Minister question emergency

[EpcotSweetHrts0512]

Well after being rejected by Reverend Knox as well (seriously, we have ONE Wiccan ritual we want, we're not baby eating cultists dangit) we almost gave up. Then we finally got ONE positive response from Reverend Tim Herring. Thanks to those that recommended him! He'll be officiating our wedding now. You all were a great support with this little drama for me by letting me vent so thanks!!

Yay! I'm glad you finally got somebody! Seriously, the "extreme religious" comment was uncalled for...

 

[PipesofLirael]

I think people should take this story with a grain of salt. Many of the ministers I contacted specifically state on their websites that they do interfaith ceremonies. Those of minority religions may want to consider that our religions don't count under "interfaith". It's really unfair that they can advertise like that then rule I'm not good enough to count under that heading.

 

[vfinder1]

What is the name of the minister that was removed? I hope its not mine

 

[PipesofLirael]

I hate to mention names, but just b/c I really don't want anyone else to deal with this...her name is Jo Ann. I'm pretty sure she's no longer on the current officiant lists as my wedding planner told me Monday she had been removed.

 

[Skylarr29]

I've seen a hand fasting ceremony (not at Disney) and it was lovely. I don't think it is extreme at all.

 

[Lorelei528]

The thing is...Rev. Miller does do handfastings...so I really don't get his comment...

 

[Tink&PirateMama]

We had a handfasting in 2000! It was beautiful. I wouldn't say it was Wiccan, although I believe both Wiccans, Pagans, Christians, and Atheists all have used it before? Probably more religions than that? I thought of it as traditional Celtic, I don't really know. I'm surprised an interfaith minister would freak out about it? Even if it was only for Wiccans, isn't that part of being interfaith?? Really! Some people!!

What I did, and thought you might want to have this idea- is I embroidered a ribbon with our initials and the date that was used to actually tie our hands. Then I had a small momento from my grandmothers wedding sewn on. It is hanging in our bedroom attached to a celtic knot art work- it's just so meaningful to have that.

There are some books out there on handfasting, and websites too. I think you can do it in a lot of different ways. I'm surprised, and sorry to hear, you had such negative feedback for it! The first person we asked about it was totally fine with it, as it had always been what I had wanted for our ceremony. I'm so glad you found someone though! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions! And goodluck and congrats!

 

[PipesofLirael]

I love that idea for the ribbon. My grandmother took her dress apart and kept the fabric. I'm thinking of maybe taking a piece of that for the ribbon I'm getting made. Thanks for the tip!

I'd like to think everything works out for the best, so maybe this was for a reason so I could get Rev. Tim.

Maybe Miller thought it was extreme b/c I said the word Wicca? I mean, I wanted to just warn him, I didn't want to spring my religion on him later. Maybe I should've hidden it? But, then again, why hide your religion at your own wedding, right?

 

[Tink&PirateMama]

I'm glad you like it- using her ribbon sounds lovely!!

I think you're right, it will all work out as it should be. And I think you were right to use Wicca, if that is your religion, you should definitely not hide it to the minister! Definitely their problem not yours!!

Keep us posted!

 

[PipesofLirael]

Alright this is getting ridiculous. Yesterday, I have Teresa Knox respectfully decline to help me as they can't participate in a Wiccan ceremony. Today, Rev. Knox sends an email with details about his services. Is it just me, or is it really mean to send me through a loop going back and forth on whether or not they're willing to help me with my ceremony? I don't mind the rejection but yes/no/yes/no is really not the emotional psychosis I want to deal with when it comes to my wedding...

 

[Lorelei528]

What if you just tell them what you want in the ceremony (handfasting, broom jumping and don't mention Wicca at all?) That's what I did (though we're not doing any pagan parts to the ceremony, we originally were.

When they asked about religous backgrounds I just told them what are families were and we're both spiritual, but not religous per se....

It is unfortunate that just the word Wicca even though it is a religion makes people feel uncomfortable or afraid.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this!!

 

[PipesofLirael]

It's my fault for using the word Wicca. I should've just hidden it. I've just gotten so sick of hiding it that I decided to be upfront and this is what it got me. And it's not like I can go back now and say "just kidding, I had a conversion moment!"

