My daughter's letter to Disney **Response Post #23

[Fairy Mom]

Hello Everyone,

For my daughter's school project (she's in 6th grade), she had to write a role model in Sept. My daughter choose Eisner. She wrote a letter including questions to Eisner. And she also drew him disney pictures that she drew 3-4 times and colored them to make sure that they were perfect.

I personally never expected a reply. But today, we received a letter. Unfortunately, it is about how Bob Iger is now in charge and the history involving this change of command.

She is now crying because Eisner never answered her questions and no one thanked her for the pictures that she made. I don't know what to say to her to make her feel better. Just a little disappointed. The project was to thanks their role model and ask them a few questions. Now she feels like the project was a huge waste of her time. She keeps crying about the hard work that she put into the pictures.

 

[bratmomma]

I am so sorry your daughter is disappointed.

Perhaps you could call Disney and ask them if there is anyway they can forward the letter and pictures, or return it to you and give you a forwarding address for Mr Eisner? I am not even sure WHO in the Disney organization you could call, but maybe there is a way for her letter and pictures to make it to their original destination.

Good luck.

 

[woodkins]

Eisner hasn't worked for Disney since 2005. I would explain to her that you sent the questions to Disney and since he hasn't worked there in 4 years he wasn't there to answer them & that is why they took the time to write back and tell her about the new people in charge. I think it was nice that they answered her, this way she will know that he is no longer there and she can continue her search for him.
I would google him and find out his current place of employment and send any questions there.

 

[allison443]

I'm confused why you sent the letter to Disney since Eisner doesn't work there anymore...did your dd think he still worked there?
I'm curious since I don't know much about the corporate side of disney-what is about Eisner that makes him your dd's role model?

I'm sorry she's so upset about it-it sounds like she worked hard on it!

 

[Schmeck]

Your 6th grader (11-12 years old, right?) just learned a lot from her experience. Now she'll check to make sure she's sending to the correct person, knows that a large corporation tends to be very impersonal, and that even if she does something that she thinks is worth the time and effort, not everyone will respond in the way she anticipated.

There are kids in high school (and even in college) who haven't learned these lessons yet. Hopefully your daughter will get over her disappointment soon, and grow from this experience.

 

[peekinglemer]

Your 6th grader (11-12 years old, right?) just learned a lot from her experience. Now she'll check to make sure she's sending to the correct person, knows that a large corporation tends to be very impersonal, and that even if she does something that she thinks is worth the time and effort, not everyone will respond in the way she anticipated.

There are kids in high school (and even in college) who haven't learned these lessons yet. Hopefully your daughter will get over her disappointment soon, and grow from this experience.

Yes, I agree 100%, and these are important lessons to learn. However...when your dc is upset and crying all that logic goes out the window and you just want to chew the arm off of the person who made them cry. Rational? Heck no. But who said mama bear had to be rational!

 

[misskate]

I agree with google-ing him and seeing if you can find a forwarding address. That's really sweet of your daughter to do! I remember once in middle school we had to write a letter to our favorite author and a friend of mine picked Louisa May Alcott. That's a hard lesson to learn. I hope your daughter can remember that really and truly it's the thought that counts and I'm sure Eisner would have been flattered with her letter and pictures. Give her a big hug from all of us Disers!

 

[BelleWDW]

Isnt it a tad unrealistic to expect ANY head of ANY large corporation to answer a letter from a random schoolchild?

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Isnt it a tad unrealistic to expect ANY head of ANY large corporation to answer a letter from a random schoolchild?

Probably. I would think a company like Disney gets lots of letters from kids and has a policy of sending out a form letter as a reply. And I would think they still get letters for Michael Eisner since they had a form letter explaining that he no longer works for Disney. I wouldn't expect a personal reply just because of the sheer volume of letters they probably get. I'm sure it was disappointing for your DD, but it's sure to be a learning experience for her.

 

[Tiger926]

Sorry your daughter experienced this, but as a mom and a teacher, I agree there are several lessons to be learned here:

1. Proper research/preparation - As mentioned, Eisner hasn't worked there in 4 years. If Eisner is a role model for her, why wouldn't she be following his career, and know that he doesn't work there? I believe he has his own show on CNBC or MSNBC? Not sure about that, but a quick Google search would have solved that problem.

2. Corporate world - Unfortunately, again, this is a hard lesson. It's great that they wrote her back though, as I suspect some companies would have tossed the letter. Also, I think it might be a bit unrealistic to assume that all CEOs can personally respond to all letters sent to them. A good lesson for her.

