Multiple Special Needs

[iveyrock]

We are planning our first trip to Disney World in February. We have six kids, three of which have special needs. When I originally booked the trip I didn't know about the DAS pass, so I wasn't counting on it, but it would help so much if we could get one.

My specific questions:

I think my daughter will qualify for a pass, but I am intimidated by describing her issues to strangers. I don't want to over explain her private issues, but I do want to set us all up to succeed at the park. She has a complicated set of circumstances, which include adoption, and I want to be mindful of what she is hearing while giving the information that is needed. How much detail have people had to give in the past?

If I can get a pass for my daughter, is there a benefit in getting one for my other two special needs kids? They will all want to go on similar rides, and their needs aren't as obvious.

We don't have our Magicbands yet, but from my understanding, I can set them up to list some of my kids' special needs, or reasons that my kids might act differently during meet and greets. Has anyone had experience with something like this? Honestly, my concern is that I don't want to give a laundry list of info - they have HIV, which would be good to note on the slim chance that they are separated from us, and then they have developmental/cognitive issues that would be useful to note for character meet and greets, etc.

Honestly, I have huge feelings about the whole thing. The kids' needs are just such a part of our life, and we spend so much time and energy mitigating them - I feel like this pass would change everything about our vacation. I also feel guilty about trying to use it, since we could survive without it.

 

[wilkeliza]

We are planning our first trip to Disney World in February. We have six kids, three of which have special needs. When I originally booked the trip I didn't know about the DAS pass, so I wasn't counting on it, but it would help so much if we could get one.

My specific questions:

I think my daughter will qualify for a pass, but I am intimidated by describing her issues to strangers. I don't want to over explain her private issues, but I do want to set us all up to succeed at the park. She has a complicated set of circumstances, which include adoption, and I want to be mindful of what she is hearing while giving the information that is needed. How much detail have people had to give in the past?

If I can get a pass for my daughter, is there a benefit in getting one for my other two special needs kids? They will all want to go on similar rides, and their needs aren't as obvious.

We don't have our Magicbands yet, but from my understanding, I can set them up to list some of my kids' special needs, or reasons that my kids might act differently during meet and greets. Has anyone had experience with something like this? Honestly, my concern is that I don't want to give a laundry list of info - they have HIV, which would be good to note on the slim chance that they are separated from us, and then they have developmental/cognitive issues that would be useful to note for character meet and greets, etc.

Honestly, I have huge feelings about the whole thing. The kids' needs are just such a part of our life, and we spend so much time and energy mitigating them - I feel like this pass would change everything about our vacation. I also feel guilty about trying to use it, since we could survive without it.

How old are your kids? Are there times one adult may take some and another adult take others? That will make the choosing to have more then one DAS different then if everyone will be going on everything together no matter what.

You only have to explain what accommodations they need and why. Nothing needs to be said about diagnosis or adoption or anything like that. If it helps you try writing what issues you feel your child might have during a long wait in a queue line and why waiting that outside the line would alleviate the problem.

You can not load special needs onto the magicbands. Your child's Das will come up on theirs but it won't say anything about their needs. For HIV to be honest in the event of an emergency CMs are trained to treat body fluids like it has something contagious in it. If it helps your peace of mind perhaps have the kids wear medial bracelets if they can. For the characters and their cognitive/decelopment abilities the performers are so use to that and trained pretty well around it that they pick up the clues on their own. Some parents like to prompt characters with a simple he is super excited to meet you but may not have the words to show it or something similar to their situation.

Don't fret your trip will be okay and everyone here is a great source to help you come up with ways to make the trip as thought out as possible.

 

[iveyrock]

Thank you!

my kids will be 12, 10 (cognitively much younger), 9, 8, 8 and 8.

My worry about the adoption aspect is more that she has only been part of our family for a year and a half, and while she has many issues, she is extremely perceptive. She was told for most of her life that she was not ok, because of her needs. I am concerned about bringing them all up in a way that singles her out, or in any way make her feel like we believe those things about her - because our bond with her is complicated and still new, compared to the rest of her life. Bluntly, she knows that people thought she was stupid and crazy, and I want to avoid anything that gives any indication that we think that about her... while still describing why she is not cognitively normal. It feels like a tricky line. I like the idea of writing it out - that could help me come up with language or tone that would be less easy for her to pick up on.

