Mother Advice Please! UPDATE!!!!

[MusiqChic99]

My son just turned 3, May 27th. He can count to 12. He can point to shapes and tell you what they are. He can sing songs from his shows. But he doesn't really say many sentences at all. And sometimes he will just look at me and says jibberish. You can tell he wants to talk and tries but it doesn't make sense and they aren't words. It's like if you say something first or he watches it he will repeat it but never just on his own.

Is this normal? I talked to his dr about it at his 3 year check up and she said I could have him evaluated if I wanted to but she never said if she was concerned or not.

If you were in my shoes would you be worried at all? Most people I talk to give me the same..."he's a boy"..."he'll talk when he wants to". ...etc.

More opinions would be appreciated.

Thanks!


UPDATE: I just really wanted to share. I went home and talked to DH and we decided ok we would do an evaluation. I called about 2 weeks later but could never get anyone so I left a message. Well no one called me back. HOWEVER...my son is talking up a storm. Saying "I want this" and "I want that". "Turn on the light"...."Don't turn it on". Last night as we were walking to the kitchen for a drink he said "It's dark in here". It's like he woke up and thought Ok I'll talk now. He even tells me when he wants to use his fish bowl to eat applesauce. Before it would have been "apple" and "bowl". I love it!!!!!

 

[woodkins]

My daughter is now 6 but at 15 mos we had her evaluated for speech and Occupational therapy issues. If you feel that there could be a problem than have him evaluated. The therapist can come to your home and it is all play. My dd loved having therapy because it was fun, play and one on one attention. The best/worst case scenario (depending on how you look at it) is that the therapist tells you he is fine and you wasted the hour or two that you spend having him evaluated. If there is a problem and you let it go you could be hurting your son as the older the child is the harder it is for them to deal with a lack of abilitiy to communicate and it also can become hard for them to break bad habits that they may have developed. My dd was in therapy for years but went into kindergarten with no interventions or therapies. Getting her early intervention was the best choice we had ever made.
Good luck to you!!!

 

[sk!mom]

I'm a mom of two and a teacher. I would be very concerned and would have him evaluated immediatly. I'm surprised that your doctor didn't reccommend it.

 

[turkeymama]

You have a concern, have him evaluated. At three years old, the school system can do an evaluation, or you can have it done privately at your own expense. Personally, I would do both (and I have with both of my children). And I don't ever accept the generic responses that lump kids in a category, i.e. boys talk later, girls mature faster. I think that sells them short. Kids don't come "one-size-fits-all".

 

[MusiqChic99]

You have a concern, have him evaluated. At three years old, the school system can do an evaluation, or you can have it done privately at your own expense. Personally, I would do both (and I have with both of my children). And I don't ever accept the generic responses that lump kids in a category, i.e. boys talk later, girls mature faster. I think that sells them short. Kids don't come "one-size-fits-all".

That's how I see it but I just had a conversation about this with a co-worker friend of mine who is around my son and knows my concerns. She tells me all the time I shouldn't be concerned and there is nothing wrong with him at all.

I will probably have him evaluated anyway despite the opinions I get, I just dont want to be the overconerned parent over nothing.

Thanks for your response.

 

[puffkin]

My son had this problem, but we had him evaluated at age 2 and he was finished with the program by age 3 and ahead of his peers. The speech teacher came to our house once a week and it was all play based. Well worth it to us....he was borderline for services, but we decided to nip the problem in the bud early because it is much more difficult the older they are!

The big thing we learned is that speaking is very visual. Our son would be so engrossed in playing that he wouldn't make eye contact with us when we were speaking to him. He was missing the whole visual element of speaking if that makes any sense. We would do things like a puzzle where I would have all the pieces. Each time he wanted a piece I would wait until he would make eye contact with me and then hand him one piece. I would say something like, "here is the blue cirle" or "look at this big cow". We also learned to get down to his level when speaking to him and have him look at us.

It was amazing, within 2 months he was speaking in full sentences. When we started he said about 10 words. We did have some clarity issues to continue working out, but that little excercise made speech click for him.

Definitely get your son evaluated! It is so worth it and much better to get things corrected before they start school!

 

[HGD24]

Put me in the better safe than sorry camp. I'd get an evaluation done if I had a concern. I'm the type who gets myself and my baby to a specialist if I feel there's a need - I don't wait for someone who doesn't live with us 24/7 to make the call. You'll either get peace of mind that he's fine or you'll be albe to start therapy if there is an issue. Good luck

 

[MSSANDRA]

preschool director here-

I do see flags. I would call your school district and ask for an evaluation. At three he qualifies for free services from the school.

Speech ( of lack of it) is much more a sign of a problem than not knowing numbers, shapes or letters.

I hate it when people dismiss concerns about little boys because they are "just little boys".

Praying it is nothing but you need to be sure.

 

[tadamom]

I would have him evaluated as well.

 

[tadamom]

I would suggest having him evaluated as well.

