My kids are spoiled....

[nunzia]

Children don't become spoiled brats because of the things their parents can give them; they become spoiled brats because their parents demonstrate an attitude of entitlement. Our children learn from the lessons we teach them.

VERY well said...as someone else said, bragging can be seen both ways.."We went to the 7-11 for vacation and only got one piece of beef jerky and had to use the gas station rest room to shower" can also be 'bragging'. I am guessing we are all here because we try to make the dollar sretch. We have been poor and not so poor..but we always made choices. We make less than half what our friends do, but we use our funds fo what's important to us, not what's importatnt to anyone else. I would caution parents from giving and giving with their kids not getting what it takes to give. Entitlement is a very real problem, so I'd just say watch it on that.

 

[Robinrs]

I'm really surprised that someone who has to tighten their budget to have DVC and then brags about it.

Most money experts will tell you a time share is not a smart place to put your hard earned $$.

In fact my dear friend, Clark Howard, considers them foolish.

OP, you're certainly able to post anything and wherever you want but understand, once it's placed it is subject to the thoughts and history of thousands of anonymous people with strong opinions about money, children and character.

I am a single parent. I was blessed enought to have a well paying job so I've gone to Orlando approx 30 times since my son was 6. We've stayed in everything from the Holiday Inn on I Drive to a 3 bedroom suite in the Swan and Dolphin. We've rented 4 bedroom homes, stayed in nearly every timeshare in Orlando and I've never, ever spent more than 1000 a week for any accommodation I've stayed at.

I use TUG, other people's points and contacts to provide my child with the best vacations I can afford.

He's 17 now and while he appreciates all that Mommy has done for him, I was unemployed for a year and a half and he realizes that these trips cannot happen like they used to. We haven't been able to go in 3 years.

Now that I've been working for about a year he asked me if we could go and could we please go and just stay anywhere, not go to the parks, just hang out. He wants to make ME happy and give ME a break.

Sure, I've given him a lot of year of fun vacations, but I didn't "spoil" him, I BLESSED him. Blessings can be gone in a second, we must be careful how we consider them.

Our children have to learn EARLY about how money is earned, spent and how it affects us. It's not the price, size or location, but the quality of the time spent.

I'm sure we can all agree that a spoiled child should only be spoiled with love.

 

[Alesia]

I'm not talking even necessarily about brats.

My sister married a guy. Nice guy. Really sweet. Not a brat at all. But his lifestyle growing up was one of privilege. Designer clothes, expensive vacations, fine restaurants. When it was no longer Dad's money, he had a really rough time adjusting his habits to what he could afford (what they could afford) - never did while they were married. It just didn't occur to him to buy sweatshirts that weren't Nautica. It was entitlement, but a sort of oblivious entitlement that just didn't know any better.

Actually, by that description, I would consider him a brat. Or, at least, the adult equivalent of a brat.

Everyone with a sense of entitlement is oblivious to it. Someone "not knowing any better" doesn't make them any less insufferable.

 

[wdwfan16]

VERY well said...as someone else said, bragging can be seen both ways.."We went to the 7-11 for vacation and only got one piece of beef jerky and had to use the gas station rest room to shower" can also be 'bragging'. I am guessing we are all here because we try to make the dollar sretch. We have been poor and not so poor..but we always made choices. We make less than half what our friends do, but we use our funds fo what's important to us, not what's importatnt to anyone else. I would caution parents from giving and giving with their kids not getting what it takes to give. Entitlement is a very real problem, so I'd just say watch it on that.

 

[sunnyday123]

Children don't become spoiled brats because of the things their parents can give them; they become spoiled brats because their parents demonstrate an attitude of entitlement. Our children learn from the lessons we teach them.

Ding Ding Ding!!!! We have a winner!!! LOVE this post!

You can take your kids wherever you can afford; it's their ( and yours ) character thats important.

 

[nunzia]

I'm really surprised that someone who has to tighten their budget to have DVC and then brags about it.

Most money experts will tell you a time share is not a smart place to put your hard earned $$.

I never went to Disney as a kid and treasured all the camping trips we took all over the USA as a family.

