My 11 year old son is very moody

[deelam]

I don't know what to do with him. He has been very moody and gets angry over nothing. I was all ready to find a therapist when I friend said that maybe it's the start of puberty. I am from a family of girls, and so is my friend. Do boys get moody when they get around 11 or 12. there are times when he is as sweet as can be and then there are the moody times. Should I get him to a doctor or is this normal? I'm really starting to think my son is emotionly disturbed. He new behavoir started about 3 months ago.

 

[flipturngirl]

It might be a little to young for him to be starting.. but I am from a family of girls too.. So I am not sure. But maybe he is startng to change... This happens a lot.. do not worry.

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

My 10 year old is the same way. He'll be all sweet and nice one minute. Then he's a hormonal bossy pain in the rear the next. We've had tears over some of the strangest stuff the last few weeks, not a clue what's going on with him - he won't talk!

 

[darlak]

Yes, puberty hits boys hard too. Raging hormones are just as confusing for them. In fact, since boys generally mature emotionally later than girls do, it might be even more confusing for them. I have 3 girls and just one son. Puberty was harder for him (and us!) than it was for any of our girls. He's 22 now and the sweetest, most considerate of all my kids. It will get better. I think you might be jumping the gun a bit to take him to a therapist right now. Just watch him, but by all means, if he indicates that he would like to talk to someone, then do it. It might help to have his dad talk to him. He might feel more comfortable talking to a guy about what he's going through.

 

[MoniqueU]

My son was and still is slightly moody,but just every once in awhile. It comes on so quick and out of the blue and then goes away just as fast. I think it is just a hormonal guy thing.

 

[shortbun]

Oh yeah, 11 is just right for that kind of behavior. Mine will be 12 in July and all his friends are going through some kind of behavioral issues at home. Luckily, they are maturing nicely outside their homes so we are trying to calmly deal. They need a safe place to let their hair down and vent. Keep explaining that you're not the doormat but that you understand their frustration with life. I actually take my son out for generic car rides and we can talk about 'things' when we're not eye to eye with a little music playing. I get a lot out of him, a little at a time. I mostly listen, repeat and don't try to solve his problems unless he asks for a solution. Sometimes, I tell him I have some ideas if he'd like to hear them. If you think you need a psych referral, by all means get one but at that age, I'd try it myself first. Above all, remember you are the adult and are better at remaining calm.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Acting like a bit of a jerk is perfectly normal for pre-teens and teens. If you think it is bad around 11 or 12, just wait for 14 -16. I post this a lot, because it is one of my favorite examples...

Hi, sweetie! How was your day? WHYYYY do you ask me that EV-ERY DAY?! Because I love you and I'm interested in your life and want to know how your day was. But you KNOW I don't want to TALK to you!

He didn't need a shrink. He might have needed a good slap upside the head and would never pull that crap when dad was around. But he was just doing the typical teenage thing. He's normal now. Still a doofus, but not an obnoxious one.

They say boys start coming back to normal around 17-19 (I can vouch for that) and they say girls come back around 25 (we'll see.)

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I have to be thoughtful about what I say to DS13. He used to be such a delightful kid. Now, I wouldn't use those words to describe him.

 

[Mamu]

11, 12. 13 pick an age, pick a mood.

Try sitting and talking with him. Sometimes theirs more going on the just moods. Some pre-teens are open about their moods and themselves, other close themself off. It's important to keep the lines of communication open even it your the only one communicating.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I post this a lot, because it is one of my favorite examples...

Hi, sweetie! How was your day? WHYYYY do you ask me that EV-ERY DAY?! Because I love you and I'm interested in your life and want to know how your day was. But you KNOW I don't want to TALK to you!

He didn't need a shrink. He might have needed a good slap upside the head and would never pull that crap when dad was around.

That's pretty much where my 14 year old is. I noticed a change in his mouth at 10. It's been a confusing game ever since. I grew up with two sisters. Never had a male around me do this stuff. Unfortunately, no male nearby to straighten him out. Some days seem like a battle the entire day. The answer that gets me most? "Yeah, right."

Here's an example...He just walked in the room. I said good morning. What was his response? "Don't talk to me." When does this stop??????????????

 

[MariaEllerºoº]

Oh you just described my 11 year old son!! I thought his sisters were bad when they went through this stage...he's worse!! My son is normally a very polite, considerate, well behaved little boy. Manners, always thinking of other people and never would do anything to hurt someone's feelings. His grades have gone way down and the mood swings! ouch! He was being tested in school because of his grades and his attitude got even worse!! The school pyschologist suggested me taking him in for counseling and I asked my son if he would like to see someone to talk about whatever it is that's bothering him, that I'm worried about him and he said no. I've seen a change in him for the better since the testing has been completed and since I had that talk with him. I know his sister's got like this during this same time period, but they were starting their periods and the hormones were running wild so I knew this was to be expected with them, but the school psychologist said boys will go through the same type of attitude and mood swings as girls do as well.

