Money and Contentment

[superme80]

OP I just wanted to say it is awesome all you have accomplished. There are days when we need to vent. Good for you for showing your daughters what a strong woman is. I hope things look up for you financially.

 

[eliza61]

LOL! You gotta love when people spew off rants like that and preface it with "don't take it the wrong way". The same happens when people start their rants with "I am not a racist". You kind of know what's going to follow...

Or my other favorite.. "I really don't mean to get in your business" and then they proceed to get in your business.



Look at it this way, I use these type of post to remind myself of how I DON'T want to sound.

 

[Liberty Belle]

It was a mistake for me to read this thread. My husband and I both work full time, we never, ever go out with or without the kids, are down to bare bones luxuries-wise. We do have cell phones and Internet access, though. Spend as little as possible on groceries, and one of us needs to get a second job. We are in our 40's.

 

[North of Mouse]

P.S. Like they say in the South, you can say any mean and awful thing about anybody as long as you add "bless her heart" at the end. No, this aint how it works

Actually, this has been a 'long running joke' and is not at all true - maybe in some 'high society', but not among the average southern folks. I am as deep south as some goes, but we never used that in a derogatory or sarcastic way like that - we 'meant' it! It was a term used for understanding and endearment.

Seems like it's mostly quoted from people up north to demean the south, but that's ok - just wanted to set the record straight - lots of folks moving down south to escape the north! No worries.

 

[ellochka]

Actually, this has been a 'long running joke' and is not at all true - maybe in some 'high society', but not among the average southern folks. I am as deep south as some goes, but we never used that in a derogatory or sarcastic way like that - we 'meant' it! It was a term used for understanding and endearment.

Seems like it's mostly quoted from people up north to demean the south, but that's ok - just wanted to set the record straight - lots of folks moving down south to escape the north! No worries.

LOL! No, that's not how I meant it. I meant it in a way that Southerners are aware that saying "bless her heart" at the end does not negate the bad comment, and even made a joke about it. I myself lived for 2.5 years in Memphis, and I have never heard people do that.

 

[NewRVLady]

Dance is an extravagance
The amount for all the recital clothes is unreal

Art classes for that young is also NOT a necessity

I am an artist and really just doing my thing was always better than any classes

 

[pryncess527]

Dance is an extravagance
The amount for all the recital clothes is unreal

That really depends on the teacher/dance school

 

[bumbershoot]

Actually, this has been a 'long running joke' and is not at all true - maybe in some 'high society', but not among the average southern folks. I am as deep south as some goes, but we never used that in a derogatory or sarcastic way like that - we 'meant' it! It was a term used for understanding and endearment.

Seems like it's mostly quoted from people up north to demean the south, but that's ok - just wanted to set the record straight - lots of folks moving down south to escape the north! No worries.

I lived in South Carolina for nearly 4 years and the OLD-school people that I knew absolutely positively used it EXACTLY like that. Rude rude rude, then "bless her heart" and they'd act absolved of the gossip.

Glad you don't live around people like that, but the people I knew who were native South Carolinians used it like that.


You can say it's not at all true, but that's not the truth. Might be so in your area, with the people you know. Wasn't the case in my experience.

Two of my friends lived/live in GA as well, and they picked up very very quickly on the use in that way from the native Georgians.


And none of us are "northerners", FYI. My mom was, but I certainly am not.


Dance clothes...once every other year our YMCA has formal recital, and that gets expensive, but the kids then own the costumes. But for DS's dance company, the costumes are provided. And they don't keep them.

Shoes, though. Yipes.

 

[North of Mouse]

I lived in South Carolina for nearly 4 years and the OLD-school people that I knew absolutely positively used it EXACTLY like that. Rude rude rude, then "bless her heart" and they'd act absolved of the gossip.

Glad you don't live around people like that, but the people I knew who were native South Carolinians used it like that.


You can say it's not at all true, but that's not the truth. Might be so in your area, with the people you know. Wasn't the case in my experience.

Two of my friends lived/live in GA as well, and they picked up very very quickly on the use in that way from the native Georgians.


And none of us are "northerners", FYI. My mom was, but I certainly am not.


