Mini church rant/vent

[LindsayDunn228]

First off, I understand and respect the fact that some parents would rather have their child with them during the service instead of in the nursery and/or children's church (whatever the case may be). Really I can. But parents, I think there is a fine line to having your kids in the service with you.

Here's my rant. We have been visiting a new church. There is a woman and her hubby who always have 3 kids with them: one looks about 10 or so, one about 6, and the little boy can't be older than 3-4. The oldest is well behaved and you never hear a peep from her. The next usually sleeps in her mom's/dad's lap. The 3-4 year old is the problem.

The child jabbers loudly, walks around in the row he's sitting in, pitches fits, and sreams/cries. Mom and Dad do nothing. They just let Junior do whatever he wants.

Like I stated before, it is certainly a parent's right to keep their kids out of the nursery and into the service with them, but I have to implore: PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSEEE have a little respect for those around you!!! I find interruptions like this distracting and disruptive. Sure, he's a kid, a very small one. I understand they do these things. I really do.

But when I was growing up, if you couldn't behave in "big church," you didn't get to come in there (according to my parents, not the church). And if you did misbehave, you got to take a little walk outside and get "a'talkin' to," if you know what I mean.

Yes I realize this kid is just little, but I really want to concentrate on the sermon and the service and when parents let their kids misbehave it really takes the focus off the entire thing.

*sigh* Rant off.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I agree with you. If the church has a well staffed and secure nursery and/or toddler room, this should not be the case. Our DS (7) always went to Sunday school while we were in church until just recently. Most of the parents in our church will give their toddlers a chance, but if they get too wild they will just walk out into the narthex with them so they don't distract.
Robin M.

 

[KEH]

Surely learning now to behave in certain public situations is part of growing up and soemthing we shoud try to pass onto our kids. I'm with you on this one. My kids have had their moments of acting up in public and I know how hard it can be sometimes to stop them but I like to think that I at least tried and where we couldn't deal with it on the spot, we didn't let it go but talked about it afterwards and about why it wasn't the way to behave.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Thanks so much you two for understanding It felt better just typing it out

 

[disykat]

I agree with you. I definately think children belong in church and need to learn how to behave in a church setting - but so many people don't seem to realize that they need to teach that behavior! I really respect the parents that I see training their kids - having the kids in the service with them for just a portion of it, taking them out if they are too noisy, etc.

There is one couple at our church that I know fairly well. She believes children belong in church (which I agree with), but fails to do the training part. She gets very angry if people suggest the nursery to her. I guess she figures if she ignores the behavior, it will stop. That may work if the goal of their misbehavior was to get attention, but it doesn't work for just being kids. Consequently, no one likes to sit by them!

 

[Talking Hands]

Lindsay I fully understand. It is very hard to concentrate on the preacher when a little one is disturbing others. Perhaps you can talk to the preacher about how disturbing this is and a gentle reminder can be placed in the bulletin.
at my church we are lucky to have a very secure preschool program where the child must be checked in and the parent recieves a card that matches on put on the child. No one without a card is allowed in the preschool area and the child can only be picked up by the person with a matching card. I am only allowed in when I am acting as an interpreter for a deaf parent or when dropping off my daughter's friend's child who attends church with us. (Have a matching card for her) In the elementary area it is similarly set up and they have their own worship service. Preschoolers are not encouraged to come to adult worship on Sunday but are welcome to attend Family worship that we have once a month. We also have a baby room for parents and small infants which has a glass panel so the parent can see everything happening and audio in the room ( and interpreting available for deaf parents) I actually started my interpreting in the baby room for my deaf-blind friend when her son was small and not ready to go to the nursery. Elementary age kids can either go to worship in with the adults or in the children's area. Not until they are middle school do they regularly go in adult worship on Sunday.

 

[lemondog]

Lindsay I COMPLETELY agree with you!!!