Maybe it would be best to get the other two passes too, just so she didn't feel singled out. But their English is even better.... and I don't want them to feel singled out either. Argh. Not anyone here's fault, just trying to work through this all in my head, for our particular family's needs.

Thank you for the info on the Magic Bands - that would have been nice, but I wasn't sure how to write it all up for that anyway. I agree, HIV should be a minimal issue. We've never had a problem. For the Meet and Greets, part of my concern is over stimulation, and part of it is attachment stuff... I definitely want them to get to meet their favorite characters, so it might just mean dealing with the fallout. I'll see if I can come up with a script to give the characters a subtle head's up.

My 10 year old special needs daughter LOVES Frozen... it's the only thing that she was familiar with from where she was adopted to US culture, and she adores Elsa and Anna. My other daughter with special needs Loves Lion King, and from that love has moved on to a fascination with animation and art in general. It's helped her in so many ways, from confidence to bonding with the rest of our family. Disney has been huge in our journey with these kids already, so I am so excited to do this. Just worried about making it all work!

 

[mamabunny]

Thank you!

my kids will be 12, 10 (cognitively much younger), 9, 8, 8 and 8.

My worry about the adoption aspect is more that she has only been part of our family for a year and a half, and while she has many issues, she is extremely perceptive. She was told for most of her life that she was not ok, because of her needs. I am concerned about bringing them all up in a way that singles her out, or in any way make her feel like we believe those things about her - because our bond with her is complicated and still new, compared to the rest of her life. Bluntly, she knows that people thought she was stupid and crazy, and I want to avoid anything that gives any indication that we think that about her... while still describing why she is not cognitively normal. It feels like a tricky line. I like the idea of writing it out - that could help me come up with language or tone that would be less easy for her to pick up on.

Maybe it would be best to get the other two passes too, just so she didn't feel singled out. But their English is even better.... and I don't want them to feel singled out either. Argh. Not anyone here's fault, just trying to work through this all in my head, for our particular family's needs.

Thank you for the info on the Magic Bands - that would have been nice, but I wasn't sure how to write it all up for that anyway. I agree, HIV should be a minimal issue. We've never had a problem. For the Meet and Greets, part of my concern is over stimulation, and part of it is attachment stuff... I definitely want them to get to meet their favorite characters, so it might just mean dealing with the fallout. I'll see if I can come up with a script to give the characters a subtle head's up.

My 10 year old special needs daughter LOVES Frozen... it's the only thing that she was familiar with from where she was adopted to US culture, and she adores Elsa and Anna. My other daughter with special needs Loves Lion King, and from that love has moved on to a fascination with animation and art in general. It's helped her in so many ways, from confidence to bonding with the rest of our family. Disney has been huge in our journey with these kids already, so I am so excited to do this. Just worried about making it all work!

Your kids sound like smart little cookies!

Explain to the them that you are going to talk to a Cast Member at Guest Relations about using a TOOL called a "DAS" that sometimes families like yours use at Disney. You don't have to go into detail - and you can even tell them the truth, that since we have never used this before, I'm not sure exactly how this will work.

More than likely, they will be so excited to be at Disney World that they won't care all that much about the conversation - they will be itching to get out there in the Park and start having fun!

Have a great trip!

 

[gap2368]

I would think of what kinds of things your child has problems with in line. for example do they need a place to sit in line? then write these needs down go into GR you can tell the CM that your child has some needs that you want to see if there is some type of accommodation for and that you wrote them down since your child dose not like to talk about them/or you do not want other people to hear them. saying there DX will not help the CM so you do not need to say this,

there is no way to put information on the MB it self all the DAS will do is alert the CM that your child has a DAS ( and only if you use it for that one attraction/ meet and greet and the CM at the front of the meet and greet will not know.

I would plane on not having a DAS ( I am not saying you will or will not get one) but if you do not get one then you will not have to worry about how to handle Disney with out one. if you do get one then this will just make things much more eatery for you. And there is no rule that says you have to use the DAS at all I know some family that have the DAS card and never use it on some trips

 

[TheRustyScupper]

I am intimidated by describing her issues to strangers. I don't want to over explain her private issues

1) In order to get a DAS Pass, you MUST describe the circumstances of the health issue(s), not the actual health problem name. **
2) You need top explain what happens if you don't have the DAS.
3) The Cast Member has to make a judgment that a DAS is necessary to accommodate the person.
4) They do not look at you strangely or cause you to get intimidated.
5) If you can explain the issues to you friends, you can explain it to Guest Services.
6) They have heard about all types of problems from a lot of people every day.
7) Please do not feel you are alone.

