My kids took the "Magic" out of the MK and all the other parks, too!

[clkelley]

One thing that helped us the most on our first trip to WDW when the boys were 9 & 10 is if they didn't have to be together then don't make them. They are not together at school. They have their own rooms for a reason

During the trip we knew there would be a lot of togetherness that was not normal. They were sleeping in the same bed. We would be in lines together, on rides together, etc., etc.

Starting at our airport we kept them separate as much as possible for the boring stuff. Hubby dropped me and one kid and the luggage off at the curb and he and the other kid went and parked the car. The same thing at the resort. One son stayed in line with me at check-in and hubby and the other one went to the food court and got us dinner.

On the plane we were in rows behind each other one adult and one kid.

Getting food at quick service places one of us took one kid and got in one line, the other one got in another line a few rows down. Whoever got to the front of the line first would order and the other would bail the line and find a table.

In attraction lines, it would be kid #1, hubby, me, then kid #2. Always kept that separation.

The boys actually did pretty well the entire trip. It broke down when we got to our home airport and we broke our advice and both boys sat with me and the luggage inside the terminal while hubby went and got the car. The reason being it was cold!!!! and we were still in shorts. Well, true to form, since there was nothing to do, the boys picked at each other the entire time. It was late and we were tired and I lost it!!! As soon as the car rubber started down the road, they both fell asleep and me too!!!

They are now 18 & 19 and we have had many great WDW trips together. Of course now we have the best of both worlds. We pretty much let the boys roam on their own but make them show an appearance with us at least 1 sit down meal per day and one attraction per day. So we get a great family vacation in small doses and hubby and I get a great alone vacation too!!

Carol

 

[kalamazoo]

Hi Kangaroodle,

I just wanted to sympathize. I think we've all experienced that agrivating pick-pick-pick that finally makes you snap (a la Donkey/Shrek on the coach ride to Far Far Away).

When I thought about it, though, I realised that my kids have been pretty good on our vacations. When I sat here analysing our trips I came to the conclusion that what works for our family is this:

We do not spend the whole day at WDW. We usually go every day but we leave sometime in the afternoon and we don't go back in the evening (except maybe once to see the fireworks).

Our kids go to bed roughly around their normal bedtime. It helps that we usually rent a villa or a house so that the adults can stay up.

We don't usually eat in restaurants at dinnertime - we'll get take out and eat at "home". Most restaurant do take out like Outback Steakhouse so we're not talking pizza and burgers. I think it is important to have a winding-down period in the evening and, at dinnertime especially, restaurants are crowded and loud.

We usually take the kids swimming or somewhere where they can have unstructured playtime with other children.

Dh and I will often split up and each take a child to go on seperate rides. I think it is important to not force togetherness 24/7. Nobody normally spends all day every day together with the same person and to try to do so on vacation is extremely stressful.

On the same note, a certain amount of alone time is important to everyone. Dh and I make sure that we each get some time alone without spouse or kids (though, frankly, I usually get the short end of the bargain on this point. Guess it's all part of being a mom). The kids can't exactly get away to be alone but we'll sometimes have them in seperate rooms to watch tv or color.

Which brings me back to unwinding - tv, reading, coloring, playing with toys - it's all important. It usually has to be enforced (not as a punishment but just as one of those things you have to do). The kids don't usually especially want to leave to pool to go back "home" but once they are bathed and in their pj's (since we are not usually going back out) they gratefully eat dinner and relax.

Finally, I just wanted to mention a couple of general observations from everyday life with my kids:

My dd really gets quite out of sorts when she gets dehydrated. I'm not talking walking in the hot hot sun dehydrated but the kind that sneaks up on you when you're out running errands. It is easily remedied with the purchase of a bottle of water to sip from as needed.

I find that my kids tend to annoy each other when they are bored or don't know what to do next. For example, they might be companionably playing a game or watching a show on tv and when it's finished, next thing you know there's a squabble going on. It is often started by the older one (the younger is much more capable of keeping herself amused) but, regardless of who starts it, the other always takes the bait. If your kids are anything like that then I can see how they would go at each other particularly when standing in line (that is where most of our problems do occur even though we never will go on something with a long waiting time). Playing games to pass the time e.g. I Spy, or having a gameboy so that a child can "remove" themselves from others within the space constraints of a line-up can help a lot.