Dance clothes...once every other year our YMCA has formal recital, and that gets expensive, but the kids then own the costumes. But for DS's dance company, the costumes are provided. And they don't keep them.

Shoes, though. Yipes.

Actually wasn't quoting you, but someone from Ohio - have heard it from others further up north say the same thing. S.Carolina is one state I have never lived in, but have lived in several others - including GA - and have yet to hear it in a rude way from anyone. Guess I'm just around different types of people than you.

 

[DawnM]

THIS!

OP, you will not see 48 hours of work per month going directly to taxes. You will see a portion of your check going to taxes according to your tax scale.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/11/19/1163255/-Do-YOU-understand-how-tax-brackets-work

Here is an excerpt:

Here's a modified version of the current Federal Income Tax Brackets (I've rounded off the numbers to make it easier to follow):

Taxable Income / Tax Rate
$0 - $10,000 / 10%
$10,000 - $30,000 / 15%
$30,000 - $80,000 / 25%
$80,000 - $200,000 / 28%
$200,000 - $400,000 / 33%
More than $400,000 / 35%


So, the first 30K is taxed at 15%, then the next 50K is taxed at 25%, then the next $120K is taxed at 28%.

If you make 100K, your entire pay is not taxed at 28%, it is taxed at a graduated rate.

\

And you misunderstand taxes - You may see more taken out of your check when you work more because of a move to a different bracket and the payroll system assumption that you'll need all that held back, but because tax rates are marginal, its impossible to not come out ahead financially - at least by the time you file.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

THIS!

OP, you will not see 48 hours of work per month going directly to taxes. You will see a portion of your check going to taxes according to your tax scale.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/11/19/1163255/-Do-YOU-understand-how-tax-brackets-work

Here is an excerpt:

Here's a modified version of the current Federal Income Tax Brackets (I've rounded off the numbers to make it easier to follow):

Taxable Income / Tax Rate
$0 - $10,000 / 10%
$10,000 - $30,000 / 15%
$30,000 - $80,000 / 25%
$80,000 - $200,000 / 28%
$200,000 - $400,000 / 33%
More than $400,000 / 35%


So, the first 30K is taxed at 15%, then the next 50K is taxed at 25%, then the next $120K is taxed at 28%.

If you make 100K, your entire pay is not taxed at 28%, it is taxed at a graduated rate.

Always drives me nuts when people claim extra hours or bonuses aren't worth it because they "lose it to taxes anyway".


Edit: interestingly enough, my checks are pretty much always 66.5% of my gross - 40 hours, 60 hours, doesn't matter. 40 is taxed at a lower rate, but my deductions come out of the 40 hours. So, it evens out. Bonus checks are usually 58% of gross.

 

[Monykalyn]

I didn't take it as a complaint per se, I took it as just a frustrating vent.

hasn't anyone had those periods of time when you swore the more you did, the further behind you got?

come on, you guys can't be that perfect.

Exactly how I took it too, but there are lots of perfect people out there per the Judgy McJudgersons (and look-I did it too)

And then OP said she has accomplished alot and look-here come the judgers again saying if you are so proud why complain? Heaven forbid you just get TIRED sometimes and just need an ear!!

 

[ellochka]

Always drives me nuts when people claim extra hours or bonuses aren't worth it because they "lose it to taxes anyway".

True. Also, keep in mind exemptions and deductions - personal, mortgage interest, state taxes. The tax rates are applied to adjusted income, i.e. after all deductions. With two kids and a mortgage, I would presume she is not paying more than 13% of the total to federal (I was paying 16% on ~$80K of income, no mortgage, and two people), and her federal marginal rate is ~25% at most. We ourselves pay ~42% marginal rate (federal, state, city, SS) because we make really good income, and it is still worth it.

 

[ellochka]

Edit: interestingly enough, my checks are pretty much always 66.5% of my gross - 40 hours, 60 hours, doesn't matter. 40 is taxed at a lower rate, but my deductions come out of the 40 hours. So, it evens out. Bonus checks are usually 58% of gross.

Same here. Regular income is taxed at the stable, lower rate, and bonus is taxed slightly higher.

