Mind Your Own Business

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I saw something at the Diabetes Expo in April that has really been bugging me. I was inthe ladies' room and the line was out the door- we've all been there. As I was waiting, a woman in a wheelchair demanded that the door be held open for her and proceeded to the front of the line. No big deal- she can only use the one stall so I won't begrudge her that even if she could have been nicer about it. The stall was in use (of course) and she proceeded to the stall and started banging on the door and yelling "Are you in a wheelchair?" The poor old lady trying to use the toilet responded she had a walker, you could tell she was really flustered.

I felt terrible for the little old lady. She obviously needed that stall as her walker would not have fit in a standard stall, but even if she was just a little kid with no physical problems, who cares? The line was out the door and it was not this woman's job to police the stalls.

It seems that more and more lately people feel the need to correct the behavior of perfect strangers. When did this become acceptable? There was a thread not too long ago about a family who was eating and the man did not remove his ball cap because he was not aware that it was considered "rude" to leave it on. A grumpy old fart came up to him and reamed him out for it which the man found very embarassing. On the disABILITIES board we see all the time people who get accused of faking, yelled at for renting/using a wheelchair, or even told how dare they bring their handicapped child to the park.

Whatever happened to minding your own business? Awhile ago I read a Dear Abby. The woman wrote in about one of those trivial little etiquette things that nobody is really aware of anymore. She mentioned that she corrected the behavior and Abby replied that while what the young man was doing was technically wrong, the woman committed the far worse fau pas by correcting the young man's behavior. She said the purpose of etiquette is to make others around you feel comfortable and clearly that woman was not doing that. Why can't more people take that advice? Really, unless it's a safety issue or it directly affects you (like somebody cutting in front of you in line) butt out!

 

[Planogirl]

I agree with you. You see the constant need to be in everyone's else's business in every area nowadays. People need to correct others and gossip about others and whine about what someone did. I think that even celebrities are being harassed way too much. I don't care who it is, people need to mind their own business and like you said, butt out.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I agree with you. You see the constant need to be in everyone's else's business in every area nowadays. People need to correct others and gossip about others and whine about what someone did. I think that even celebrities are being harassed way too much. I don't care who it is, people need to mind their own business and like you said, butt out.

Oh my gosh! The celebrity thing drives me crazy too! I frequent the Twilight thread and the way the paparrazi has treated those stars is criminal. I really don't care if Robert Pattinson does or does not comb his hair, or if somebody belches in public (that really was a headline about a celebrity I saw). Just because they choose to act does not mean that they should expect to no longer have any privacy for the rest of their lives!

I don't care too much if people complain/vent in private. We all have things that get on our nerves, but I don't see why everybody thinks they need to correct the behavior of perfect strangers. Especially when you consider that so much of what we consider rude is a cultural or even regional thing so while rude to you it may not be rude to them.

 

[JohnsPrincess]

I too agree with this. That lady was FAR ruder than anyone else. I'll be the first to admit that I use the handicaped stalls when they're open. They're bigger...I HATE being in the tiny little stalls. And when there's a huge long line, it's rediculous NOT to use it. People really do need to just start minding their own business and perhaps practicing Do Unto Others... Or like that saying... "Be the change you want to see in the world". You can't change others, but you can change yourself.

 

[Planogirl]

I see nothing wrong with complaining a bit in private and even a bit of gossip between friends is fine IMO. I'm referring to those who carry on in public and sometimes actually right at the person that made them mad about something, usually minor. Like the lady in the restroom, many feel the need to approach strangers and tell them what they think. Why should the stranger be bothered or even care about what someone else thinks?

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I see nothing wrong with complaining a bit in private and even a bit of gossip between friends is fine IMO. I'm referring to those who carry on in public and sometimes actually right at the person that made them mad about something, usually minor. Like the lady in the restroom, many feel the need to approach strangers and tell them what they think. Why should the stranger be bothered or even care about what someone else thinks?

I see, I misunderstood your post. I agree completely.

