My Responsibility

[PrincessSuzanne]

My mother passed away 3 weeks ago and left some debt, nothing major, but I don't know if I am responsible for any of it. I am her only child and she was not married and both of her parents are deceased. She had a will, but just a basic one that left anything to me. I do have to probate it because she just purchased a minivan and I will have to get it registered to use for myself, but other than that, she didn't own any property (sold that in June) and only a few pieces of furniture from when she was married and what she inherited from her mother.

She does however have several credit cards, most of which had some sort of protection plan to pay them off, but some of the others do not. Most said they would just write it off and others wouldn't tell me anything, until they see a death certificate. Everyone keeps talking about her Estate, but all she got was a monthly retirement and it was just enough for her to live off of. She did have life insurance, but most of it will pay for the funeral. Am I responsible for any of this debt? Also, am I responsible for any medical bills from the day she was taken to the hospital, she was only there for maybe 15 hours and she did have good insurance?

I really need to ease my mind about this, I don't want to end up with alot of debt that isn't mine.

Suzanne

 

[just4today]

I didn't read all the way through your post, but in short - no, you are not. Her estate is reponsible for any outstanding debts. You need to turn this over to an attorney or the executor.

 

[Jewel1310]

I agree, her estate and not you are responsible for any debts. Call the credit card companies and let them know that she passed on. You do not need to take on that debt.

so sorry for your loss and the extra burden you are carrying.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I didn't read all the way through your post, but in short - no, you are not. Her estate is reponsible for any outstanding debts. You need to turn this over to an attorney or the executor.

I am the executor and my attorney said the only this I had to do was probate so I could get her van registered in my name, I inherited everything else. There really is no estate as such, or do I just not understand what an estate is.


Suzanne

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I actually do not know.. but I would think you would not be. I would consult a good probate attorney to protect you.. I know it will cost my money, but I would want to protect myself. There was no estate other than the Van.. can they make you sell the van and turn the proceeds over to credit card companies? I truly do not know and if I were you, I would find someone to answer these legal questions for you.

I am sorry that you have to deal with this on top of losing your Mom..

 

[C.Ann]

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss..

Second of all, her "estate" is anything she still owned at the time of her death (her car, funrniture, etc.) and any money she may have had in the bank.. Those are the funds that would be used to pay any outstanding bills.. (The car and furniture would have to be sold at fair market value..)

Her life insurance policy is not included as part of the estate.. You can use that money any way you see fit..

Lastly, you are not responsible for any of her outstanding debts - unless you co-signed something or signed as the "responsible party" for her medical care.. Do not let any bill collector or anyone else try to hood wink you into thinking otherwise (and many of them will).. If you give them so much as a dime, you have "assumed responsibility" for that bill..

Again, I am so sorry for your loss..

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I agree, her estate and not you are responsible for any debts. Call the credit card companies and let them know that she passed on. You do not need to take on that debt.

so sorry for your loss and the extra burden you are carrying.

Thank you, it has been really hard, luckily I have a great DH. That is one of the first things I did (call the cc companies). I am not the kind of person to let a thing like this linger. My mom had just finished settling my grandmothers estate from 2001 only a month before passing (which was very unexpected) and I dont' want to go through that again as I did with her.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss..

Second of all, her "estate" is anything she still owned at the time of her death (her car, funrniture, etc.) and any money she may have had in the bank.. Those are the funds that would be used to pay any outstanding bills.. (The car and furniture would have to be sold at fair market value..)

Her life insurance policy is not included as part of the estate.. You can use that money any way you see fit..

Lastly, you are not responsible for any of her outstanding debts - unless you co-signed something or signed as the "responsible party" for her medical care.. Do not let any bill collector or anyone else try to hood wink you into thinking otherwise (and many of them will).. If you give them so much as a dime, you have "assumed responsibility" for that bill..

Again, I am so sorry for your loss..

Thank you, you have eased my mind somewhat.

I have to have the van to get to work, she took me everyday, since DH had to have our car. I won't get rid of the furniture, since they are antiques and have been passed down through the family, but there is no proof she owned anything except the van. Her bank accts automatically became mine as soon as she passed as that was how she had those set up and we are having to use that to live off of until we get the insurance money. DH and I both work and I have a great job, but mom was buying the groceries and paying some of the bills and had custody of my 17 year old cousin, who is still with me, so I have ot use that to take up the slack, since I can't cash her child support checks until I file for custody and go to court, so I am backed into a corner.