** By circumstances we mean something like, "Without a DAS, the child will ........ ".
They just need to know what happens if she has to wait in line, without having the DAS.

 

[married2mm]

Op-
I have experienced people listening in at guest services to my conversation and whilst not the end of the world by any means-it is slightly disconcerting & im simply not comfortable discussing health needs/issues out loud.
Since then -I have explained this & stated I've shared health issues on paper and handed to the cm.
There were no problems whatsoever and DAS issued.

The last few trips-we've not had to explain at all & DAS has been renewed very easily.

 

[sweetpeama]

I have not done a trip under the DAS system but did under the previous GAC system. All I did was state that my child ( a little over 2 at the time) has a tendency to fall especially when really tired ( and in extreme hot and cold weather but since we went in January while it was much warmer than at home-we left in a snow storm and came home to one so heavy we didn't know if we would be able to land at our airport or if we would have to go to another one and then drive 5 plus hours home because of the visibility) and the cast member set us up with a stroller as a wheel chair card. Now that my child is older I would add that being bumped and touched by people that are not familiar can freak my child out to the point that melt downs occur as well as at times even just the stimulation can make my child want to attempt to leave the situation and start crying but that having a quiet place to wait during those times helps. ( My family shows in livestock shows in particular rabbits and my special needs child at times will need to take a break some place where there is not a lot of people or stimulation-luckily there are some areas set up which we have a tendency not to advertise to the general public as those are places for the exhibitors to take a break as well as the parents or for younger siblings to be entertained-yes one of them even has a lot of kids movies mainly Disney)

 

[lanejudy]

I want to avoid anything that gives any indication that we think that about her... while still describing why she is not cognitively normal

You probably don't need to mention most of what you are currently thinking... no need to really "describe why she is not cognitively normal" in detail. I suggest you think about how she will handle a standard queue environment (have you been to a local amusement park or zoo or anywhere else with lines?). Think what aspects of a queue will be a challenge to her and why waiting outside the queue would alleviate that challenge. (Bear in mind that even with a DAS it's possible to wait up to 15-20 minutes.) That is all you need to mention -- not the history or diagnosis or anything else. Just focus on the challenges posed by a standard queue. As PP mentioned, you can write this out as short bullet points if that helps you. Also, the children are welcome to wait off to the side with your spouse while you chat with the CM at Guest Relations. They should be near but do not have to be close enough to listen. You can call them over to join you when needed for the picture.

Same for the other kids who may qualify for a DAS. And with a party your size, I recommend you get a DAS for any of the kids who may need it. You could very well end up splitting at times for some attractions and separate DAS will make that easier. Also, typically only a party of 6 are allowed on any 1 DAS, and while exceptions can be made it may depend on the dynamics of the attraction/vehicle. You are a party of 8 -- 6 kids and 2 parents so that should help you stay together but I can't guarantee.

Enjoy your vacation!

 

[iveyrock]

1) In order to get a DAS Pass, you MUST describe the circumstances of the health issue(s), not the actual health problem name. **
2) You need top explain what happens if you don't have the DAS.
3) The Cast Member has to make a judgment that a DAS is necessary to accommodate the person.
4) They do not look at you strangely or cause you to get intimidated.
5) If you can explain the issues to you friends, you can explain it to Guest Services.
6) They have heard about all types of problems from a lot of people every day.
7) Please do not feel you are alone.

** By circumstances we mean something like, "Without a DAS, the child will ........ ".
They just need to know what happens if she has to wait in line, without having the DAS.

I think maybe that's part of my problem, I don't talk about most of these issues with my friends, and in my experience explaining always goes horribly wrong. Every time I've tried to explain people wind up with the wrong idea.