3. Expectations - I totally understand how much work she put into this, but at 11 years old, she should have a better understanding of expecations and what happens when our expectations aren't met. Why is Eisner her role model? He has not been the nicest man from much of the reading I've done of him. Just curious as to what her expectations of him as a role model are, as well as what she was hoping would happen with the project? Perhaps she can work through her grief, and send him the package to his new place of employment? It sounds like she worked hard on it, so it's great that she was motivated to complete the project. Now, she should be assisted in seeing the project through to its proper conclusion. If she is feeling like it's a waste of time, again, her expectations were not entirely realistic as getting a reply from Eisner may never be possible. She needs to be taught that we don't always get what we want - I'm sure someone enjoyed seeing those pictures, but just because this wasn't communicated back to her, it doesn't mean they are worthless? There are some self-esteem issues here that may need some time to work through - she has taken this very personal, perhaps too personal for this type of project, so not sure what else you can do for her except convince her to stay motivated to properly research her role model and send the package to his proper place of employment. If she chooses not to, there isn't much you can, nor should do as she should be old enough to work through her own internal motivation in this respect.

I can totally see how she would be upset as she made a personal project, that didn't quite work out. I hope she can work through this great teachable moment, and send off her project to the proper address. Maybe she'll get a response, maybe not? But the lessons she'll learn from this, are great ones for the future, that's for sure.

Best of luck to her, Tiger

 

[Allisdad]

I really can't believe what I am reading. the OP just wanted an opinion on what to do to help her daughter. I can't believe people are telling her "welcome to the real world" on a Disney message board. First off I'm an adult (I’d like to think I'm fairly intelligent) and I didn't know Eisner was no longer there. As to why he would be her role model who cares, that’s who she chose. He was a very successful man and did accomplish many things while at Disney. I admit she lacked a lot of research, but come on she's in 6th grade. Not doing a dissertation for her doctorate. The OP even said she didn't expect a response. To say she has "self esteem issues" is ridiculous. She obviously had high expectations especially when she got a letter back. To be honest if my daughter sent a letter to a company I would totally expect something back. From the CEO of course not, from the intern in the mail room stamping CEOs signature on it sure. Would my daughter no the difference, no.
Let me ask all of you something, if you took your kid to see Mickey and while talking to him the college kid took off his costume and said "get over it" would you be ok with that. To the OP as some one else said I'm sure they have a form letter and for legal reasons do not go into any more details and the person who sent it to you probably never even saw the pictures. I think you should Google him and send him a letter. With a little note from you explaining the details. Will he personally mail you back no, but as I said before I'm sure someone will. I'm sorry to tee off on you guys, perhaps it's because I have the flu and can't sleep but gees. Can you show some compassion?

 

[JUJU814]

I really can't believe what I am reading. the OP just wanted an opinion on what to do to help her daughter. I can't believe people are telling her "welcome to the real world" on a Disney message board. First off I'm an adult (I’d like to think I'm fairly intelligent) and I didn't know Eisner was no longer there. As to why he would be her role model who cares, that’s who she chose. He was a very successful man and did accomplish many things while at Disney. I admit she lacked a lot of research, but come on she's in 6th grade. Not doing a dissertation for her doctorate. The OP even said she didn't expect a response. To say she has "self esteem issues" is ridiculous. She obviously had high expectations especially when she got a letter back. To be honest if my daughter sent a letter to a company I would totally expect something back. From the CEO of course not, from the intern in the mail room stamping CEOs signature on it sure. Would my daughter no the difference, no.
Let me ask all of you something, if you took your kid to see Mickey and while talking to him the college kid took off his costume and said "get over it" would you be ok with that. To the OP as some one else said I'm sure they have a form letter and for legal reasons do not go into any more details and the person who sent it to you probably never even saw the pictures. I think you should Google him and send him a letter. With a little note from you explaining the details. Will he personally mail you back no, but as I said before I'm sure someone will. I'm sorry to tee off on you guys, perhaps it's because I have the flu and can't sleep but gees. Can you show some compassion?

Hi! I see you're fairly new. I used to feel the same way...can't believe what I'm reading. Unfortunately, after a while, you won't be so shocked. You can't expect to post anything on this board..from the very most sensitive of topic, without being encountered with some really insensitive and sometimes downright rude replies. There's a lot of great information here and mostly great people, and there are some that just seem mean spirited. Sorry you have the flu...ick! Get better!

 

[JUJU814]

Isnt it a tad unrealistic to expect ANY head of ANY large corporation to answer a letter from a random schoolchild?

Did you read her post? She said:
I personally never expected a reply. But today, we received a letter.