I also tightened my budget for DVC..we appreciate that we have room to tighten and we feel that our DVC is a smart place to put our money. I really don't feel like others should judge how people choose to spend their money..as long as they aren't leeching off society in some way, it's no ones business. I don't judge if someone wants to spend over $1,000 for a purse..I don't get it, but if that's what makes them happy and they do it responsibly, so what? I don't care if people go out to eat every night or anything else that in our family we'd consider a waste of money. I work two jobs to do the things we consider important and my DH works very long and hard hours too. Personally I hate camping..and it can be pretty pricey with all the gear and stuff, and when I was a young teen my parents thought it would fun to get a motor home and travel and although we had some decent family time, overall, I hated those vacations. Not good or bad, just different things people like and don't like.

 

[crisi]

Actually, by that description, I would consider him a brat. Or, at least, the adult equivalent of a brat.

Everyone with a sense of entitlement is oblivious to it. Someone "not knowing any better" doesn't make them any less insufferable.

Well, he was spoiled, but there was nothing at all brattish about his behavior. To me, brat implies some intent. He just didn't know better and it took him a while to learn (which he didn't do during his marriage to my sister. But I've heard he did do eventually). And he WAS taking responsibility for it, it wasn't like Dad was bailing him out, nor did he expect Dad to.

My sister, without the life of privilege, was much more of a "spoiled brat" because she wasn't clueless.

There is a reason that we use the term "spoiled brat" and not just "spoiled" to mean brat or brat to mean spoiled.

 

[mommycrawford]

Lol. spoiled isn't the word..I can remember going to FL as a small child and my dad would have us sleep in the van. Seriously..
He was so tight he squeaked when he walked.
My daughter is 15 and is about to take her 6th trip to the world with me..I guess i'm trying to give her what I didn't get.

I feel you!...My dad drove my sister and I from NYC to Disneyworld in the back of a Datsun B 210 (if you can remember how small that is)
It was a good car for finding a parking spot, but I swear that trip gave me scoliosis !

We stay at the values, but have been every year since DD was five (now11,)
BBB, dining plan, etc. She's a great kid though, and willing to do bake sales outside our apartment to help raise the funds!

 

[ssawka]

I'm really surprised that someone who has to tighten their budget to have DVC and then brags about it.

Most money experts will tell you a time share is not a smart place to put your hard earned $$.

I never went to Disney as a kid and treasured all the camping trips we took all over the USA as a family.

Not everything you spend $$ on needs to make sound financial sense. Sometimes you just do it because it's fun and brings you enjoyment. I'm sure the so called "money experts" are looking at time shares as an investment. If you look at it from that aspect, of course it doesn't make financial sense since it will nearly always yield a negative ROI. However if you look at it from the desire to want to take vacations periodically and you want to hedge against the ever increasing cost of hotel stays, then it does make financial sense. In other words, if you're going to spend the $$ on vacations anyway, then a time share will save you money in the long run. Also, with Disney the risk is quite low since people are always looking to buy DVC resales.

 

[rentayenta]

I think this is where people are taking issue with some of the posts. Spoiled seems to have the connotation of expecting things with out ever being grateful for them. I am sure none of us would want our children perceived in that light nor I would think that the parents would want to be seen as ones that truly "Spoil" their children, giving them the impression that they could have whatever they want, whenever they want. It sounds to me that the OP children are very lucky indeed and as she says hopefully they will realize this and appreciate the experiences and advantages they have been given.

Exactly.


Making threats about downgrading hotel rooms at WDW is silly IMHO.

 

[brittsmum1998]

Exactly.


Making threats about downgrading hotel rooms at WDW is silly IMHO.

I took offense (kind of) to the driving (gasp!) part as we drive from Massachusetts quite often and we own DVC .

I've got to agree parts were very silly.

Although in all honesty I've talked to my dd (soon to be 12) and told her there is no reason her friends need to know how many times we've been. It is referred to in our house as "bragging".

 

[MrsPete]

What value do you give your kids out of their "experiences" and are they getting enough value or are they gaining a sense of entitlement? If the entitlement starts to show, we need to cut back or cut out. If they are growing, then we continue to do it. But it needs to be managed. We take them to nice restaurants, are they learning good manners as part of the experience, or are they simply becoming snobs about going out to dinner?

There's a fine line between providing enriching activities and over-doing, and often we realize that the line exists when we've overshot the mark (in one direction or the other). I think the most important thing is that parents ARE AWARE that they should aim for a mid-point, a balance. The people who just give-give-give without a second thought are raising kids who won't be able to support themselves as adults.

Every generation goes through this. My father always loved to tell the proverbial "I had to walk through a blizzard 5 miles to get to school" story.

My first born is a freshmen at college, he called me in a panic yesterday because he went to the ATM machine and it said "insufficient funds". He wanted to know what should he do? I suggested that he go back to the dorms and find some thing "Free" to do because his plans just changed. LOL.