You probably don't need to mention most of what you are currently thinking... no need to really "describe why she is not cognitively normal" in detail. I suggest you think about how she will handle a standard queue environment (have you been to a local amusement park or zoo or anywhere else with lines?). Think what aspects of a queue will be a challenge to her and why waiting outside the queue would alleviate that challenge. (Bear in mind that even with a DAS it's possible to wait up to 15-20 minutes.) That is all you need to mention -- not the history or diagnosis or anything else. Just focus on the challenges posed by a standard queue. As PP mentioned, you can write this out as short bullet points if that helps you. Also, the children are welcome to wait off to the side with your spouse while you chat with the CM at Guest Relations. They should be near but do not have to be close enough to listen. You can call them over to join you when needed for the picture.

Same for the other kids who may qualify for a DAS. And with a party your size, I recommend you get a DAS for any of the kids who may need it. You could very well end up splitting at times for some attractions and separate DAS will make that easier. Also, typically only a party of 6 are allowed on any 1 DAS, and while exceptions can be made it may depend on the dynamics of the attraction/vehicle. You are a party of 8 -- 6 kids and 2 parents so that should help you stay together but I can't guarantee.

Enjoy your vacation!

I think I'm having trouble with my granularity... I am either thinking too broad or too specific. I am not sure how to describe the kinds of things she (or they) will have trouble with, without getting detailed.

For example, would saying something like 'extremely short attention span' work? Or do I need to describe what behaviors they actually exhibit?

The kinds of things I am trying to figure out how to describe are things like - they have extremely short attention span, no impulse control, anxiety/attention seeking behavior in new situations and around new people, my one daughter will self harm, or run when overwhelmed - would saying those things be enough? Or do I need to describe what actually happens? Either way, if I can keep the kids a little further away until the picture, that would help a ton. Part of all this mess is that if they hear me talking about this, they will understand and it will affect them, but for one of my kids in particular putting the IDEA into their head is almost guaranteed to make something happen. (Again, see almost no impulse control, and attachment related attention seeking behaviors ).

Also, I forgot to ask, but my understanding is that I don't need a doctor's note - is that correct?

 

[iveyrock]

Op-
I have experienced people listening in at guest services to my conversation and whilst not the end of the world by any means-it is slightly disconcerting & im simply not comfortable discussing health needs/issues out loud.
Since then -I have explained this & stated I've shared health issues on paper and handed to the cm.
There were no problems whatsoever and DAS issued.

The last few trips-we've not had to explain at all & DAS has been renewed very easily.

Thank you!!!

 

[lanejudy]

We cannot post "scripts" here, so you're going to have to think through this. Consider what it is about a standard queue environment that might bring on the behaviors you listed. And remember the DAS will only help with attraction queues, not dining, transportation, shopping or out-and-about the parks. So be prepared with plans to prevent those behaviors which might occur not in lines, as it sounds like the parks may be quite challenging in general.

If you have time or opportunity, I suggest you take the kids (maybe one or two at a time?) to a local amusement park, zoo, county fair, sporting event, concert or any other public event that includes some waiting in lines. See how that goes. Take notes on what specific challenges were faced. Consider if waiting somewhere outside the line may help -- remembering that anywhere you wait outside the line may also have crowds, noise, "new people" and might in fact present yet another "new situation." I know that sounds kind of vague, but each individual's needs are different and you will have to explain her NEEDS as opposed to her diagnoses or behaviors.

If she will run when overwhelmed, you may want to consider a special needs stroller or wheelchair. A DAS will not help contain a runner -- in fact, bolting is likely to be more difficult in a queue than out around the parks in general. Try to make sure you take enough breaks to prevent any of the kids getting overwhelmed, as that's possible for most kids on their first visit if they try to do everything. Be prepared to cut your day short, return to the resort for a rest, or split up for an hour or so to allow a child who is near the brink some time to calm down.

Definitely the kids can be out of earshot when you first approach the Guest Relations CM. And feel free to put a few bullet points on paper, explaining that you don't want the kids to overhear much. You may still be asked a few questions but the paper can be a guide and help limit the verbal discussion. A doctor's note will not be accepted; write your own notes if you want something written.

Enjoy your vacation!

 

[lanejudy]

One thing some families have done... give the parks a try first. See what challenges you discover, and then go to Guest Relations and discuss those specifics. My family actually did this our first visit with my daughter and it made the request very easy because I could say exactly what we'd experienced. If you are having trouble overthinking it, it may help just to give it a try first.