 

[Tiger926]

I really can't believe what I am reading. the OP just wanted an opinion on what to do to help her daughter. I can't believe people are telling her "welcome to the real world" on a Disney message board. First off I'm an adult (I’d like to think I'm fairly intelligent) and I didn't know Eisner was no longer there. As to why he would be her role model who cares, that’s who she chose. He was a very successful man and did accomplish many things while at Disney. I admit she lacked a lot of research, but come on she's in 6th grade. Not doing a dissertation for her doctorate. The OP even said she didn't expect a response. To say she has "self esteem issues" is ridiculous. She obviously had high expectations especially when she got a letter back. To be honest if my daughter sent a letter to a company I would totally expect something back. From the CEO of course not, from the intern in the mail room stamping CEOs signature on it sure. Would my daughter no the difference, no.
Let me ask all of you something, if you took your kid to see Mickey and while talking to him the college kid took off his costume and said "get over it" would you be ok with that. To the OP as some one else said I'm sure they have a form letter and for legal reasons do not go into any more details and the person who sent it to you probably never even saw the pictures. I think you should Google him and send him a letter. With a little note from you explaining the details. Will he personally mail you back no, but as I said before I'm sure someone will. I'm sorry to tee off on you guys, perhaps it's because I have the flu and can't sleep but gees. Can you show some compassion?

So sorry you have the flu. Here's some healing pixie dust to you.

This is a classic case of several things gone wrong, some could have been planned better by the OP and her daughter, and some on the corporation's side. She did expect a reply, because if she didn't, she wouldn't be so upset by the response. If she had been better prepared about the outcome, she would have instead been happy to get any reply.

As a parent and a teacher, my job is to put fires out before they happen; therefore, many of these fires won't even start with a bit of advance planning/research, reasonable expectations and a clear idea of why that person is my role model. If those ideas don't match up, you are going to have the exact same situation that has happened to OP's daughter.

It's not being mean or uncompassionate at all, but about being realistic. Eisner is not Disney; he just happened to work there for many years. He might not care one bit about the OP's daughter's work, and this needs to be understood by the girl. It's a good lesson in how the real world works. If she doesn't understand this now, she may have some self-esteem issues when it comes to personal relationships - I have adult family/friends who are sensitive about this type of thing and they have internalized everything. They now think everything is worthless or a waste of time. These types of events will affect our self-esteem to a certain degree. I see it each and everyday in my highschool classroom. It's never about the essay, project or report card, but about how that person feels about themselves, so I always make sure to remind them that their work doesn't define who they are. Based on the OP's posts, her daughter is extremely upset about this and so it could have an affect on her future schoolwork or how she feels about herself. If the OP wasn't worried about this, she wouldn't have come on an Internet message board asking what to do. It's pretty simple: find Eisner's proper address, mail out package, talk to daughter about what she expects from her 'role model' and wait.

I taught my kids when they were babies that the characters at Disney are just actors/actresses. Why? To avoid a meltdown. They are clear on this, and now know that characters mess up, have to leave for breaks, forget to sign, etc. Do they get upset at times? Sure. But, they have reasonable expectations about what they are going to experience in that situation. They are little and understand this, so surely an 11 year old can understand this. Does it mean she can't be upset about the outcome? Absolutely not! The OP's daughter is 11 or 12, and so this will make for a very sensitive life, if she expects to always be recognized, responded back to in a personal way, etc. It sets up some very good life's lessons that are not mean-spirited at all, but just reality.

I hope that OP's daughter is able to find out Eisner's new info and send the package to him, if she so desires. I also hope that mom works with her on having a reasonable expectation of what she expects from Eisner in return. Give her a hug and assure her that the work was beautiful, but Eisner might not see it and it's nothing personal against her, but it just speaks to how busy and impersonal the world can be a times. Make sure she understands that this one event, does not define her as a person and hopefully, this will help. Perhaps also place in a scrapbook or frame it for her room? Although the response is important to her, she needs to understand that the process and product that she created is worthwhile too.

Tiger

 

[NHdisneylover]

Since you, personally never expected a reply, I hope that you conveyed to your DD as she was working so hard on the drawings that while it was comendable that she was doing so she should expect no reply at all and a form letter at best. Preparing her ahead of time may have gone a long way toward softening the blow. In the future, please remember you can really help guide her expectation level

Honestly (and I have a 12 and 10 year old--one of whom is very sensitive and cries easily so I know how it breaks your heart when they are so upset), I would hug her and tell her I know she must feel sad but that really people at Disney must get tons and tons of drawings every day and they just do not have time to respond persoanlly to everyone--it is nothing personal; it jsut is what it is.

