Mistreated by teacher

[CEDmom]

That is totally unfair. Because I send my kids to public school I hold the teachers to a lesser standard than you do? That I expect that they will be mean to my children and disrespect them? That is one of the most ridiculous things I have read on the DIS in a long time, even with the smile.

I have to tell you I actually thought along the lines of the OP on this. I went to a fancy private school where the tuition is now close to $20k. My DD goes to public school. I wouldn't tolerate mistreatment of a teacher in any school. However, I'd be a lot quicker to bring ineffective teaching to the attention of the principal if I was paying private school tuition only because something could actually be done in the private school setting. In public schools it's very difficult to get rid of a bad teacher. We solved the problem of bad teaching by moving to a top district in our state.

For the OP, does your DD know you have an appt with the Principal? If not, in the event some of this is made up she'll likely change her story once she finds out.

 

[Chicago526]

Huh. I didn't get the vibe that the OP was putting down public schools at all, just that at 20K a year, you wouldn't expect to run into these kinds of problems. I don't see how anyone got that she implied public school parents don't hold the schools/teachers to a high standard.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I hope your meeting with the Principal goes well, but I hope there's more to this situation than just the appearance of a "mean" teacher and some vague reverse discrimination accusations.

 

[magical4us4]

I have to tell you I actually thought along the lines of the OP on this. I went to a fancy private school where the tuition is now close to $20k. My DD goes to public school. I wouldn't tolerate mistreatment of a teacher in any school. However, I'd be a lot quicker to bring ineffective teaching to the attention of the principal if I was paying private school tuition only because something could actually be done in the private school setting. In public schools it's very difficult to get rid of a bad teacher. We solved the problem of bad teaching by moving to a top district in our state.

For the OP, does your DD know you have an appt with the Principal? If not, in the event some of this is made up she'll likely change her story once she finds out.

Thank you for your understanding. Yes, my daughter does know we have an appointment with the Principal. Also, she heard me talking to one of the faculty on the phone last night, and that teacher spoke to her this morning to comfort her and tell her that she didn't do anything wrong all year, and that the teacher is going through something in her private life

 

[mickeyboat]

I have to tell you I actually thought along the lines of the OP on this. I went to a fancy private school where the tuition is now close to $20k. My DD goes to public school. I wouldn't tolerate mistreatment of a teacher in any school. However, I'd be a lot quicker to bring ineffective teaching to the attention of the principal if I was paying private school tuition only because something could actually be done in the private school setting. In public schools it's very difficult to get rid of a bad teacher. We solved the problem of bad teaching by moving to a top district in our state.

For the OP, does your DD know you have an appt with the Principal? If not, in the event some of this is made up she'll likely change her story once she finds out.

I agree with you as far as the effectiveness of getting rid of a terrible teacher in a private school setting. But I really don't think that is what the OP is getting at here. If I were the OP, I would not even mention the "I'm paying good money to this school and I demand you do something about this teacher" routine. If the school is as good as the OP says it is, I bet there is a whole waiting list of parents who would love to throw their $ at that school.

Bad teachers are everywhere! Kids need to learn to deal with bad teachers and bad people their entire lives. However, there is a line where I would not allow a bad teacher to teach my child - whether or not I paid tuition. But before I storm into the principal's office, I would take due diligence to 1) make sure my child's story makes sense - which in this case it is plausible since the OP says other parents and teachers have seen the same behavior; and 2) talk to the teacher before I went to the principal.

Denae

 

[Crankyshank]

I don't see the problem in being told

not call out again unless she wants to answer the question!

Sorry - if you're going to interrupt the class, you need to have a reason. If your daughter came up with a different answer, she should have followed through on speaking up so she could be corrected if needed.

 

[Bichon Barb]

I'll probably get flamed for saying this, but whatever happened to teaching kids to respect their teachers? I mean, it would be one thing if the teacher was physically or verbally abusing your child, but to talk about how your child "hates" his/her teacher and accuse the teacher of racism based on something you didn't even witness or speak to them about?

Why not tell her just to be pleasant and respectful and suck it up?

 

[Goofyluver]

Also, she is african-american and favors the african-american children in the class and all of her daughters friends, because her daughter is also in the same school and same age as my daughter (11).

I'm sorry that your daughter is having issues in her classroom. It's horrible that children ever feel singled out. However, I was slightly put off by this comment that you made. If she were caucasian, race probably would never have been brought up. I would hope that we are past blaming things and people's behavior on their race.

 

[magical4us4]

I don't see the problem in being told

Sorry - if you're going to interrupt the class, you need to have a reason. If your daughter came up with a different answer, she should have followed through on speaking up so she could be corrected if needed.

She didn't interrupt the class, everyone had to yell a yes or a no, my daughter yelled out a yes and the teacher didn't let her answer it with a "Why do you think so" or "please explain your answer". It was more with "Why are you even bothering".

 

[sajetto]

OP teachers are notoriously catty amongst each other and I wouldn't buy a thing that anyone tells you about the status of someone's employment. I can swear to you that a principal is not going to share the difficulties she has with another staff member among the other employees.

