Mommy guilt. It never ends.

[bcbmommy]

So, I've really been wanting to take a Disney trip in late September. It seems like the crowds will be better, and we have a FD pin that I'd like to use. Here's the problem, however.... My oldest will be going to college, and won't be able to go with us. I nonchalantly asked her yesterday if she'd be upset if we went to Orlando without her. Her response? "I don't care if you go to Universal, but I'd be heartbroken if you went to Disney without me." ugh.
So, here are the choices I've come up with. 1. We just go without her ~ she'll get over it. 2. We move our trip to mid-October, and she could fly out for a few days during their mini fall break. I'm not sure I could get the free dining during that time, however, but possibly the 30% off would work. 3. Or.....we just go without her, and then I take her on a trip at a later time.
What would you do?

 

[bbak30]

If she has been to Disney a few times already then I would probably go without her and take her on a trip later.
I wouldn't move the trip to October to be honest. You have the FD pin and like that time of the year.
Unfortunately she is getting to the age where it will begin to be difficult to include her in everything. She may just have to "get over it". My parents have taken many trips without me and that started when I was still in high school!

 

[bcbmommy]

If she has been to Disney a few times already then I would probably go without her and take her on a trip later.
I wouldn't move the trip to October to be honest. You have the FD pin and like that time of the year.
Unfortunately she is getting to the age where it will begin to be difficult to include her in everything. She may just have to "get over it". My parents have taken many trips without me and that started when I was still in high school!

I think you're right ~ breaking it to her won't be pleasant, but I think she's just going to have to understand. Maybe she'll love college so much that she won't mind. lol. Wishing thinking!

 

[Thing 1]

That is soooo hard. We did take a week-end trip last year when oldest was in collage, but we worked our big trips around him. It was hard, but leaving him out really was not an option for us. We don't like heat or crowds but we made some compromises. I would not leave her out based on free dinning or money.Is there some reason that mid-october is the only other choice? Collage kids get about a month off at Christmas, we went the first week of January one year. They get Spring Break at all different times and almost always way before Easter, and they get out early May, which is a pretty nice time to go. If she could not make any of these work, then leaving her out might be easier for me. Good luck.

 

[JJZMgailey]

That is such a hard decision to make and one that I'm coming up on having to deal with myself. Our oldest will be 18 in September! I'm not looking forward to that, but I guess we all must grow up at some point. Or NOT!!!

 

[worm761]

If you feel bad then I would suggest trying to move the trip to October and fly her out for a few days. Or if you can afford it, go in September and take her on another trip later in the year. At some point, she is going to have to learn that she is an adult and Mom and Dad get to spend time doing things alone (or with the other kids) that she won't be involved in for one reason or another.

DS is 19 and DD is only 5. We took her to St Augustine and Disney last summer. DS didn't go and won't be going on our upcoming trip either. He travels with his grandpa though. He went to Disney in December and again in May without us.

 

[pigletgirl]

If you truly want to go, GO! At some point perhaps you could do a mother/daughter trip but you do what you need to do.

 

[bcbmommy]

That is soooo hard. We did take a week-end trip last year when oldest was in collage, but we worked our big trips around him. It was hard, but leaving him out really was not an option for us. We don't like heat or crowds but we made some compromises. I would not leave her out based on free dinning or money.Is there some reason that mid-october is the only other choice? Collage kids get about a month off at Christmas, we went the first week of January one year. They get Spring Break at all different times and almost always way before Easter, and they get out early May, which is a pretty nice time to go. If she could not make any of these work, then leaving her out might be easier for me. Good luck.

The reason I mentioned mid-October is because she has a 4-day weekend in the middle of that month, and I really wanted to try Disney in the Fall (September or October). She does have a month off at Christmas, but I don't want to deal with crowds. Spring Break is an idea....hers is fairly early in the month of March, so it wouldn't be too horribly busy. Decisions, decisions. lol.

 

[bcbmommy]

If you feel bad then I would suggest trying to move the trip to October and fly her out for a few days. Or if you can afford it, go in September and take her on another trip later in the year. At some point, she is going to have to learn that she is an adult and Mom and Dad get to spend time doing things alone (or with the other kids) that she won't be involved in for one reason or another.

