My son got called to the Principal's Office..

[lisaross]

perhaps i'm over reacting..

My son came home today - he is 11 years old in the 6th grade. He is a very good, well mannered child!

Anyway, he came home all upset that he was called into the asst. principals office. Last week when he got his test back he got an 86 and he asked the girl next to him what she got and she had a better grade. He was looking at his test and said pretty much to himself ohh ***** (he was not happy with his grade - he's in honors) anyway appearantly another girl at a different table told her mother what he said - not sure if it was that he cursed or cursed by the girl next to him - perhaps thinking he cursed at her. Anyway, this girls mother called the girls mother who sits next to him and i guess she called the school to complain. The Asst. principal wanted to hear what happened and my son said what he did and the principal said ok don't worry your not in trouble but i have to call your house. They never called me. I am going to call tomorrow! If they call my son into the office they should notifiy me don't u think? Would u be upset about this? my son was so upset and i know he would Never curse at another student - the asst. principal also mentioned that he spoke to my son's teachers and they pretty much backed him up that he is not that type

Would u be annoyed if u didn't get a call?

 

[luvmy3]

Let me get this straight, an 11 year old girl went home and told her mother that your ds cursed and that mom called the school to complain. I think that mom over-reacted, I assume we are talking about 6th graders. If she doesn't want her dd around cursing she needs to pull her out of school and homeschool, and while she's at it never ever let her out doors.

OP, if my 11 year old ds came home upset about it, I'd tell him he better keep his cursing to himself next time (or better yet not curse at all). I would not call the school over this, he cursed, he was in the wrong, if the teacher had heard him he would have been reprimanded for it. Since he isn't in any real trouble I don't see the big deal of them not calling you. He is old enough to tell you what happened.

I just can't believe a mom called over that.

 

[scrapquitler]

perhaps i'm over reacting..

My son came home today - he is 11 years old in the 6th grade. He is a very good, well mannered child!

Anyway, he came home all upset that he was called into the asst. principals office. Last week when he got his test back he got an 86 and he asked the girl next to him what she got and she had a better grade. He was looking at his test and said pretty much to himself ohh ***** (he was not happy with his grade - he's in honors) anyway appearantly another girl at a different table told her mother what he said - not sure if it was that he cursed or cursed by the girl next to him - perhaps thinking he cursed at her. Anyway, this girls mother called the girls mother who sits next to him and i guess she called the school to complain. The Asst. principal wanted to hear what happened and my son said what he did and the principal said ok don't worry your not in trouble but i have to call your house. They never called me. I am going to call tomorrow! If they call my son into the office they should notifiy me don't u think? Would u be upset about this? my son was so upset and i know he would Never curse at another student - the asst. principal also mentioned that he spoke to my son's teachers and they pretty much backed him up that he is not that type

Would u be annoyed if u didn't get a call?

No I wouldn't be annoyed that I didn't get the call, and I wouldn't call the office to talk to them about it either. I'm guessing that the principal called your son down to the office to find out what happened only because the other Mom called to complain, not because he was worried about what happened...he was just making the other Mom feel satisified. Apparently, based on what you said, he isn't going to bother following up on it because he figures it was no big deal and just that other Mom getting overinvolved.

They are probably only wanting to involve the parents in things that merit parental involvement. If they called over every little thing, then parents would be complaining "Can't they handle any of this stuff without always involving me??"

 

[lisaross]

Yes, i totally agree my son should not have cursed!!!

I just want to find out why my son was called to his office - what did the mother say happened..

 

[Priscilla]

Retired teacher here- along with a retired principal-- If the principal was concerned with your childs behavior he would contact you. It seems as though he just wanted to get the facts from your son - also wanted to be able to tell the meddling mom it had been taken care of. Don't worry!

 

[richmond282]

Give the principal time to call you. Sounds like he was just getting your son's side of the story not that the principal was upset. The school office can be crazy busy sometimes and perhaps something else came up that the principal had to deal with or he had a meeting. If you haven't heard from him by Monday, then maybe call but don't be confrontational. Sounds to me like it's a non-issue.

 

[WheelCEO]

wow... the world gets more and more pathetic every day

 

[*Seanaci*]

The situation was taken totally overboard by the one girls mom.

I would be annoyed that I didn't get a call if the asst. principal told my child he was going to call me and then didn't (what's that teaching a kid; not to follow through with ones actions?). And I would most likely call the asst. principal to talk about what happened. The only thing the asst. principal can tell you is "yeah, it was no big deal. I talked to your child, he owned up to it, promised he'll never do it again. And I was able to tell other child's mom the situation has been handled." Plus, if you call, it shows that you are a concerned parent and want to make sure the situation was indeed taken care of and nothing more will come of it. I'm assuming that the girl who was sitting next to your son when he cussed didn't think anything of him cussing and so did not pass it on to her mom. It's unfortunate that one child who simply overheard your sons cursing himself for the poor grade, caused this much of a stink (also sounds like her mom didn't want to be the one complaining and causing a stink, so that's why she called the other girls mom). Personally, if the girl who told her mom about it was that bothered, I wonder why she didn't go to the teacher first. Could have nipped things much quicker (not that anything needed to be nipped).

The other thing that gets me, is that this happened last week, and he was just called into the office this week over it. How long did the girls mom wait to call? Or is it a matter of the school knew it was a non-issue and weren't going to persue it, but had to because this mom kept calling and demanding action?

Obviously, your son knew he was in the wrong for having cursed and I'm sure he will never do it again.

