Moms(or dads) of two children

[disneymomof2boyz]

Hello to all!!
I am a mom to two wonderful sons, my oldest is 3, and my youngest is 2 (they are 11 months apart )lol My husband and I are basically debating if we want a third or not. Right now would be the perfect time to have a 3rd if we were to start trying, due to the ages of my kids.
Just wanted some opinions on the perks and downsides of having 2, and why it is that each person decided to stop at 2. I am not trying to start controversy, and I respect and love big families.
Everyone's opinion is valued....thanks!

 

[daisyduck123]

I stopped after 2, because I have both a DD & DS & consider my family complete.
If I'd had 2 boys or 2 girls, I would've tried for a 3rd child.

BTW, my sister & I are 10 months & 3 days apart.

 

[disneymomof2boyz]

Thanks for your quick reply!! I lied when I said 11 months, I actually rounded off....it's 10 months and 21 days!!!! Everyone looks at me like I'm crazy! And then they ask the brilliant question...."was it planned that way?" NO ONE plans to have 2 births in less than 365 days!

Oh, and just out of curiosity...do you get along well with your sister?

 

[Poohbug]

My husband and I had the same indecision. We wanted to have another baby but its hard because then the kids outnumber the adults. The biggest downside is finding time for all of them-really hard the first year because babies need so much time. Also everything is usually for families of four-hotels, restaurant tables, cars, etc. We decided to try for another baby and just see what happened. It turned out to be very hard to get my third boy-finally got him after three miscarriages.
All I can say now is that I'm very glad we had our third because now I have the feeling of having a "complete" family. Absolutely no question if to have another-I know I'm done. Now looking forward to the day of no diapers

 

[daisyduck123]

Oh, and just out of curiosity...do you get along well with your sister?

We get along great now. I'm the older sister.
As kids, we fought about as much as any 2 sisters I guess. (It was hard though....she got her 1st period over 2 years before I did. Sorry if that's TMI).

 

[staci]

We are in the same boat. We have our two and while others think since we have a boy and a girl we are 'done' I am not so sure. Some days I think there is no way we are done, and some days I think there is no way I can juggle a third!

I will be watching this thread!

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Hey - I have two wonderful (sometimes ) baby girls, 3 and 18 months. I love my babies more than life itself, and I don't know what I would do without them. Having said that, there is no way on this earth that I would have a third right now! With my youngest being 18 months, I'm finally getting ME back again. I just started a new job, I have a few new friends, I've started dieting and excercising, and have almost lost 30 pounds... I really love where my life is right now. People say to me all the time "Don't you want to go for that BOY???" I just tell them, "Thanks, I'm good." When I had my first, I thought I wanted 10 more, I was just so full with love for her. I absolutely LOVED getting up with her night after night after night after... - a 1/2 hour feeding would be turned into 3 hours because I just couldn't put her down. When DD#2 came along, I loved her (and still do ) more than anything, but the joy of losing half a nights sleep, every night was no longer an enjoyable task for me. So for the sake of my sanity and my marriage, I don't really want another right now - but who knows what I will feel like in 5-10 years.
As for you, if you feel you can handle it, mentally, physically, emotionally and $$$ wise, then I say go for it! But you shouldn't put the age difference pressure on yourself - they will love each other and you no matter how far apart they are! Hope this helps somehow!

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I have two (ages 2 and 4) and I'm pregnant with #3... I love our little family the way it is, but we have so much love to give to a newbie. This #3 wasn't exactly planned, but I'm excited to see what this new one will bring to our lives!

 

[Matt'nMeg'sMom]

(I'm one of three kids, my husband is one of four kids.)

We stopped at two because it seems like the world is made for "families of four" -- cars, vacation packages, board games, etc.

Growing up, my family had five people -- so someone always had to sit on the hump, or sit out of the game, or be the fifth wheel. Inevitably it was my youngest brother who got left out.

 

[disneymomof2boyz]

Thanks to everyone for your responses!!

 

[DawnM]

I have 3 and love it. We are even considering a 4th (adopting a girl though, not having one. I feel way too old to have a newborn at 42!)

We had 2 bio boys and then adopted a 3rd.

I do not feel outnumbered at all.....I am the Mom! They must me!

No, it works out well. We wouldn't change a thing.

Dawn

 

[foltzy]

We have 2 a girl (Almost 3 on the 17) and a boy (10 months). We've actually not sure if we want another one or not. We've said we're happy with the 2 we have but I know when the baby is older I'm going to want another (that's what happened the first time).

 

[iheartdisney]

OK, so you asked opinions of moms of 2, but we planned on stopping at 2. One girl, one boy, 12 months apart. Then 2 years later we got a BIG suprise! But I know she was in God's plan, even if she asn't in ours!
The downsides of 3-
1. The laundry never gets "finished." I remember as a family of 4, there were times when everything was washed and put away. I don't know what happened when #3 came along, but I can't keep up!
2. Public outings- I can't keep track anymore.
3. The stroller situation. My oldest two took turn fighting over who got to ride, till I got frustrated and got rid of the double.
4. Now there is a middle. Being the middle of 3, I never wanted to have a middle child. So I just make sure he knos just how special he is, and how much we love him!