Finally, I often find that the biggest plans fall flat or do not live up to expectations. So often we are positive that, based on their interests, our children will love a certain toy we get them for Christmas or a certain activity we have arranged only to find that they are not nearly as excited as we think they should be. I've come to see that it is often the little things that impress them most, and while I still do like to plan special outings or get that gift I think they will like, I don't put nearly as much emphasis on these things as I once would have.

I think that on a WDW trip it is tough to resist doing all these special "extras" because they are there and they seem so great and we are all here on The Dis, planning away or dreaming of the past or living vicariously through others. But really I think that less is more in many cases. I think it is important to not plan too many things that count on everyone being agreeable and happy, and to readily accept a change of plans if needed.

I hope this helps you look forward to your next trip with your family. Please don't let a bad trip discourage you.

 

[PatriciaH]

Get some kids of your own and report back. Garuntee your attitude will change.

No thanks! Especially after reading this thread

Let's all take a look at our own childhood and growing up with brothers and sisters. Did we fight? Sure did. Did we torture each other? Sure did. Did we survive? Sure did.

I loved my sister from the day my mother brought her home and we never fought!

 

[bytheblood]

A good spanking would fix that right up!!!!

 

[mommaU4]

A good spanking would fix that right up!!!!

Now there's a thought! Oh no, wait... "Good parents" NEVER EVER spank! Shame on you for suggesting such a thing.

 

[TomB'sWidow]

Wow I can really relate to your pain & struggle. Our first two trips were great but the trip in 99 was a disaster DD was 16 it was for her birthday
and Ds was 11 they fought the whole time and I too broke down crying at Downtown Disney my husband finally lost it with them when they made me cry he said enough is enough. I also said at the time I didn't know I would ever go back and it was awhile before we went back in 02 for Dh's last trip
that trip also had huge problems especially with DD 18 at the time plus we had added a surprise DD in 2000, I try to say that was just hard trip because of the circumstance. So I went two time after that with DS & DD2 and only had an issues with Ds once and I just put that off as to him missing his father.
I took the whole family in 04 by this time DD1 is 21 and is the mother of a toddler again I had issues with DD1 maybe just maybe she is the problem She is now pregnant with her second child so they will be two years apart and I hope they don't do to her what she has done to me but if they do I hope I am there to witness it

 

[lustergirl]

My sons are ages 16 and 12. We just went on our first trip to Disney this past September. They were both well behaved because they would of got their butts kicked if they got out of line. I would of went old school on them both likes my parents use to. I think today's society is all about what kids can get away with their parents. Some parents are complete push overs and it is their faults. I will mess my boys up if they get out of line and they know it!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa

 

[kittymasi]

MickeyMacks, since no one commented on your post, I certainly will. No one really breaks down the primal conflict that is natural when parenting youngsters... they often just describe the obvious symptoms of an apathetic disease that spreads as children get older, and learn better every day how to manipulate their parents. Your comments hit the nail on the head. A big Amen to you!

 

[Lesley]

um, yeah, hitting a child will teach them to not hit their sibling..... but I can understand the urge sometimes.

There are a lot of great suggestions here....but it always helps to remember that if your kids are particularly creative and adept they will find new ways to drive you nuts. Sometimes we just get caught off guard. I admire those parents who are always more creative and adept than their children....that's where perfect kids come from...lol. As for myself, I'm often tired and out of ideas....even after 12 years of dealing with kids both professionally and as a mom (or maybe especially after 12 years of this....).

WDW is challenging. What is most important is to know your kids and at least think in advance about what can go wrong and how you can handle it...really thinking about what you're willing to do to prevent or correct behavior problems. It won't prevent all problems (unless you're one of those exceptionally creative and adept parents.....if you are, good for you, but please don't look down on those of us whose kids can outdo us in that department....) but it can ward off a lot of them and change what might be a complete disaster into a reasonably enjoyable vacation.

Our trick is really to have other adults with us (particularly my parents). Another one that we're going to be using a lot is "divide and conquer"....especially this January when we'll be on our own. I fully second the suggestion of take out meals...the kids can do their thing and parents can enjoy a decent meal. These are all things we've learned as we've experienced them.....so really, look at everything as a learning experience and figure out what works and what doesn't.

I wish everyone peaceful enjoyable vacations!

 

[mommaU4]

:
I took the whole family in 04 by this time DD1 is 21 and is the mother of a toddler again I had issues with DD1 maybe just maybe she is the problem She is now pregnant with her second child so they will be two years apart and I hope they don't do to her what she has done to me but if they do I hope I am there to witness it

Hee Hee Hee My kids fight so much sometimes it makes me crazy, but what helps is secretly wishing for the day when they are grown and have kids of their own. And when they do and those kids start to fight and they call me to complain about it.... I'm just gonna laugh!!!!