 

[Tinknalli]

Wow, the other Mom overreacted. My son (8) said at dinner last night that a lot of 3rd and 4th graders were using the C word. Not knowing what the C word is I asked him and he told me the one that rhymes with rap (crap). He knows we feel it is vulgar for a child and do not allow him to use it. I explained that other parents may have different rules. He accepted that and then said maybe he would tell a teacher if he heard the kids saying it. I told him not to and he needed to take care of his own behavior and not to worry about what others are doing.

As far as calling the school, seems like the issue is resolved as far as they are concerned. Unless somthing is going in his record that you might need to dispute I would let it go.

 

[ceecee]

I would call, I think that if another girl's mom called to complain about cussing that's over-reacting. It makes me think it may be something else. Just call and say you want to clarify what your 11 yr old told you. Our school is so large that cussing would take a backseat to a lot of things.

 

[mrsklamc]

No, I don't think it's weird that they didn't call you. By 11 years old kids are capable of some responsibility for themselves. It shouldn't be that big a deal for a teacher or principal to say "Hey, you know that word you said? Not appropriate for class, ok?" and not have to involve parents. I'm sure it didn't go in his permanent record or anything.

It is weird that a mother would call about it thirdhand.

I also don't think it makes a difference if he swore, or swore AT someone. Not appropriate for the classroom, under his breath or not.

 

[LilyWDW]

The situation was taken totally overboard by the one girls mom.

I would be annoyed that I didn't get a call if the asst. principal told my child he was going to call me and then didn't (what's that teaching a kid; not to follow through with ones actions?). And I would most likely call the asst. principal to talk about what happened. The only thing the asst. principal can tell you is "yeah, it was no big deal. I talked to your child, he owned up to it, promised he'll never do it again. And I was able to tell other child's mom the situation has been handled." Plus, if you call, it shows that you are a concerned parent and want to make sure the situation was indeed taken care of and nothing more will come of it. I'm assuming that the girl who was sitting next to your son when he cussed didn't think anything of him cussing and so did not pass it on to her mom. It's unfortunate that one child who simply overheard your sons cursing himself for the poor grade, caused this much of a stink (also sounds like her mom didn't want to be the one complaining and causing a stink, so that's why she called the other girls mom). Personally, if the girl who told her mom about it was that bothered, I wonder why she didn't go to the teacher first. Could have nipped things much quicker (not that anything needed to be nipped).

The other thing that gets me, is that this happened last week, and he was just called into the office this week over it. How long did the girls mom wait to call? Or is it a matter of the school knew it was a non-issue and weren't going to persue it, but had to because this mom kept calling and demanding action?

Obviously, your son knew he was in the wrong for having cursed and I'm sure he will never do it again.

The child was spoken to today... as such, I wouldn't be quite so quick at calling or getting upset at the principal about not yet calling. There is no way to know what came up between that conversation and this afternoon. I would give it a couple of days before being "annoyed".

And they most likely won't tell her anything besides "Your kid said a specific word, it was overheard, and there was a complaint. We spoke to all those involved and your child admitted to it. He was spoken to and that was the extent of it."

 

[lisaross]

thanks everyone for responding...

It is not going on his record!! I think after hearing everyone's response i might just let it go and not call.....I do hope to hear from the asst. principal since he did tell my son he would be calling but he is 11 not a baby - he took care of it - i don't think he'll curse again in school and i know he would never curse at a girl. As for the girls mother or should i say both girls mother's i think they got a bit carried away calling the school and if the girls mother thought it was more then him cursing at himself perhaps they could have tried to call me.

 

[mrsklamc]

if the girls mother thought it was more then him cursing at himself ...

You've made that distinction a couple of times and it really confuses me. I have attended several schools and worked several jobs and at none of them would it have mattered who the words were directed at. They just aren't to be used in a 'professional' environment (and as a student school is his 'job.')

 

[MomToOne]

My DD11 has ended up in the Principal's office a few times (all minor violations, she's really a good kid at heart - it's a small school so it doesn't take much to get sent to the principal!). They've never called me, I've always heard about it from my daughter because she can't keep anything like that to herself

In sixth grade they are trying to teach the students that they are responsible for their own actions, good or bad, and they own the consequences. Calling Mommy kills part of that message. So unless something really bad is going on, they don't usually go there. In this case, it sounds like it was a minor offense, your son fessed up and took responsibility for his own actions, so no call was required!

 

[princessmom29]

The whole situation has been blown totally out of proportion by the two girls moms. Your MIDDLE SCHOOL child was questioned about it and was told he was NOT in trouble. The girl's mom didn't need to call the school to tattle on your child, and I don't see any reason the school needed to call you about it. It sounds like there is a problem in the school in general with parents micromanaging. In middle school, it is time to cut the strings and not need to know about every word said to the kids at school. It sounds like your son handled it in a mature manner and did the right thing. I owuld be proud of him for handling it himself and stay out of it.

 

[disneyfans95]

Sorry but this is not something for the budget boards.

Can we move this?

 

[Miandrea]

Another example of helicopter parents.....I wouldn't be annoyed if the assistant principal didn't call. He or she looked into the incident and resolved it....didn't think it was a problem. I think the AP might have had bigger issues.

 

[LuLuO]

I'd be irritated if the AP did contact me about such a silly thing. The AP and your son took care of the situation. All is good so leave it be.

 

[lisaross]

Thanks again everyone....My son did handle it well - learned a lesson and no harm done - won't be calling the school

i know this is NOT budget related but this budget board is like extended family!!

Happy and Healthy Holiday Season to ALL