Our nursery only accepts walkers and my 16 month old twins are not walking yet so it has been ROUGH. They do not want to sit still. I finally went over there last week and begged the ladies to take them during Mass, and they agreed. Our 3yo also does not like to sit still or be quiet and during the school year we put her in Sunday School which is the alternative to Mass for preschoolers. Perfect! However, they don't have Sunday School during the summer so I spend most of Mass dealing her and trying to keep her quiet and happy. Unfortunately we are building a new church right now so Mass is in the school gym which means NO cry room for the loud kids!!! August cannot get here soon enough. The little ones will be in the nursery and my 3yo in Sunday School and I can actually get to enjoy Mass again!

 

[Jilliebean]

I couldn't agree with you more. At our church I'm amazed by the handful of parents who are oblivious to how disruptive their kids are being. What's more, our church has nursery and children's services for all ages. It seems to me that the little ones would get a lot more religious education from a church service that was geared to their age group.

 

[JudicialTyranny]

I couldn't agree with you more. At our church I'm amazed by the handful of parents who are oblivious to how disruptive their kids are being.

On the other hand, I see people at our church spend practically the entire service trying to control and "shush" their kids, so there's no possible way they could have paid any attention to the service, which is supposed to be the real reason they are there!

 

[diznygirl]

The problem is that just cuz the church provides a nursery, doesn't mean that this is a good place for the children. I sat in on the nursery several times. Unfortunately, the lady in charge has her daughter there - and this little girls is very clingy and gets jealous when mom pays attention to any other child. In addition, she is potty-training and leaves at least twice each time to take her daughter to the bathroom. There are usually 2 teenagers there as well - one slept the entire time!

The children in this nursery are not being played with. If there is a disagreement over sharing a toy, no one steps in to stop the fighting. One girl literally just sits on the floor holding her doll until her parents come back. It's really sad. It's because of this that we choose to keep our 2 year-old daughter with us in church. Sometimes we have to take her out when she gets too loud, and there are speakers outside so we can still follow along. But for us the nursery is NOT an alternative.

 

[luvmk]

This makes me appreciate our church's childrens program. We have seperate rooms for infants, 2-3 y/o, 4-5 y/o and then grade school is divided. The infant through 5 go to their class before the service starts, the grade school children go to the service with their parents. The pastor excuses the children right before the sermon so that they can go to their own sunday school classes. I teach the 4-5 group and the curriculum is very good. They are definately able to learn something in their class. Our church puts a ton of effort into the children's program and I really do think it makes a difference. All teachers have to have a background check and have to go through safety courses including what to do if abuse is suspected. I only teach twice a month and this also makes going to church more relaxing when I know my children have an appropriate place to go.


Rachel

 

[Aidensmom]

Lindsay I fully understand. It is very hard to concentrate on the preacher when a little one is disturbing others. Perhaps you can talk to the preacher about how disturbing this is and a gentle reminder can be placed in the bulletin.
at my church we are lucky to have a very secure preschool program where the child must be checked in and the parent recieves a card that matches on put on the child. No one without a card is allowed in the preschool area and the child can only be picked up by the person with a matching card. I am only allowed in when I am acting as an interpreter for a deaf parent or when dropping off my daughter's friend's child who attends church with us. (Have a matching card for her) In the elementary area it is similarly set up and they have their own worship service. Preschoolers are not encouraged to come to adult worship on Sunday but are welcome to attend Family worship that we have once a month. We also have a baby room for parents and small infants which has a glass panel so the parent can see everything happening and audio in the room ( and interpreting available for deaf parents) I actually started my interpreting in the baby room for my deaf-blind friend when her son was small and not ready to go to the nursery. Elementary age kids can either go to worship in with the adults or in the children's area. Not until they are middle school do they regularly go in adult worship on Sunday.

Our church has the same type of preschool program.

Occassionally, my son, who will be 4 next month, requests to attend service for the music. However, as soon as the worship portion is over, I take him to his classroom. It is a very rare preschooler who can sit through a sermon without causing problems.