My 'Hit By a Bus' cheatsheet

[Swimalie]

OMG, that is so touching. I teared up!

Me, too.

My parents have done the "upon our death" papers for my sister and I. We both have a copy which is in our fire safes as well as they have a copy. It has all the information we need for when they are gone. Plus where stuff is hidden around their house.

It's something I need to do as well. I've asked my mother in law to do this since she's a widow and her house is a mess but she has, so far, not bothered. I'm glad her daughter is in the town with her (and we are 800 miles away) so we don't have to sift through piles f magazines from 2001 to look for paperwork right away.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

As of right now, she just gets it. I have 100% trust in her - we have a very, VERY close relationship and see each other all the time and she loves my kids almost as much as I do. In fact, I've had serious conversations with her about spending MORE of my money if dh and I pass...she is very frugal, barely spends any money and I have fear that she will be afraid to spend any of my money on herself or her kids. We would be leaving them quite a bit...and aside from paying for my kids college and giving them a nice down payment on a house and/or wedding costs, I don't need my kids to have a huge lump of money...so I have encouraged her to use our money to pay off her house so that she can quit her job (with 5 kids 4 years apart, makes sense or she'd go nuts), to fund her own kids' college funds with it, and to take some vacations with it (she is not a WDW nut like me, so I've encouraged her to do some WDW trips in our memory).

My husband wants to make some changes and setup a trust. I am unsure exactly how that works and how easy/difficult it would be for my sis to get some of the money to spend on just 'everyday' things that cost more with 5 kids as opposed to 3...like vacations, bigger vehicles when it's time to buy a new car. I think how it'll end up is that SOME of it will go into a trust...and some of it will go directly to her. Like I said, I have no desire for either of my kids to get $250,000 handed over to them when they turn 21 or 25 or whatever...Especially since I won't be around to make sure they are responsible enough to handle it and not just piss it away.

Any advice on a trust??

We set ours up with a trustee who will control the assets until our kids turn a certain age (our discretion). The trustee can ok money that's needed, and if there's a disagreement or the funds are substantial, the guardian, if necessary, can petition the courts for anything she or the kids need for their well being during the time before the kids get the actual money. OR if something happens to the guardian and/or the kids become adults but before they are of age to get all the money, they themselves can petition the court to get some of the money and a judge will make the decision, etc - which is how our attorney explained it to us. This way the kids get all of our assets but a responsible adult of our choosing gets to help them use it wisely until they're of an age they can do it themselves. I think it's a good system. (Hopefully I explained that correctly but if not, I'm sure someone will correct me. )

So, using this system - if, say, something happened to us and the guardian we chose needed to put an addition on to her house to accomodate caring for our children, the trustee could ok the money and/or the court could approve it if necessary. Or if one of the kids, at adult age, wanted to, say, buy a condo or home and this happened before the age they could get at the money, they could have it approved - if it was a good decision for them. OTOH, the red European sports car probably wouldn't be approved. (Which is why our attorney recommended the age, in general, that kids get complete responsiblity for money be an older age where they're most likely to be fiscally responsible with it and not blow it on the whims of youth, lol.)

Not that you shouldn't trust your sister, but a lot can happen over many years that might make matters far more complicated than they are now, such as a remarriage, or a catastrophic illness (God forbid), or any number of things that can change your sister's financial picture and even where she may no longer be in control of the assets intended for your kids. You have to be the one to make sure your assets get to your kids.

Thank you for the idea of the list, btw. It's a great idea.

 

[thebeesknees]

This is a great idea. I have talked to my husband about putting a list like this toegether, but so far he hasn't. I think I will go ahead and have another chat with him about it. his sister already has a copy of our will in her safe deposit box. We could put this with it to make things easier for them.

 

[crispychicky]

That is really sweet. i wish I had a Daddy like that!!


I keep a copy of all our important stuff in a Ziploc in the freezer. I read somewhere that refrigerators/freezers are fireproof? I can't say if that is true or not?? I also figure burglars probably aren't looking through the freezer.

Don't count on it. A house near my grandparents was broken into (years ago). The thieves emptied the freezer and removed every drawer from every piece of furniture, dumped it, and turned it upside down. Don't tape stuff to the bottom of your drawers either!

My grandad's fatherly advice to everyone was "Don't put your valuables in the freezer or under drawers!"

 

[ShelsGoingToDisney]

Don't count on it. A house near my grandparents was broken into (years ago). The thieves emptied the freezer and removed every drawer from every piece of furniture, dumped it, and turned it upside down. Don't tape stuff to the bottom of your drawers either!

My grandad's fatherly advice to everyone was "Don't put your valuables in the freezer or under drawers!"

Never felt it was 100% safe in the freezer just figured it is better than a file cabinet or something. If they are going to find it in the freezer they are going to find it in another part of the house too. Only option is safe deposit box and I don't have the riches to to hide that would make that worth it!