Multiple births due to fertility treatments

[DizBelle]

I know of a couple that already has one child that, I believe, is two years old. This child was a result of one of five embryos that were implanted. They had implanted 5 embryos before this attempt and none took.

Now, they've implanted 5 again and all 5 took. Their doctor recommended that they reduce from 5 to 2 to better the chances for healthy babies and a healthy mom. Otherwise both the babies and mom are at risk of health issues and/or death. They've decided not to reduce at all. I don't know this couple (only know "of" them) so I don't know all of the reasons for which they made this decision.

What is your opinion on this?

 

[Miller1412]

When we were undergoing infertility treatments, we had to make some hard decisions about this before we actually got pregnant. I was not doing IVF, but we were using drugs that could make multiple eggs. When we reviewed the sonograms that they were doing to determine how many eggs I had we decided that if there was a chance of high multiple births, we wouldn't try to fertilize the eggs that month. Fortunately, I just had one and she turned into my beautiful DD.

For me, it's a personal choice and I could't terminate any of them.

 

[MrsKreamer]

It seems like bad karma to me. JMO

 

[mtemm]

based on this and your other post (about donations) you seem to be very concerned about other peoples opinions on this couple. Honestly it is their business, nobody elses. deciding on whether or not to reduce is a very difficult decision that someone not going through it can possibly understand, so I won't even attempt to.

I'm not trying to be harsh, here, but I will say that if I were dealing with it I would hope that a friend (or in this case a friend of a friend, or however you know them and their situation) wasn't going on a public message board and asking people to judge my life.

 

[va32h]

If I were in the same situation, I would have been grateful for the one child I already had, and not go to those extraordinary and dangerous lengths to have more.

 

[tiggersmom2]

based on this and your other post (about donations) you seem to be very concerned about other peoples opinions on this couple. Honestly it is their business, nobody elses. deciding on whether or not to reduce is a very difficult decision that someone not going through it can possibly understand, so I won't even attempt to.

I'm not trying to be harsh, here, but I will say that if I were dealing with it I would hope that a friend (or in this case a friend of a friend, or however you know them and their situation) wasn't going on a public message board and asking people to judge my life.

Well said.

 

[CEDmom]

My opinion is that it's no one's business but their own. As someone who went through fertility I can only imagine how difficult this decision was for them. I can't say I'd have made the same one but it's impossible to know unless in that position.

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

IVF is very hard on the body. Without it I never would have had my . I had 4 embryos and we understood it meant we could have had 4 babies. DD has grown up wishing she had siblings, and I always told her how hard I prayed for her, and if it was meant to be that she had siblings, God would have given her one then. I was so thankful for being given the opportunity to be a mother, I just couldn't bring myself to ask God for more than he's already given me.

 

[justhat]

Having never been in the situation, I really can't say what I'd do. But thinking about it as someone who is pregnant with #2 right now, as much as I would know that selectively terminating some of the babies would be a safer choice, I don't think I could ever make that decision to keep some of my children and not others. I have a 2yo now and I can't imagine my life without her so I think "What if she had been one of the ones I chose to terminate?" Or now that I'm having a 2nd child I think about it in terms of choosing my daughter over my son or the other way around, which is something I just can't even imagine doing. So ultimately I imagine that I'd do the same thing as the friend of your friend, despite the health risks involved, and having a 2yo child right now also.

 

[DizBelle]

based on this and your other post (about donations) you seem to be very concerned about other peoples opinions on this couple. Honestly it is their business, nobody elses. deciding on whether or not to reduce is a very difficult decision that someone not going through it can possibly understand, so I won't even attempt to.

I'm not trying to be harsh, here, but I will say that if I were dealing with it I would hope that a friend (or in this case a friend of a friend, or however you know them and their situation) wasn't going on a public message board and asking people to judge my life.

Come on now. I'm just trying to stimulate some intellectual discussion on a topic of the age.

 

[AllyandJack]

As long as they're not asking for money, who cares how many babies they have? It's been done before.

I've had this conversation with my RE. I only have 2 embryos replaced because I'm only 29 and the embryos are always high quality. However, there is ALWAYS the chance they could split and I could have 4. What would I do? I spoke with both doctors (my RE and my OB/GYN) and they told me the risks, etc. But, I'm almost 6ft tall and I'm only 29. I'm healthy. They think I'd have a good chance at delivering 4 healthy babies. Would it be easy? No. Was IVF easy? I've spent the better part of the last 3 months either in the hospital or on bedrest, so, that would be a big no. But, I'm going back again in a few weeks to try again.

The other day I was in my RE's office and a woman came in with her triplets (from IVF). They were 18 months old and she was coming back for more!

In some countries, you can only implant one embryo, by law. I think it should be up to the doctor and the patient and nobody else. The government doesn't step in when some crack addict on welfare has baby after baby after baby, so who are they to tell me I shouldn't have quads that I can support?

