mother in law problems

[Bovril]

I've just screwed up the courage to tell my MIL that Iam going to the US on Monday, nothing like leaving it to the last minute!

knew that she would have one or two things to say, but wasn't quite prepared for the reaction

she went absolutely mad

how dare you leave your husband and go gadding off halfway round the world
etc,etc

does anyone else have these problems telling relatives about holidays?

what makes things worse is the fact that I don't work and DH is working 7 day weeks(his choice) which apparantly he has to do to keep me in my' wild and decadent lifestyle'

sorry to moan, but her reaction has really taken the shine off going

 

[Janice]

Bovril - I am so sorry this has upset you {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

I am really lucky and dont have any problem at all like this, my MIL is the sweetest
person and really doesnt impose her opinion of anything we do onto us.

My reaction would have been, "Well, sorry, I was being polite and friendly in telling
you - your Son, my DH doesnt have any difficulty in accepting this - whatever your
problem ........... GET OVER IT!

I hope you don't let this spoil your holiday - go away in spite of her now and have a
fantastic time (then come back and tell her all about it!LOL)

Dont mean to be flippant, just trying to make you smile

 

[TigH]

I hear ya!

My in-laws aren't so bad, but we used to have problems telling them about our vacation plans (or any plans!)

They nearly hit the roof when we told them we were leaving our steady government jobs to move to Florida. My hubby works M-F and I stay home and take care of the house, the yard, the laundry, fix dinner, etc. My in-laws are ALWAYS asking me what I plan to do...hello? This is it! My MIL is a great person, but she used to intimidate the hell out of me. She can be very direct and asks all sorts of questions that catch me off guard (like how much money my husband makes, how much our house cost, etc.) To me those are very personal questions and none of her business. It's taken time, but now I just give them equally direct answers and I don't feel intimidated anymore.

It's your life. Don't waste another second thinking about what she said. Go on your trip and HAVE FUN!!!! Enjoy every minute of your life as much as you can. Grouchy people are no fun and they can be terribly jealous of happy people.

Now cheer up and have a great time!!! That's an order!!!! (and buy your husband a nice present!)

 

[UKDEB]

Janice is right - it is her problem, not yours. We all probably spend far too much of our lives worrying about what other people think - something we can't control. Let her screw herself up with her own petty-mindedness, but try not to let her do the same to you.

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

 

[Bovril]

Thanks all

feel happier now, funny how it helps just talking about it to you guys

speak to you all when I get back

 

[Clarey]

Hi Bovril
Sorry to hear that you are having MIL probs just go and enjoy.

Ive been having pc probs, just found you all today.

Clare

 

[Muppet]

First of all have a fantastic holiday.

My mil doesn't deserve capitals is a very nasty woman.

When DH asks her what she wants for Xmas etc she says For her to leave you alone!!!
ie me.

She a very 2 faced lady and to be honest I just smirk way through the day. She gives me lists of stuff she wants me to buy her from Orlando and to prove a point I get all of it just so she can't whinge about that.

Gives me 2nd hand dirty pajamas for xmas and used cosmetics so I rise above it a cuss her out to my mum and feel all the better for it.

I'm having the last laugh this year me and DH are going to Orlando for Xmas so there. DH dad is lovely and often says he had a lucky escape. He divorced her 15 years ago.

 

[Madjock]

Go and enjoy yourself. Have a large cocktail and toast the fact that your miles away from the awful woman!

Annmarie

 

[Claire44]

Have a great time and forget about your MIL. Look at it this way it's one less present to buy!

 

[Sian]

Don't fret Bovril, it's a mother in law's job to make life difficult and cause upset. (Mine is soon to be my ex MIL which is one of the plusses of getting divorced.) Don't tell her at all next time, it's got nothing to do with her. Have a lovely time and don't give her a second thought.

 

[Sian]

Don't fret Bovril, it's a mother in law's job to make life difficult and cause upset. (Mine is soon to be my ex MIL which is one of the plusses of getting divorced.) Don't tell her at all next time, it's got nothing to do with her. Have a lovely time and don't give her a second thought.

 

[Sue's Mum]

Flipping heck, can't some people be awful! Life can deal enough blows without sad people deliberatly trying to make it worse. People like that must be so bitter inside that perhaps we should try and find it in our hearts to be sorry for them - and then ignore them so that we can cope. But, as usual, we probably go on trying for the sake of others. I don't know what help I can be except to send PD and [[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]. Go off, girl, and enjoy yourself - go and be just you and nobody's wife, daughter-in-law, slave, etc. etc. We all need to be just ourselves occasionally.

 

[Aprilimgoing]

Hi Bovril

Like you i am "gadding off to Orlando with a friend leaving DH at home. When I told my MIL i got the look that said "how could you leave my poor son alone with the childredn" at this point i would like to point out 2 things

1 said children are 18 & 20

2, it was DH idea for me to have a break away with a friend.


Take it with a pinch if salt and do not worry. Im not as long as you and dh are happy with the situation you do not have to justify to yourself to anyone.



HAve a great time



Tanya

 

[Sue F UK]

At least you don't have to take her with you Bovril. Console yourself with that thought!!

We took my MIL with us in Feb as we felt guilty as she is on her own. She repaid us by spending the whole holiday moaning that she didn't like the parks or Orlando in general and told us repeadedly how wonderful New York was. She then refused to come out with us and holed up in the villa, sleeping all day only to moan when we got back that we had abandoned her

She was lucky I didn't open the door half way across the Atlantic and toss her out on the way back!!!

How can anyone not love Disney????? The woman is obviously mad, completely mad.!!!!!!!

 

[Christine (UK)]

Well my MIL always moans when we go to Orlando. "You wouldn't catch me going back there!" "Once is enough" . The heat is off us at the moment, my BIL's live in girlfriend has got fed up of working and is now staying at home. No kids, no job and not married, well I think that will keep her going for a few years!

My FIL is lovely and always wishes us happy holidays. I don't let anything bother me now, it took years to realise that she has no effect on my life. I remember once she gave us such a hard time when we decided to buy a new car, I stood my ground and argued. Now adays I would let her have her say and then go and do what we wanted anyway. I have found having kids makes it easier, she talks to them all the time! I can just sit there reading the paper, she is more interested in the kids than me.