Motivation Needed

[dizluvah]

so many times over the years I have been inspired by what I read on the DIS - I need some of that now...

I have a 2 month old daughter so I rarely know if I'm coming or going/what day it is, etc. I have recently returned to work P/T - I feel like I am just treading water - almost drowning but not quite....

So the motivation I needs revolves around Christmas - I set up our (fake) tree several days ago - probably a week ago - it remains bare - I didn't even fluff all the branches out - it just sits there in the middle of the living room mocking me -

I haven't finished shopping and I haven't started decorating, wrapping or anything. We will be traveling to visit family so we leave in like 11 days - I already won't have much time to enjoy the holiday decor if I ever get it up...

I think I need a kick in the butt and while I want nice supportive responses (who doesn't right...) I expect the DIS is just the place to get a reality slap and perhaps that will get me moving....

PS - DH is the grinch at holiday time so enlisting his help is not an option...

 

[kirbydog48]

Could you maybe give yourself a break this year and just do minimal decorating, if any? You've got an infant, you're exhausted, you're working, and probably you're not back to normal hormonally yet. I'd also make it easy on myself with the gifts...maybe just gift cards or something really simple. Your energy right now has got to be on the baby, getting enough rest, nutrition, getting a little fresh air every day. Is there a friend who can help, or can you have a heart-to-heart with DH about really needing some help? Although it may well be exhaustion, I'm a little concerned that you may have post-partum depression, just from the tone of your post (which may just me my interpretation). Rather than a kick in the behind, you need loving kindness. Please call your doctor if you continue to feel like you're drowning.

 

[HeatherC]

Throw some pretty lights on your tree and call it a day. Do your shopping online and whatever you can't ship to someone, just buy a bunch of gift bags. Voilà...wrapping done.

Simplify. You will enjoy your holidays much more.

Congratulations on your new baby!

 

[RUDisney]

Put the tree away and put out some decorations inside your house. You'll have the fully decorated house when you go to visit your family. Don't let yourself stress over the small stuff, especially when you're sleep deprived.

I agree with Kirby, you should talk to your dr about your drowning feeling. There is help to get your hormones and moods back into a regular pattern.

I wish I lived closer to you so I could help with your shopping. My sister is having surgery on Monday and I told her to make a list of anything she needs done or to let me know what she needs wrapped so I can take that burden away from her and her DH.

 

[MinnieFan4ever]

First off, congrats on your new baby.

Someone once told me "treading water" was a success. Before you know it, you'll be swimming.

Give yourself a major break this holiday. Once you do that, you may actually be able to enjoy it. As others have stated, by online and have them shipped gift wrapped. Just put some lights on the tree with a topper and call it a day. Maybe just hang a wreath and call it a day. Bake some premixed cookies to get the house smelling good. Then sit down and eat them. That always makes me feel better.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I second the minimal decorating. Put on some Christmas music, and since you already put up the tree, give yourself permission to just decorate that! Take a "First Christmas" picture of the baby in front of it, and she'll never know there weren't any other decorations.

Who is the shopping you still need to do for? - If it's the baby, again, don't fret about having a lot of presents. She'll be overwhelmed by too much anyway. If it's other relatives, gift cards are perfect! They will be cooing over your new DD, and barely noticing their gifts anyway.

As for wrapping, do you have a teenage girl handy? - a niece, neighbor, whatever. At that age, I loved to wrap, would gladly have volunteered to do it for you.

And when you're away, and everyone wants to fuss over the baby, let them! Take advantage of the time to rest and feel a little taken care of yourself.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

so many times over the years I have been inspired by what I read on the DIS - I need some of that now...

I have a 2 month old daughter so I rarely know if I'm coming or going/what day it is, etc. I have recently returned to work P/T - I feel like I am just treading water - almost drowning but not quite....

So the motivation I needs revolves around Christmas - I set up our (fake) tree several days ago - probably a week ago - it remains bare - I didn't even fluff all the branches out - it just sits there in the middle of the living room mocking me -

I haven't finished shopping and I haven't started decorating, wrapping or anything. We will be traveling to visit family so we leave in like 11 days - I already won't have much time to enjoy the holiday decor if I ever get it up...

I think I need a kick in the butt and while I want nice supportive responses (who doesn't right...) I expect the DIS is just the place to get a reality slap and perhaps that will get me moving....

PS - DH is the grinch at holiday time so enlisting his help is not an option...

My suggestion is to pack up the tree and do not decorate. Your baby is 2months old and will never even know that you did this.

Plus if you are leaving out of town it is pointless imo. Get gift cards for "gifts" and then call it a day. Oh and since your dh "won't help", I would not bother with buying for his side of the family, ever.

