My six year old asked tonight if something was a bad word

[twins4disney]

Tonight at dinner my six year old son asked us if-the bad word for poop-you know what I mean was a bad word. I first did not understand him and then he says it again. My husband and I have not cussed in front of our kids, maybe too ourselves when they are not around but not in their prescence, so we are looking at each other with wide eyes and don't know what to say. I stupidly asked him to repeat the word and sure enough he said it again. I finally asked him where he heard it and of course he says a boy at school. We tell him that it is a bad word and to not ever repeat it again. My fears are he might say it again, since we freaked out about it. We told him that if he says it at school he will be in trouble. I think we tended to over react, by being so surprised, but I am still concerned he may say it again. Do I leave it alone or tell him again tomorrow about it being a bad word and to not say it?

 

[Kimmumum]

Tonight at dinner my six year old son asked us if-the bad word for poop-you know what I mean was a bad word. I first did not understand him and then he says it again. My husband and I have not cussed in front of our kids, maybe too ourselves when they are not around but not in their prescence, so we are looking at each other with wide eyes and don't know what to say. I stupidly asked him to repeat the word and sure enough he said it again. I finally asked him where he heard it and of course he says a boy at school. We tell him that it is a bad word and to not ever repeat it again. My fears are he might say it again, since we freaked out about it. We told him that if he says it at school he will be in trouble. I think we tended to over react, by being so surprised, but I am still concerned he may say it again. Do I leave it alone or tell him again tomorrow about it being a bad word and to not say it?

I would just leave it alone. Freaking out is not good. It gives them the message that they can't talk openly with you because you will freak. My 2 boys are 10 and 14 and believe me you will hear worse than that but I want them to ask me instead of another kid when they have a question (about anything). Just my two cents

 

[daisy2]

I agree. It's just planting the seed in their head that they can get a reaction out of you if they say the words.

 

[twins4disney]

I think when I said we freaked out, that was a little strong, we did ask him two or three times to repeat it, jsut to make sure, he has some pretty bad speech issues, so I was not really sure he said what we thought.
Thanks for the advice!

 

[chessie2008]

I think you did okay - he needs to know you do not approve of him using the word but that you understand that he will hear it at some point.

A funny story - when dd was 5 she came home and told me someone at school said the 's' word. My eyebrows when up and I cautiously asked what word she heard them say. I smiled when she answered....'stupid'!!! Oh if the innocence could just last....

 

[Aliceacc]

He's a good kid--- he asked before using the word.

Drop the subject. But give him an extra hug tonight.

 

[mommyof2princesses]

We had a similar issue when dd13 was 5 in kindy. She came out and told us she knew the f word. We didn't believe her as the s-word was shut up to her, so we said...you can sa it just this once and sure enough she said f**K! I almost keeled over! Hearing a 5 year old say that word isn't cute. She we told her she can not say that word again and I still have never hear her say it again...yet....she is a teenager now!

 

[bzzymom]

My DH does say Son of a you know what alot when he gets frustrated. I have been on him for years. Last year, DD was 3 and started using it in a department store. It was really embarressing and hard to break her of. I have started saying Oh man in the same manner as the bad words and she uses it now.

 

[DawnM]

I just say, "That isn't a polite word to use." I hear farmers using that word all the time referring to actual poop, so I wouldn't ever say it is a "bad word" but it isn't one we use.

And we add, "we don't use that word, ok?"

Dawn

 

[RMulieri]

I would just leave it alone.Kids learn words /behaviors all the time,that are not appropriate, regardless of whether or not you use them yourself.You did the right thing.At least it happened at home.My DD screamed out a dirty word in the middle of a restaurant....talk about mortifying( she learned it from a boy at school)

 

[tammy1210]

I had to laugh because I had the same reaction to my ds8 not long ago - he was reading his homework book, and in front of my mom and grandmother asked me if pu**y was a bad word - I, also - stunned - asked him what he said, and he repeated it! I took the book from him and the title of one of the chapters was Pu**ycat - later, at bedtime, I did talk to him - and found out that boys at school had been calling each other that - and explained that was definitely a bad word.

I think you did fine, though - I probably would drop it now as long as he knows that it's not acceptable.

 

[whitfield96]

When my daughter was first learning to read, she was in the car with her father and I came out of the store, she asked me what "f***" meant. She was in Kindergarten and we DO NOT use that word, so I asked her where she heard that-she pointed out the car window to the Fire Department Connection sign FDC-she was just trying to sound it out!

 

[design_mom]

I think you handled it fine, so I would drop it now unless he brings it up again.

My son (7) has come home from school with a few choice words that he's picked up from other kids. We have said, "You're not in trouble this time, because I know you didn't know... but that word is not polite, and we don't use it...Okay?" So far, we've never had a repeat offense, so hopefully it's working.

 

[thegrimdwarf]

We don't label any words as "bad" or whatever - we call them "adult words", and let my 2 and 4 year old they''ll be in trouble if they use them. I take this approach because I hear such foul, disgusting mouths on people everywhere these days, and don't want to be in Target hearing my 4 and 2 year old tell some jerk in his 40's that he said a bad word, or field questions about why he said it, etc.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

When DD has asked about certain words, we just tell her that they aren't nice words and that we don't talk like that in our house. However, we also tell her that if she has a question about a word she hears, she can whisper it to mommy or daddy and we will tell her whether it's something she can repeat. It's worked for us. DD asks the meaning for every word she hears to we spend a lot of time explaining. But we also know that she will come to us when she has a question.

 

[bumbershoot]

We don't label any words as "bad" or whatever - we call them "adult words", and let my 2 and 4 year old they''ll be in trouble if they use them. I take this approach because I hear such foul, disgusting mouths on people everywhere these days, and don't want to be in Target hearing my 4 and 2 year old tell some jerk in his 40's that he said a bad word, or field questions about why he said it, etc.

I like that. We try to do that, but sometimes we aren't perfect. Also, um, we've been known to swear in front of DS (he knows a compound, rude, swearword thanks to hubby being hot and frustrated while doing some in-town driving last summer, sigh).

When he asks why we swear sometimes, or if I've just said something and he asks why I said that, I will tell him it's because I'm not thinking and have no imagination for expressing myself. I hope it'll help him see how boring swearing is, and how it doesn't help any situation.

 

[twins4disney]

I definetly like the "adult" word idea, also the whispering if they have questions about another word in the future. Thanks everybody!

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

My dd 6 came home from kindergarten and asked at the dinner table what the f*** meant and if it was a naughty word. I thanked her for coming to me about it and told her that we do not use those sorts of words in our house. I was happy we, thus far, have the relationship that she feels comfortable coming to me about things like that. She asked why those boys were saying things like that, and I told her they were angry words for people who had nothing better to say....to which she replied "like Oh Rascals" which is the word we came up for to use when she gets frustrated as I couldn't stand to hear Darn It come out of her mouth any longer...

I think the best thing you can do is act calmly when they come to you with questions like that.

 

[_queenie_]

I definetly like the "adult" word idea, also the whispering if they have questions about another word in the future. Thanks everybody!

My DD almost 4 made up the unofficial rule "You can swear when you start driving" (going for her and DD13, she's confined to the mild swears like "crap") last Summer when my DS was starting to drive (not that he didn't let the occassional cuss slip out before ). It's not uncommon for someone to cut me off, causing me to say "Oh s***, what's that idiot doing! ", but luckily she quickly "scolds" me.