My Mother Passed Away

[DisneyObsessive]

Hi everyone. Some of you know me, some of you don't. I tend to be in and out on this boards, frequent for a month or two, disappear for amonth or two, rinse and repeat.

Anyway, my mom passed away a month ago yesterday. It was very sudden, she was only 51 and she had been sick for over 2 weeks, was on lots of antibiotics and then she wasnt responsive one day and we had to call the paramedics. They said she went into cardiac arrest on top of complications from pneumonia, which we didnt even know she had (and being she made several dr visits and the dr never checked her lungs knowing full well shes an asthmatic, we are prob going to file a malpractice suit).


Her body couldn't handle it all, I guess.

She's left behind my father, whose also 51, my brother who just turned 26 this week and myself whose 20. Its been very tough... I never thought I would lose my mother at a young age, so suddenly.... so many things she won't be here to see, college graduation, my first apartment on my own, my first published article (i am a journalism major), my wedding... all big events that will now be bittersweet when they come along.

Its been a month but it feels like just yesterday and yet at the same time, almost as if it hasn't happened at all. It's all very hard to wrap my head around.

My mom really saved me. Some of you may have remembered me posting a year and a ahalf or so back about me entering recovery for anorexia. Its weird to think that my mom, who i fought so much with over the eating disorder (as well as anxiety,depression, and self-injury) turned out to be the one who supported me the most. I mean, i didnt see it then. But i see it now. I wish i had not put her through all of that.... things i had been struggling for the past 7 years... that she knew about for the past 3... but at the same time I am glad to know that she saw me get better. Ive been "recovered" from my anorexia since October, though its still a struggle, and have come very far in a short amount of time and I'm glad she got to see that at the very least.

My mom also introduced me to Disney. She brought me at the age of 2 in 88... and suprised us with another trip 10 years later. She was never a "fanatic". Sometimes rolled her eyes at me for my fanaticism, heh. But she loved it there. We went back again in 03 and even though she would make fun of me for my love of it, she loved it too. Her eyes lit up just like mine did. And she loved that, despite everything i was struggling with, Disney was my one true place of happiness. She loved that she could give that to me. And I love her for giving it. She said to me a few months back how she actually wanted to go back even though she "hated to admit it" ha. I'm sorry that she can't.

I'm going with my friend in may. The very day prior to her passing, my friend and I came up with this crazy idea to go for star wars weekends. We came up with it in about 30 minutes, I asked her, all ready with a list of reasons to convince her... and all she said was "yes." I jumped for joy. I danced around the house the whole day. I told her she was "the best mother ever". And you know what she said? "I know, I've been telling you that for years!"

That was my mother.

Anyway. This post came out waaaay longer than i expected heh. Point is, my mom did great things for me in my 20 years of life. Now i want to do great things in honor of her for the rest of my years.

And I'm going ride it's a small world for her come this may-june... even though I HATE that ride haha but it was her favorite. I'll go through the hell of dancing dolls for her.

I would really love to do something very special for her at disney, but i don't know what.... if anyone has any ideas thatd be great.

And of course any thoughts and supports are appreciated. This is really a struggle but I know the community here is amazing.

And full of lots of wonderful moms like mine, showing their children the magic of Disney along with giving their endless support, love and care to them.

And for all the younger DISers, you might have days where you think you hate her, but the love between you two is stronger than you will ever imagine. So go hug your moms for me.

-Christine

 

[minkydog]

Christine I am so sorry for your loss. You are the same age as my son. He went through a terrible 5-6 years in middle and high school and made my life a living hell. Even though he told me daily that he hated me, I never hated him. Eventually he came to understand that love heals all things. Because of that experience I can assure you unequivocally that your mother, in her wisdom, never hated you and she never gave up on you. She understood the ways of a growing up young adult The best thing you can do for her now is to live your life in such a way that it brings honor to her memory. Make it worth all her sacrifice.

I'm sure she would be happy to know that you are going ahead with your plans to go to Disney in May. Perhaps you can bring along some bubbles to blow as you go through Small World or make a donation to Make a Wish Foundation in your mother's name.