DS is 19 and DD is only 5. We took her to St Augustine and Disney last summer. DS didn't go and won't be going on our upcoming trip either. He travels with his grandpa though. He went to Disney in December and again in May without us.

I would LOVE to spend some time in St. Augustine someday. We drove through there a few years ago, on our way to Jacksonville, and it looked so charming.

 

[bcbmommy]

If you truly want to go, GO! At some point perhaps you could do a mother/daughter trip but you do what you need to do.

This is what I'm thinking, too. Honestly, a mother-daughter trip may be a lot of fun, either right before college, or sometime midyear.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

It's all part of growing up. Go on your vacation as you wish.

 

[pigletgirl]

This is what I'm thinking, too. Honestly, a mother-daughter trip may be a lot of fun, either right before college, or sometime midyear.

Exactly. She may feel disappointed but letting her know they'll be another time she can go will help. I can tell you that once I started college, my parents took my siblings on all the vacations I wanted to do. Was a disappointed? Yes. It wasn't long though before I started my new life and really didn't care as much anymore.

 

[luvdisney87]

Once I reached college age, my parents went on many big trips without me, all places I'd never been. It's a part of growing up. I'd go and do a later trip with her.

 

[worm761]

I would LOVE to spend some time in St. Augustine someday. We drove through there a few years ago, on our way to Jacksonville, and it looked so charming.

We went to visit my in-laws who were there. We only stayed a few days. I am dying to go back! There is so much to do there that I didn't know about before being there. I am aiming for next spring to go back.

 

[SandiKB]

I am in the same boat, my eldest will be a sophomore in college, we're planning a January 2016 trip without him. I still haven't told him, oops! He's not going to be particularly happy and it kills me not to take him since the last time we went was 2007, but its literally the only time we can go.

 

[Hunterr]

She's grown. Don't feel guilty. Go. If she's already out of the house and in college, she'll not be around for a lot of things.
Just go.

 

[SmallWorld71]

Our oldest just finished his freshman year of college. We went over the Christmas holidays because it was literally the only time that all 5 of us could do it with the kids' schedules and my work schedule.
Sure, we could have gone without him. But, we wanted to go as a family and we are thrilled that our teen boys still want to travel to Disney with us. It was an amazing vacation that we will be remembering and reminiscing about for years to come.
While I get what PP's are saying, my vote is for October or another time when you can all go.

 

[kj2mom]

Sure, we could have gone without him. But, we wanted to go as a family and were are thrilled that our teen boys still want to travel to Disney with us.

This is key for me, I am treasuring every day my teens continue to want to be seen with me! I would never be able go without my child who had interest in going.

 

[Pesky]

Agree with pp that it is part of growing up. Her school schedule and later her work schedule will put her overall vacation time potentially at odds with yours and the rest of the family. But your life and the life of her siblings can't revolve around her schedule. It's a tough pill to swallow but the day is coming sooner or later. I would go and tell her you will plan another time for you to go with her as her schedule allows.

 

[bcbmommy]

Our oldest just finished his freshman year of college. We went over the Christmas holidays because it was literally the only time that all 5 of us could do it with the kids' schedules and my work schedule.
Sure, we could have gone without him. But, we wanted to go as a family and we are thrilled that our teen boys still want to travel to Disney with us. It was an amazing vacation that we will be remembering and reminiscing about for years to come.
While I get what PP's are saying, my vote is for October or another time when you can all go.

I absolutely hear what you're saying, and I do agree that our time is limited with having all 6 of us go as a family. What makes this decision a bit harder, however, is that the last time we went to Disney, and our last trip to Universal just a couple months ago, she spent more time in the hotel room than she did going to parks or out to eat with us. It makes us a bit resentful, especially when that bump in price from 5 people to 6 is rather significant. I love her dearly, of course, but she isn't the most tolerant person in the world, and I have to take that in consideration when vacation planning.
I'm really leaning toward going in September without her.