Moms-would you be 'really' concerned?

[Lorix2]

Has your daughter made comments that she thinks she is fat?

I asked why she doesn't wear her GAP sweatshirt she begged me to buy, anymore and she said "because it makes me look fat". I explained that they are supposed to be a little baggy on you for comfort, etc.. (this wasn't the 1st time she has said she thinks she's fat, it's not a one time comment)

My DD is 10 and not overweight, just a little bit of a belly which I think will disappear as she gets older? Is this normal for pre-pubescent(sp?) girls? She is tall and about 72 lbs.

It's concerning me a little. I know these days, the pressure is on like crazy to be thin in commercials, CD covers, magazines, books, etc. - I just hope she's not starting to think she should look like that. She looks healthy like she is!

Any advice?

Thanks for listening

~Lori

 

[aahmom1]

I wish I knew what to tell you, she certainly doesn't sound overweight. Just make sure you tell her that so many of the women/girls on TV are too thin and most models in print are airbrushed to look thinner than they actually are.

So many of the women on TV would be more attractive if they would gain a few pounds, why they don't realize it is beyond me. Courtney Cox is a good example, she had the most beautiful face, now she just looks gaunt.

 

[Pam]

Lori,
Sad to say - but that is about the age that a girl becomes self-conscious about her looks and her body, including weight.

And you are correct, they are assaulted by images of these tall, slinky, thin models and actresses. Plus - the other girls in school, social situations seem to thrive on pointing out other's shortcomings.

My now 17 yr. old DD went through this at that exact age - and a movie about the Growing Pains actress, who in real life battled either anorexity or was bulemic, was on and we watched that together. That really opened her eyes along with a heart-to-heart talk.
Pam

 

[Toby'sFriend]

There are times when I'm really really happy that I don't have a girl. I can remember being about that age and I was convinced that I was huge. I was very tall and developed a figure before everybody else. I look back on pictures now and I think
"Wow. I didn't look bad at all!"

If it was that bad for me, I can only imagine what it is like for today's girls who go walking through the mall and see all those size 0 and size 2 clothes.

 

[Beauty]

I agree that the stores aren't helping nowdays. When I was that age clothes were geared towards a bigger person (8-14) but today those itty bitty shirts and those short shorts and straight jeans are geared towards the smaller the better.

I remember seeing pictures of Courtney Cox and also Jennifer Aniston in a magazine that showed how much weight they had lost and both of them looked better and healthier when they were bigger ... bigger meaning probably a size 8.

I think the movie about Tracey Gold is a good start if your concerned. I lost all of my "baby fat" by age 14 but I never got below a size 8.

 

[chesirechik]

Maybe the tallness has something to do with it too. I was tall for my age around then and I remember always feeling like a big oaf around the shorter petite girls. I also had the little belly.

I would just try to reinforce that she isn't overweight - unfortunately there isn't much else you can do!

 

[bsnyder]

My DD is going through this too, and she's only 8! She's not fat at all, but she is a big, tall girl....she's wearing size 10's. Her daddy's almost 6'4" and her granddaddy is over that. I'm tall and so is DH's mom. I wouldn't be surprised if Allison ends up 5'10 or more at her final height.

When she starts in on the comments, about how so and so is cute and little like Brittney Spears, I tell her that she's perfect the way she is, and that Brittney's probably hungry all the time, and how unfun would that be!

 

[CyranoJones]

My daughter went through the same thing when she was about 10. We had some talks about it. One important thing I realized was that I shouldn't criticize my own body in front of her...not a good precedent.

Now she's going to turn 19 and she whines that she's so thin. She's very petite and fine boned. I guess it's like the straight hair/curly hair thing. Most people want the opposite of what they've got.

 

[Nancy]

Oh yeah...I hear it all the time from my 3 ( ages are almost 10, 13, and 14) They stare at themselves in the mirror and are always complaining about their stomach or their rears being too big! I talk about how the doctor said their weight is just rigt for their height, but they all dance and they have some very skinny (too skinny) girls in the class. Unfounately they all wear skimpy little outfits and my girls are a bit more healthy looking and don't like to wear them. Body image is a ver tough thing at that age. I am overweight, but I make a conscience effort NOT to talk about it alot in front of them. I don't use the word diet, and I don't make comments about how anyone else looks...it' amazing how the littlest comments can be blon way out of proportion

 

[janette]

I think it's pretty normal for that age. My 11yo isn't concerned and has no reason, she's under 80lbs and about 5ft. Her sister is still a little round, about average for an 8yo and her older sis sometimes will tell her she's fat. They are built so different I do sometimes worry that the younger one will believe she needs to be as thin as sis and hope that doesn't happen.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yep I have an 11yo who is 92lbs and 59" tall. One thing I don't have in my house is a scale.

 

[CamColt]

I guess its good that she is concerned about her weight, but be sure to watch that she doesnt take it too far. We have friends of the family whose 14 year old daughter was just in Childrens Hospital in Boston for Bulimia. She got so out of control, she couldnt keep anything down. Its very scary!
In general, I think its probably normal for a girl that age to make comments like that, with all they see around them in todays society, but like I said, Id be sure to keep my eyes and ears open, and continue with the positive comments.
Good luck!

 

[Lorix2]

Thank you everyone. I do feel a little better now. I guess it is normal for them to compare themselves, etc. Glad to hear other moms have heard this before at this young age.

bsnyder - LOL! "Brittany must be hungry all the time...."

CyranoJones - very good point - I will not make comments about myself and my body in front of her.

It's so hard for these kids these days....I agree that Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston have been looking quite "guant" lately too....They were gorgeous even at whatever weight they used to be....but now, they've obviously felt the pressure to be thin. It's too bad.

Have a good day and thanks again my DIS friends