 

[Perrine]

That's a very beautiful and emotional message of love Christine.
There're no words to express how sad I feel and I would like to hug you because I'm a mom (3 girls : 17 years old and twins girls 5 Years old).
There's nothing more important than a mother or a father and as I believe in God, your mom is surely looking at you from heaven.

I'm also Disney addicted and every year we spend our summer vacation with all the family in WDW.
I'm sure your mom would be proud of you not specially because of your battle against anorexia but also for this honour you offer to her.
She has loved you so much and go on loving you from heaven.

I understand when you ask for ideas to do in disney for her, but I should answer "whaterver you do, your mom knows that there's a special link between both of you and this link is called love!"
She was certainly a good mom !

I send you all my thoughts from France (I'm French) and when we'll be in WDW this summer I promise you I will think at you and your mom.

Be courageous and happy and go on struggling agains anorexia.

A french mom.

Perrine.

 

[CarolAnnC]

Dear Christine, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

My girls were 17 and just turned 15 a week before their beloved dad passed away suddenly. It was a shock as he had been in good health, but a heart attack took him from us in an instant.

It is hard at the milestone events without him. High school graduation, junior high graduation were very difficult for both girls. Then came another high school graduation and college for my oldest daughter. The youngest is now 21 and in her 3rd year at college. My oldest is 24 and teaching high school now herself.

You will miss your mom, but the pain will not be as severe as time goes on. It always hurts, but there will be more and more times when you can think of her fondly and not get all choked up.

My girls went to grief recovery therapy and it helped them very much. You might want to check in your area to see if there are any groups you might benefit from. Hospitals or churches could give you advice.

We came to realize over time that their dad, my beloved late husband was always with us in our hearts. He is there, in spirit and I know he can see how his girls have grown up and become beautiful and intelligent young women now.

Your mom will always be in your heart too. She will love you and guide you whenever possible. Just listen for the signs, and the thoughts that may come to you.

Bless you and best wishes...

 

[klmall]

Christine - I am so sorry that you have lost your mother but glad that you have shared this with DIS. My son is also 20 and I know it would be very hard for him to experience any loss of any kind at his age.

Go and enjoy your trip and think of how your Mom helped you learn to love Disney. It will be such a wonderful tribute to her. And for your anorexia keep working to be healthy and love yourself; it's what your Mom wanted.

Continue to share with DIS. There is always someone here who will listen and share.

Again, I am so sorry! Bless you.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Christine.... big hugs to you and your family. I am so sorry about the loss of your Mom, she sounded like my kind of woman and I know you will carry her in your heart for the rest of your life.

I lost my Dad when he was 52, I was 17 and thought he was old. I am here to tell you when 52 came around for me, I realized how very young he was and your Mom too was way too young to leave this world. She sounds to me like she was your hero and got you through some rough times in your life with her love and support. Hold on to those memories, when you are feeling sad, try to focus on the good times that you two had together. And when you do ride It's A Small World, think about how much she enjoyed it...It was my Mom's favorite as well....something about those Mom's loving that music.

It is so hard to lose a parent, no matter what age you are, but it is very difficult when they are young and leave their family behind to take care of each other. I have 3 daughters myself and I know that they love me, they tell me everyday when they call or when they visit. I cannot tell you what that means to a Mom or Dad to hear those words from their grown up children..

Hugs to you Christine... I have you in my prayers..

 

[safetymom]

Christine, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I will keep you all in my prayers.

 

[JunieJay]

{{{Christine}}}

I lost my mother very young too, so I know how you feel. I'll keep you in my prayers. It does get easier with time, you learn to concentrate on the good memories.

 

[mommasita]

to you.

 

[Fan2CSkr]

Christine I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. Your post is so touching and heartfelt. I hope it helped to write it. Mom's know how much their kids love them and I know your Mom does too. Live each day as a gift and feel your Moms love in everything you do. I am so happy and proud of you for overcomming anorexia. I hope your memory of how your Mom supported you through the hard times of recovery help to get your through. I will be thinking of you often.

 

[DISNEYLOVER70]

Christine,

My hugs and prayers are with you as well. I lost my precious father last November 4th. I am 37. He was everything to me, my hero, my friend. And although it still hurts everyday, and I still tear up when I think of him, it helps to remind myself that it isn't so much that I lost him, it is that "I was blessed to have had him at all". We all must be grateful for the wonderful parents we have been given, no matter how long we have them here on earth because too many children never experience that precious love for even a day.

