Grandmere's Monday Update:
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1. Maurice Greene, 100M sprinter, had G.O.A.T. tattooed on his arm, i.e. Greatest Of All Time. Maybe he should have looked at it in the mirror, T.A.O.G., i.e. Third At Olympic Games? Shouldnt that have been a premonition? Also, didnt anyone tell him that goats were sacrificed at Grecian altars for many millennia? Conceivably there were no scholars of ancient history at the tattoo parlor.
2. The US softball team has a 46-0 streak in runs scored against opponents. Watching it on TV is still painful. First, there is just no way to give softball charisma on its sporting value alone, so maybe they should just shoot for sexy and try the beach volleyball uniforms? With them, theyd surely get airtime better than their current 2:35-2:42 AM slot on Bravo. Second, have you seen that windmill pitching style? My rotator cuffs ache just watching it. Its like when Michael Phelps warms up on deck by swinging his arms every which way, I clutch my shoulders on the couch and say ouch, ouch, young man, are you made of elastic, your elbows just banged together behind your head?
3. So what exactly do you do in Athens once your events are over? Cocktails at the Olympic village? Meet up with those Romanian gymnasts with the perky behinds? Check out the skeet shooting semifinals? Get covered in dust? Dare each other to eat grape leaves stuffed with unidentifiable meat byproduct?
4. Speaking of skeet shooting, did you all see Matt Emmons, a gold-medal contender in the 50-meter rifle event? All he needed to do was hit the target on his last shot for gold. And he did hit a target, but unfortunately, it was the one in the next lane. Which, incidentally, WAS the one he was aiming for, as he forgot to check his own lane number (2) against the target number (2), displayed quite prominently, and he fired away merrily at target (3). His score of 0 knocked him out of the medals. To prolong his glory, he did provide this avidly insightful quote at the following press conference: I probably should have [looked at the number]. I will from now on. My New Jersey state pride: Matt is a proud resident of Browns Mills, an industrial town in eastern Burlington County best known for absolutely nothing at any point in recorded history.