 

[robinb]

I would do the selective reduction to ensure my heath and that of my babies.

 

[dadto1]

I would do the selective reduction to ensure my heath and that of my babies.

This is where my problem with IVF comes in. We speak of the health of your babies, but what about the health of the ones we "selectively reduce". Kinda like playing God in my opinion!

 

[redshoes]

Having recently gone through an IVF cycle, I can tell you what little I have learned through the process. I'm not defending or judging the couple's decisions. However, when doing an IVF cycle you go through an amazing amount of emotions and physical discomfort (especially if you have a needle phobia like myself), it is your own choice that has brought to that place but it is still hard. To even get to the point of IVF was a difficult decision for me and my DH. We have been dealing with unexplained infertility for six years now. In that time period we have had the honor to add to our family through adoption, but being "greedy" we have always dreamt of three children in our family and decided to give IVF a try in December(as our adoption agency is no longer an option). The IVF failed and we are now celebrating the fact that our family is perfect just the way it is and that this is the way it was meant to be.
In a Typical IVF cycle, the body is "tricked" into producing a ton of eggs that are then removed and fertilized. Before they are implanted into the women they are given a grade, in the case of this couple perhaps those 5 embryos were of low quality thus the decision to implant all of them. Their doctor might have suggested that due to the circumstances of their last IVF cycle and the quality of these embryos that they should implant all of them for hopes that just one would work. IVF cycles don't have a HUGE success rate for all couples. I know that in our case, our doctor would only allow three embryos at most to be implanted. But each doctor has their own proctol and the couple usually makes the final decision.
Whatever the facts may be in this particular case it is umimaginable in an everyday circumstance to have to make a decision to "reduce" a pregnancy of multiples. Imagine how hard that must be for someone who has stuggled with infertility for a number of years and who's greatest wish would be to conceive a baby (or add to their family again). Through all my years of infertility treatments, I have never met a women who has chosen the infertility rollercoaster as the ideal way to become pregnant (I'm sure that there maybe some out that, but I have not met them). I guess all I'm trying to say is that there maybe a ton of difficult decisions that have had to be made leading up to this point and even if all the facts were known its hard to know what is in this couple's hearts.

 

[mtemm]

Come on now. I'm just trying to stimulate some intellectual discussion on a topic of the age.

I disagree. You are using specific people here, not randomly bringing up a subject to debate. You are not asking to stimulate some intellectual discussion on a topic, you are asking people their opinion on specific couple and that couple's decisions.

If you want to have some random discussion, why not lay out the facts of the issue for people and ask what they would decide themselves. There is no need to include this couple in your discussion at all, especially since it is not you that is going thru it...you can only know so much of their situation.

 

[Chicago526]

I honestly don't know what I'd do. I think I'd have the reduction, but when push came to shove, I don't know if I'd go through with it. I do know that under no circumstances would I have more than three embryo's implanted though, just for this reason. I don't care what the "quality" of them are or the chances of failure, I just couldn't take the chance that all of them would "take", and then I've got to decide if I want a reduction.

I don't blame this couple for implanting 5, of course, it's just not something I would do, for the very reason of the situation they find themselves in now.

 

[DizBelle]

I disagree. You are using specific people here, not randomly bringing up a subject to debate. You are not asking to stimulate some intellectual discussion on a topic, you are asking people their opinion on specific couple and that couple's decisions.

If you want to have some random discussion, why not lay out the facts of the issue for people and ask what they would decide themselves. There is no need to include this couple in your discussion at all, especially since it is not you that is going thru it...you can only know so much of their situation.

Ok, then. Please re-read my original post but substitute "I know of this couple" with "Imagine a hypothetical couple". Pretend I don't know (or know of) the couple. That's not the point anyway.

 

[mtemm]

Ok, then. Please re-read my original post but substitute "I know of this couple" with "Imagine a hypothetical couple". Pretend I don't know (or know of) the couple. That's not the point anyway.

Gotcha. I thought your point was to ask about this particular couple. Now that I know its really debating multiple reduction, and you really aren't obsessed over this couple (which is truly what I was beginning to think) I'll take my leave.

 

[robinb]

This is where my problem with IVF comes in. We speak of the health of your babies, but what about the health of the ones we "selectively reduce".

Of course, those fetuses would be aborted so the fetuses left would have the best chance at being born healthy.

Kinda like playing God in my opinion!

You know what they say about opinios. Everyone has 'em and you are entitled to yours. In my opinion I think keeping a litter of babies is selfish. And yes, I expect that people will not agree with me.

 

[CathrynRose]

This is where my problem with IVF comes in. We speak of the health of your babies, but what about the health of the ones we "selectively reduce". Kinda like playing God in my opinion!

Yeah - but if someone was concerned about playing God, I dont know if they should be doing IVF, in the first place.

I'd selectively reduce, as well.