minor vent ahead...

[cepmom]

this is very minor but it's been bugging me a bit and I need to get other's opinions...I am in school ultra part time (only one class, but it's Anatomy and Physiology so it's challenging)I spend a lot of time studying and preparing for exams etc so i can get the best grade possible.

When people ask me if I can attend an event, or babysit their kids or work for them, and I tell them no, I have to study that day, I get the feeling they think I am just giving excuses. I'm not, really! I really do study all day on Sunday, Tuesdays, Fridays etc...basically whenever I can fit it in especially when there's an exam that week.

My MIL wanted me to go to her fashion show fundraiser on Sunday afternoon and I told her I could not because I study all day on Sundays (well, from 1-5 when the library is open) she was not pleased.

My friend called today and asked me to babysit her son tomorrow and take him to an appt so she could go skiing for the day. I tell her I have an appt at school then I am studying all day since I am working today. She says "what time is your appt? He can stay with older DD14 when she gets home from school." I'm like, what part of "I'm studying all day" do you not get? it doesn't matter what timemy appt is, I have to study.all.day!

Does that really sond like lame excuse? Maybe I should just stick with"sorry, I have other plans"

UGH! thanks...vent over!

 

[tlbwriter]

Never give pushy people a reason, because that gives them something to argue against. And if they can "negate" your reason for saying no, they will be convinced that you have no right or reason to say no. Just say "Sorry, I can't do that."

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don't see anything wrong with saying that's your study time. How else are you supposed to pass the class?

 

[Handbag Lady]

Stick to your guns and just keep saying you can't help them. It isn't their business why you can't help them (I do get these people are your friends) but they should know how important school is to you.

Try not to feel bad, but just say no. There isn't anything wrong with you!

 

[starrzone]

It only sounds like a lame excuse to a)those who have never been in the position where they've had to study hard to do well, or b)to those who are in their own little world and think that everyone can and will go along with their plans! I have 90% of a Bachelor of Science degree completed, and have taken Anatomy and Physiology (along with almost every other Science course under the sun!); I really, REALLY admired the working moms in my classes like you who managed to do really well.

I agree with the other posters in that the study time is necessary! I think a "I apologize, but that is my study time", or something like the other posters have suggested, should be enough. If not, then she must be an a)/b) combo! Good luck with your course, btw!

 

[laurie31]

A&P is brutal! I studied all the time for that, and I was one of those kids in high school who got A's without ever studying.

If people don't get it, just say you're sorry, you have plans already. You don't have to say what they are.

People obviously think that whatever THEY want to do is more impotanat than you passing this class, or more likely they think that taking just a few hours or whatever to help them won't affect your bottom line, but yes it will. Stick to your guns! The money you'd lose, not to mention the frustration of retaking the class, is not worth someone's day of skiing!!

Good luck with your studies!

 

[dzorn]

No. is a complete sentense. No need for any other explination.

Denise in MI

 

[okeydokey]

Your time, your decision, your business. Too bad for them if they don't get it.

 

[RitaZ.]

You don't have to feel guilty. Your time is valuable whether you spend it studying or scratching your head. Just say no and do what you have to do.

A&P requires a lot of studying if you want to get a good grade. When I took A&P, I put on weight from all the hours of studying and inactivity. I wasn't happy about it. Are you taking the lab course with it? That lab was a 1 credit course, but, IMO, equivalent to a 3 credit course.

 

[sue_gowin]

I agree that "No" is a complete sentence. It's really no one's business what you're doing, and why you have to say no. I'm one of those people that really couldn't care less what people think of me. I stay tru to myself, and if people don't like it, they can "you know what". Have I lost friends? Sure....but the people who have stuck around are the most loving, understanding, wonderful people I've ever met. Just stick to your guns. If you still feel guilty, perhaps explain to people your weekely schedule, and that you're not availavle EVER on this, that, and the other day. Maybe if they know your schedule, and how adamant you are about it, they may back down a bit.
Good luck!

 

[golfgal]

I can't believe that your friend thinks her ski trip is more important than your class . I would think that studying is a perfectly good excuse but I would just tell people you have other plans since obviously they don't get it. If they ask "what time" I would just say pretty much all day.

 

[DisneyChula]

I agree that a simple "I'm sorry, but I'm not available" should be perfectly acceptable. You shouldn't have to explain why you are not available and friends and family should understand that. It's not like you're blowing off family functions or plans made in advance to go, for example, skiing. This is school we're talking about - no matter how many classes or credits it is - each class is important! Good luck with your class and don't let this bother you!!

 

[cepmom]

thanks guys...you are the best! I don't feel so bad now...I mean, I don't feel bad about saying no because I have to study, I just think people don't "get" it and think maybe I am making up excuses to get out of something I don't want to do.

A&P is brutal!! I have never taken a class this hard before and it really takes up al lmy free time. Good thing is, I almost done with it!! 6 more weeks then A&P is over for good!

 

[tlbwriter]

I just think people don't "get" it and think maybe I am making up excuses to get out of something I don't want to do.

They probably don't get that you need to study, but even if they do get that, they don't get that you have a studying schedule. They are assuming that even if you DO need to study for 4 hours on Sunday, you should be willing to do your studying in the morning so you can take care of their needs in the afternoon.

 

[cepmom]

They probably don't get that you need to study, but even if they do get that, they don't get that you have a studying schedule. They are assuming that even if you DO need to study for 4 hours on Sunday, you should be willing to do your studying in the morning so you can take care of their needs in the afternoon.

perhaps...I wish I could do that, but studying at night is too hard for me (too tired) and I work out in the morning so afternoons it is!

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Like PPs have said, don't even bother giving them a reason. Just say "No that doesn't work with my schedule that day." You do not have to justify not being at their beck and call.

 

[onelilspark]

Eh, sometimes I tell people "I'm sorry, but I have plans already" when "my plans" include sitting in front of the TV for a little me time.

So...whatever. I'd just start telling people no and be vague if they're going to give you a hard time. Just because they ask you to do something doesn't mean you need to say yes!