My DF and I had another argument.....

[shortbun]

I didn't post on your thread about the mother taking your things but I was astounded. I think the other stuff is pretty small potatoes. Be happy. You're getting married to a guy who is not afraid to tell his mother to step off. I think his dryer technique is a good one! I HATE to IRON!!!! You should find a way to laugh over this right away. The two of you are a team. Having to re-dry the clothes is very, very small. My life is full of those issues and I don't think I see them anymore. Things undone or done the 'wrong' way everywhere. I love and cherish my husband. He's steady, reliable, dependable, honest, moral, kind, a great dad, handsome...so what if he is HORRIble at folding towels?!?!?! lol! Don't critisize too much or you'll be left with these chores all on your own because YOU do them the RIghtWAY. HMMMMMM.

 

[sajetto]

. Wait until you are both in a calm mood, and then try to talk about it calmly... he may be more willing to change to make it right! Gosh, I really need to take my own advice...

Laura

I'm the same way. It seems that I can give advice, but don't know how to take my own. I need the DIS to have people tell me what to do. Otherwise, I can't figure it out myself even though its so simple.

 

[sajetto]

Oh, honey, you're just stressed. This is a stupid argument. Go buy that man a big ol' bottle of Downy wrinkle release and let him squirt to his heart's content.

I'm definitely going to buy some and bring it to him while we are at lunch. That way he can laugh about it and we can forget about what a jerk I was this morning.

 

[laurajetter]

I'm definitely going to buy some and bring it to him while we are at lunch. That way he can laugh about it and we can forget about what a jerk I was this morning.

Aw, that'd be so sweet of you! I'm sure he get a chuckle from it. Have a great day!

Laura

 

[Arielle22]

OP, it sounds like normal fighting to me. Be glad your man does laundry. That was one of our earlier fights (we've been married 20 yrs). Our compromise is he carries it up and down the stairs and puts it away. I do the actual washing/drying.

DH and I had to buy a dishwasher after about 4 yrs of marriage. We constantly fought about who's turn it was. We decided it was easier to buy a dishwasher then explaining why we got divorced over dirty dishes.

We found there is a middle ground on every issue. It doesn't have to make you both happy, just something that you can live with.

 

[RUDisney]

Our fight was about toothpaste. He's a middle squeezer. Drove me nuts.

We compromised by having two tubes. Now he uses the colgate or crest plastic containers so it wouldn't be an issue, but now I have sensitive teeth, so I use sensodyne anyway.

 

[Keli]

This is OT but I've got to tell you that your df isn't alone in leaving his clothes in the dryer for hours and then using it as his iron. My dd does this ALL THE TIME.

I hate wrinkled clothes and I don't think the dryer does all that well as an iron so often I'm telling dd "Just give me your shirt for 2 minutes, I'll be right back". And then I iron it while she stands, half dressed, next to the door, tapping her foot and saying "It is fine mom, you're being the 'iron nazi' today!" But she must agree that her clothes look better after I iron them because she usually doesn't say no, lol.

 

[laurajetter]

Finally, I suggest that you and hubby find some time to go out on a date, just to forget about life for a while and all the stressful things that have been going on. Both of you should completely put out of your minds everything that has been going on lately, and hold no grudges! Just give yourselves time to enjoy each other's company and have some fun.

Oops... just realized you haven't had your wedding yet! Sorry!

 

[MBeds]

I just finished up my lunch and remembered this thread...
To the OP: I hope you had a very nice lunch and that you feel a lot better now...

 

[SDFgirl]

This thread is too funny because it makes me realize how silly some of my fights are!

I'm like you, I never fought with my DH until about a month ago (we just got married in December). I guess after about 5 months the honeymoon phase wore off and we started bickering! Over totally stupid stuff like you guys - he would snap at me for not putting the thermostat cover down or leaving my makeup on the sink, I snip at him for throwing his dirty clothes on the floor.

Like you, I also have a hard time changing my mood when I just "want" to me mad!! What always helps me forgive and forget faster is remembering a time when he was extra sweet to me. It always melts my heart and makes me remember why I love him so.

Don't worry too much about the bickering - things will even out soon. You two are going through a lot of changes and it always takes time to adjust. I think taking the wrinkle relase stuff is a really cute idea - you can laugh over how silly you both were. Good luck with your new house and the wedding planning!

