My thoughts on Gay Marriage: From a young man from East Texas.

Beast913

Earning My Ears
Joined
Jun 13, 2008
Messages
54
I'm a Christian, and grew up a conservative politically and socially. I used to be asked if one of my family members, even my brother, who is 362 days older then me, were gay would I change my position, and I said of course not. I believed gay marriage should be totally illegal. Three years ago the State of Texas voted 72% in favor of banning gay marriage.

I'm a political science major with a history minor, so I'm about to tell you this story and my follow up from this position.

My junior year of high school my Uncle Gary died. This was the second brother on my mother's side to die. It hit me pretty hard, we had a common interest in music, both being drummers. During this time I was at my Uncle Gary's home in South Carolina, I told some gay jokes with my brother and my cousins. When I got home, I was told some news.

My Uncle Jimmy, the youngest of my mother's brothers and sister, was gay. I was surprised, and wasn't, I kind of had my suspicions. I didn't get much time to digest this point, my Uncle Jimmy was coming to visit for my brother's high school graduation in just a couple of weeks. This put in me in a position outside my comfort zone. My Uncle Jimmy was extremely important to me, we were close. I really didn't know how to handle the situation. When he came to visit I was the only one home at the time. He made a couple of jokes to break tension, like, "So do I look different now that I'm gay?!" and I laughed. We had a long conversation about it, and over the next few months, I realized that I was changing.

I met Uncle Jimmy's gay friends, his partner at the time, Larry, who I liked a lot, and got a look into the gay community that I had not before. The next year my Uncle Jimmy came to my high school graduation, and by that time, I had turned a 180 in my position.

My Spring semester of my freshman year of school, I gave a presentation on gay marriage in America. My Uncle Jimmy's favorite point that I made was in the beginning when I held up a movie poster from "Brokeback Mountain" and I said, "How many of you have seen or would like to see this movie?" Only a few people raised their hands, and all were women. I then said, "How many of you would like to see this movie?" and I held up a movie poster that said, "Brokeback Mountain 2" and it had Jessica Alba and Angelina Jolie on it, and almost of the room raised their hands, all guys of course. I continued to dissect the issue, including showing the Christian hypocrisy in it. I can't tell you how many people came up to me afterwards telling me how they hadn't thought about it that way.

Anyway, last October 9th, my Uncle Jimmy died suddenly in his sleep. He was 42 years old, a successful OBGYN, a graduate of the University of Michigan, and a retired member of the United States Air Force, reaching the rank of Major. He saved numerous people's lives. He lived right on South Beach in Miami. He had been all over the world. It was the most heart-wrenching moment of my life thus far. My Uncle Jimmy was the most supportive person of my future outside of my parents and brother and fiance.

I have realized two things. One, not to insult anyone, but drugs are a huge problem in the gay community. My Uncle Jimmy died taking uppers and downers at the same time at a party. He may not have done drugs that much, but it only took one bad mix. Please, all who do drugs, either stop entirely, or be extremely careful. My Uncle Jimmy had an extremely bright future, and he should still be here.

My second thing, I've realized that in this country, you simply don't have equal rights. But I know how you can get them. Like I said, I study this stuff. California has really led the way, the most gay populated state to allow gay marriage, at least temporarily. If you are married in California, and you move, according to the Full Faith and Credit Clause in the Constitution, your marriage has to be recognized in another state. Lets say you move to Texas and they don't want to, then SUE! The court would have no choice but to declare the DOMA unconstitutional.

Next thing, this is what I believe SHOULD be allowed in America. In every legal sense, gay marriage should be totally allowed by the Federal government. However, churches can not be forced to have gay ceremonies, it is their constitutional right under freedom of religion. Of course there are more than enough churches that would allow services already.

What the Christian right fails to realize is that gay couples love each other as much as straight couples. I've seen this with my own eyes. Recently I proposed to my girlfriend to get married. Some of you may be in states where this would end up being a empty motive, and I'm sorry. It's because of people like me this is what it's come to. But the only motive we have to fight gay marriage is the religious ideals of it, which is unconstitutional, and based in the motives of a theocracy.

Alexander Hamilton was once asked why God was never mentioned in the Constitution, and Alexander Hamilton smiled and replied, "We forgot." We are not a theocracy, we are a country where you have the right to the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

Finally, use the judicial branch. James Madison said that the judicial branch was created to protect from the TYRANNY OF A MAJORITY. The gay community will never outnumber the religious right, but the courts CAN bring you justice. Don't give up. Don't settle for half-rights that the civil rights movement didn't accept, and neither should you. However from this future lawyer, you have my one hundred percent support. In memory of my Uncle Jimmy, who served his country with honor, saved people's lives, and had great respect all over the world, but in this country was recognized as a second class citizen because of who he loved. That's not fair. It's not American. Don't give up the fight.
 
