My trip is being hijaked by DH's family...

[seashoreCM]

Or how about planning the immediate family vacation immediately before the wedding, in January?

 

[annaaidan99]

We've got a similar thing going on, too. In 2006, we had a nice family vacation with just DS and DH- but for free dining, DH invited DMIL and DFIL, which I was fine with, but also DSIL and two nieces. The planning was very difficult, as no one had any input PRIOR to the trip- I was trying to make a happy medium trip where there was something for everyone. Once there, suddenly there was a great deal of drama about what should have been done, and DSIL and DMIL were at odds the entire trip. My DH felt bad for me, as I had invested a lot of time making the plan, ADRS, etc. So for free dining 2007, he asked if it would be ok to just have DMIL and DFIL, as they never get to see us. That was great- I booked the trip, made the plan, and made all the ADRS. Fast forward to now, DSIL is booking an overlapping trip, bringing four kids, and DBIL will be there as well with his wife and daughter. Everyone is looking at me for planning help- suddenly a trip for five changed to thirteen, and I'm not really excited about it. DH told me I was selfish- our nice plan that was in place should change since not everyone will want to do what we are doing. Frustrating. It was definitely easier planning for just ourselves.

 

[DisneyMomJen]

I would definitely plan to go in September doing the Free Dining. It is a deal that is very hard to pass up. This will be your family vacation, which everyone needs. It seems like we are in the same situation EVERY year. Last year just topped everything. We had my cousin, his wife and their 2 kids, which was fun and my kids had a great time. We also had DH's sister who is divorced with her 2 kids. She has been divorced for about 6 years and since then our family vacations have become her family vacations. Well, she has been having a hard time with DS14 who only wanted to be with us. They were with us EVERY minute. I could not even shower without everyone being in our room. It was so bad, I was going to leave Disney a few days early. Can you imagine wanting to leave Disney early?
It has gotten to the point where we do not tell anyone when we are going. We went this past April and did not tell anyone until a week before. We really enjoyed our time together as a family. It is time that we really need together since my DH works alot and we do not spend that much time with him.
So, our yearly August vacation is coming up. Free Dining was announced and my cousins decided to join us. Now my parents are coming also. DH's sister is not going this year since her DS18 is going to college. I am sure we will have fun, but in a way I feel trapped.
My advice is to go in September and let that be an economical trip. As someone else suggested, get an AP or at least get a 7 day PH and make it nonexpiring. Enjoy your family and your time together! Life is too short and your kids grow up too fast.

 

[Whosemom]

As far as the hostile takeover goes, you don't have to allow that. (copied from another post) It's time (for MIL) to honor thy son and daugher('s desires and agenda), not (for you) to honor thy mother and father.

It IS a take over, but doesn't appear to be hostile. The folks seem to have been invited by DH. I like pp idea to make yours longer than theirs. We went down with our dance group last year and that's what we did. It was great. Time for us, time for group fun.


prude alert (I know, but I can't help myself): you really can't twist commandments to suite your own wishes. yikes.

 

[disneyworldmama]

UHH sometimes MILs can just mess things up. Last November my parents, sister and her family, brother, and my family went to WDW. Well the last two days of our trip DHs mom and stepdad came. We thought great they will get to spend time with the girls, what great memories. Well, they didn't spend hardly anytime with the girls they did their own thing and we just sat around while the y rode the rides. Then they got mad at us for not spendign time with them. I understand they wanted to experience WDW but they live in Florida, we live in Texas we only get to see them a few times a year. UHHH hopefully if they decide to join us in December things will go better.

Good luck to you. I feel your pain

 

[ohiominnie]

Where are you traveling from? If the airfare/travel time isn't a huge portion of the budget, then I would take 2 shorter trips - this coming Sept and Jan.

I haven't read all the responses, but I want to add something to this plan...
I would INSTEAD plan the "family" vacation AFTER the wedding/marathon/inlaw vacation.

That way, as you "suffer" through the extended family vacation, you can have a great getaway on the horizon.

If you do your vacation first, then you'll only have family-hell on the horizon!

It's good for the psyche.

 

[seashoreCM]

Take the intimate family vacation first so you don't have to worry about skimping on it.

And you will have gotten your fun out of your system so you don't have to worry about what you can and cannot do on the second, grand gathering, trip.

>>> Well, they didn't spend hardly anytime with the girls they did their own thing and we just sat around while the y rode the rides. Then they got mad at us for not spendign time with them.

Come right out and say so, that MIL and sFIL didn't go spend time with their (s)grandchildren.

 

[WDWFAN9]

OP, has your husband registered for Goofy? If not, Goofy 2008 is closed and the half is very nearly closed. I've done several extended family WDW vacations and they were a blast! Good luck and have fun!!

 

[RmrJmrGrl]

I KWYM about family taking over a vacation. Our trip in November grew much larger than anticipated with the addition of SIL and her DD. Luckily, my 90 year old MIL was talked out of going!!!

Good luck on planning your familly's own vacation!!!! I hope you can figure it all out.

 

[QueenGoblin]

Yup, DH is already registered for Goofy. I think it filled in Jan or Feb, who knew there were that many crazy people in the world?
Thanks for all the advice and empathy
DMIL was "invited" by DH. We had talked about inviting her and I told him I wasn't keen on the idea for a number of reasons that he agreed with. But then, during a phone conversation with her he just sort of invited her anyway (He didn't expect her to say yes mostly because she dosn't have a lot of extra money, and he had the whole she was a single mother while raising him and they never went to WDW when he was a kid and now she lives 7 hours away and never sees her grandkids, etc. etc. etc.) So he has been forgiven for inviting her Although I am still wondering how the five of us are going to fit in a single room at Pop...I guess it will be okay since my two DDs are still small enough that put together they still would only weigh 60 lbs.
DBIL and his DF have yet to decide 1. if they are coming along 2. if they do come along, will they go ahead and get married while there. I've made our ressies for my party of 5 and I guess I will just wait and see what happens. If DBIL does come along and get married, the up side is we can probably talk him into paying for a separate room for DMIL since he promised to help her pay to come to his wedding. The downside is DFIL and DstepMIL will probably come too and then we will have to spend the whole trip pretending DFIL and DMIL do not exist in the same universe, since they can't be counted on being civil to each other. ERGH! We had to do that during our college graduation...we had to have covert meeting places etc. so that we could hang with DFIL and then meet up with DMIL but they never had to look at each other. What a pain in the you know what.