As far as not having the answers from Eisner, I would take a bit of a tough love approach there. I would explain that it is VERY likely he would not have had the time to respond anyway--but as a 6th grader with a school project it was her responisbility to have researched and have sent the letter to the right place to begin with. Especially because this is supposed to be a role model I really cannot imagine how she did not know he retired--or what address she found to send the letter to that had his name attached but was still Disney. It took me about 30 seconds googling to find that Eisner retired in September 2006.

BTW--DD12 is home sick today. I just asked her if she knows who Micahel Eisner is. She said she thinks it is the guy who used to run Disney before the Igor or Iger or whatever guy who runs it now She knows Eisner is no longer there and she would not consider either CEO her role model Though I guess only a really Disney fanatical kid would know either mans name to begin with

I wonder if your DD is actually partly upset because she is worrying about her grade? When I taught Jr High, I would not have downgraded a student for only receiving a form letter back. I WOULD have downgraded a student for not doing proper research to find out where to send the letter to (I did downgrade a student who sent a letter to an author who had died about one hundred years before the assignment--she only had to look at the copyright in the book to know it was not possible to get an answer). I would have also (and did) downgrade a student for asking basic questions which could easily be answered by doing research (like the person's birthday, college major, etc.). I have no idea if that last applies to your DD or not--just felt I needed to add it in since i saw it a lot as a teacher (in spite of explaining clearly to the students and parents over and over again that this was not acceptable).

I hope your DD is able to get over her dissapointment and pull together something good for the school project

 

[allison443]

I really can't believe what I am reading. the OP just wanted an opinion on what to do to help her daughter. I can't believe people are telling her "welcome to the real world" on a Disney message board. First off I'm an adult (I’d like to think I'm fairly intelligent) and I didn't know Eisner was no longer there. As to why he would be her role model who cares, that’s who she chose. He was a very successful man and did accomplish many things while at Disney. I admit she lacked a lot of research, but come on she's in 6th grade. Not doing a dissertation for her doctorate. The OP even said she didn't expect a response. To say she has "self esteem issues" is ridiculous. She obviously had high expectations especially when she got a letter back. To be honest if my daughter sent a letter to a company I would totally expect something back. From the CEO of course not, from the intern in the mail room stamping CEOs signature on it sure. Would my daughter no the difference, no.
Let me ask all of you something, if you took your kid to see Mickey and while talking to him the college kid took off his costume and said "get over it" would you be ok with that. To the OP as some one else said I'm sure they have a form letter and for legal reasons do not go into any more details and the person who sent it to you probably never even saw the pictures. I think you should Google him and send him a letter. With a little note from you explaining the details. Will he personally mail you back no, but as I said before I'm sure someone will. I'm sorry to tee off on you guys, perhaps it's because I have the flu and can't sleep but gees. Can you show some compassion?

I agree with you that the sixth grader "lacked a lot of research"-I'm sure the teacher meant them to find a correct way to contact their role model. I hope the kid doesn't lose any points off her grade for this. I also don't see anything wrong with asking why Eisner is her role model-it's just a question, not a judgement. She must have had her reasons, right?

To me this is like a kid who has a professional athlete as a role model, but sent the letter to the team the athlete left four years ago, instead of sending it to the current team. Would that make sense to you? I guess I don't get why the parent wouldn't help the kid to google to find a current address, especially after saying how hard the child worked on the letter and drawings. Do you?

 

[Allison]

I really can't believe what I am reading. the OP just wanted an opinion on what to do to help her daughter. I can't believe people are telling her "welcome to the real world" on a Disney message board. First off I'm an adult (I’d like to think I'm fairly intelligent) and I didn't know Eisner was no longer there. As to why he would be her role model who cares, that’s who she chose. He was a very successful man and did accomplish many things while at Disney. I admit she lacked a lot of research, but come on she's in 6th grade. Not doing a dissertation for her doctorate. The OP even said she didn't expect a response. To say she has "self esteem issues" is ridiculous. She obviously had high expectations especially when she got a letter back. To be honest if my daughter sent a letter to a company I would totally expect something back. From the CEO of course not, from the intern in the mail room stamping CEOs signature on it sure. Would my daughter no the difference, no.
Let me ask all of you something, if you took your kid to see Mickey and while talking to him the college kid took off his costume and said "get over it" would you be ok with that. To the OP as some one else said I'm sure they have a form letter and for legal reasons do not go into any more details and the person who sent it to you probably never even saw the pictures. I think you should Google him and send him a letter. With a little note from you explaining the details. Will he personally mail you back no, but as I said before I'm sure someone will. I'm sorry to tee off on you guys, perhaps it's because I have the flu and can't sleep but gees. Can you show some compassion?