My second thing, I've realized that in this country, you simply don't have equal rights. But I know how you can get them. Like I said, I study this stuff. California has really led the way, the most gay populated state to allow gay marriage, at least temporarily. If you are married in California, and you move, according to the Full Faith and Credit Clause in the Constitution, your marriage has to be recognized in another state. Lets say you move to Texas and they don't want to, then SUE! The court would have no choice but to declare the DOMA unconstitutional.

Unfortunately, I think there is a Federal law specifically addressing this issue. Under the law, since the Federal government only recognizes marriage as being between one man and one woman. Therefore, under the law, Federally there is no such thing as same-sex mariage, and since it doesn't exist in the eyes of the US Government, there is nothing for the Full Faith and Credit Clause to recognize.

I am very happy that you were able to understand that your Uncle loved you, and that we are all human and should be loved individually just for being ourselves.
 
Unfortunately, I think there is a Federal law specifically addressing this issue. Under the law, since the Federal government only recognizes marriage as being between one man and one woman. Therefore, under the law, Federally there is no such thing as same-sex mariage, and since it doesn't exist in the eyes of the US Government, there nothing for the Full Faith and Credit Clause to recognize.

This is exactly what I mean, DOMA (or the Defense of Marriage Act) is totally 100% unconstitutional. I believe if it's legal in one state, it has to be legal in all others. Like I said, the judicial branch is protection from a tyranny of a majority.
 

This is exactly what I mean, DOMA (or the Defense of Marriage Act) is totally 100% unconstitutional. I believe if it's legal in one state, it has to be legal in all others. Like I said, the judicial branch is protection from a tyranny of a majority.

While it hasn't reached the Supreme Court, lower federal courts have ruled the DOMA constitutional. :sad1:
 
While it hasn't reached the Supreme Court, lower federal courts have ruled the DOMA constitutional. :sad1:

As a lawyer, I find those rulings to be quite a stretch. No one cries "judicial activism" when judges rule with a "conservative" slant. ;)
 
As a lawyer, I find those rulings to be quite a stretch. No one cries "judicial activism" when judges rule with a "conservative" slant. ;)

No Kidding. "judicial activism" appears to be just another code term that the religious right seems to like to use in their brainwashing efforts. I've heard it several times recently from people who clearly had no idea what it meant other than "it's BAD :scared1:" It's been a struggle to stay on point (and above all -- stay kind) but I have SO wanted to point out Ledbetter v. Goodyear Tire and Rubber as an example of judicial activism.
 
I think Joe Biden misrepresented Barack Obama's position on gay marriage. Obama has repeatedly said policy wise pretty much what I said. In fact pretty much exactly what I said. I believe that's fair, I believe that constitutional. And in adoption, I've always heard the same argument, "a child needs a male and female parent." To which I then reply, "So, single parent homes are wrong? What about kids who only live with their moms or their dads?" I have a very good friend who's extremely successful, his father died when he was 8, and he was raised by his mother, and he is perfectly normal. Gay parent households have just as much love as a straight household. There is no evidence to suggest otherwise.
 
I like Wanda Syke's comment about gay marriage:

"If you don't believe in same-sex marriage.........then don't marry someone of the same sex!"

:lmao:
 
I like Wanda Syke's comment about gay marriage:

"If you don't believe in same-sex marriage.........then don't marry someone of the same sex!"

:lmao:

Dolly Parton has a great one too..

Of course I think gay people should get married! Why shouldn't they suffer like the rest of us?
 
I think Joe Biden misrepresented Barack Obama's position on gay marriage. Obama has repeatedly said policy wise pretty much what I said. In fact pretty much exactly what I said. I believe that's fair, I believe that constitutional. And in adoption, I've always heard the same argument, "a child needs a male and female parent." To which I then reply, "So, single parent homes are wrong? What about kids who only live with their moms or their dads?" I have a very good friend who's extremely successful, his father died when he was 8, and he was raised by his mother, and he is perfectly normal. Gay parent households have just as much love as a straight household. There is no evidence to suggest otherwise.

not to mention gay parents don't get "surprised" by the prospect of having a kid. It takes a lot of planning, thought, and time to adopt or even have a surrogate.

Then there is my family where "crap I'm pregnant, let's get married" and "hey we're married, crap I'm pregnant" runs rampant. This coming from the fundamentalist "I won't get divorced from my abusive husband because it's against the Bible" nutjob relatives.

really...I'm not bitter
 
Hahaha I liked how you did that thing with the posters.

I disagree with you on the part where you said people fail to realize how gay couples can be in love people do understand but that doesnt make it right. I mean I have gay friends and I completly support them in their decision because i love them but when they ask me what I think about it form a Catholic's point of view I say well yea I think that if your going to be sexual with a member of the same sex it's a sin but you know what God gave you free will to do with it what you please. I think gay marriage should and shouldnt be legal because like yes, people choose how they live their lives and if your going to be that way you should get everything out of it but then no because of the temptation of finding a partner and everything there are people who are gay and choose not to live the lifestyle because of their faith.