 

[dmslush]

Moving in with one another is very difficult. It is hard to get used to one another's little quirks. SO and I have been together for 10 years and some of the stuff that he does used to just kill me!! He would leave his boots in the middle of the floor everyday. I could count on it, I would come through, those dang boots would be in the middle of the floor. Then, one day while at work, he fell off of a building. It didn't kill him, but it banged him up pretty bad. On that day I made the decision that if he had died that day, I wouldn't have cared how many times his boots had been left in the floor. I wouldn't have set at his funeral seething because he had left his boots in the floor 324 times. I would have been devestated because he was gone.

So, when he does little quirky things that maybe irritate me, but don't harm anything, I think back to the day that he fell off of the building and I am thankful that he is stil here to do those little things. In the morning, when your DF puts wrinkle releaser on his pants, and then he puts them in the dryer, grab him and kiss him all over and tell him how glad that you are that he is with you forever!... and then tell him to keep his paws off of the sheets, you will wash and dry them.

 

[sajetto]

I just finished up my lunch and remembered this thread...
To the OP: I hope you had a very nice lunch and that you feel a lot better now...

I did! I took him the bottle of Downy and we talked about how silly it was over lunch. We also went a little bit more in to depth about what happened over the weekend with the MIL. He said that he has been really stressed over that and its really gotten to me too.

Her new excuse is that she assumed it was "payment" for helping us move

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I think your stressed, and your nerves are shot because of your MIL. I think all couples go through times of intense crankiness! My DH and I fight over the stupidest stuff when we're stressed out about things. Have a great lunch with your BF, and try to talk it out later when you're all settled in your house and you've dealt with your MIL. Schedule a date night - sounds like you both could really use a nice night out and some alone time!

 

[RadioFanatic]

Her new excuse is that she assumed it was "payment" for helping us move

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! Doesn't she even see that she is making no sense, going from not having it, to thinking you were throwing it out to now it being payment - what a kook. I feel so bad for your DF (who looks like a cutie in the picture) and you.

 

[princess pooh]

DH and I had some nasty, stupid fights when we first moved in together and again before the wedding. My brother is a psychologist and he warned me that it might happen and that it's very common. Things got much calmer after the wedding...until we started house hunting (I'm sorry but there's no way I'm living within walking distance of my MIL!).

I'm glad that you're already laughing about the fight

 

[beckmrk04]

I think your stressed, and your nerves are shot because of your MIL. I think all couples go through times of intense crankiness! My DH and I fight over the stupidest stuff when we're stressed out about things. Have a great lunch with your BF, and try to talk it out later when you're all settled in your house and you've dealt with your MIL. Schedule a date night - sounds like you both could really use a nice night out and some alone time!

I totally agree- times of intense crankiness come and go, just likes waves of stress or problems in our life.

The BEST advice is talk, talk, talk. Beat that dead horse. (j/k). Seriously, though- most stupid fights usually have some other underlying cause. I'm bad at picking little fights when I'm mad or stressed about something else; once dh and I air whatever it is that's got us mad/stressed and hash it all out, though, we ALWAYS feel so much better, and it usually just boils down to communication.

I'm glad you two talked and had a good lunch! This is just one of the many annoying things your dh will do (and you will have an array of things you do that annoy him)- but you know your love is bigger than all of those annoying habits!

 

[sajetto]

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! Doesn't she even see that she is making no sense, going from not having it, to thinking you were throwing it out to now it being payment - what a kook. I feel so bad for your DF (who looks like a cutie in the picture) and you.

Yeah I know If I was going to pay someone with nearly $1,000 worth of merchandise I'd get a whole crew of movers not a woman in her 50s who can only move boxes that are 20lbs or less.

 

[diznygirl]

I did! I took him the bottle of Downy and we talked about how silly it was over lunch. We also went a little bit more in to depth about what happened over the weekend with the MIL. He said that he has been really stressed over that and its really gotten to me too.

Her new excuse is that she assumed it was "payment" for helping us move

Glad you and DF were able to patch things up.

Now, as for your MIL - you need to go find the biggest ugliest granny panties and bra and present them to her "for services rendered!"

 

[sajetto]

DH and I had some nasty, stupid fights when we first moved in together and again before the wedding. My brother is a psychologist and he warned me that it might happen and that it's very common. Things got much calmer after the wedding...until we started house hunting (I'm sorry but there's no way I'm living within walking distance of my MIL!).

I'm glad that you're already laughing about the fight

Lord, I hope things get calmer around here. We've already had so many life changes I don't know how much more we can take! First we got engaged on New Year's, then I started grad school a week later, then we looked constantly for houses, bought this house, started moving, and this is all while planning a wedding. Things had better cool off around here after that wedding or I'm going to go nuts

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

Hang in there. Things really will get better. I'm sending a little pixie dust to jump start things for you.