My brother is going to Iraq

[Mickeyistheman]

Hello Everyone,

I knew that if I came on here I would feel better and hopefully get some hugs and positive thoughts.

My brother just came home last night from his SOI training. He is a Marine Reservist. He went today to check in and he got his schedule.

He leaves next week for VA for 2 weeks of more training and then in May he will leave for 3 months of training and then in August he will leave for Iraq.

I am beside myself and I was praying that he would not have to go so soon.

I guess you are never prepared for that. I want to stay positive because I know my mother will be a mess and my grandmother (she will be devestated)

Any suggestions on how to get through this without being an emotional mess because I can get that way. I need to stay positive but I am scared for him.

Thanks Adrienne

 

[lovemygoofy]

I'm going to give you the best advice I can. If you can't handle watching the news then don't. Avoid anything that is going to be talking about Iraq. Sometimes they have good stuff but honestly it's the bad stuff that makes the news and causes people to get upset.

Next, in the last 5 years over 1million soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen have deployed to Iraq and back. Yes there have been almost 4k casualities and thousands of people injured but look at the number of people that have made it back. My husband is one of them. He is on this third tour to Iraq and so far he is as good as he can be. He has some nightmares and bad moments but so do I.

Lastly, the best thing you and your family can do for your Marine is keep it together. He needs to keep his head in the game, so to speak, and to do that you all need to have your act together. Don't have him worrying that ya'll are falling apart. Keep encouraging him and sending him mail and emails and your love. That is all you can do. There is an organization called MOMs, Mothers of Marines, but it's for all family members. Check out the website and maybe you have an organization near ya'll or you could even start a group.

There are several military family websites that are full of good information. Don't forget about here. Lots and lots of people here have had their military loved one deploy and can give you the strength you need. Please feel free to PM me at anytime if you have questions or need a boost. Bless your family and your Marine. I hope it all goes well.

 

[Stephanie218]

Just wanted to chime in. I haven't been through a deployment yet, but my husband leaves in August as well. I'm already emotional about it, but I know it's going to happen so I can't do much about it.

If you want to connect with other military families, check out forums.grunt.com It's a great site for other Marine Corps families, and has a bunch of different boards for your appropriate relationship to your Marine. It's really helped me, and I've actually made a bunch of friends in person from off the boards.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

It is scary and it does suck, do not get me wrong. My 20 year-old brother deployed last Easter Sunday and may or may not be home in March for R & R leave. I feel your anxiety from here!

You need to stay strong for him. Being an emotional mess is the last way they want to leave you or think of you. Remember that they are the ones that are doing the hard work-- some of the hardest. Be strong for him, if for no one else.

Find the ways that you need to cope. I was already in counseling when Alex deployed and am so thankful for that. However, I was put on anti-depressants because I wasn't dealing with it as well as I could have. I tend to be someone who seems fine and thinks they are fine but underneath it is just festering. I went in for irritable bowel and walked out with an anti-depressant instead. In treating the depression, he was treating the cause of the problem. My point: Know yourself and know what you need. You do not have to go through this alone. If you need professional help, seek it.

You can't play the what if game either. He is going over there, doing his job, and coming home just as soon as he can. There's nothing else to think about. Period.

I also stopped watching the news becuase I found that it upset me too badly. Granted, I had stopped watching the news well before it, but I avoid it at all costs these days. I don't want to know because he will tell us what is important.

They do have liberal telephone and internet access once they get over there. I can tell you that my brother and I are closer because of this experience. Truly, it is a blessing and a silver lining... and we were close when he went over there!

Keep your chin up, be strong, be supportive, and seek the help you need. And it is OK to cry and be upset and unhappy, don't get me wrong! But as long as you know that's what you need to get it out, go for it! I have also found a lot of comfort in prayer.

Recognize, too, that a lot can happen at home and there is little or nothing that can be done about it. Our grandfather died a month and a day ago. We sent several Red Cross messages. Alex didn't find out until he was able to call two weeks later (he was moving bases and had no internet or phone).

Lastly, you might want to come up with answers for the questions you seem to get when a loved one in the military is deployed. It keeps them from unsettling you. People don't mean to do it and they're not trying to be rude, but they really just don't get it. My favorite when my husband was deployed: Do you miss him? My answer: No! Not at all! (What do you think, idiot?! tone). Being prepared for the questions keeps them from getting you into an emotional mess there and then... you can save that for private a bit later, if needed.

You'll be fine, your mother and grandmother will be fine. More importantly, he will be fine. This is what they're trained for.

xoxo!!!!!

 

[jsmith]

Dont let what you hear make you more worried than you need to be-yes Iraq is dangerous-but-dont be manipulated by the media-50,000 people a year die in car accidents-but you get in a car every day-you cant live in constant fear. Its not fun by any means-but you get thru it-and come out the other side stronger. Dont be ashamed of the way you feel-its normal-but live your life, dont look for trouble and think positively. Support him with letters and love-and it will make you feel better-and 7 months will go by pretty fast-not as fast as you would like-but he'll go-do his job-and be home before you know it.

 

[Database]

Hello Everyone,

I knew that if I came on here I would feel better and hopefully get some hugs and positive thoughts.

My brother just came home last night from his SOI training. He is a Marine Reservist. He went today to check in and he got his schedule.

He leaves next week for VA for 2 weeks of more training and then in May he will leave for 3 months of training and then in August he will leave for Iraq.

I am beside myself and I was praying that he would not have to go so soon.

I guess you are never prepared for that. I want to stay positive because I know my mother will be a mess and my grandmother (she will be devestated)

Any suggestions on how to get through this without being an emotional mess because I can get that way. I need to stay positive but I am scared for him.

Thanks Adrienne

Adrienne,

I'm in your neck of the woods. PM me if you need some assistance a finding military network that supports family members.

No one is every prepared. Prayer is what kept and keeps most of us going.

I'd like to recommend Psalm 91. Although it is the "soldiers" prayer, it applies just fine to marines! Pray it every day. Put your brother's name in the appropriate places. Know and just that the Lord has him in his hand, and that He will command his angles concerning your brother to protect him.

D.B.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

I first want to Thank Everyone for such encouraging thoughts!

I came into work today and felt really good to read these. I am better today, I think it was just the initail shock of it all and it just happened so fast. He is a Reservist so I think that is why I was so surprised.

The news and even certain movies I know will upset me so I will choose not to watch them.

I will try and find things to keep me occupied and think of him in a positive way. I had just joined Gold's Gym for myself and just wanted to stay healthy. But now I am going to go for my brother so that when he comes home he will see how hard I worked at keeping healthy and I think that is something postive to do for my own sanity as well.

I really can't say Thank you Enough and I will check out those websites and pass them along to my family as well. Will keep everyone posted and I hope you all will do the same.

My thoughts and prayers will be with your loved ones over there as well.

Adrienne