 

[kpossible]

We went in April w/ my three dd. My 3 1/2 yo and 6 y/o did fight and my 6 y/o was difficult at times. But this is how it can be at home and after the first day I realized that I did not want my expectations to be too high thinking my kids would act perfectly because we were in Disneyworld. There were great moments during the trip and there were moments just like any normal day at home like they would be fighting over who got to push the elevator button. I understand how you feel because I think we moms put alot of time planning but I hope you can look back at the pictures of your trip and remember all the good times. As parents it seems that we always have to be teaching our kids right from wrong so we raise good people and even in Disneyworld when we hope for 1 week things will be nothing but magical.

 

[Toni300z]

Wow, I soooo feel your pain. We took our 3 boys to Disney World and universal for 2 whole weeks in February 05. And I was so shocked at how they were acting. Fighting, begging, being disrespectful. I told them we would cut our 2nd week and go home. There was no way I was going to spend 3K and allow them to act up like that. I deal with that at home, I certainly don;t need it on our vacation. Plus, once dad speaks about their behavior- Thats it, they straighten up real quick.

Sorry, that you had to experience that. Pixie Dust for your next trip. I hope they realize what a treat it is to be taken to Disney World! It's not your average trip to just a Local Theme Park. It truly is an experience.

 

[Dznypal]

our kids were DD 5 and DS 7.5 I cant even remember what ride we were waiting for but the kids were acting up so my DH went into the famous phrase

"this is the last big vacation we're ever going on!!!

well the guy next to us said boy does that sound familar!!!

so we started talking and asked where they were from--- he said WI so are we he asked what part we said Milwaukee--he said so are we--

we asked what part he said southwest side so are we!!

turns out they lived only a few blocks from us!!!!

needless to say my DH was only a threat and we went on many more wonderful family trips--

which we're so glad we did since now we have all those wonderful memories of the kids as they were growing up now they are adults and have lives of their own/

DS 24 is married almost 2 years to a wonderful girl we love her as our own
and is one of Milwaukee's finest hes been on the police force for 5 years he started at 19 as an aide and is now an office for 2.5years

DD is 21 and is engaged to a wonderful guy--he planned a whole surprise trip for her in September to WDW and proposed there-- they are getting married in AUgust of 06 and she is in school to become a police officer--she passed the written test which is the first step to get into the acadamy.

they do grow up so fast!!!!

 

[Toni300z]

our kids were DD 5 and DS 7.5 I cant even remember what ride we were waiting for but the kids were acting up so my DH went into the famous phrase

"this is the last big vacation we're ever going on!!!

well the guy next to us said boy does that sound familar!!!

so we started talking and asked where they were from--- he said WI so are we he asked what part we said Milwaukee--he said so are we--

we asked what part he said southwest side so are we!!

turns out they lived only a few blocks from us!!!!

needless to say my DH was only a threat and we went on many more wonderful family trips--

which we're so glad we did since now we have all those wonderful memories of the kids as they were growing up now they are adults and have lives of their own/

DS 24 is married almost 2 years to a wonderful girl we love her as our own
and is one of Milwaukee's finest hes been on the police force for 5 years he started at 19 as an aide and is now an office for 2.5years

DD is 21 and is engaged to a wonderful guy--he planned a whole surprise trip for her in September to WDW and proposed there-- they are getting married in AUgust of 06 and she is in school to become a police officer--she passed the written test which is the first step to get into the acadamy.

they do grow up so fast!!!!

Wow, that is wonderful! Congratulations on your daughters upcoming nuptials! So glad to hear your son is one of Milwaukee's finest!

See, Disney Kids make Happy Disney Adults! LoL!

You are right, they do grow fast. My DS's are 8 (twins) and ten now- And they seems so big now. But I will truly cherish the next 10 years of their lives as they go by even quicker as they reach the double digit age.

 

[PaMom001]

Hi Kangaroodle,

I just wanted to sympathize. I think we've all experienced that agrivating pick-pick-pick that finally makes you snap (a la Donkey/Shrek on the coach ride to Far Far Away).

.

I laughed when I read this!!!! BTW, Are we there yet?

 

[WIcruizer]

All siblings fight, heck all adults fight from time to time. With that said, if children behaved so poorly that it ruins a vacation, that should be a wake-up call. I'm sorry to be so blunt, and don't mean to lecture since I'm far from perfect.