 

[ducklite]

Acting like a bit of a jerk is perfectly normal for pre-teens and teens. If you think it is bad around 11 or 12, just wait for 14 -16. I post this a lot, because it is one of my favorite examples...

Hi, sweetie! How was your day? WHYYYY do you ask me that EV-ERY DAY?! Because I love you and I'm interested in your life and want to know how your day was. But you KNOW I don't want to TALK to you!

He didn't need a shrink. He might have needed a good slap upside the head and would never pull that crap when dad was around. But he was just doing the typical teenage thing. He's normal now. Still a doofus, but not an obnoxious one.

They say boys start coming back to normal around 17-19 (I can vouch for that) and they say girls come back around 25 (we'll see.)

Boys get back to normal with the moodiness in that age, but they've still left their common sense in the freezer until they hit around 25 I think.

Anne

 

[MushyMushy]

I've always had problems with my DS's moods, but they were the absolute worst from about the age of 11 to, uh, when will it end???? No, not really. He's calming down with the moodiness, finally...

Just in time for my DD to go through it. It's far more difficult to handle with her because she's always been my little sweetie. I know it shouldn't, but it really hurts my feelings.

 

[Sherri]

I don't know what to do with him. He has been very moody and gets angry over nothing. I was all ready to find a therapist when I friend said that maybe it's the start of puberty. I am from a family of girls, and so is my friend. Do boys get moody when they get around 11 or 12. there are times when he is as sweet as can be and then there are the moody times. Should I get him to a doctor or is this normal? I'm really starting to think my son is emotionly disturbed. He new behavoir started about 3 months ago.

Its so funny that you should post this, my sister was just talking about the same thing with her 11 year old who has always been very good and respectful. Is your son in 5th grade? Her son is and I seem to remember my sweet little boy turning moody around that age, it doesn't last long.
I think by the time he starts middle school he will outgrow it, or adjust to the hormones.

 

[FayeW]

My son is 10.5. He's been "out of whack" for about a month. Cries over nothing. This morning, as a matter of fact, he was playing with his gamecube before school. I heard him howling and went to investigate...he was crying because his game was too hard!

My 12 year old daughter is bad enough, I don't need another hormonal pre-teen!

 

[powellrj]

Start reading the comic strip Zits. They have teenaged boys protrayed perfectly! Its funny because my DSs hate it because they see themselves in it!

http://www.arcamax.com/zits

 

[Christine]

My son is 12. He has been acting "weird" for about a year now, so I think your son is just about at that age.

My son was the sweetest kid you'd ever meet. Honestly, he was just a joy. Now, I don't really like him that much.

He has moments of sweetness (very few and far between these days). Otherwise, he's making rude comments and generally being brat. I wouldn't call it "moody" because he's not sulking or being "dark" or anything like that. He's just more obnoxious than anything else.

I'm chalking it up to puberty. Just recently, his voice seems to be deepening and now he's got a few pimples on his nose, so definitely some hormones going on there.

I think with the boys it just shows itself in a different manner than the girls. I just see more aggression vs. a girl who might get more weepy or drama queen-ish.

 

[deelam]

I got to say I feel better after reading these post. My normally sweet son is driving me a little crazy. Here is an example. Last night we went to a carnival. DS11 complained about every ride and every game he played. He kept saying they all suck, but he kept asking for money to play more. After he walked away complaining from 1 game refusing to take his second turn, I told him that due to his complaining I would not give him anymore money to play games. He looked like he was going to cry. We saw plenty of his school friends, but DS11 didn't really want to hang out with anyone. But then he was complaining that no one was at the carnival. He had an angry look on his face all night. That angry look was mostly directed at me.

When we got home he was fine and wants to go back to the carnival tonight. I can't figure it out. It seemed that he didn't have a good time at all.

 

[CF'er]

You are not alone. My DS11 is a sweet joy one minute and a pain in the butt the next. It's mostly just moody-ness and mouth-ness. I looked at him the other day... just a glance. His response, "WHAT!?!?!?!?!"". But last night he was talkative and downright human. It varies from hour to hour.
DD9 isn't far behind either I fear.

 

[binny]

oh yeah, its normal. At least from my perspective. My 12 year old ds is like that.

One minute all pleasant and light the next, sulky and sad.

I was told to keep an eye on it and if it seems really over the top to look into different ideas but for the most part these changes are normal.