 

[MoniqueU]

I mostly hear about stuff like this on the DIS where no one minds their own business. I guess I don't get out much. I am disabled but I am young and look normal and you would never be able to tell (at least my vanity tells me that) that I have a severe visual impairment. I have tried going out using my cane for more idependence and found that no one knows what its for, gets out of your way or keeps their kids in line. I get yelled at the same way I do as when I bump into someone so I just hold the arm of whoever is with me now, it's easier and draws less attention to me. I can feel for that poor lady in the handicapped stall I have been in her shoes so to speak. There is nothing worse then trying to do the best for yourself with what you have only to be screamed at and humiliated by someone with no compassion or thought of anyone other then themselves. I am still rattled about the time I turned and stepped on some ladies foot. I apologized up and down and she just kept screaming at me making a total scene like I had intentionally run her over. It didn't matter what I said she was the wronged party and I was scum of the earth. I left in tears.
That poor lady in the walker, people really need to realize everything is not about them all the time.

 

[Pin Wizard]

So with a long line no one should use the stall except for a handicapped person. It should be available right away for them. Ha. If she's moving to the front of the line (which is wrong in my opinion any way,) then she can wait until a person is out. Geez.

I'm pretty sure that yesterday was the first time in my life I told a coworker to butt out. I have things assigned to me, she needs to butt out and work on her own things.

 

[coolbeans]

We went to Carowinds last weekend and I took my DS (3) and his stroller in the Handicapped stall both times we used the regular restroom (till I found the family one and was in Heaven!! ) I didn't want to leave the stroller outside and if I left it in front of another stall I would have blocked the walkway in the restroom.. never thought twice about it. Wow, glad she didn't find me... the mood I was in it would have been a hoot!!

 

[Schmeck]

There's a fine line to balance on - if we didn't 'butt in' then tyrants would rule this world, from the bullying woman in the wheelchair the OP mentioned, to the atrocious Hitler.

I've always liked the quote Hilary Clinton used - it takes a village to raise a child. It takes caring and involvement to have a society. If we all just 'minded our own business' then who's going to help those that need it? Who is going to stop the bullies? How is any change going to occur?

If someone had spoken up to the bullying woman in the wheelchair, perhaps the woman using the walker wouldn't have felt so bad.

 

[bicker]

I always keep my stock reply ready: "Oh my gosh, you're so rude."

 

[AprilShowers]

There's a fine line to balance on - if we didn't 'butt in' then tyrants would rule this world, from the bullying woman in the wheelchair the OP mentioned, to the atrocious Hitler.

I've always liked the quote Hilary Clinton used - it takes a village to raise a child. It takes caring and involvement to have a society. If we all just 'minded our own business' then who's going to help those that need it? Who is going to stop the bullies? How is any change going to occur?

If someone had spoken up to the bullying woman in the wheelchair, perhaps the woman using the walker wouldn't have felt so bad.

Yes, this bolded part is what I thought immediately. Maybe if someone had corrected HER (I know it's wrong, but geez!) maybe she would think twice before verbally abusing an elderly woman next time.

I can' say for sure because I wasn't there, but I would have been tempted to tell her that she needs to wait her turn because someone was already in the stall.

 

[onelilspark]

I'm pretty non-confrontational, but there are times that my blood really gets boiling and my mouth gets the better of me. The lady in the wheelchair would have heard a few select words from me. ...Honestly, when I get riled up, I find a few select words can work better than a tirade.

For example
I was flying Southwest...oh a few years ago now, back when they had the A, B, and C lines where you could line up whenever. This couple mistakenly got in the B line when they had "C"s. Therefore, they thought that they should be able to cut in front of everyone who was in the C line...their reasoning? "We've been waiting all this time!" I was annoyed. And about 4th in line for C, so I heard and saw everything. Granted another 2 people going in front of us wouldn't have made a difference and I understood it was a mistake, but it was when they decided that they were more important than the 40 people behind me that I was irritated...no dice buddy. So I spoke up since they weren't listening to the gate agent to go to the back of the line (oh...now you're delaying my flight...AH!) "Yes, and we've been waiting just as long." I didn't have to say much, but it was enough that they realized there were people watching them and all of a sudden they were mightily embaressed!

The lady in the wheelchair would have gotten something similar from me. Many times we're too shocked by people's behaivor to speak up. And yes, if people aren't using the right fork, I'm not going to say anything, it's not bothering anyone else. But if your behaivor affects others, that person has a right to stand up for themselves and if that person is unable, then it is perfectly fine for someone else to say something...so long as it doesn't revert to name calling and nasty-ness.