With very young children, I see hundreds every trip to WDW that are in a park far longer than they can handle. And I see their parents fly off the handle. Nobody here ever claims that's happened to them, so I'm not sure who all these people are. You've seen it....the old "Dammit we spent x amount to take you to WDW now stop crying" (After the 4 yr old has been in 90 degree heat waiting in lines for 8 hours.)

The 2nd situation is a little more complicated. It's not limited to WDW, but it's siblings who are constantly fighting. This is well beyond the teasing, occasional fight, etc. If children are at each other's throats enough to ruin a vacation, frankly it's not their fault. There is something deeper going on it that family. Siblings battling for attention..etc.

We wouldn't allow it in our family- period. It's not an option. Children need to be taught how to respect others- especially their siblings.

 

[Toni300z]

All siblings fight, heck all adults fight from time to time. With that said, if children behaved so poorly that it ruins a vacation, that should be a wake-up call. I'm sorry to be so blunt, and don't mean to lecture since I'm far from perfect.

With very young children, I see hundreds every trip to WDW that are in a park far longer than they can handle. And I see their parents fly off the handle. Nobody here ever claims that's happened to them, so I'm not sure who all these people are. You've seen it....the old "Dammit we spent x amount to take you to WDW now stop crying" (After the 4 yr old has been in 90 degree heat waiting in lines for 8 hours.)

The 2nd situation is a little more complicated. It's not limited to WDW, but it's siblings who are constantly fighting. This is well beyond the teasing, occasional fight, etc. If children are at each other's throats enough to ruin a vacation, frankly it's not their fault. There is something deeper going on it that family. Siblings battling for attention..etc.

We wouldn't allow it in our family- period. It's not an option. Children need to be taught how to respect others- especially their siblings.

OMG, I have definitely seen the 1st situation. I laughed out loud at that for a brief momet becuase I have seen a few funny moments and then I have seen some moments that dang near brought a tear to my eye because the paretns were so harsh. The father yelled at his kids and cursed saying some very foul words and how he spent blah blah blah and if they Didnt EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE< he was going to WHIP THEM all when they got back to the resort. I was like What in the world? That was a bit extreme. I am sorry but cursing your kids out is horrible in my opinion, especially in front of others AAAANNNNNNNNNNND AT DISNEY WORLD! WOWSERS! But that's just my 2 cents.

but my kids definitely did NOT argue in the parks, It was in the Resorts or homes we were staying in. Ugh

Oh well.
I hope and pray mine have learned their lesson.
I have been on 3 Disney Trips this year without my boys and IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! They have been so good at home, and are beggin to go back.

 

[suevee]

I haven't read this whole post so someone may have suggested this....but plan a trip for your husband and yourself. Leave them home once. Spring for a babysitter or ask grandparents or aunts and uncles to cover for you. It doesn't have to be a long trip. Just a few days. But let them know that they are not included this time because of their behaviour. IF they behave for the sitters and are kind with each other and you then they may come the next trip. If not ...to bad, so sad....

I have adult children. When they were 5, 10 and 13 we went to WDW. I thought they had a terrible time because of the complaints and attitudes. NOW all they talk about is remember when we went to WDW??? Sometimes I think we went on different trip...

 

[bytheblood]

Now there's a thought! Oh no, wait... "Good parents" NEVER EVER spank! Shame on you for suggesting such a thing.

Spare the rod and spoil the child, right?

 

[Toni300z]

I haven't read this whole post so someone may have suggested this....but plan a trip for your husband and yourself. Leave them home once. Spring for a babysitter or ask grandparents or aunts and uncles to cover for you. It doesn't have to be a long trip. Just a few days. But let them know that they are not included this time because of their behaviour. IF they behave for the sitters and are kind with each other and you then they may come the next trip. If not ...to bad, so sad....

I have adult children. When they were 5, 10 and 13 we went to WDW. I thought they had a terrible time because of the complaints and attitudes. NOW all they talk about is remember when we went to WDW??? Sometimes I think we went on different trip...

HELLO Fellow Maryland' ER!
I totally agree! It's so much fun without the kids sometimes tho.
Les Money! NO "I wants" every 10 minutes!

Yes, that is what I have done the last 3 times I went. They were beggin to go. LOL! I said no, you have to show mommy that you are serious about getting along and respecting each other. You will have to earn the trip. I need to see it over a long period opposed to just a month, like they want!

Hope you had fun!