Hold your memories close, think of her always. You sound like you were a great daughter and I am sure she is very proud of you.

p.s. my mom's favorite ride is "it's a small world" also

 

[KimAshton]

Awww hugs Christine. It is hard to lose someone especially that young. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Ify ou ever need to talk feel free to PM me. I lost my brother a few years ago and he was only 24.

 

[DisneyObsessive]

thank you so much for all your support.

 

[TomB'sWidow]

Sorry for your loss,I lost my Mom when I was 20 and pregnant with my first child and it is truly difficult. My children have had to face losing
their Dad they were 18,14 & 2. You have wonderful plans to honor your mother and just focus on that and all your wonderful memories. It will get you through.

 

[zalansky]

Christine - I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my Mom when I was 29 years old (she was 62) and at the time I was single with no children. I had the same thoughts you are having now. She would never dance at my wedding, be with me when my kids were born. It is sad and hurts more than words can express, but she'll be with you in spirit, always. I also have said many times that I am honoring her by living my life the way I do, every day. That's the best I can do for her since she is not physically here.

When my husband and I got married, we dedicated our wedding day to her - we out it in our programs and also lit a candle for her memory. And my husband never even met her...but he knew how much it meant to me.

Time will ease your pain. Remember the good times and enjoy your trip this May!

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[Deesknee]

Christine, I am so sorry for the grief you are experiencing and will have to walk through. I am the mom of 4. Three teenagers. I am told regularly that they hate me. I stand my ground - they theirs. I always love them. And I know as I'm sure your mom did, that they love me. It may be hidden deep inside some times, but they love me and I them.

I have no suggestions for you to memoralize your Mom in Disney, but I think you enjoying life would probably be enough from the sound of you mom.

Peace and happiness to you.

Dee

 

[JandJ]

I am so sorry for your loss I know how hard it is. I lost my mom, my best friend, unexpectadly 4 months before my wedding. She was 65. She had been sick for years, but this trip to the hospital was no different and even her doctor expected her to make a full recovery. But she never left the hospital.

It's very hard, I won't lie to you, but time does help. Therapy helps too. I recommend your local Hospice. They have grief counseling and it was helpful in the beginning. It will be 2 years in June and I have more happy memories than sad now, but there are days . . . I just want to cry all day. Mother's Day is coming up and well, it's never easy and you'll always miss your mom. I have to put on a brave face to make DMIL's day happy, I love my MIL so I push through, but it's hard.

God Bless

 

[kimis]

Christine
You are in my prayers. I do know what you are going through. My mom passed away 6 months ago. It was quick. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer and three and half months later she was gone. I give you my word I will pray for you and your pain. Feel free to always talk about it on this board. We care.

 

[Makua]

Hey Christine. Your trip should be coming up soon. I too have lost my Mom, my best friend. It's been 5 years but some days it still feels like yesterday. You get to the point where you can remember and laugh and cry at the same time. Don't worry about the past, things said and unsaid. Your mom loved you and she knew you loved her. Putting up with teens is just part of the job. When you're a mom you'll understand. Now my feeble attempt to lighten things up a little. After going to the World's Fair way back in 1960 something, I was like 6, I fell in love with It's a Small World. My parents made the mistake of buying me the 45. (Ok, I know you're way too young to know what that is, old school CD) I played that thing ad nauseum! My brother hated that song! As we grew up everytime he found anything that played that song or mentioned it he would get it for me because I had grown up and now the song annoyed me too! About a month after he died we moved from Hawaii to Orlando and of course the first thing we did was go to WDW. My father had died a few months earlier and my Mom was with us. We had gone many times over the years so it was really bittersweet without them. Any way, we had to ride It's a Small World. So we no sooner get in the boat and I'm bawling, so is mom and my daughter. I looked over and even my tough guy husband is crying. People were looking at us like we were insane. I think they really wanted to get out of the boat! Here we were at the happiest place on earth looking absolutely miserable! We started laughing about it soon after getting off the ride, wondering what people thought! And you know that's exactly what my brother would have liked, that we were laughing. So try to enjoy your trip and remember your Mom with a smile.

 

[bytheblood]