 

[Lindsay22]

My best advice would be to find a completely non-demoninational officiant. A christian minister won't perform a wiccan ritual. They just won't. It has nothing to do with you.
My uncle was supposed to perform our ceremony and had to back out. My sister was able to become an ordained minister via the internet. If I did not find an officiant, she would have performed my ceremony.
Is there a wiccan minister you can find?

 

[PipesofLirael]

A Christian minister may not normally, but when you are advertising on your website that you do interfaith weddings, it's really unfair to not mention that there's only certain faiths you consider. When I read interfaith, I thought it meant ALL faiths, only now I see I was quite mistaken in my assumption. I know many brides doing interfaith ceremonies with these ministers, so I suppose their religions count as real religions while mine does not. Oh well.

We were hoping to get someone on the list and so avoid adding a minister to our guest list. We're booked with Rev. Tim Herring now and are basically making it as generic and secular as possible. I really don't want to fight anymore and would rather have a small religious ritual when I come back home than add the insane amount of money to my guest list.

 

[Tiggerific04]

I just wanted to warn you about Rev. Herring. He told me he was flexible and could do whatever I wanted, but when I wanted to change the wording of the vows (All I wanted was to have him recite the "Do you so-and-so take so-and-so..." and DH and I both say "I do" -- nothing crazy!) he told me that I was "not very smart" and refused to do it. This was 4 days before we left for FL for the wedding. He is not good with communication either and does not answer questions. He also refused to give me a copy of the ceremony in advance.

When I called DFTW in a panic to find a new officiant, I was told that they receive numerous complaints about him and the woman I spoke to said she didn't even know why he was still on the list because they have so many problems with him. In fact, I was reluctant to tell her which officiant it was, and she said, "Let me guess. Rev. Tim?" She was not even remotely surprised.

I used Pastor Sigfried Jaegar and he was wonderful. He performed the ceremony exactly as I had requested and was very sweet.

 

[hiwaygal]

It is extremely disappointing to hear about the responses of the various officiants to your request. Unfortunately, I agree with you that had you called it something other than Wiccan, they wouldn't have had a problem. If, in fact, you had said you wanted a Celtic tradition added, there would have been no issue.

We used Rev. Kevin Knox and I just reviewed his "ceremony planning kit" because I was almost certain he mentioned the hand-fasting ceremony in his kit but I was mistaken. The hand fasting is, however, VERY similar to the 'Blessing of the Hands' that IS included in his packet.

Being slightly vague about your religion doesn't seem fair, but to get what you want you might want to consider calling it a Celtic tradition rather than a Wiccan one...

 

[princess22]

I just wanted to warn you about Rev. Herring. He told me he was flexible and could do whatever I wanted, but when I wanted to change the wording of the vows (All I wanted was to have him recite the "Do you so-and-so take so-and-so..." and DH and I both say "I do" -- nothing crazy!) he told me that I was "not very smart" and refused to do it. This was 4 days before we left for FL for the wedding. He is not good with communication either and does not answer questions. He also refused to give me a copy of the ceremony in advance.

When I called DFTW in a panic to find a new officiant, I was told that they receive numerous complaints about him and the woman I spoke to said she didn't even know why he was still on the list because they have so many problems with him. In fact, I was reluctant to tell her which officiant it was, and she said, "Let me guess. Rev. Tim?" She was not even remotely surprised.

I used Pastor Sigfried Jaegar and he was wonderful. He performed the ceremony exactly as I had requested and was very sweet.

Oh NO! Now I'm nervous. That's who I have booked!

 

[PipesofLirael]

Damnit. I already made a deposit....

 

[Tiggerific04]

Damnit. I already made a deposit....

I had paid a deposit as well. Like I said, it was only 4 days before we were leaving. I emailed him and told him that I didn't think he was a good fit for my ceremony and that I would like a refund. He sent us a check almost immediately. There was another bride on here who had a similar problem prior to my situation and he had refunded her without any problems also.

 

[PipesofLirael]

Oh, well that's something else.

I'm contacting the minister you used and seeing if I can get him for our ceremony. Thanks so much for the help!