Mini vent - Family forgot husband's birthday yet again - (They called pg2)

[Hillbeans]

Thanks everyone for your kind replies.

If his family does call today (or tomorrow) you can bet in as nice of a way as I can make it, I will mention that his birthday came and went and no one remembered.

 

[hilaryduffrocks]

my in laws never send a card for any holiday or birthday-but i keep sending them cards??? even dd11 gets left out.......my sis in law acts like that's normal.....she get's a card and 20.00 on her day and her hubby does also, his b-day is a couple days before mine????
not sure why people act like this????? sis in law has no kids so maybe she doesn't get how hurtful this is????? we stopped seeing sis in law #2 who has two kids because they would show dd all there toys and say did grandpa get you one too????????????????

 

[CarolA]

Maybe it's just my family, but we don't expect the spouses family to remember birthdays. So for example, my mother's family was not expected to participate in my father's birthday. Let's get real, they didn't marry him my Mom did.... Why would they be expected to celebrate his birthday? (My SIL's family seems to work the same way so I don't think it's just us.)

I send a card for my brother's birthday and gifts for my neice/newphew.

For my birthday, it is actually up to my brother to remember (SIL is not in charge of our family gifts LOL) so some years I get a card and some years I don't.. no biggie.

Luckily for my Dad his wife does assume the responsiblity for cards. He is clueless... I have to remind him the dates for the Grandkids birthdays.


Now I can understand expecting DH's family to remember, but to expect your family to may be asking a bit much.

 

[Hillbeans]

Now I can understand expecting DH's family to remember, but to expect your family to may be asking a bit much.

I agree with this....ever since my mother passed away 2 years ago, my father is living his second childhood and only cares about himself. My mother would always send my Husband a card though because she was thoughtful and she considered my husband as part of her family.

I guess families do birthdays differently, and that's fine. All I was saying in my vent was that a phone call would have been nice and appreciated.

 

[cats7494]

Thanks everyone for your kind replies.

If his family does call today (or tomorrow) you can bet in as nice of a way as I can make it, I will mention that his birthday came and went and no one remembered.

I would do this too - gently remind them that they once again forgot DH's birthday.
That is really too bad - it probably does hurt your dh, even though he says it doesn't. I am sorry!

 

[SC Minnie]

My Dad rarely remember mine or my brothers BD-- they are only a week apart and a month before his own.

My mom will usually send DH and I cards (we share the same birth date) and put some $ in it (typically $20 each ). My Dad will acknowledge our Oct bd's at Christmas and say the gift is for bd and Christmas.

I don't expect DH's family to remember mine. One year we were on a family vacation with them during our birthday and they got a cake for him. He had to remind them it was my birthday too.

 

[Crankyshank]

My own family forgets my birthday, as well as my in-laws. They always have. It's because it's 4 days after Christmas and it's hard to compete with Jesus, Santa, and Baby New Year

My family does at least remember what week it is. I think if my brother sent me a birthday card it would be the 5th sign of the apocalypse, though

 

[QuiltTeddy]

I"m married almost 25 years. My parents and sister always forgot my hubby's (and at various times my parents even forgot mine). I gave up getting annoyed and simply remind them a week before now. I decided it's not worth the heartache it caused me when they forgot.

 

[Missy1961]

Wish your husband a happy birthday (a day late) from me!

I think his familyneeds a wake-up call. Next year, I'd email them all about 2 weeks before his birthday and go on and on about the great plans you have for his birthday--even if it's just a family dinner at home! Your family is a little less guilty in my eyes, but I don't think it would hurt to include them in the email (or phone messages as the case may be. My dad knows that email exists, but hasn't got a clue how to use it!)

I am such a birthday person--I remember everyone's birthdays, even my in-laws. I live with my dad, and we remind each other about the birthdays. He depends on me to buy the presents for the kids (there are 12 going on 13 grandchildren), but he buys the cards. And he buys the most amazing cards.

 

[Hillbeans]

Ok, this will be my last words on this subject - i'm sure some of you think i'm making too much of this and some of you know exactly where i'm coming from, but here's the update.

Apparently no, DH's parents didn't forget his birthday...they were just too busy babysitting for DH's brother and kids and it just wasn't convenient to call until this evening. *Sigh*...I think I liked it better thinking they just forgot instead of hearing her say they remembered but just didn't bother calling.

I'm going to have some serious tongue biting to do over the course of the next few weeks about this one.

 

[binny]

(((hugs)))

Been there,

I actually like what FIL does. Every year he sends an envelope full of cards for everyones birthday. Ok so it isnt the date and he may or may not remember us on the day but at least we know he thought about us.

 

[KatelynnsAuntie]

Apparently no, DH's parents didn't forget his birthday...they were just too busy babysitting for DH's brother and kids and it just wasn't convenient to call until this evening.

They couldn't take 5 minutes out of the whole day to call??? It's not a cousin for crying out loud, it's their son!!!