My 9 yr old wants to shave - advice please!

[luvmy3]

I mean, it definitely is noticeable.

I am afraid that if we give in to this and dont teach her to stand up for herself, what will it be next time? Will someone make fun of her cause she is not smoking a cigarette? Or because she is not doing drugs or having sex?

I don't see letting her shave her legs as giving in, its about taking care of yourself, just like combing your hair and brushing your teeth. So don't look at it like you are giving into "peer pressure" look at it like, your dd is growing up and this is just part of the very normal process ( I mean of taking care of our body and appearance)

 

[Sarah <3 Disney]

I don't see letting her shave her legs as giving in, its about taking care of yourself, just like combing your hair and brushing your teeth. So don't look at it like you are giving into "peer pressure" look at it like, your dd is growing up and this is just part of the very normal process

Totally agree. You are helping her feel the best about herself that she can be. Having confidence in herself is what will help her avoid those nastier situations later on in life, like smoking and what not.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I mean, it definitely is noticeable.

I am afraid that if we give in to this and dont teach her to stand up for herself, what will it be next time? Will someone make fun of her cause she is not smoking a cigarette? Or because she is not doing drugs or having sex?[/QUOTE

I see where you're going, but I don't think it's the same thing. Unless it's your intension to not shave ever? Ask yourself this: If she needed deodorant would you say she had to wait for a certain age? If she starts to develop early and NEEDS a bra, would you wait for a predetermined age? To me these are all the same. It's not about her peers pressuring her, IMHO.

FYI, my dd was worn a bra every day since she was 5. Not anything with padding or anything but more of a sports bra. She feels very uncomfortable without one and I have never seen a reason to force her not to. Why make an issue out of something when you don't have to??

 

[DVCLiz]

I mean, it definitely is noticeable.

I am afraid that if we give in to this and dont teach her to stand up for herself, what will it be next time? Will someone make fun of her cause she is not smoking a cigarette? Or because she is not doing drugs or having sex?

snowwhite, this is a grooming issue and every preteen will go through with it. Letting your child shave her legs has NOTHING to do with whether or not she will smoke, take drugs or have sex when she is older.

And to save you some time in the future, the time to start letting her wear a bra is also when she feels self-conscious, not when you think she has reached the "right" age.

 

[Christine]

I am afraid that if we give in to this and dont teach her to stand up for herself, what will it be next time? Will someone make fun of her cause she is not smoking a cigarette? Or because she is not doing drugs or having sex?

I understand what you are saying but this issue is about the hair on her legs. It is not an issue regarding a habit or a behavior such as smoking, drugs, a cell phone, designer clothes, having the "right" shoes, etc. It is about hair growth in a society where body hair is frowned upon. I know what you mean and I don't necessarily agree with this cueball hairlessness that we've seemed to embrace as a society, but it is that way and it becomes important to young girls.

When I was that age, that aspect of grooming wasn't even really looked at until it got REALLY bad, but things have changed.

 

[laurie31]

I mean, it definitely is noticeable.

I am afraid that if we give in to this and dont teach her to stand up for herself, what will it be next time? Will someone make fun of her cause she is not smoking a cigarette? Or because she is not doing drugs or having sex?

Hairy legs on females are not considered appropriate in our society. It's not like she's being taunted to do something bad; her peers think she's "dirty", like if she didn't shave her hairy armpits, or wear deoderant. And when the day comes that she needs a bra, and she's not wearing one, believe me, she will hear about that too.

If she doesn't "keep up with it," so what? The hair will just grow back. But since it bothers her enough to ask you to shave it off, my guess is that she WILL keep up with it, though.

 

[monkeybug]

I mean, it definitely is noticeable.

I am afraid that if we give in to this and dont teach her to stand up for herself, what will it be next time? Will someone make fun of her cause she is not smoking a cigarette? Or because she is not doing drugs or having sex?

I understand your fear of peer pressure, but truthfully we all want to fit in and feel "normal", kids especially so. I think the key is fostering self confidence. I feel more confident when I feel like I look good. The last thing you want to do is damage her self esteem by not allowing her to do reasonable things to fit in, low self esteem = more likely to fall to peer pressure.
Most grown ups aren't so well adjusted that they would go to work in a skirt with out shaving! If you support her, and set clear boundaries of what is/not acceptable at certain ages, and teach her to focus on the things that make her great, you will build her self esteem and when the time comes she can tell that "friend" no more easily!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No reason really, its just that I am afraid that she wont keep up with it and her legs will end up looking like a prickly grown out forest.

She is growing up too fast and I guess I am trying to stop time. I just always hate it when I see little kids with cell phones, bras, etc (things that should be saved for girls who are much older.)

I can see everyone's point though. If it bothers her, I guess I should let her shave.

Any experiences with the Smooth Away pad? I know that would be easy for her to do and there would be no chance of nicks or cuts.

I bought my phobic dd an electric razor for men. It looks like a reg. razor and can shave the hair on legs. I think it was called a body shaver or something like that. A lot of men are shaving their bodies so there is a selection out there in the men's razors. Forget the female shavers, they suck.

We were using a men's face razor however that did not hold up and she broke it.

She is afraid of the shaver. She does use it on her armpits but will not use it for her legs.