What difference does it make that this is a Disney board? Are people not supposed to offer realistic advice because of it? People are giving sound feedback and realistic advice that is well-thought out. It's a discussion board and this is a realistic discussion.

 

[crashbb]

I really can't believe what I am reading. the OP just wanted an opinion on what to do to help her daughter. I can't believe people are telling her "welcome to the real world" on a Disney message board. First off I'm an adult (I’d like to think I'm fairly intelligent) and I didn't know Eisner was no longer there. As to why he would be her role model who cares, that’s who she chose. He was a very successful man and did accomplish many things while at Disney. I admit she lacked a lot of research, but come on she's in 6th grade. Not doing a dissertation for her doctorate. The OP even said she didn't expect a response. To say she has "self esteem issues" is ridiculous. She obviously had high expectations especially when she got a letter back. To be honest if my daughter sent a letter to a company I would totally expect something back. From the CEO of course not, from the intern in the mail room stamping CEOs signature on it sure. Would my daughter no the difference, no.
Let me ask all of you something, if you took your kid to see Mickey and while talking to him the college kid took off his costume and said "get over it" would you be ok with that. To the OP as some one else said I'm sure they have a form letter and for legal reasons do not go into any more details and the person who sent it to you probably never even saw the pictures. I think you should Google him and send him a letter. With a little note from you explaining the details. Will he personally mail you back no, but as I said before I'm sure someone will. I'm sorry to tee off on you guys, perhaps it's because I have the flu and can't sleep but gees. Can you show some compassion?

But her daughter did receive a response back - about the current CEO. I'm not sure how WDW could be expected to have Eisner write back (or even fake it) when he isn't actually working there anymore.

And your analogy doesn't work. At no point was Eiser (or Iger) pretending to anything other than a man working at a corporation. There was no "unmasking".

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

In Middle School, DS had to write to colleges and business in the field he was interested in pursuing, and got catalogs and form letters. Alas, The Donald was too busy I guess to take time out to dash off a note. DS did get one two page long, hand-written super nice letter from one college (not the college president...it was probably from a work-study kid in the office), but that was the exception.

Since you, personally never expected a reply, I hope that you conveyed to your DD as she was working so hard on the drawings that while it was comendable that she was doing so she should expect no reply at all and a form letter at best. Preparing her ahead of time may have gone a long way toward softening the blow. In the future, please remember you can really help guide her expectation level

Honestly (and I have a 12 and 10 year old--one of whom is very sensitive and cries easily so I know how it breaks your heart when they are so upset), I would hug her and tell her I know she must feel sad but that really people at Disney must get tons and tons of drawings every day and they just do not have time to respond persoanlly to everyone--it is nothing personal; it jsut is what it is.

As far as not having the answers from Eisner, I would take a bit of a tough love approach there. I would explain that it is VERY likely he would not have had the time to respond anyway--but as a 6th grader with a school project it was her responisbility to have researched and have sent the letter to the right place to begin with. Especially because this is supposed to be a role model I really cannot imagine how she did not know he retired--or what address she found to send the letter to that had his name attached but was still Disney. It took me about 30 seconds googling to find that Eisner retired in September 2006.

I wonder if your DD is actually partly upset because she is worrying about her grade? When I taught Jr High, I would not have downgraded a student for only receiving a form letter back. I WOULD have downgraded a student for not doing proper research to find out where to send the letter to (I did downgrade a student who sent a letter to an author who had died about one hundred years before the assignment--she only had to look at the copyright in the book to know it was not possible to get an answer). I would have also (and did) downgrade a student for asking basic questions which could easily be answered by doing research (like the person's birthday, college major, etc.). I have no idea if that last applies to your DD or not--just felt I needed to add it in since i saw it a lot as a teacher (in spite of explaining clearly to the students and parents over and over again that this was not acceptable0

Great post; great info.

 

[Allisdad]

The point I was trying to make was the op was asking for help on how to help her daughter cope. The reason I said "a Disney board" was I figured most of us have kids and know a little how this mom felt. No I didn't expect Disney to contact Eisner and have him send a letter. If you read my post again you see I said Disney did exactly what they were supposed to do. As far as the Mickey reference I meant that she is still a young girl and believes all people are good why bust her bubble with "get over it". Sorry if I spoke out of line I just thought people were being a little unfair to this little girl. I guess I was just thinking of my little girl and how I would have reacted to posters. (See my user name). I usually keep my opinions to myself, but when I am sick I become a big grouch. To the little girl that not only knew Eisner was gone, but who the new CEO was
(My wife pointed out a little girl new more than a Notre Dame grad lol).