 

[okeydokey]

We make different choices at different times and live by those choices.

When my first child was born, I went to half time work. I worked half time until my youngest was 11 and started middle school. We lived very tightly, much as the OP described. My kids did not do pricey summer camps or dance lessons. They did scouts and school band and things we could afford.

Now I work full time and we are able to send my high school aged kids to great summer experiences and pay for extras, plus put away for college. I made the jump from part time to full time as our needs changed.

One day, the OP will most likely work full time and will have an easier time financially. While working part time, you expect to pinch pennies.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Always drives me nuts when people claim extra hours or bonuses aren't worth it because they "lose it to taxes anyway".


Edit: interestingly enough, my checks are pretty much always 66.5% of my gross - 40 hours, 60 hours, doesn't matter. 40 is taxed at a lower rate, but my deductions come out of the 40 hours. So, it evens out. Bonus checks are usually 58% of gross.

I'm not sure what the OP's salary range is, but there is another piece to this equation that we are starting to see that makes me working, as opposed to us just being a single family household, cause us to pay MUCH more in taxes. Yes, our marginal tax rate is never going to be 100% of what I make, however, phasing out of child tax credits, student loan interest deduction, and potentially education credits for our DD entering college next year hurts WAY more than just 25%. Throw in daycare for 2, and it's costing more than half my salary for me to work. Now, that other half is still significant to our budget, so still better than nothing, but OUCH it hurts during tax time.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Same here. Regular income is taxed at the stable, lower rate, and bonus is taxed slightly higher.

Dh and I both get bonuses in December, and they are not taxed for FED and State, just SS and Med only. This is generally what causes us to be writing a check to the IRS in April.

 

[Dakota731]

We lived very tightly, much as the OP described. My kids did not do pricey summer camps or dance lessons.

All those activities we think our kids need are not essential for children to have a great childhood. My generation didn't do anything when we were kids except play kickball, ride bikes, swim and camp with our families, yet I considerable my childhood to have been wonderful. Sometimes I see kids now being so stressed having to run here and there, every minute scheduled, eating in the car and no down time, for what? It's not like they will become professional dancers or pro-ball players! Let kids be kids and figure out how to entertain themselves.

 

[eliza61]

All those activities we think our kids need are not essential for children to have a great childhood. My generation didn't do anything when we were kids except play kickball, ride bikes, swim and camp with our families, yet I considerable my childhood to have been wonderful. Sometimes I see kids now being so stressed having to run here and there, every minute scheduled, eating in the car and no down time, for what? It's not like they will become professional dancers or pro-ball players! Let kids be kids and figure out how to entertain themselves.

I don't think anyone is saying kids "need" them but is that the bar we raise our kids too? Only getting what they need? I think that's the "contentment" part of it.

Would I be content only providing my kids with food and clothing? that's really all we need to survive. No I would not. as I said many times IMO there is a big difference between only "making it" and "living". I totally admit, I want my kids to live and experience and whether we want to admit it, those things require money. Now you swam, my kids live in a major city, in order for me to let them swim it would be a considerable cost. I wanted my kids exposed to the things that team sports give, they are valuable intangibles.
My parents signed me up for dance. I loved it, yes I knew I was never going to be a professional dancer, lol first of all when I was young you didn't see black professional dancers, all that much. maybe the Nicholas brothers on TV so going to dance class opened up my horizons.

Maybe it's how we define "contentment" that is the bigger question

 

[ilovebassets]

Am I reading correctly that you're only working 24 hours one week and 36 the next? So not even the equivalent of one full time job? If you're doing that and getting by, you're extremely lucky. Solution is if you need more money, you work more hours. Sorry to sound harsh, but that's the reality. I know many, many, many people who would love to be getting by on less than 40 hours a week!

I have to agree with this. I work an average of 50-55 hours a week. My husband works from home, so his hours are a little more flexible and hard to count, but probably 35 hours a week. We get to do the "extras" in life because we work hard and earn the money to do so.

The fact that you are managing to raise 2 children working 75% of standard full time job without debt is incredible. But I wouldn't expect to be able to do much extra-curricular stuff like that on those hours.