Secondly, the principal isn't going to take your claim seriously for a moment. Sure she'll act like it, but she's not going to. You know why? Because you didn't handle it with the teacher FIRST! Good luck because you'll need it

 

[magical4us4]

As I have previously said, this is an on going problem that the school has faced with all year. This is not just happening to my daughter in class, it is happening to quite a few.

Whether it is racism or something else, it is being taken care of. Also, to let those who think I am racist, I am a child from immigrant parents, and I had to deal with racism all my childhood life and still till this day! So please don't flame me on this topic. I would be the last person in that school to be racist or anywhere in the whole world.

For those who sent kind words, thank you.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

and what did the Teacher say when you asked her about this event?

 

[magical4us4]

And I did handle it with the teacher at first.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Also, to let those who think I am racist, I am a child from immigrant parents, and I had to deal with racism all my childhood life and still till this day!

Who said you're a racist? I just think it's dangerous waters to tread in by accusing someone of racism, reverse or otherwise.

 

[Goofyluver]

I personally was not calling you or anyone else a racist. My point was that if the teacher were not African American, race would not have been mentioned at all. What also upsets me, is that this was referred to as reverse racism by another poster. Racism is racism, no matter who it is coming from. By referring to supposed racism from someone of African American dissent as "reversed racism", this is in fact directing a sort of racism at them as well.

 

[missypie]

The school year is about 2/3 of the way over, if not more. She needs to tough it out. If there truly is racial discrimination, then your daughter is having an opportunity to "walk a mile in someone else's shoes..." Not everyone gets that opportunity. If she has a white teacher in the future who "favors" white kids, maybe she'll notice it and realize that it's wrong.

It is always interesting when someone doesn't like a child that others adore. My youngest child is beloved by almost everyone...she has red hair, freckles and a very bubbly personality. Everyone has LOVED her her whole life....except that the head coach at her gymnastics gym (where she spends tons of time) has never liked her all that much. As long as she isn't abused, I don't think it's all that bad for her to be around someone who doesn't think she hung the moon.

There was a guy in my law school class who was outstanding in every way....Editor in Chief of the Law Review, on the Moot Court Board, great grades, heck of nice guy....everybody loved him. Except, for some reason that we never understood, our Trusts teacher couldn't stand him. The teacher picked on him constantly, made fun of his name, was very cruel. The guy survived it and is very successful (but it's a good thing his MOM wasn't there to witness the treatment!

 

[JadenLayne]

I'm sorry that your daughter is having issues in her classroom. It's horrible that children ever feel singled out. However, I was slightly put off by this comment that you made. If she were caucasian, race probably would never have been brought up. I would hope that we are past blaming things and people's behavior on their race.

In a perfect world but believe me if you come to Mississippi you will see HUGE reverse racism. Don't get me wrong I am sure there are plenty of whites that are racist still here but the absolute hatred of whites by blacks is so common. I can't tell you how many black teachers have been repremanded for preference to their own race here. I'm just stating facts. Reverse racism IS VERY ALIVE and VERY WELL! I guess it's easier for people who are living in the same environment and seeing what the OP is talking about to understand that she isn't trying to come off racist she is just telling the simple truth.

 

[Crankyshank]

She didn't interrupt the class, everyone had to yell a yes or a no, my daughter yelled out a yes and the teacher didn't let her answer it with a "Why do you think so" or "please explain your answer". It was more with "Why are you even bothering".

Then why did you say
"Yesterday she asked the class a question on a problem and my daughter's answer was different from everyone else. When the teacher asked her why - in a very can't be bothered way and mean way, my dd said to never mind and changed her oponion. My daughter says that she told her to not call out again unless she wants to answer the question! And it was told to her by staring away from her in a very mean, hatred looking face"

Either she asked your daughter why and your daughter said "nevermind I mean no", or she didn't let her answer. Which is it?

When you go to the Principal you need be very clear and very specific. No mean faces or tones, or mentioning of discrimination based on color. If you are not calm, rational, and specific you will likely thwart any movement to get rid of the teacher, if she truly is on the verge of being fired.

 

[Goofyluver]

In a perfect world but believe me if you come to Mississippi you will see HUGE reverse racism. Don't get me wrong I am sure there are plenty of whites that are racist still here but the absolute hatred of whites by blacks is so common. I can't tell you how many black teachers have been repremanded for preference to their own race here. I'm just stating facts. Reverse racism IS VERY ALIVE and VERY WELL! I guess it's easier for people who are living in the same environment and seeing what the OP is talking about to understand that she isn't trying to come off racist she is just telling the simple truth.

Please refer to my previous post on my feeling of calling it "reverse racism". And, I do sympathize with the OP. I don't feel that I need to reveal my race in order to state that I have been discriminated against myself. I agree with you Jaden that racism is alive and well in our country. But, it comes from a multitude of places and a multitude of people.

 

[JadenLayne]

I agree with you Jaden that racism is alive and well in our country. But, it comes from a multitude of places and a multitude of people.

I totally agree. I think what we see and what we feel depends on where in the country we are. Where I live Black on white racism is much worse then white on black. It may definitely be different elsewhere. It's sad that it has to exsist at all.