My brother is being walked all over!

[MosMom]

Okay, my brother is 20 and is inexperienced in the world of women. He is living on his own in VA and has a live-in girlfriend. They've broken up as she says she wants to date other guys at college but she wants to still live with him. They agreed on $400 a month for rent/bills (chump change when living in the DC area as many of you probably know) and also agreed that he would get the parking spot as he paid the most of everything and she would not have strangers in the apartment.

Well, he was on business in LA and called home to find a stranger answering with several other voices in the background. She was having a party while he was out of town. She had a guy she met on the internet stay over for the weekend as well. They've been broken up for only a month or so and this guy is already staying over? They were also drinking together (she is underage) and my brother is the lease holder. She took his I-Pass out of his car without telling him and he didn't know until he went to go through the toll booth and had to back down the ramp because he didn't have cash. She parks in his spot all the time and eats his food still.

Would you not be kicking her out? He said they made an agreement when she moved out that if they broke up he would let her stay with reasonable rent. First of all, $400 isn't reasonable and if she can't follow the agreement he shouldn't have to either. I think he is still in love with her though and hopes they will get back together. I doubt that is going to happen though...she seems to be quite done with him, at least romantically.

OH and my dad calls out there to talk to my brother and she yells from the background "Oh tell him to p*ss off!" and my brother just told her to "SHH". My parents have been nothing but nice to her in their 2 year relationship. So my mom calls and leaves a message saying "I'll be out there Tuesday...WITH MOVING BOXES". Hehehe She went on to say something in the background about how he wasn't supposed to tell his family they had broken up. My dad said "Of course she wants me to bug off and didn't want us to know...then she would risk losing her meal ticket."

He just doesn't see the seriousness of the situation...especially with the drinking in his apartment when she is underage. Most everything in that apartment is his and he is concerned about things eventually turning up missing with strangers wandering in and out.

WHEW! That was a mouthful! Can you tell I needed to vent? I decided to just sit back and avoid the subject with him. I don't want him to turn away from me when I know he needs support. I guess he'll have to learn this hard lesson on his own.

I just want to THROTTLE her though.

 

[Keli]

This is one of the hardest situations in the world to handle. Letting loved ones learn lessons the hard way. Uggghhh, I hate it when it happens but since your parents have already spoken to him about their feelings and he's still letting her live there I gotta believe that's what he wants and you wouldn't be able to change his mind anyway. I'd just be there for him and gently encourage him to do the right thing without being pushy whenever the opportunity arose.

 

[JasonLyons]

when a man loves a women, she could make a fool out of him, and he will be the last to know, I love that song

 

[nativetxn]

You can always come here and vent to us. I know exactly how you feel. My brother and his wife decided to divorce and he allowed her to continue living in the house and paying NOTHING. It frustrated me so much, but I couldn't do anything about it.

{{{HUGS}}} sweetie, as painful as it is, we have to let our brothers learn their own lessons

 

[Kallison]

Just make sure he doesn't have any of the family heirlooms. I think everyone needs to learn the hard way about that first person they never should have dated.