Congrats on the new baby!

 

[indimom]

I agree with the other posters. Either skip the tree altogether or just enjoy the tree with lights, but no ornaments. You will be better rested and ready to enjoy the action next year when the baby is big enough to be grabbing the ornaments and chewing on the lights!
Oh, and gift cards are your friend!!

 

[Mary•Poppins]

It has taken me a LOOONNNNGGG time to give up trying to do it all around the holidays. Learn from my mistakes ... and follow what the other posters have said, give yourself a break.

I agree, put some lights on the tree, buy gift bags and bag all your presents.

At this point, I still don't have a tree since my hubby (who is a Grinch) would like a real tree ... but we have not time together as a family to cut one down. He would like to buy one at a tree lot and I keep saying ... let's just save the money and put up the artificial tree. Well, he has not done anything and, I am letting it go. (We just might not have a tree this year at the rate we are going ... but, I am not letting it bother me. What will be, will be.)

So, take it easy and enjoy your little Christmas present. And if everything is overwhelming with your little one, it might be a sign to start doing Christmas differently. ( ... saying this in a supportive way )

 

[dicar123]

I'll just mention this because no one else has...everyone knows (or should know) that you have an infant and have just gone back to work. Their expectations SHOULD BE low and if anyone dares to carp about gift cards in plain envelopes and no homebaked cookies or "where are your decorations..?", you have permission to tell them off and never speak to them again.

Do what you want to do, do what you will enjoy. Let everything else slide.

 

[minkydog]

I agree with the others. It's okay to *not* do the whole Christmas thing. YOu've got a very young baby and I"m pretty sure you are sleep deprived. You've just gone back to work and that alone can be draining. Your hubby isn't into the decorating, so why not just let it go this year? Don't overlook that possibility that you may be experiencing some post-partum depression on top of everything else.

I have had some difficult Christmases myself, due to new babies, illness, depression, cross country moves, etc. I learned a long time ago to not make it worse by trying to keep up appearances. One year I had pretty bad PPD and I couldn't STAND Christmas decorations, not at home or church or at the mall. My DH was as understanding as he could be and we didn't do traditional Christmas that year.

It's okay to give yourself a pass. Your whole life has undergone major upheaval. Maybe this isn't the time to pull out all the stops.

 

[Katie Dawn]

Christine,
I agree with kirbydog... you don't need a kick in the butt, you need a big hug, so
I am a new Mommy to a 4 1/2 month old and went back to work full-time a little over a month ago. Going back to work (even part time) with a two month old sounds extra exhausting! You've got to be kind to yourself.

First, it would be great for you to be able to talk to a friend about how you are feeling. Dealing with these emotions is FAR more common than most new parents realize (my job is working with first time parents) -- your friend may very well share their own story of struggling while their child was very young.

Second, tell your husband that you are having a really hard time right now and you need a little extra support for a little while.

Third, ask him if he will take the tree down and put it back in the box. He doesn't have to be in the Christmas spirit to do that. And I say just forget about decorations around your house completely! You are going to be visiting someone else who has decorated... just enjoy it! Plus, you won't have to worry about taking it all down later. If you want to see decorations before Christmas you could do something as simple as walk the baby around in a stroller in the mall and look at how they've decorated the windows.

Fourth, I also agree with the others that you should go as minimal as possible this year with gifts. The vast majority of people will not only understand but EXPECT you to not be able to get much done this year, and the people that don't understand aren't people whose opinions matter much. If gift cards will do then go for it. Remember lots of stores have gifts cards available for dozens of different stores... you could do all of your shopping in one stop. If you need to buy actual presents is there a friend that could go with you? When my sweet girl was about your age, and I was dealing with some of those same feelings, I was really energized by spending the day out and about with a friend and her sweet kiddos.

Fifth, if those feelings of being overwhelmed continue, or get worse, or change in a negative way... talk to your doctor, a friend, someone. You Are Not Weird For Feeling This Way. I believe, if nothing else, that the lack of sleep that comes with a brand new baby messes with us like crazy!
And last but not least: This is going to get better. You are not going to feel this way forever (and hopefully, not much longer at all.) Next Christmas will be completely different! This Christmas, let yourself be a brand new Mommy, and be gentle with yourself.

 

[dizluvah]

Thank you all so much - for the ideas, suggestions and encouragement. I just got home from work, I am fortunate to have a flexible job that lets me work at night 6:30-9:30pm after my hubby gets home to care for our daughter, and the responses where so nice to read.

In my pre-mommy days I was organized and loved list writing - so I think tonight I will write a to-do list with must do, would like to do, etc. My plan is to put the lights on the tree tomorrow - and go from there.

I'll keep ya posted on any progress.