Mothers Day

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I don't know how you girls spend Mothers Day.... In my family we would all get together for brunch or something like that (though thats not happening this year). My DH plays softball every Sunday morning, and everything is being turned up-side-down because god forbid he has to give up one day of softball to spend with the woman that bore his children. He and the captain of the team are giving me a hard time about him missing one game.
So my question is, do you think its to much to ask DH to not play for one day so I can have a nice Mothers Day (maybe just lazing around, or going to the the boardwalk or something like that), or do you think I should wait for Mothers Day to start after his softball game is over (usually around 1pm)?

TIA

 

[thegrimdwarf]

No, I don't think it's too much to ask. My husband would never dream of doing something like that. I'd be steamed if I were you, and I certainly wouldn't tolerate any lip from the Team Captain - I mean, seriously, from your husband, fine - but the other guy can sit and spin.

If he doesn't give you that one day, I suggest you makes some nice plans for just yourself on Father's Day.

 

[Magic Mom]

If it were me, I would be willing to wait until softball was over. I think I've become more flexible about stuff like that because Dh is in the Army, and been away from home for about half of our 18 year marriage. He has missed more birthdays, holidays and Mother's days then I can count anymore. After a while you come to realize those days are nice, but they don't need to be perfect to make them special. Your DH playing softball doesn't take away from you if he still plans to do something with you later in the day.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

No, I don't think it's too much to ask. My husband would never dream of doing something like that. I'd be steamed if I were you, and I certainly wouldn't tolerate any lip from the Team Captain - I mean, seriously, from your husband, fine - but the other guy can sit and spin.

If he doesn't give you that one day, I suggest you makes some nice plans for just yourself on Father's Day.

We will be in Baltimore for Fathers day... coming home that day....
I'm just so upset about this, I mean, its not the first time either. Two years ago he pulled the same crap! I mean, I understand he LOVES his baseball, but unless he wants to move in with one of his team mates.... And he keeps saying it to me jokingly, like hes testing the waters to see if I will "let" him play or something. Its just so hurtfull to me because its like ONE DAY, CAN'T YOU GIVE ME ONE DAY?! I'VE GIVEN UP MY LIFE AND WAIST LINE TO STAY HOME WITH THE KIDS (which I love dearly) AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE ME ONE FRIGGIN DAY WITHOUT MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT IT?!?!?!?? Arg! Mom was right, I should have been a lesbian so I don't have to deal with men!!!

 

[K and K's Mommy]

Can you pretend Mother' Day is on Saturday? We usually do that because we are driving to the different grandmas' houses on the actual day. Although this year, my DH is taking my oldest to see Bill Cosby on Mother's Day. I couldn't tell him no because how often is Bill Cosby in Indy?

 

[Eeyore's-tail-tack]

Cosby cancelled his Indy date

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Can you pretend Mother' Day is on Saturday? We usually do that because we are driving to the different grandmas' houses on the actual day. Although this year, my DH is taking my oldest to see Bill Cosby on Mother's Day. I couldn't tell him no because how often is Bill Cosby in Indy?

I'm sorry, but why should I have to PRETEND that Mothers Day is on another day so DH can play friggin softball???? Sorry don't think so!!
Sorry, don't mean to take it out on you, but come on, its like saying - "Oh hunny, I know its your 21st birthday, but rather than celebrating it with you, I'm going to get two mollers pulled, and now you have to take care of me all weekend - something I could totally do the next weekend, but I just don't want to." Oh wait, he did that to me already!!!! At this point, I just want to forget about Mothers Day.
Anyway we all know its not that I need a "day for me", its the fact that DH should WANT to make it special for me, just like I try to make Fathers Day, and his birthdays special for him. Its about respect and love for your partner.

 

[Eeyore's-tail-tack]

A lot of men don't do anything for their wives because it is Mother's Day, not wives day. I would just let him have the few hours to play his game. Some people take their commitment to a sport just as they would to a religion.

 

[Magic Mom]

I'm sorry, but why should I have to PRETEND that Mothers Day is on another day so DH can play friggin softball???? Sorry don't think so!!
Sorry, don't mean to take it out on you, but come on, its like saying - "Oh hunny, I know its your 21st birthday, but rather than celebrating it with you, I'm going to get two mollers pulled, and now you have to take care of me all weekend - something I could totally do the next weekend, but I just don't want to." Oh wait, he did that to me already!!!! At this point, I just want to forget about Mothers Day.
Anyway we all know its not that I need a "day for me", its the fact that DH should WANT to make it special for me, just like I try to make Fathers Day, and his birthdays special for him. Its about respect and love for your partner.