 

[mamabunny]

I think maybe that's part of my problem, I don't talk about most of these issues with my friends, and in my experience explaining always goes horribly wrong. Every time I've tried to explain people wind up with the wrong idea.



I think I'm having trouble with my granularity... I am either thinking too broad or too specific. I am not sure how to describe the kinds of things she (or they) will have trouble with, without getting detailed.

For example, would saying something like 'extremely short attention span' work? Or do I need to describe what behaviors they actually exhibit?

The kinds of things I am trying to figure out how to describe are things like - they have extremely short attention span, no impulse control, anxiety/attention seeking behavior in new situations and around new people, my one daughter will self harm, or run when overwhelmed - would saying those things be enough? Or do I need to describe what actually happens? Either way, if I can keep the kids a little further away until the picture, that would help a ton. Part of all this mess is that if they hear me talking about this, they will understand and it will affect them, but for one of my kids in particular putting the IDEA into their head is almost guaranteed to make something happen. (Again, see almost no impulse control, and attachment related attention seeking behaviors ).

Also, I forgot to ask, but my understanding is that I don't need a doctor's note - is that correct?

@lanejudy has given you the best possible advice!

I understand how *you* are feeling - this can be so overwhelming! And your concerns are legitimate; it's obvious that you want your kiddos to have the very best possible time at WDW while accommodating their needs as best as possible. I'm a "planner" by nature, so I am like you - I want to know what to expect, and how to insure the best outcome possible for my family!

It's not true for all kids, but some get to WDW, and they are *profoundly* different there. Behaviors that are problematic at home can sometimes even disappear - especially on the first trip. I personally attribute it to the fact that they are just overwhelmed, and focused on all of this new, shiny, noisy, colorful, amazing stuff that is happening all around them. Knowing what your kids triggers are - and planning for those (headphones for noise sensitivities, etc) can make a huge difference in their enjoyment levels too. Some kids really benefit from watching YouTube "first person" or POV videos of rides, attractions and shows - they can see and hear what the ride will be like in advance, so it's not such a surprise, and not so overwhelming. Don't try to use Disney's videos - those are heartfelt and lovely, but they are NOT realistic at all. If you only watch those, you will be so surprised at how crowded everything is, and how long the lines can be for some ride and attractions!

If I were in your shoes, I would follow @lanejudy's plan; write down some bullet points about each child that will be helped by a DAS. Focus on HOW the DAS will help them in line, and don't worry about the specific diagnosis. But even before you approach Guest Relations, (unless you want to get a stroller-as-a-wheelchair tag) you could always try a few ride lines to see how it goes. If it looks like you are going to need the DAS, then drop out of line before anyone has a catastrophic reaction (sorry, that's what we would call a meltdown when I was caring for my Mom, who had stroke-related Dementia) and head back to Guest Relations. Brief your spouse/partner ahead of time ("I will talk to the Cast Member if you can keep the kids together across the room, out of earshot") so that they know what to expect.

I know it's so scary to worry about this, and it looms large on your list of "what could possibly go wrong". Take a deep breath, and re-read @lanejudy's advice about half-a-hundred times, and then go have fun with your kiddos at Disney World. (((hugs))) It's going to be OK!

 

[Missyrose]

One thing that might help you, is to have your husband wait with the three kids at GR, but out of earshot of where you're talking to the CM. That way your daughter won't overhear what you said.

 

[FaithsWish]

Could you perhaps write what accommodations she needs and why on a piece of paper and hand to the CM at Guest Relations? Let your daughter know that you are there for a resource that some families use in the parks. By writing it down, she won't need to overhear and you will have an easier time thinking it through. I get flustered when we get to the Guest Relations counter and forget stuff.

 

[gap2368]

as has been posted before I think taking your kids out where they will have to wait in line like at a zoo amusement park, out door concert. some where that there is a lot of people noise and waiting.

if you can not do this and you do not think you will be able to explain your Childs need while in line then I would go with out the DAS at first see who your children do ( some do much better then anyone thinks) if you find things are not working in line it is ok to leave the line, let your kids know that you are not angry with them that some kids/ and adults have a hard time with being in lines and that you all will go to guest relation and talk to the cast member there and that the CM might have an idea to help. tell them that they will have to wait in a line that mom ( or whom ever) will talk wit the CM and that they are to wait with Dad ( or whom ever) and they may or may not be needed letter on.

this will help you with what they need in line ( witch it sound like you are having a hard time with)

wether or not you get a DAS card make sure you take breaks thought out the day it may be finding a spot 30 -45 minute before th parade or a nice long lunch some were, or even some time at the pool. Disney can be very tiering for any one.