 

[anniemae]

I use the HC stall all the time when I'm with dd. We simply cannot fit in the tiny stalls together and she is too young to go by herself. When I am at a store it seems the HC stall is always in use by folks without wheelchairs. I just wait until they are done, then carry on.

I don't thinkg HC stalls are reserverd just for handicapped people, anyone can use them. I do think it is okay for a handicapped person to go to the head of the line and go into the hc stall when it is available.

 

[BoyLovesBuzz]

I don't agree with this at all. If you are showing your "back-side", you are no longer deserving of simply societal courtesies or etiquette. If I had witnessed this scene and not said anything to wheel chair lady, I would be ashamed of myself.

 

[npmommie]

There's a fine line to balance on - if we didn't 'butt in' then tyrants would rule this world, from the bullying woman in the wheelchair the OP mentioned, to the atrocious Hitler.

I've always liked the quote Hilary Clinton used - it takes a village to raise a child. It takes caring and involvement to have a society. If we all just 'minded our own business' then who's going to help those that need it? Who is going to stop the bullies? How is any change going to occur?

If someone had spoken up to the bullying woman in the wheelchair, perhaps the woman using the walker wouldn't have felt so bad.

I agree that people need to MYOB in most circumstances, but I also agree with the above post. I would have been speaking up to wheelchair lady, because that could have been my elderly mom with a walker in the handicapped stall.

 

[LanaJayne]

The handicapped stalls are "handicapped accessible" not handicapped reserved.

If not one is in line needs that stall then it is open for all. Everyone is in line waiting for a stall. If someone comes into the restroom who is handicapped, then of course they should be the next to use the handicapped stall, but until they show up is shouldn't just be left vacant in case someone comes in in a wheelchair.

There are some washrooms that are only single handicapped accessible rooms. Should no one use those either unless they are handicapped?

I feel so badly for the lady in the stall, walker or not, she had every right to use the facilities.

I was in a very busy restroom this week and used the handicapped stall as it became available, even though I'm not handicapped. I had been waiting in line for about 5 minutes, with many others behind me. This restroom had 3 stalls, 1 handicapped, 2 not. The women exiting the H/A stall didn't have visual disabilities. If someone could only use that stall, of course they could have gone next. Otherwise, why should everyone else have to wait just in case someone arrived in a wheelchair?

 

[mamajoan]

there are rude people who are able bodied... rude people that are in w/c's...

I use a powerchair for public venues. The h/c bathroom stall and parking spaces seem to be an issue for lots of people. I don't understand what the big deal is ... if people would just THINK of others.. life sure would be easier. Kindness goes a long way in this life.

for those of you who allow people in w/c's priority to use the h/c stall... THANK YOU!! It is an accessible stall... not exclusive to those with disabilities.. so if there is a line.. use it with consideration, please.
In the majority of public restrooms there are more regular stalls than h/c stalls. Meaning I may have to wait for a very long time to use the h/c stall which is the ONLY stall I can utilize.. so if you can use a regular stall..please do so. It is not a party stall, a dressing room, rest area, library or a dining room.... LOL>>>LOL

and yes.. it bugs me that they put the diaper table in the h/c stall... most people do not put it back up on the wall when finished. but it is what it is.. so I just deal with it.

Have I or would I ever DEMAND to go to the front of the line?? Nope, Never...

gotta hobble... and glad to be able to still do so.

 

[Stitchfans]

There's a fine line to balance on - if we didn't 'butt in' then tyrants would rule this world, from the bullying woman in the wheelchair the OP mentioned, to the atrocious Hitler.


If someone had spoken up to the bullying woman in the wheelchair, perhaps the woman using the walker wouldn't have felt so bad.

This is the case where IMO it is ok to butt in and not mind your own business. I have step in and opened my mouth many times when I see things like that going on. Not to long ago I saw a man constantly belittling a woman in the grocery store and I had to say something. I saw two teen age boys picking on an elderly woman in a grocery store parking lot and I ran up to her acting as if she were my grandmother, and guided her away from them. That is just two examples. I will continue to stick my nose in to people's business when it comes to situations like that.

 

[momrek06]

Entitlement

Entitlement is a guarantee of access to benefits because of rights. It also refers, in a more casual sense to someone's belief that one is deserving of some particular reward or benefit. It is often used as a pejorative term in popular parlance (i.e. a 'sense of entitlement').