My boss won't leave me alone!!! (Sorry, got long)

[lapinluv]

Okay, my boss is psychotic. Seriously. My co-workers and I think she is some sort of sociopath. She has no idea (or acts like she doesn't) that what she says and does is hurtful and uncalled for. We've caught her in lies about the littles things. (For example, she told one colleague she arrived some place by train, another by car and me by plane). I've been back and forth with HR for more than a year about her and while they agree with me, nothing has really been done.

But, that's not the point. Part of her problem is that she sees herself as everyone's "best friend." You can't get past her office without having to give a dissertation on what you did the night before and she asks a million prying questions and then gives a ton of unsolicited advice. If you don't answer or try to give one word answers, she thinks you're "moody" and "unfriendly" and your reviews/raises/bonuses reflect that.

So, since I've been on disability (1 week, 1 day), she's called me three times, just to "chat" about personal things, sent me a get well card with a four page personal letter in it and today (well, yesterday, but I just picked up the mail today), I got a copy of our company calendar. In our last chat, she was talking about how much she liked this month's picture and I absentmindedly agreed (yessing her has become my specilaity), so she sent me the calendar with a note saying, "I didn't want you to miss your favorite month!"

AAAARRRGGGHHHH! Even on disability, I can't get away from this woman!

 

[bettyann29]

I sorta know the feeling.. I used to work with a girl that was this way... I was an assistant supervisor and she worked under me.. She felt that everyone had to be her "friend" and if a morning didnt go by that I didnt pay "special" attention to her and chat everyday then she would complain to me to my supervisor.. She did this with all the asst supervisors.. I personally believe that I was there to do my job, not be best friends with everyone there.. I sure was glad to leave that place and her.. I really am sorry that you have to deal with someone like that.. It is hard because she is your boss and she has a direct effect on your raises, promotions.. etc... Sorry I dont have any advice, but just wanted to know you are not the only one out there..

 

[delilah]

Unfortunately, our office manager is like that, in some ways, worse. One day, I complained that I was on call from Friday until the next Monday (4 days in a row). When we are on call, we get Mon pm off, and I was supposed to be taking overnight call. I had called, emailed and written to the person who does the call schedule three months in advance, and, they didn't correct the problem. So, I complained again, in person. My office manager took me aside, and told me how awful it was to complain, and that she was such a wonderful person, with a great personality, that she never would lose her patience with a coworker, let alone embarrass them in public.

That very same morning, I didn't have time to drive 15 minutes from one office to the other, before she had scolded and driven to tears the nurse who was supposed to be working with me that day, because she had worn jeans on nurses day with the special t-shirt we had given her. The office manager told the nurses they could wear jeans, but, forgot to specify white jeans! This discussion had taken place in the nursing station, in full view of all the nurses and doctors who were there.

Then there was the clerk incident. One of our clerks decided to quit working at our office to act as a teaching aide at her childs school. Would you believe that this office manager suddenly decided that the clerks outfit was inappropriate, even though she had worn the same outfit before, and told her so in the front office area, once again, in full view of all the workers in the area. Needless to say, the clerk left without even leaving the key. She still sees the rest of us (she is my patient), but won't come to the office when the office manager is there.

 

[epcotfan]

I sort of know what you mean. I met a lady at night class and she wouldn't leave me alone. She mailed me cross stitched stuff and called me all the time. She was nice and all, but I stared to feel like I was being stalked. I ended up having to withdraw from a class because she was driving me nuts. Sucks because I really thought I would like the class

 

[ericamanda01]

I have your solution at home: CALLER ID!

 

[browneyes]

She sounds lonely. Seems like the only way she knows how to talk to people is to bully them.

Maybe the HR department can help figure out a way for her to deal with her lacking people skills. Perhaps they've talked to her about it before and she thinks the envasive personal questions is how to interact?

Good luck!