 

[allyphoe]

Get the evaluation. It's not a big deal to have done (our health department will do a speech eval for free). My DD was evaluated at 2, when she failed both the 18-mo and 24-mo parent questionairres. Turned out she was fine (one of those kids who could talk, but chose not to) - but my gut instinct had been that she was fine.

 

[ktlm]

If it will give you peace of mind, by all means have him evaluated. Plus, if he is having trouble, catching it early would be great. Does he have older brothers or sisters? Sometimes, kids just don't talk much because they don't have to as their older siblings understand everything and translate for them. My friend's daughter hardly talked at all until she was four. A few words here and there was it. She is 12 now and got in trouble in grade school all the time for talking too much! She never had any type of evaluation or therapy. She could communicate with her older brother fine without words, and she just didn't talk until she had something to say. I do know several boys who did not have much of a vocabulary until they were closer to 4, none of which ever had evaluation or therapy and are perfectly fine. Another boy I know did not talk very well by 4, and they did have to get him speech therapy for a year. Hopefully, it is nothing, but if your gut tells you there is a problem, then check it out.

 

[mjkacmom]

I would definitely get him evaluated. I had ds evaluated at 18 months because he had no language, and he ended up getting ST for 1 1/2 years. It's free, they have to evaluate him, and I've never known anyone who's regretted it - either it puts their fears to rest, or it's a start to the solution to the problem. The earlier, the better.

 

[squirrel]

I'd rather know as soon as possible if my child was behind than to wait for someone to tell me that he/she is far behind. It sounds like it doesn't cost you anything to have him tested. Are there long waits to get in? Up here it can take months to get in and have your child tested.

 

[thebeesknees]

Add me to the "get it checked out" category. I took my daughter in last August because she is still not saying her R's properly (not as bad as that Ming-Ming duck, but still!) and she was 4 1/2 at the time. I don't know about your school district, but here in CO, it was free. They did about 1 1/2 hours of play-based evaluation with her and then were able to tell me that she does have a mild speech impediment, but not enough to qualify for school services. They said she'd probably outgrow it shortly, and she has gotten much better over this year. It was a big relief to me to be able to take her in and have a professional opinion. Not to mention that if there had been a more serious problem, they would have been able to get her into speech therapy and straighten it out before she started becoming too self-conscious about it.

 

[turkeymama]

That's how I see it but I just had a conversation about this with a co-worker friend of mine who is around my son and knows my concerns. She tells me all the time I shouldn't be concerned and there is nothing wrong with him at all.

I will probably have him evaluated anyway despite the opinions I get, I just dont want to be the overconerned parent over nothing.

Thanks for your response.

I had a few people (who knew my son) tell me not to worry about my son. They said he was fine. Yeah, okay. He has autism. I wish I had done the evaluation sooner. I'm not saying that's what your son sounds like, I'm just saying you should always trust your instincts. Your son will always be your son and nobody knows him better than you. Evaluations can be kind of time consuming, so once you start the process, hang in there.

 

[ireland_nicole]

I agree, get him evaluated. Your instinct as a mom is better than anyone else's opinion, so trust it. That being said, while getting an eval through the school system is good, I would also see an independent professional. The criteria are completely different, and sometimes a child can have an issue that is not picked up by the school (trust me, I know)

 

[bumbershoot]

Being the oldest of 5, each with their own quirks, I just see nothing amiss with that. I wouldn't do a thing. DS doesn't always say R or L (he can do it, he just doesn't do it most of the time) and I don't have a problem with that, either.

Heck, my ridiculously brilliant full (as opposed to the half-sibs) brother didn't even TALK until he was nearly 4, and he's a completely normal (if ridiculously successful, smart, popular, etc) person.

 

[PoohGal05]

I don't know about pediatrician's in other states (or other offices for that matter), but where I take my baby, they do developmental screenings at each visit, called the ASQ ~ Ages and Stages Questionarre. It's a screening that the parents fill out based on what the children are doing, sometimes do, and aren't doing yet. I am surprised, too, that the doctor didn't suggest having him evaluated, even though children do develop at their own pace/

I'm a teacher for an Early Head Start program and I would definately recommend having him evaluated.

 

[mjkacmom]

Being the oldest of 5, each with their own quirks, I just see nothing amiss with that. I wouldn't do a thing. DS doesn't always say R or L (he can do it, he just doesn't do it most of the time) and I don't have a problem with that, either.

Heck, my ridiculously brilliant full (as opposed to the half-sibs) brother didn't even TALK until he was nearly 4, and he's a completely normal (if ridiculously successful, smart, popular, etc) person.

I can see absolutely no reason not to evaluate - it's a win/win. Either she can stop worrying, or they can get the ball moving with some help - when it comes to special services, the earlier, the better. Most 3 year old speak in pretty clear sentences. That's great that your brother turned out fine - if he had ST, he probably would've been talking much earlier, and a lot of times, children who aren't talking at 4 have issues, which one would rather start dealing with at 2.

OP - get the evaluation - it's free, it's fun, and if he qualifies, you will see improvement.