Most awkward moments you have had at funerals?

[tvguy]

Sorry if this question is in bad taste, but does a family have to pay for an autopsy? Here it's a decision of the health authorities, (or sometimes justice) and the coroner's office is publicly funded. Accordingly, a family who wants an autopsy for their own information/peace-of-mind, also can't access one unless it has been ordered by the authorities.

When my mother in law passed unexpectedly we requested an autopsy. She was 64. The coroner billed $100 for the autopsy.
We did not have access to her medical records, but she had mentioned her Doctor said she should be taking blood pressure medicine, but she refused. She was a life long smoker, and while she stopped drinking about 10 years before her death, she had been a heavy drinker. Cause of death was determined to be extreme cardiovascular disease.

 

[ttintagel]

Seeing unsupervised kids climb up on top of the casket and not being able to interfere because I don't want to get yelled at by their parents.

Also, when my mother's boyfriend, who was more of a father to me than my own ever had been, died in a car accident, the funeral director brought us in through a back entrance into the back of the chapel, because everybody was sure his adult daughter would make a scene if she saw us there.

 

[tvguy]

Autopsy isn't always optional. My mom died unexpectedly at home. She was chronically ill but not terminally, and she was only 50. So we weren't given a choice: autopsy/toxicology/the works to determine the cause of death. It turned out to be a prescription rheumatoid arthritis medication that was since taken off the market

If there are no suspicious circumstances, an autopsy is not required if the person was over age 59 in most states. They are presumed to have died of natural causes. That was one of the things that came up when Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died. People wanted to know why no autopsy was done. Law enforcement determined their were no suspicious circumstances, and because he was 79, it is presumed he died of old age.
Now, a family can request an autopsy no matter what the age of the deceased, but it is not required.

 

[JLTraveling]

If there are no suspicious circumstances, an autopsy is not required if the person was over age 59 in most states. They are presumed to have died of natural causes. That was one of the things that came up when Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died. People wanted to know why no autopsy was done. Law enforcement determined their were no suspicious circumstances, and because he was 79, it is presumed he died of old age.
Now, a family can request an autopsy no matter what the age of the deceased, but it is not required.

I did not know that. We would have requested an autopsy no matter what, but it was interesting to me that it all just sort of happened really fast with no input from anyone in the family.

 

[Kennywood]

 

[Jennasis]

Sooooo many. A more recent ine was where I was charged with babysitting the 2 year old niece. We were in the hallway outside the main room at the funeral home when she suddenly bolted inside. I was like Rocky trying to catch the chicken! Well dang if she didn't wriggle her way to rhe front of the room where my aunt was laying in her casket...and bless her she exclaimed "why is Aunt Sue sleeping??? Wake UP!!"

 

[mjkacmom]

My mom’s funeral when my dad wanted to receive communion (he’s Methodist). He knew it was a no-no before he got Alzheimer’s, but apparently forgot. My mom’s cousin was the priest so he handled it pretty well.

 

[Claudia1]

One of my husband's co-workers died while with his mistress. (He lived in a town 3 hours away and stayed in an apt in our town when he worked.) The mistress called the wife to tell her he died. At the visitation, the mistress stood on one end of the casket and the wife stood on the other. None of the co-workers knew who to talk to first... their co-worker (the mistress) or the wife. To add to the intense situation, the wife's evangelical church had sent a church bus full of church member/friends to support her and we all felt their eyes upon us the whole time, like we were co-conspirators.

AWKWARD!

 

[ttintagel]

My mom’s funeral when my dad wanted to receive communion (he’s Methodist). He knew it was a no-no before he got Alzheimer’s, but apparently forgot. My mom’s cousin was the priest so he handled it pretty well.

I don't understand - why was communion a "no-no?" Was your mother a different denomination or something?

 

[Moliphino]

I don't understand - why was communion a "no-no?" Was your mother a different denomination or something?

I'm assuming Catholic.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I haven’t read the whole thread yet, but I will. This may be somewhat common, idk.

I was at the wake for a coworker’s family member who took their own life. Emotions were running high, and a fist fight broke out among the family. It was sad. Our bosses were all there at the time, too, so I felt bad for my coworker/friend, but I think most people understood.

I was also in line at a wake another time when the first family member in line mentioned something to me about how the deceased, who was my friend, died, which I hadn’t known. I was so shocked and saddened hearing that, that I started to cry. I felt bad, but I couldn’t stop. But that started some other crying in the line, too. They kind of made a joke of it, but I felt awful.

At my own father’s funeral, I was holding it together, when my friend came up to the line with her boyfriend, who I really liked, and, just in conversation, he told me that he’d lost his father 25 yrs earlier and still missed him every day. Something about that made me start to cry, and my friend got mad at him for saying that, lol. We joked about it for years afterward. I guess I hadn’t thought of the long term up until that point, was just trying to get through the services.

Just thought of another one. Most recently at a family member’s wake there was one really nosy guy there talking to various people trying to get ”dirt” out of them on what had happened. He blatantly wanted details. I wanted to tell him he was being rude but I didn’t want a showdown in the middle of the funeral home so I just walked away.

 

[KayMichigan]

My mother passed away in July of 1999. At her funeral the pastor made mention of being grateful for life because you never know when something might happen, and proceeded to reference the passing of John F. Kennedy Jr. who had just died along with his wife and sister-in-law in a plane crash. My sister, brothers and I were quite surprised at this because we hadn't been paying any attention at all to the news and had no idea JFK Jr. had died.

 

[ronandannette]

Maybe I've mentioned this somewhere on the DIS before, but since the thread has re-surfaced and it's a slow afternoon, here goes: My MIL (may she rest in peace) was NOT a very nice person. Especially in her later years, she became shrewish and demanding, mostly with the people closest to her. At her funeral, the minister, who knew her well, made some oddly-chosen comments that I think were intended to try and make her sound quirky and endearing, but just ended up cringy. At one point, the congregation actually laughed because he really zinged her, and my two sisters-in-law (ex wife and current wife of my BIL) actually high-fived each other in vindication.

 

[goofyernmost]

When my Grandfather passed, I along with some of my cousins were asked to be pallbearers. It was January and the temperature was around 22 degree F with a stiff breeze blowing. Our only job was to carry the casket from the hearse into the church and then back out after. Then a quick ride to the Cemetery where he would be placed in the vault until spring when the frost was gone and they could dig the grave. One of my Aunts insisted that the pallbearers take off our winter jackets. I refused but the others did do it. She got so made at me. I told her that unless she wanted to attend my funeral in a few days that the jacket stayed on and that I was sure that Grandpa understood. She made quite a scene but I won. Then as we were all carrying the casket to the entrance of the Church one of my cousins said loud enough for all to hear that he would give me $50.00 for my (expletive) jacket. We all started laughing which was a little embarrassing considering the reason for our being there. She never spoke to me again. I didn't care. I wasn't invited back for the actual burial.

 

[goofyernmost]

My mom’s funeral when my dad wanted to receive communion (he’s Methodist). He knew it was a no-no before he got Alzheimer’s, but apparently forgot. My mom’s cousin was the priest so he handled it pretty well.

I was Catholic and my wife was Episcopalian. She used to take communion every time we attended mass together for funerals or some other religious thing. (i.e. weddings, 1st Communion, confirmation) I told her she wasn't supposed to but she didn't care. Anyone that hasn't been to either service should know that there is very little difference between a Catholic Mass and an Episcopalian Service. It did cause a few gasps amongst my family.