 

[suzannen]

I agree with everyone else, shaving your legs has absolutely nothing to do with later teen behavior. My DD (now 15) started shaving when she was 11, she didn't need to before that. I got her the Schick Intuition Plus for Sensitive Skin - the one with the soap attached so there's no extra chemicals, it's much harder to cut yourself than with a regular razor and all you need is water. I definitely would not do Nair or Veet or any of those chemicals. I showed her what to do and that was it.
Meanwhile one of her close friends was very dark and hairy and her mother adamantly refused to let her shave until she was 14. The poor girl was always so embarrassed, she would never wear dresses or shorts or bathing suits and would hold her body in ways to cover herself. Now she's 15, shaving every other day, and she has so much more confidence and I'm sure that played a part in it. She happily goes to pool parties, wears pretty dresses, shorts, capris and is always smiling. I still don't understand why her mother let her hurt that way when it was such an easy fix.

Oh and my DD and a few of her friends tried the Smooth Away Pads and said they didn't work at all, it just made their legs and arms red and irritated.

 

[disneemama]

I would let her shave especially since she wants to start. She will be fine, my daughter started at 10 and did not even need any help. Girls can be brutal when it comes to leg hair and eyebrows.

 

[RUDisney]

I can't remember now if my DD was 8 or 9 when she started shaving. She definitely needed to do something about the forest on her legs. I got her an electric razor and when she was 10 or 11, she graduated to a schick intuition, with the soap surrounding the blade.

How traumatic it must be for your DD to refuse to wear shorts in hot weather because of her Mom's irrational fears. (My Mom had them, too... I just started shaving on my own, with no instruction... and one very large cut up my calf bone.)

Remember to also have a talk with your DD about grooming for her bathing suit in the summer. I always feel so badly for those girls whose parents let them go around like Miranda was in the Sex and the City movie. That's far more embarassing, IMHO, than hairy legs.

DS started waxing his unibrow when he was 11. He was afraid at first and now it's part of his 6-week haircut appts. He even plucks if strays grow in while he's waiting for his next appt. He even got an eyebrow plucker in his stocking this year.

Life's too short to let this be a battle you must win.

 

[MariDisney]

My DD started shaving when she was 9. Like many PPs I let her start when she expressed the desire to do so. She is an early developer and also had her period at 9. So, it all seemed to go together for us (wearing a grown up bra, too). I showed her how to use the razone one time and then left her to her own devices. I'd say she shaves about 3 or so times a week now (she's 10). I only know because the scent of the avacado shave gel she uses is so strong.

 

[MariDisney]

Remember to also have a talk with your DD about grooming for her bathing suit in the summer. I always feel so badly for those girls whose parents let them go around like Miranda was in the Sex and the City movie. That's far more embarassing, IMHO, than hairy legs.

THIS! This summer my DD is going to have to do something about her bikini line if she wears a regular bathing suit. We might be OK if she goes for a boyshort sort of look, which she sometimes does. I'm tossing around the idea of taking her for waxing or having her do something else. Would love some input on this. If it matters, DD is 10, but is often mistaken for a 14-15 year old (tall and developed in every way). Any experience with waxing this young? Or at all, I've never had that area waxed?

 

[clh2]

My DD started shaving around then too. Based on advice from the DIS - the Schick Intuition came highly recommended.

 

[Gigi22]

Yes to allowing your DD to start shaving. Kids today mature a lot faster than when I was young. (My DSis told me that my niece started using deodorant at around 9 or 10 as I recall). Also, may I suggest you get your DD a bottle of aloe vera gel to use as a moisturizer after shaving her legs? If you have sensitive skin, or you are just not used to shaving, it takes the sting out!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Man, girls are so mean to one another...

 

[luvmy3]

Man, girls are so mean to one another...

Not all of us

 

[DebD4T]

I mean, it definitely is noticeable.

I am afraid that if we give in to this and dont teach her to stand up for herself, what will it be next time? Will someone make fun of her cause she is not smoking a cigarette? Or because she is not doing drugs or having sex?[/QUOTE

I see where you're going, but I don't think it's the same thing. Unless it's your intension to not shave ever? Ask yourself this: If she needed deodorant would you say she had to wait for a certain age? If she starts to develop early and NEEDS a bra, would you wait for a predetermined age? To me these are all the same. It's not about her peers pressuring her, IMHO.

I was thinking exactly the same thing.

DD#1 has olive skin and dark hair. I can't remember when she started shaving, but I do remember that I got her a razor the minute she asked for one. Pre-teens have enough to deal with, being self conscious about hairy legs is not something I wanted to add to her life.

DD#2 is fair skinned and light haired. She is 11 and hasn't said anything yet. The minute she does, I will give her a razor also.

 

[Angelhalo]

If it is bothering her, then it is time. Why do parents have such a hard time giving in when it comes to shaving? I am not being snarky, I just don't understand because I am not a parent. I think I started at around 10. I never had any help or advice from my parents nor did they have anything against it. I came home from school and told them my legs were too hairy and I felt bad about it and my mom handed me a razor and a can of shaving cream. It wasn't a big embarrassing production and I have been shaving ever since. I guess I just don't understand why it is such a big deal Again not trying to be mean or snarky...I just don't get it.

 

[ReneeA]

My DD is 6 and very, very fair (see below) with really thick dark hair on her legs. Unfortunately, she takes after DH's side of the family when it comes to body hair, while DS8 takes after my side - the hairless wonders.

She's already started asking me about her leg hair - not asking to shave yet, but wondering why she's got hairy legs and I don't. I have no problem with teaching her to shave when she tells me it bothers her. I just hope we make it to 9 years old.