So there's my little input :)
 
Hahaha I liked how you did that thing with the posters.

I disagree with you on the part where you said people fail to realize how gay couples can be in love people do understand but that doesnt make it right. I mean I have gay friends and I completly support them in their decision because i love them but when they ask me what I think about it form a Catholic's point of view I say well yea I think that if your going to be sexual with a member of the same sex it's a sin but you know what God gave you free will to do with it what you please. I think gay marriage should and shouldnt be legal because like yes, people choose how they live their lives and if your going to be that way you should get everything out of it but then no because of the temptation of finding a partner and everything there are people who are gay and choose not to live the lifestyle because of their faith.

So there's my little input :)

Then your friends are better than I, because I will not associate myself with people who do not support my rights. I should not have to chose to live a sex free life because of someone else's religion. I am simply living my life and following my feelings to love someone and want to spend the rest of my life with that person. It just so happens it's another guy.
 
Hahaha I liked how you did that thing with the posters.

I disagree with you on the part where you said people fail to realize how gay couples can be in love people do understand but that doesnt make it right. I mean I have gay friends and I completly support them in their decision because i love them but when they ask me what I think about it form a Catholic's point of view I say well yea I think that if your going to be sexual with a member of the same sex it's a sin but you know what God gave you free will to do with it what you please. I think gay marriage should and shouldnt be legal because like yes, people choose how they live their lives and if your going to be that way you should get everything out of it but then no because of the temptation of finding a partner and everything there are people who are gay and choose not to live the lifestyle because of their faith.

So there's my little input :)

This statement really bothers me.

People choose how they live their lives and if your going to be that way you should get everything out of it

Choose to be "that way"? No one chooses to be anything but themselves.

There are people who are gay and choose not to live the lifestyle because of their faith

I heard this statement many times when I was attending a southern "Christian" school and it's really astounding that people can actually believe that. "Yes, i'm gay but I don't act out on it." You seriously believe that is how it works? You are sadly disillusioned
 
isn't it ironic how religions complain about the sexist way our society views women? they're so much against viewing women as sex objects, yet when it comes to gay people, they focus only on sex and refuse to see the love that exists.

Isn't it ironic..it's like seeing the man of your dreams and meeting his beautiful husband
Love Alanis Morisette
 
...It was the most heart-wrenching moment of my life thus far. My Uncle Jimmy was the most supportive person of my future outside of my parents and brother and fiance.

Chris, I'm so sorry for your loss. :sad1: It's obvious that you loved your uncle very much and if it's obvious to some stranger on a chatboard, I'm sure it was obvious to him. I'm also sure he would be very proud of your post. :hug:
 
Chris, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's obvious that you loved your uncle very much and if it's obvious to some stranger on a chatboard, I'm sure it was obvious to him. I'm also sure he would be very proud of your post.

Thank's a lot Cindy, I apperciate that.

To the poster above who spoke on behalf of Catholicism. Catholic churches have every right not to allow gay marriages. I couldn't even get married in a Catholic church because, well, I'm not Catholic. However, the idea that your religion should be legislated into a legal block of other people's happiness is just not fair. A gay man or woman deserves as much happiness as I enjoy. If they want to be married they should be as miserable as the rest of us ;-) and if they want to adopt a child, then they should be examined through the application process just as much as any other couple. There are many children out there who deserve a loving home. There are legal avenues set up here to achieve this victory, I'm just waiting on it to happen. Remember the state courts can rule against gay couples all the way to the bank, but eventually you can take it to Federal Supreme Court, and there I believe the people of the gay community can win. (Of course if I'm misplaced here, someone please correct me.)
 
Thank's a lot Cindy, I apperciate that.

To the poster above who spoke on behalf of Catholicism. Catholic churches have every right not to allow gay marriages. I couldn't even get married in a Catholic church because, well, I'm not Catholic. However, the idea that your religion should be legislated into a legal block of other people's happiness is just not fair. A gay man or woman deserves as much happiness as I enjoy. If they want to be married they should be as miserable as the rest of us ;-) and if they want to adopt a child, then they should be examined through the application process just as much as any other couple. There are many children out there who deserve a loving home. There are legal avenues set up here to achieve this victory, I'm just waiting on it to happen. Remember the state courts can rule against gay couples all the way to the bank, but eventually you can take it to Federal Supreme Court, and there I believe the people of the gay community can win. (Of course if I'm misplaced here, someone please correct me.)

bingo
 





New Posts










Save Up to 30% on Rooms at Walt Disney World!

Save up to 30% on rooms at select Disney Resorts Collection hotels when you stay 5 consecutive nights or longer in late summer and early fall. Plus, enjoy other savings for shorter stays.This offer is valid for stays most nights from August 1 to October 11, 2025.
CLICK HERE













DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest

Back
Top