfortable and I'm kind of thinking about deleting her as a friend. Is this too mean? Should I just deal with it? I never see her, anyway.

What do the gurus of the DISboards think?

 

[annegal]

I still can't figure out how you find anyone you know on there!

A bunch of us at work have a myspace started to complain about work. I's now evolved into sort of a keeping up with those that left and other stuff in our lives

I would get rid of her if her postings were embaressing you-your other friends may wonder why you are friendly with a nutcase. JMHO

 

[Tazicket]

That's a thought. I guess my other friends could click on her picture and see that, huh? Should I just delete her and see what happens or tell her first? The internet is such a strange animal.

 

[chell]

Simply delete here and move on. Last night someone left me a comment talking about nude pics and such - he got deleted first thing this morning. When I first signed up there I felt really bad about wanting to delete people or not wanting to accept their friend requests but now it doesn't bother me.

I have a "friend" I had to delete because of all the crap she does. So sad...

 

[RadioNate]

just delete her - if she says anything play dumb. With all the Myspace glitches and technical errors it is a wonder things work correctly. If she even notices and sends you a new request just ignore it.

I ignore and deny people all the time.

 

[annegal]

.

I ignore and deny people all the time.

 

[PaulDavid's mom]

Just delete her. No explanation needed. I agree with an above post. If she keeps requesting you, just deny. If it gets to the point where she won't stop requesting you, you can put her on ignore. She'll never know. Even when you deny someone, they don't know it. For all they know, you just haven't gotten aroud to checking your 'friend requests'. I have no problem deleting 'friends'. I use myspace to keep in contact with old friends from my childhood. Once I added a friends girlfriend because I felt bad denying her. Finally I got over it and deleted her. THEN I ran into her at a wedding She questioned why she wasn't my 'friend' anymore. I took the easy way out and said that darn myspace. They have so many problems to fix. hehe

 

[foolishmortal]

ok maybe it's just me but how old are you??? Deleting an old friend because of a post?

Also if it's a bulliten or a message either 1, you can view who it is and the topic title before even opening. If it's from her with a title that just sounds like it will go a wrong way, don't open it, it's that easy.

Sorry if this sounds harsh.

 

[Tazicket]

My age is not relevent to the situation. We were friends probably about 9 years ago and I have not really seen or talked to her for the last 5 or 6. It's not like we're best friends for life or anything. I don't open the bulletins. I'm just tired of seeing the topics. I never talk to her anyway. I'll probably just delete her. Thanks for the input.

 

[foolishmortal]

My age is not relevent to the situation. We were friends probably about 9 years ago and I have not really seen or talked to her for the last 5 or 6. It's not like we're best friends for life or anything. I don't open the bulletins. I'm just tired of seeing the topics. I never talk to her anyway. I'll probably just delete her. Thanks for the input.

well I guess I ask because I am 30 and I have a couple of people on my friends list that I haven't actually seen since junior high, but because they moved before high school and life happened and we haven't "seen" eachother doesn't mean we aren't friends..I get alot of bulliten posts a day but I see who they are from and the title and decide from there if I want to open it. But it is always nice to have them on friends list just to say hi every once in awhile.

I don't know to me it seems rather highschoolish to delete a friend because of bulliten titles that you don't even have to open if you so chose not to.

 

[Tazicket]

Thanks for your input.

 

[foolishmortal]

Thanks for your input.

Hey I like to play devils advocate, sorry!

 

[Tazicket]

Hey I like to play devils advocate, sorry!

No biggie I know (from past experiences) that when I ask for opinions, not everyone is going to agree with me or have a high opinion of me. I know that going in and try to roll with it. I really do want input, and it's interesting (and helpful) to read varying opinions. So when I say, "thanks for the input," I actually mean it.

 

[ducklite]

Why the drama? You don't want to be friends, don't be. If she asks why, tell her you are at different places in your lives and maybe down the road you'll have more in common again.

Truthful and to the point without being hurtful, and still leaves the door open for a possible future friendship.

Anne

 

[Tazicket]

Why the drama? You don't want to be friends, don't be. If she asks why, tell her you are at different places in your lives and maybe down the road you'll have more in common again.

Truthful and to the point without being hurtful, and still leaves the door open for a possible future friendship.

Anne

How true. There probably won't be drama. I just hate to hurt anybody's feelings. She probably won't even care.

 

[annegal]

Why the drama? You don't want to be friends, don't be.

Anne

Actually having someone listed as a "friend" on myspace, just gives that person the ability to post on your site & send you e-mails....it has nothing to do with being your real friend.

Edited to add a big "but"....all of your myspace friends can go to any of your other friends pages& see what is posted there....so if this friend is posting qusetionable stuff...

One of my myspace "friends", I haven't seen in quite a while, and probably never will see-but we like to keep up with things happening in our similar careers.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

well I guess I ask because I am 30 and I have a couple of people on my friends list that I haven't actually seen since junior high, but because they moved before high school and life happened and we haven't "seen" eachother doesn't mean we aren't friends..I get alot of bulliten posts a day but I see who they are from and the title and decide from there if I want to open it. But it is always nice to have them on friends list just to say hi every once in awhile.

I don't know to me it seems rather highschoolish to delete a friend because of bulliten titles that you don't even have to open if you so chose not to.

You totally read my mind. Great post!

 

[Tazicket]

Edited to add a big "but"....all of your myspace friends can go to any of your other friends pages& see what is posted there....so if this friend is posting questionable stuff...

This is my issue with it. With my little sister and some of her friends who have added me on as their friends, so now they have access to my other friends' pages, there's just too much stuff that they don't need to be exposed to on her page and stuff.

I think I figured out what I'm going to do. Thanks for all the input and advice, everybody.

 

[foolishmortal]

This is my issue with it. With my little sister and some of her friends who have added me on as their friends, so now they have access to my other friends' pages, there's just too much stuff that they don't need to be exposed to on her page and stuff.

I think I figured out what I'm going to do. Thanks for all the input and advice, everybody.

ok now I am really confused?? they have access to it even if they weren't on your friends list. And when you login you cannot view the bullitens of anyone that is not on your own friends list. Like for example I log in I only see bullitens from my friends list, but since my wife is on my list I cannot click on her and then few her bulliten list...it's not possible.

And if your little sister or her friends do what my cousins and people do they search thousands of profiles daily just to find wierd people or things. My cousins e-mail me all the time with funny or strange profiles they find, I could imagine some of the ones they "find" but don't tell me.

 

[ducklite]

Actually having someone listed as a "friend" on myspace, just gives that person the ability to post on your site & send you e-mails....it has nothing to do with being your real friend.

Trust me--I've got almost 600 "friends" on myspace, and I'd count about 20 of them as "true" friends, and know a couple hundred in real life.

I get a ton of friend requests, and look at all of them. I deny most bands, guys who only have scantily clad chicks in their top ten list, and people who seem to be freaks in general.

Anne