"Mom, I'm the ugliest kid in school"

[wvjules]

"everyone else is prettier than me."

Self confidence issues at 7!?!?!? I was floored. I wonder where it came from? I told her that she was beautiful and reassured her. But this saddens me. She's only 7.

 

[debster812]

And, from the pic in your siggie--she IS beatiful

 

[becka]

It is sad that kids start feeling that way at all especially at such a young age.

From that picture in your clipart I would have to say that her statement is the furthest thing from the true. You daughter is beautiful.

 

[MrsPiglet]

i have to agree. Your daughter is beautiful.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Oh that's so sad. Your DD is such a cutie. Some nasty kids must have said something.

We have already been through diet issues with DSD who is now 11. She is a perfect weight and was then too but she was eating so little and being so careful about what she ate. Luckily she seems to be past that now.

 

[Boo'sMom]

kids are so mean.....
she is adorable....

 

[peg2001]

It happens EARLY. My DD6 is convinced that she isn't very attractive because she has straight hair. She loves curly hair. I tell her regularly that she is cute and pretty along with smart, strong, tough, sweet, considerate, etc. Unfortunately, it only takes one less than nice comment from someone else for their self-esteem to come crashing down.

BTW, your DD is obviously wrong, as everyone here is posting. She is beautiful. Let her know that we all think so!!

Peggy

 

[Lorix2]

oh I hate hearing that She IS beautiful!

My DD is going thru that right now. She's 10 1/2 and feels like a third wheel, unattractive, fat (she's got that belly) and all we can do is reassure her like you are doing and hope she'll realize just how beautiful they are inside and out.

 

[LvsTnk]

Peggy,

DD 14 has the Curliest hair and hates it lol! She has just now been able to style it herself in some cute do's.

These poor kids if only they could see how beautiful they are without going through all of this

Your DD is sooo cute!

 

[ennazus]

Some nasty kids must have said something.

They are probably trying to boost their own low self esteem by trying to knock your DD down.

 

[lil mermaid]

Jules,

That would have floored me too. 7 seems so young to start worrying about looks.

Judging from the picture in your signature, she is an exceptionally beautiful child (of course, I am sure you know that )

 

[tkd lisa]

Girls can be soooo cruel! We've battled the self esteem issue as well. My DD is less about looks and more about relationships, because she's a difficult kid, but it's not any easier to hear "noone likes me, they call me a retard" than comments about looks.

There was a thread here a while back about the American Girl books on a healthy girl's image. It's "The care and keeping of me" and "The care and keeping of you". There's lots of information about positive self image. Also, is there any positive social group like Girl Scouts or 4H that would help her?

I got my daughter into a different girl scout troop, and met with the girls and the leaders to discuss how to deal with DD's behavioral issues. She's still not an angel, and she disrupts things occasionally, but the girls know the right way to tell DD when she's being a pain, and she's much happier now.

 

[Keli]

I'm so sorry that your dd is feeling so badly about herself. My dd went through a smiliar situation but she was quite a bit older than your dd (about 11-12 yrs). Ashli came out of it when she hit her early teens and saw that as many boys liked her as anyone else. How come one pimply-faced young man saying something like "She's hot" holds more weight with an early teen girl than years of her mother saying "You are beautiful"?

 

[Teejay32]

I don't even have sigs turned on and I remember what a cute kid she is. Kids can be mean....but I have a 7-year old too and I think they just naturally compare themselves to others and come up short. If they have short hair they want long hair, and if they have long hair they want to be blond. My sister who had both always wanted curls. Etc.

Tell her the DIS people think she's beautiful, and we're never wrong.

 

[Robinrs]

This is so sad, jules, especially for such a living doll as your dd is!

Self esteem is such a shaky thing. I agree with Keli, it's sad but true that little girls need a "male" to convince them and Mommy's words sort of sound like an echo to them.

I remember telling my son when he was as young as 4 that girls need to be "validated" and you, my child, are the validaTOR. He's taken it and RAN with it.

He takes time to make sure that a little girl who does not feel "pretty" DOES feel pretty. He tells them that their shoes or clothes are nice, or notices their hair. He compliments them on their smiles and friendliness and does this regularly. The result, well... can I say the little girls in his school just LOVE him????

He does it for his teachers, too, and not just the young, pretty ones, but the older ones, too. Helps with grades!

I know what she's feeling, and 7 is not too young from what I've seen. In 2nd grade my son's classmate and her sister had their Mom dye their hair BLONDE because they wanted to be "pretty"!

It is sooooo sad.

 

[wvjules]

I did ask her where she heard that or if anyone said anything to her and she said no that it was just how she felt. In a way I wish it would have been someone saying something to her. It seems like that would be easier to deal with.

When she gets home tonight I'm going to make her listen to "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. She knows the song and what it is about. I just think she may need a reminder.

 

[Beauty]

Oh Jules she is gorgeous!! I'm so sorry she is going through this! Kids can be so mean sometimes!! Just keep reassuring her that she is beautiful. At this age I've found that one day kids can hate each other and then the next day they are all best friends. {{{HUGS}}} to you and your gorgeous DD.

 

[Gail T AGAIN]

I don't think it matters how many times her mom or dad or people on here say she is pretty it is hard when kids at school say something or when she looks at others like they are pretty and she isn't. Imagine 7 yrs old, that is why even us women in our 30 and 40s have a complex with our looks and bodies. I hope she grows out of that stage, she is so cute, but my words are not enough to give her that extra confidence she needs.

 

[pw2pp]

I remember when I was about her age, daydreaming that I looked like a girl who was in my class (she was petite and pretty), I thought I was fat and ugly.
Most of us go through that sort of thing some time or other in our lives. Fortunately, as we grow older, we find our self-esteem in the things we DO (being a good friend to others, personal accomplishments, etc....), rather than finding it simply in the way we look. That is the self-esteem that lasts a lifetime.

I'm not sure but there may be some books out there geared toward building a child's self-esteem. Maybe if you do a search at barnesandnoble.com? Search under the childrens section under "self esteem"?
Good luck to you and your daughter, Jules.

 

[nativetxn]

It is so sad that our children are so concerned about beauty or lack thereof at such a young age.

I think your daughter is beautiful, what a great smile she has.

Katholyn