I have a policy of not co-signing on anything with anybody, so I don't get stuck with those bills, one experience was enough and it was only a cell phone.

I guess I will have to corner the attorney again or go see another one.

Suzanne

 

[C.Ann]

Thank you, you have eased my mind somewhat.

I have to have the van to get to work, she took me everyday, since DH had to have our car. I won't get rid of the furniture, since they are antiques and have been passed down through the family, but there is no proof she owned anything except the van. Her bank accts automatically became mine as soon as she passed as that was how she had those set up and we are having to use that to live off of until we get the insurance money. DH and I both work and I have a great job, but mom was buying the groceries and paying some of the bills and had custody of my 17 year old cousin, who is still with me, so I have ot use that to take up the slack, since I can't cash her child support checks until I file for custody and go to court, so I am backed into a corner.

I have a policy of not co-signing on anything with anybody, so I don't get stuck with those bills, one experience was enough and it was only a cell phone.

I guess I will have to corner the attorney again or go see another one.

Suzanne

-------------------------------

Okay.. It sounds like you're in good shape.. My only concern would be the car - and your attorney may advise you of same way around that.. Was it paid for or is there an outstanding loan on it? Also, make sure your mom's name is off of those bank accounts..

It sure sounds like you have your plate full! Again, I'm so sorry for you loss..

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

-------------------------------

Okay.. It sounds like you're in good shape.. My only concern would be the car - and your attorney may advise you of same way around that.. Was it paid for or is there an outstanding loan on it? Also, make sure your mom's name is off of those bank accounts..

It sure sounds like you have your plate full! Again, I'm so sorry for you loss..

Thank goodness. She paid cash for the van, so there is nothing outstanding for it. I think they took her name off the bank accts when I went in the week she died, but I will make sure tonight or tomorrow.

I never expected to be doing this so soon. My mom was only 60, but I guess it was her time, as they say. She didn't even get to enjoy all of the funds from my grandmothers estate, funny how life works.

Suzanne

 

[C.Ann]

My mom was only 60, but I guess it was her time, as they say. She didn't even get to enjoy all of the funds from my grandmothers estate, funny how life works.

Suzanne

----------------------------

Oh my! That just makes it even worse.. What a shock!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

----------------------------

Oh my! That just makes it even worse.. What a shock!

Yeah, I am still in shock and worry, and pain, and sadness, and any other emotion you can think of. I just don't want this hanging over my head. DH and I got married just 5 months after my grandmother passed away and that was just settled (after 7 years) and we thought life was just beginning to become normal. Any other man would have walked out on me by now, then this happens. If it weren't for WDW (and DH of course), I would be really crazy and after this last 3 weeks, I am almost there.

Suzanne

 

[bubie2.5]

You are not legally responsible for her debts.
My mother died last year at 64. She was an only child and I was her only child. Both her parents died a long time ago as well as my father. When she passed away there was a BIG debt due to her treatment (her insurance had dropped her a month before was first diagnosed), but I paid it all after I sold her house.

I knew how she hated to have any unpaid bills and lived debt free since I can remember; so for me there was no question that the first thing I was going to do was pay all debt. BUT I had no 17 y/o to take care of and had lived on my own for a long time.

What I’m trying to say is that if you can’t pay her debt, don’t feel mortified. I’m sure your mother wouldn’t want you to get into debt to pay for her credit cards.

 

[suzannews]

Just wanted to say to you. My Mom passed away this past December so I am right there with you. My Mom didn't own anything (house, car, etc) but did have some credit card debt and medical debt. Once we sent a copy of the death certificate to verify, all accounts were closed and done.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Just wanted to say to you. My Mom passed away this past December so I am right there with you. My Mom didn't own anything (house, car, etc) but did have some credit card debt and medical debt. Once we sent a copy of the death certificate to verify, all accounts were closed and done.

Thank you Suzanne. One of my moms best friends who has helped me through alot of this lost her mother last December, so it helps to have someone who understands to be right there with you. Sorry for your loss as well no one should have to go through this, it is he::

Suzanne

 

[Luv Bunnies]

OP - I'm sorry for your loss. It looks like you've already received some good advice from other posters.