If he plans to do something special with you after the game, I don't understand how that's any less respectful or loving. I'm not putting you down for your feelings, I just hate to see young couples fight over something that could be worked out with just a little give from both sides.

 

[rt2dz]

Sorry. I feel for you, but I don’t really understand. Mother’s Day is no big deal to me. And, yes, I do have 3 kids. It’s a silly day, imo. I don’t care what goes on that day—it’s just a day. But, then again, I don’t feel ignored as a mom the other 364 days of the year. I know moms who want that day to not be mom—to spend it by themselves. I know moms who want to spend it as a group with the other mothers (grandmothers, their mothers, sisters, etc) in their family. I know moms who want to spend it with their children in celebration. Everyone is different. Maybe your DH just had a mother (or is himself) more like me—looking at the big picture and not the details so it isn’t a huge deal and he doesn’t understand why it is a big deal to you.

Anyhow, you might not like the response, but I’d wait until after the game “to start” Mothers Day. And as a pp said, it Is Mother’s Day, not wives day.

 

[momof3girls6712]

I never expect anything special for Mother's Day, etc. When we first meet I told my DH that I never wanted flowers, gifts, etc because it was a holiday. So he brings home flowers and such just because. We might spend a day in bed just because its Thursday. That means alot more to me then him doing something because there are signs in every store we enter. This year we will be at WDW on Mothers Day and I have arranged for a gifts of a lifetime surpise for him and my daughter on Mothers Day. It does not bother me at all that the day will not be about me. I know everyday he thinks about me and I prefer that over a few holidays a year.

 

[Lady V]

A lot of men don't do anything for their wives because it is Mother's Day, not wives day. I would just let him have the few hours to play his game. Some people take their commitment to a sport just as they would to a religion.

I think that is an awful way for any father to act. "Sure kids...do something nice for your mom...but me? no way!! my sports mean more to me than her
....Really nice....
Well, in case he doesn't wise up and remember how inportant you are...here are some flowers..

 

[donac]

I think for me MOther's Day is going to take a back seat to Sat. Ds1 is graduating college on Sat and I don't think that there is going to be anything for me because all the guys in the family are last minute shoppers and they won't have time on Sat.

I think we should be made to feel special on this day. Think about all you do for your family every day day in and day out. I do get thanks from my ds2 but it doesn't cover everything I do for them.

 

[juliana_sd]

OP, I understand your feelings. My ex-h was like that. It's not about Mother's Day, necessarily. It's something that is important to YOU and he doesn't seem to care. What he wants (softball) is more important than what you want (family time).

Now I know that I was guilty of not communicating to my ex that something was important, and just expecting him to know. Maybe think about how you addressed the issue with him, and how clear you were about what you wanted and why you want it.

Good luck!

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

OP, I understand your feelings. My ex-h was like that. It's not about Mother's Day, necessarily. It's something that is important to YOU and he doesn't seem to care.
Good luck!

Thank you!! Thats exactly what I mean - its not the fact of "Mothers Day" its the fact that its something thats important to me, so I think it should be somewhat important to him. He said to me "Oh, well you didn't take concideration on the fact that for Fathers Day you made plans for us to be in Baltimore...." First of all, in some ways hes right, my only defence is that I totally forgot when Fathers Day was (it changes every year!), and forgot that Mothers Day was coming up as well. Plus, HELLO - we are away, together, no kids, alone... sounds like a great fathers day to me! Whatever - I've over it now....
Hope everyone else has a great Mothers Day!!!

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

Mother's Day???? What's that? In my house, it's referred to as....Sunday!

School will have DD make something but I'm sure that I won't see anything else nor will it be acknowledged. However, I have started insisting that DH use his own spending money to buy his mom's present. I'm sick of spending all my spending money for every holiday, birthday, etc, etc gift and getting nothing in return! Luckily, Father's Day comes after Mother's Day...if I get nothing...neither does he!!!

I probably should add that DH is not a jerk...he's just the type to say "if you want something, go out and buy it" He would never flinch if I came in with a ton of shopping bags full of stuff for myself....he just doesn't do the "present" thing.