BUT, the upsides are:
1. (the biggest) having my first two so closely, and having 2 years before #3, the olders could play and keep themseles entertained long enough for me to actually enjoy having a baby.

2. We get to stay at better places since we are a family of 5!

3. everyone has a buddy- when my oldest started preschool, DS wasn't alone...now he plays with his little sister.

4. By the thrid, you have EVERYTHING. You don't have to buy ANYTHING!!!

Its a personal choice for you and your family, and its not a choice that has to be made right now. Whatever you decide, may God bless you and your family!

 

[Zeebs]

We have two boys with 21 months between them. The plan was to have three, and even though I find the first year really tough with minor PND (so far with both boys) we still plan at this stage to go for a third. I am one of three, hubby one of 5 boys !!!! We would like a girl however, if we don't get one another boy would be great, less clothes to buy Years ago a clairvoyant told me I would have two boys then a girl so maybe she was right. She has hit a few other bits dead on. We realise that things will be a lot more expensive for a family of 5, we would need a new car an extension on the house and I am originally from New Zealand where my family still live so trips home will become even more and more expensive. I have mostly fond memories of being 1 of three. I also have a very supportive husband who is probably better with the boys than I am if I didn't have him I probably wouldn't even consider it.

Kirsten

 

[donac]

As the mom of 2 boys now 23 and 18 (When did they get so old). I wouldn't change a thing. The older one was 4 before we even talked about having another. When #2 was born even though it was another son (YOu know every woman wants a little girl to spoil) I knew I couldn't do it again. Now they are grown and #2 is off to college in a few months. If we had a 3rd we would still be working on high school. It is nice to look forward to a new chapter of our lives.

 

[bedillamouse]

Hi I thought I'd just chime in here and share my experience....We have 2 girls 3 and 18 mo old. I'm the middle child of 3 girls....I always had told myself that I would never have 3 kids since I didn't want that dynamic to happen to my kids...but I think it all depends on the parents. My kids are closer together than my sisters and I (My older sister and I are 4 yrs apart and my yonger sister and I are 7 yrs apart). It's crazy and hectic right now. The thought of another makes me have panic attacks but on the other hand a thought of a boy would be great buuuttttt I didn't do well with pregnancies. They took a big toll on my body and have impacted my health going forward. I think you have to consider your own situation. The other thing is my husband travels...handling two by myself can be overwhelming but I have two hands one for each kid but I have no idea how someone handles 3 (or more) by themselves. I the moms who can do this and they amaze me. I just know myself that two is probably my limit. Plus I already figured that I will be 40 when my youngest is in Kindergarten...I never thought that I would have a kindergartener at 40. If you are unsure but have time to think about it that's what I would....just wait and see if adding another child to your family is right for you.

 

[JVL1018]

I have 2..we had thought we would have 3, I think mostly because DH and I both have 2 siblings each, but we kept putting off making a decision about a 3rd until we came to the realization that we felt complete with our 2.

We have a 3 bedroom house, so no sharing rooms, we fit in 1 hotel room, 1 restaurant booth, the worls seems built for 2x2 alot of times, it just seems easier.
But I admit if I had 2 girls first, I may have gone for the boy(and vice versa). Maybe not, but the fact that I had a girl and then a boy made that decision much easier for us.

I do have to say I am the middle child and I loved it, I think a lot has to do with being the only girl, so everyone had their special thing-oldest, only girl, baby, but I still think being the middle child was cool.

 

[Mkrop]

I grew up the oldest of three. Me and then 2 younger brothers (10 and 14 years youngers than me, mom had trouble conceiving after me) I absolutely hated it (not my DBros) but the siutation. Bc I was older I was the one left out, "oh you can ride the ride yourself bc you are older" you can sit in the chair at the end of the booth table bc you are older" etc etc.

It may be messed up but I decided than that two was the right number for me.

 

[JVL1018]

I grew up the oldest of three. Me and then 2 younger brothers (10 and 14 years youngers than me, mom had trouble conceiving after me) I absolutely hated it (not my DBros) but the siutation. Bc I was older I was the one left out, "oh you can ride the ride yourself bc you are older" you can sit in the chair at the end of the booth table bc you are older" etc etc.

It may be messed up but I decided than that two was the right number for me.

My husband is the opposite-his brothers are 10 and 12 years older than him and he hated being sort of like an only child and he informed me that should we have an oops now or in the future(our kids are 6.5 and 8.5 now), we'd really need to have another after the 'surprise' so that the baby wouldn't be all alone like he was.
4 kids!
If you knew me and my lack of patience you'd know how truly scary that thought is.
So yeah, we're DONE.

 

[hlbrink]

DH and I agreed before we even had our first child that we wanted two. Luckily, we still feel the same way and no one has dropped any hints about trying for a third. We like the ratio of one parent to one child and felt that we could financially take care of two. Plus I had two high-risk pregnancies and C-sections and am relieved that those days are over. Babies are adorable, but I'm finding out how much fun it is to have our kids get a bit older.