My trip is being hijaked by DH's family...

[QueenGoblin]

So...last year we took DD to WDW in Sept during free dining and had an excellent time. Went to MNSSHP, DH got to eat at all the buffets so he was actually full for a change, good times were had by all.

We planned to return sometime this year. My preference was to go in September again because our kids are young enough that school is not yet an issue and it was just a really nice time to go.

Well, my DH gets wind of the Goofy challenge. Half-Marathon on Saturday, followed by Full-Marathon on Sunday. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. That is his version of fun So he asks about going in January. So, alright, if it makes DH that happy, we can try it this year and maybe go to MNSSHP again next year (and hopefully free dining will be offered in 08). Well, then MIL gets "invited" by DH. Ergh. I like MIL, but she will be coming alone, and staying with us so she is going to change the whole family dynamic and a value resort is going to start feeling pretty cramped. Plus, she has arthritis in one of her knees and tends to get tired quickly. THEN, DH mentions this all to DBIL and now DBIL and his DF are thinking of coming, which is fine because they will get their own place to stay and are happy doing their own thing...BUT...they are now flirting with the idea of getting married while we are down there!!! AND if they do, then my FIL and StepMIL will probably show up too. So my nice family vacation has been totally upended.
So...deep breath...I'm alright with this. BUT I must start planning a trip just for my immediate little band of DH and DDs to stay sane and reassert some control over my life So, should I just bite the bullet and plan a trip for Sept of 07 for just our nuclear family? Or should I be good, excercise some self control and plan a trip for later in 08 while concentrating on making the january trip as good as possible?

 

[Traveliz]

Well I personally would no longer look at January as a nuclear family vacation -- I would put it under the category of traveling for husband's hobby, family reunion, or if it occurs destination wedding....all of the above are mandatory and so that opens up time for a just your family vacation.

So yes I say plan another earlier one and this second one will just be go with the flow icing on the cake!

Liz

 

[Princess Stitch]

If you had your heart set on a particular trip with your family, I say take it in September if you can afford to. You never know what your situation will be next year, you may not have the opportunity to travel for one reason or another. Also, you may be disappointed in January if you don't get to have the trip you wanted.

September is also an awesome time to go if you've never been. No crowds, walk on to rides and free dining! Can't beat that...

 

[hebbynan]

I agree with all of the above. If you have your heart set on a nice FAMILY vacation, plan to go earlier or later. If your DBIL ends up getting married down there, let's face it, it will be all for them and doing what you wanted to do will have flown right out the window. If you can afford to, I say go earlier and enjoy your own imidiate family time. Then go later with everyone and enjoy it as an extended family trip. What ever you decide....good luck. That sure is one tough situation. I'll be thinking about ya'!

 

[QueenGoblin]

Thanks for your thoughts.
I feel like such a grouch, complaining about a disney vacation. I just know how much my DD is looking forward to going, and when we went just as a family before we were able to be very kid-centric and she had such a good time. I'm just worried that as we add more and more adults and adult activities (marathons, WEDDINGS) that DD is going to be dissapointed and I'm going to be disappointed because I envisioned spending a nice relaxing time with my DH and girls, not stressing over relatives. Plus, I really want to get some details locked down soon to be sure we have our choice of resorts etc. but I feel like I can't make any decisions until all these other people decide what they are going to be doing...ergh.

Going in Sept then again in January seems a little nutty though. Should I put it off til September 08? Or split it into two shorter trips (like 4 nights each?)

 

[Princess Stitch]

Going in Sept then again in January seems a little nutty though. Should I put it off til September 08? Or split it into two shorter trips (like 4 nights each?)

It's not nutty! Don't forget the company you're around here

My thought was that if you go in September with the kids you can kind of "get it out of your system" so to speak. That way when you go in January with the rest of the family you won't feel like you're missing out on not doing all the rides or things you want.

As for the shorter trips or waiting till Sept '08 I guess it depends on your financial situation... If it was me and I had the funds, I'd probably do Sept '07and then maybe Sept '08 as well!

 

[QueenGoblin]

If it was me and I had the funds, I'd probably do Sept '07and then maybe Sept '08 as well!

I like the way you think

Actually DH is feeling so guilty about messing up "my" vacation that he said I should plan as many other trips as I want. Of course, I am the financial conservative in the family, so it is myself I need to convince about the dollars and cents of the decision.

 

[Princess Roo]

Where are you traveling from? If the airfare/travel time isn't a huge portion of the budget, then I would take 2 shorter trips - this coming Sept and Jan. Otherwise (speaking from the budget-conscious part of my brain) I would try to make the best of the January trip at the current planned length and then go again with a promise for just the nuclear family Sept 08.

Either way, maybe for January you could get a reasonable list of the things that DD4 most wants to do (and add a few for yourself - DH will need to get back to the room and go to sleep early with the kids the night before those races while you get a little private time to do what you want! ) and it seems to me if it's written down in advance and reasonable that no one can argue with a 4 year old getting to do a few of her favorite things on a WDW vacation! Plus, if DD4 is told in advance that the trip will be a little different because of all the stuff going on, BUT that she gets to do these XX things still, then maybe that can ward off potential disappointment for her?

 

[CampbellScot]

Thanks for your thoughts.
I feel like such a grouch, complaining about a disney vacation. I just know how much my DD is looking forward to going, and when we went just as a family before we were able to be very kid-centric and she had such a good time. I'm just worried that as we add more and more adults and adult activities (marathons, WEDDINGS) that DD is going to be dissapointed and I'm going to be disappointed because I envisioned spending a nice relaxing time with my DH and girls, not stressing over relatives. Plus, I really want to get some details locked down soon to be sure we have our choice of resorts etc. but I feel like I can't make any decisions until all these other people decide what they are going to be doing...ergh.