One thing I would like to pass on to others who may face this situation is the ease of having a Living Trust as opposed to a Will. When my mother in law passed away, she had all of her assets in a Living Trust. My husband and his brother were named as trustees. With a trust, there is no probate. You need a lawyer to write up the trust but you don't need one to carry out the trust. You simply take the trust papers and death certificate to the bank and all of the accounts are transferred into the names of the trustee(s). You take the trust papers and the death certificate to the DMV and any vehicles are immediately transferred to the trustee(s). We were able to sell her house and split the proceeds with no problem at all. Since we had immediate access to her bank accounts, we were able to pay all of the bills that came in with her money. My husband and brother in law just had to sign the checks as trustees.

My parents have all of their assets set up in a trust and we plan to do the same very soon. For anyone who wants to avoid probate, you might want to look into getting a trust.

 

[bumbershoot]

I never expected to be doing this so soon. My mom was only 60, but I guess it was her time, as they say. She didn't even get to enjoy all of the funds from my grandmothers estate, funny how life works.

Although there were no financial problems when she died, my mom had the same basic thing happen. My grandma wasn't dead, but had gone to a nursing home after breaking her hip, while in the throes of Alzheimer's, and once she was out of the house a certain amount of time, the "reverse mortgage" took effect, so my mom and her siblings had to clear the house. They had been contentious during my grandmother's problems (aunt and uncle assuming that my mom should pay the lion's share b/c her relatively new husband made lots of money) so it was difficult, but she had just gotten everything that was important to her out of Nama's house. And then my mom got sick fast, started to get better, then a medical error did her in. And now I have all the stuff from my grandmother's place that was important to my mom, but I don't know why it was important. Sigh.


I got to help with my MIL when FIL died, and that wasn't fun. He didn't even have life insurance to cover his simple cremation or Buddhist ceremony. Fortunately almost all of them were willing to either close things out entirely or switch cards/accounts over to my MIL, with just a fax of the death certificate (AARP suggested getting TWELVE certified copies of the certificate! at $18 per certified certificate! We got 3 and that was too many b/c so many places only needed faxes, but the 3 did help us get things done *faster*). Alas, FIL died with 6 years of un*filed* taxes and nothing taken from his checks (self employed, ugh), and MIL got to be responsible for that....NOT pretty for her.

But you, as a non-spouse (obviously), are not responsible.

 

[PaulaSB12]

My mother passed away 3 weeks ago and left some debt, nothing major, but I don't know if I am responsible for any of it. I am her only child and she was not married and both of her parents are deceased. She had a will, but just a basic one that left anything to me. I do have to probate it because she just purchased a minivan and I will have to get it registered to use for myself, but other than that, she didn't own any property (sold that in June) and only a few pieces of furniture from when she was married and what she inherited from her mother.

She does however have several credit cards, most of which had some sort of protection plan to pay them off, but some of the others do not. Most said they would just write it off and others wouldn't tell me anything, until they see a death certificate. Everyone keeps talking about her Estate, but all she got was a monthly retirement and it was just enough for her to live off of. She did have life insurance, but most of it will pay for the funeral. Am I responsible for any of this debt? Also, am I responsible for any medical bills from the day she was taken to the hospital, she was only there for maybe 15 hours and she did have good insurance?

I really need to ease my mind about this, I don't want to end up with alot of debt that isn't mine.

Suzanne

Send them a copy of the death certificate and tell them to whistle for the money, you are not responsible. They may keep asking for it though DON'T PAY My father died with over £200,000 worth of debts (£80,000 in credit card debts alone!) 2 weeks after he died a new credit card arrived!!!!!!!!

 

[DISUNC]

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

OP, I'm sorry that you're going through this. As others have suggested, it is worth the time and money to speak with an estate attorney. Since you already have an attorney, they may be fine, or could recommend one to you. I'm sure this time is difficult for you, and having a knowledgable advocate will help you.

As far as the credit card debt, you, personally owe nothing. The estate might--and since you'd like to keep the van, a lawyer will be of help to make that a reality (perhaps use some insurance $ to purchase the vehicle at book value). But you owe the credit card companies nothing. Some may try to take advantage of your grief and confusion to convince you it's the right/just/moral thing to do. It's not--you didn't incur the debt. This is why it's helpful to have someone to protect you.

I wish you the best. We buried my mom 2 years ago. It's not easy, but it does get easier with time. Please know that.