Oh, that's a great story!

I teach high school seniors, and it's funny to hear the over-indulged planning for college. Such-and-such school expects you to SHARE a dorm room? The bathroom's down the hall? Where do you park when you drive to class? The problem is that these kids haven't learned that they can't always go first-class, and they're the ones who suffer for it later. They're the ones who fall into credit card debt because they don't get that they can't go out to eat 3-4 times a week in college, etc.

I'm not talking even necessarily about brats.

My sister married a guy. Nice guy. Really sweet. Not a brat at all. But his lifestyle growing up was one of privilege. Designer clothes, expensive vacations, fine restaurants. When it was no longer Dad's money, he had a really rough time adjusting his habits to what he could afford (what they could afford) - never did while they were married. It just didn't occur to him to buy sweatshirts that weren't Nautica. It was entitlement, but a sort of oblivious entitlement that just didn't know any better.

Yeah, that's the kind of thing I'm talking about. It isn't that these kids consciously think, "I deserve this and that" -- it's that they simply aren't aware that people make choices other than first-class (and the ensuing costs). So they don't "get" that driving to Florida is an option, that some people don't have a private car in college, that borrowing a dress from a girl down the hall is a fine choice for a fraternity semi-formal dance, that shampoo and cosmetics are sold at Walmart, that a $10 haircut sometimes has to do. It's good for kids to grow up realizing their options and understanding how to make the choice between "this is a time to splurge" and "let's do this one on a shoestring".

 

[sunnyday123]

I took offense (kind of) to the driving (gasp!) part as we drive from Massachusetts quite often and we own DVC .

I've got to agree parts were very silly.

Although in all honesty I've talked to my dd (soon to be 12) and told her there is no reason her friends need to know how many times we've been. It is referred to in our house as "bragging".

That would be "bragging" in any house, I would think!

I'm still trying to figure out where these $25 Best Western rooms are, they'd work great for a road trip!

 

[cdnmomof2]

So here's the thing for me... I've taken my family on 2 pretty great vacations in recent years. It's not like I had extra money kicking around, but the entertainment & food budget do have some flexibility.... and I felt that I couldn't afford NOT to go NOW.

The point is, I'm in a panic to make sure my kids have some great memories of time with me having fun, and not just the day to day memories that blend into each other. I'm 4 years older now than when my mother got cancer. My friend's mom died of cancer before she was 40. My uncle, and several others all too young, are gone as well.

Every time I hear somebody say... "I wish I would have:, it makes me think. And then I scrape together some money, take a little time off work & do something "exciting". (Exciting - should not be read as expensive.

Any trip, (as a dozen others have stated) can be a road trip in the family car to the next state, to visit a relative. Or a plane trip to visit THE MOUSE, but as long as you're laughing & together & take some pictures to jog your memory later, it can be a great trip.

I just pray that I have lots more time on this earth to show my kids that their mom is not all work and rules and budget, but is a lot of fun too. But, if my time IS limited, then at least I know we've already made some great memories.

 

[Ka' eo]

Kids will remember blurs of memories. Not how fancy their trip was.

My grandparents lived in Florida, and every year we went to visit them, sometimes twice. We drove, we took the train and we flew. We stayed in everything from Hojo's to the Poly at WDW. I have very strong memories of wandering around the Poly and loving it as or the awesome mural at CR and riding the monorail. But I have just as happy memories of eating at Hojo's and swimming at the pool there. My parents made magical trips and there was never a value placed on flying versus driving. They would just say "We're going on an adventure!"

My parents worked really hard when we were kids, and our vacations really were a special time. We had fun, laughed, saw so much and learned alot from our road trips, esp. We would stop at historic sites all along the eastern seaboard.

My dh works hard and takes very few vacations. We don't have time to drive to Florida when he takes time off because he won't generally take more than a week off at a time. I wish have the chance to drive to Disney because I think our kids would love it.

We have always stayed onsite primarily because our children have special needs and it was easier, but this year we decided to go budget and found cheap offsite accommodations. We haven't presented it as anything negative. They are just thrilled to be able to go to Florida and have a family vacation. We'll just focus on having a blast.

Kids adopt their parents' views. Undoubtedly if kids are horrified by anything other than a deluxe vacation, they've been listening to their parents.