Going in Sept then again in January seems a little nutty though. Should I put it off til September 08? Or split it into two shorter trips (like 4 nights each?)

I totally know what you mean. Once other people are added to the mix it changes things. My husband's best friend heard we were going to DW in August. Suddenly he wants to bring his three kids and go too. I've already got all of our ADR's planned for FOUR. I love this guy to death and I love his kids, but they are older than my step kids. It will totally change the dynamic of the trip...and frankly I do NOT want to share. I was planning on doing fun girly stuff with my step daughter but the 10 year old daughter of my DH's friend thinks everything Princess is "BABYISH" my step daughter (8) will not want to be labeled a baby even though I KNOW she is dying to do BBB. I"m still trying to figure this one out!

So you are not a grouch. You just had your trip planned and it got "unplanned" for you. That would make me nuts too!

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Kinda got the same thing going on here, just not as extreme. MIL and FIL and BIL are now thinking of going while we are there. Now, we've done DL with my whole family (Mom, Dad, two sisters, and Grams)- so I should be okay with it, but WDW is going to cost so much more and I have so much more INVESTED EMOTIONALLY rotfl in this trip- I don't want to get caught up in more scheduling then we already have (ADRs each day).

 

[Princess Stitch]

I like the way you think

Actually DH is feeling so guilty about messing up "my" vacation that he said I should plan as many other trips as I want. Of course, I am the financial conservative in the family, so it is myself I need to convince about the dollars and cents of the decision.

Well I say step one is to get on the phone and call Disney for some quotes! Staying at a value with free dining in Sept probably won't cost you much since your little DD is free and your older DD is still a child!

Then factor in a rough estimate of the January trip and see if it's feasable. You may be surprised at how inexpensive things can be if you cut out some of the extras (like a fancy resort or park hopping) and don't have to pay for food (in Sept). I guess you have about 30 days to think it over if you want to book free dining!

 

[Traveliz]

LOL I see nothing nutty about two trips in the time span you are talking about - you should hear my plans for this fall alone!

If you want to cut back I would treat one vacation as the longer one with your family and the second one be more in line with what you would do for a wedding destination or a marathon destination trip - of course if both those events happen its really going to be a longer trip as well.

Liz

 

[jtopp]

Plan your own vacation. While big family vacations CAN be fun, after trying for a few years, my children told me and DW that they prefer vacationing with just the immediate family. They get their vacation without the dramatics of other family members.

 

[3jsmommy]

I have alot of experience w/ the inlaws taking over the vacations!!
I think because my DMIL is single (not newly, divorced 20 yrs ago) my husband has this guuilt thing, feels bad & ends up inviting her She came w/ us to WDW 2 yrs ago.
Now I really do like her, but she has this energy that kind of takes over & it gets me crazy after a while. One vacation my DFIL, stepMIL,(D intentionally left out & DSIL & her family of 4 kids decided to meet us on vacation. Talk about a hostile take over!
Now I plan our vacations (1 per year as DH works alot) & I have my husband tell his family that it is our time alone w/ the kids. We live 2 mins. from all of them so I do not feel bad about this at all!!
If you are the financial planner in the house you could always suprise your husband & kids w/ a trip, or wait until it is too late for anyone to add on & then tell them. Any way I feel your pain!

 

[seashoreCM]

Do the family trip first (September). This way you and the kids can have a worry free trip.

As far as the wedding "interrupting" your vacation, why nbot just take the kids and have a good time at the parks. Let the relatives ckloser to the bride and groom sew the dresses, arrange the caterer and set up the reception hall. You just show up as a guest and leave when it is over.

As far as the hostile takeover goes, you don't have to allow that. (copied from another post) It's time (for MIL) to honor thy son and daugher('s desires and agenda), not (for you) to honor thy mother and father.

Disney hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[mom2rb]

Take the trip in Sept. When you get your tickets with the dinning plan, upgrade to an Annual Pass, it shouldn't cost too much more. When you go back in Jan. add on two days after your family leaves. Since we joined DVC we have enjoyed taking family members with us, but we have learned the hard way that the four of us need some alone time at Disney before we go home.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

It's official...

My trip is now like a Grand Celebration or whatever they're called. MIL, FIL and BIL will be there for about 4-5 days of our trip.

And the problem is? I feel like a heel because I DO like them. Well, FIL can be a bit much- but MIL and BIL, I adore- they are good people.

Just- the conflicts and timing and everything... This is our very FIRST BIG vacation (DisneyLand, SeaWorld, San Diego Zoo- those just don't count) and I want everything to go perfectly for us.

Grrrr. Grumble, whine, complain!

 

[crisi]

We invited my mother in law on a Disney vacation with us. It was agreed to, and I was fine with it, but as the time grew nearer I began to get aprehensive. We booked a four day cruise for six months later. Simply knowing I would have my nuclear family vacation eventually was enough to keep me happy.

As it turned out, we had a great time with my mother in law.

 

[Hodkys]

You could book your holiday dates in January to overlap with that of your extended family. Eg, they travel Sunday to Sunday and you go a few days later, say, Wed to Wed? If the DBIL is getting married in Disney, surely he and his bride, as honeymooners, would want some time on their own?

We are going to Florida this July for 16 days with members of the extended family. I have been getting a bit anxious about it, wondering how we would all get on. Convinced DH to book another trip next Feb for just the 4 of us. This has made me feel more relaxed about this July trip. If things start going pear shaped this July I can count to ten AND remind myelf of our Feb trip.

Also, we've given ourselves 16 days this July so that we aren't putting ourselves under too much pressure to see and do everything and organise everyone else!!

Good luck with whatever it is you decide to do.

 

[lillygator]

I would try and do your "own" family trip....personally I don't like large group vacations....too hard to please everyone.