 

[FortForever]

One thing that might help you, is to have your husband wait with the three kids at GR, but out of earshot of where you're talking to the CM. That way your daughter won't overhear what you said.

I would have all the kids wait outside with your DH. Take all the bands inside with you. It's always a small area, and that many people would cause a traffic jam anyway. You absolutely do not have to have the child inside with you when you talk to the CM. Just go in alone, with the bands. If the CM asks to meet the child (probably would never happen) then you could bring them in, but the conversation would be over at that point anyway.

Please don't stress about it. Everything will be fine. This will be a much more simple process than you realize. They won't interrogate you or anything. They also will not look at you strangely, or be shocked or put off by anything you say. Lots of children and adults with disabilities visit every park, every day. It's a quick, easy, and friendly process.

The one thing to have in mind, prior to going in is that sometimes they will not put all the family members on more than one DAS. Meaning you would have to decide which one of your family members is more likely to be together, or go on the same rides. Have an idea how you would like to split everyone up onto the 3 separate DAS. The idea of that being is that no one person can have more than one return time at once. If a non-disabled guest were on multiple DAS accounts, conceivably they could have several return times at once.

Also, only a total of 6 people is allowed on each DAS. As with many other things at Disney, the rules about this depend on who you talk to. One CM may add all 8 people and never say a word. A different CM may make you stick to 6. I have had a CM add every member of my party to both DAS accounts, while another one, at a later date, said we couldn't have people on two DAS.

Regardless, go get your kids a DAS and do NOT feel guilty about it. You are still waiting, just like everyone else. Have a great trip!

 

[gap2368]

I would have all the kids wait outside with your DH. Take all the bands inside with you. It's always a small area, and that many people would cause a traffic jam anyway. You absolutely do not have to have the child inside with you when you talk to the CM. Just go in alone, with the bands. If the CM asks to meet the child (probably would never happen) then you could bring them in, but the conversation would be over at that point anyway.

Please don't stress about it. Everything will be fine. This will be a much more simple process than you realize. They won't interrogate you or anything. They also will not look at you strangely, or be shocked or put off by anything you say. Lots of children and adults with disabilities visit every park, every day. It's a quick, easy, and friendly process.

The one thing to have in mind, prior to going in is that sometimes they will not put all the family members on more than one DAS. Meaning you would have to decide which one of your family members is more likely to be together, or go on the same rides. Have an idea how you would like to split everyone up onto the 3 separate DAS. The idea of that being is that no one person can have more than one return time at once. If a non-disabled guest were on multiple DAS accounts, conceivably they could have several return times at once.

Also, only a total of 6 people is allowed on each DAS. As with many other things at Disney, the rules about this depend on who you talk to. One CM may add all 8 people and never say a word. A different CM may make you stick to 6. I have had a CM add every member of my party to both DAS accounts, while another one, at a later date, said we couldn't have people on two DAS.

Regardless, go get your kids a DAS and do NOT feel guilty about it. You are still waiting, just like everyone else. Have a great trip!

they will need to see the child that the DAS is for.

the whole family can be put on all the DAS card ( one das holder the one the DAS is for can not be put on the DAS card) each person can only be waiting in one DAS line at a time.

 

[FortForever]

they will need to see the child that the DAS is for.

the whole family can be put on all the DAS card ( one das holder the one the DAS is for can not be put on the DAS card) each person can only be waiting in one DAS line at a time.

Like I said, Disney is anything but consistent. It all depends on what CM you get, so best to be prepared for any situation. The child getting the DAS does not have to be present for the conversation, but can be brought in with the other parent if asked. Exactly why I said have them wait right outside, as opposed to somewhere else in the park.

I'm basing my comments on personal experience. I have personally secured a DAS for an adult son without him there. He was standing outside with the rest of the family, only because it was crowded in there, but CM never even asked for him to come in.