 

[eliza61]

So here's the thing for me... I've taken my family on 2 pretty great vacations in recent years. It's not like I had extra money kicking around, but the entertainment & food budget do have some flexibility.... and I felt that I couldn't afford NOT to go NOW.

The point is, I'm in a panic to make sure my kids have some great memories of time with me having fun, and not just the day to day memories that blend into each other. I'm 4 years older now than when my mother got cancer. My friend's mom died of cancer before she was 40. My uncle, and several others all too young, are gone as well.


Any trip, (as a dozen others have stated) can be a road trip in the family car to the next state, to visit a relative. Or a plane trip to visit THE MOUSE, but as long as you're laughing & together & take some pictures to jog your memory later, it can be a great trip.

I just pray that I have lots more time on this earth to show my kids that their mom is not all work and rules and budget, but is a lot of fun too. But, if my time IS limited, then at least I know we've already made some great memories.

Don't discount the "every" day memories also. I lost my mom in my early twenties from Cancer. My siblings and I remember some outrageously funny stories that simply happened. Like the time, my sister and I snuck out the house to try and see the Jackson Five at the Apollo theater in Harlem after she had said no only to be greated at the Apollo by my mother and Aunt.

Now we know what our kids need is our time and attention. It's a balancing act and it's hard. We want to give our kids the best but some times we have to remember that we also have a responsiblity to mold these "mini-me's" into functioning, contributing adults.

 

[wdwfan16]

So here's the thing for me... I've taken my family on 2 pretty great vacations in recent years. It's not like I had extra money kicking around, but the entertainment & food budget do have some flexibility.... and I felt that I couldn't afford NOT to go NOW.

The point is, I'm in a panic to make sure my kids have some great memories of time with me having fun, and not just the day to day memories that blend into each other. I'm 4 years older now than when my mother got cancer. My friend's mom died of cancer before she was 40. My uncle, and several others all too young, are gone as well.

Every time I hear somebody say... "I wish I would have:, it makes me think. And then I scrape together some money, take a little time off work & do something "exciting". (Exciting - should not be read as expensive.

Any trip, (as a dozen others have stated) can be a road trip in the family car to the next state, to visit a relative. Or a plane trip to visit THE MOUSE, but as long as you're laughing & together & take some pictures to jog your memory later, it can be a great trip.

I just pray that I have lots more time on this earth to show my kids that their mom is not all work and rules and budget, but is a lot of fun too. But, if my time IS limited, then at least I know we've already made some great memories.

Myfondest memories occurred in my Grandmother's kitchen.

I hope you hve many more years to spend as a family.

 

[crisi]

Myfondest memories occurred in my Grandmother's kitchen.

I hope you have many more years to spend as a family.

Yep. My kids went to Europe last summer. Ask my son what he did last summer and he'll talk about baseball (and his dad coaching). My daughter will tell you about strawberry picking and making jam. They'll tell you Grandma babysat them and they got to spend time with Grandma. They'll tell you that they made $40 EACH selling their old toys at a garage sale. AND they got to spend a week in the middle of nowhere North Dakota visiting their cousins.

 

[barbarabini]

I think if parents notice that their kids are getting "spoiled" then you can turn it around. Dial back the extras, the luxuries, let them live a little bit like you lived as a child. They are young, and you can change their outlook.

I came to that personal conclusion this summer. My 5 year old daughter thought the hotel room was too small and made a comment about it. We stayed in the BLT and she said "this room is as small as a mouses house, and we are not mice."

I thought, what am I teaching this kid?! and I thought long and hard about it. I did not grow up privileged at all. My parents instilled in me you can work for something and get it, that they will assist me when they can and that you always have too look around and know that someone always has it worse than you and you have a duty to those poorer than you.

So, move it up to Christmas this year, we dialed back the toys, we dialed back the Valentines and the shopping and this summer we will not be hitting Disney but the shore instead. She learned a hard lesson this Christmas that some kids don't get any gifts, and some don't have houses or parents when I took her to a shelter that I usually work with.

She is young and I won't make the mistake with the other little ones that I made with her. But what a wake-up call. I am glad it happened early.

 

[MarilIncredible]

That would be "bragging" in any house, I would think!

I'm still trying to figure out where these $25 Best Western rooms are, they'd work great for a road trip!

I remember going to Disney back in the early/mid 1980s and staying at the $25/night Motel 6 and Super 8. I guess I was just too grounded or oblivious to think we were slumming it back then.

But I don't think you'll find $25/night hotels around much nowadays. Probably $60 or so is a "cheapie" today.