MIL or not?

[moobar25]

Not sure if this is the best place for this, but here goes anyways.
We have a short trip planned for end of sep/ beginning of oct for F&WF & DH birthday. It's gonna be me, DH & DD(8mo then) - staying in a studio at BLT/BCV. I've been wavering back and forth if we should invite MIL to join us. We get along great 90% of time but it's the 10% that she annoys me. DH is leaving the decision up to me b/c he'd have no problems having her join us. I don't know. Here are my pros and cons - help me decide.

Pros:
An extra person to watch DD so DH & I can go on a ride or two
DH birthday celebration - she'd love to be there
DD's first Halloween at Disney - she's the first girl in the family
Nana alone time for DD- when we went in may it was the entire DH family&friends (16 in total but separate rooms)
MIL is perfectly fine doing her own thing if too tired & such

Cons:
Small quarters- no place to get away from her if annoyed
She's a picky eater- we like new things
Can't do just what we want - must take her into account
No privacy

Oh, one more thing- we're using her DVC pts that MIL&FIL bought for the family to use. We've used pts before just DH & I. Also we're going next may with the entire DH family & friends again.

I would like to keep this trip just our little family but then I feel a little guilty not including MIL. I need advice please!

 

[2disneyboys]

If it were me, since you just did a . Trip with all and have another one planned for all in the next year, I would leave this trip just you, dh and dd

 

[Ennazus8810]

For me in Disney it is the more the merrier. I want my MIL to have as many memories of my girls in Disney (anywhere for that matter) with them as possible. My Dad died last year when my girls were 1 & 2. I cherish the times he got to spend with them, and want the other grandparents to form strong memories too.

As for alone time, there are always buses. She can get on one and go somewhere or you can. You can walk around the boardwalk and decompress to calm down too.

 

[krismanda]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[Kristian]

If it were me, I wouldn't invite my mil along given past experiences with traveling together. With that being said, I also wouldn't invite my own mother either. I know that sounds really bad, but we've had 3 different vacations basically ruined because we invited family. Of course, everyone is different and I'm sure there are many families who travel great together, but ours doesn't. My mom and mother in law aren't the type to really follow any type of plan on vacation and we are, so needless to say, it causes arguments and tension.

If you really want it to be just the three of you on your upcoming trip, then that is exactly what you should do, especially since you have at least one upcoming family trip planned as well.

Our upcoming Disney trip is actually our first trip that it will be just our little family (we've always at least taken my much younger sister, nephew, or someone) and I am so looking forward to it .

 

[RachaelA]

Since you just vacationed with her and are doing it again next year, I would vote to have one with just your husband and daughter.

Every trip is going to have "new" things that your daughter does for the first time. Sometimes its nice to just be able to do them together with just your husband and kids.

And a studio does not seem like a comfortable sleeping arrangement for 3 adults and 1 child if one of the adults is your MIL. It'd be different if it was an older child or someone like that.

 

[luvmy2babies]

Mine? Absolutely not. She’s been but not with us. Disney World is just a different type of vacation as far as I’m concerned. there are so many different ways to do it. It takes too much planning and too much money to end up doing it with the wrong people.

You had a trip with her and other family in May. You will have a trip with her and other family next May. So, you are not denying her anything. I’d do this trip with just your husband and daughter. She may be totally different on a trip with no one else to spend time with but you. I have read about these trips changing family and friendships permanently. I just wouldn’t take the chance. I would not even invite my own mother before. Now that she’s married again and would have someone else to spend time with on the trip, I would. New papa has already talked about going.

Looking back on our last trip, I think any more people would have been awful. We were there with Tropical Storm Debby. We splashed on through the three of us. I was glad I didn’t have anyone else to deal with though.

 

[ghtx]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Dorisk3]

I thankfully get along very well with my mother in law. But no way no how in a studio. I wouldn't stay in a studio with my own mother. Too small, too cramped, too much togetherness.

If she had her own room would be one thing, but sharing a studio with a baby and a mother in law would require heavy use of alcohol or xanax for me.

 

[Disneychix]

Not even my DH would agree to have his mom share a studio on vacation.
I agree with PPs, since you were just there with extended family and have plans for next year to go with them again I'd leave this trip with just you and DD, DH.

 

[Waddler]

Agreed - a studio would probably be way too cramped. I would never try to pack 3 adults in one room no matter how much I loved them.

I think it depends a lot on how good your MIL is with the baby. Will she have fun watching your LO for a few hours so you and your husband can run off and do something else? Then great! But if you think the four of you are going to stick together most of the time, I don't think the extra set of hands will be worth it.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

Not in a studio. No way would I want to sleep in the same room with my MIL or even my own mother.

 

[danceintherain]

In the plans I have in my head, the only way I would take any grandparents to Disney is if we could afford to pay for a separate room or at least a suite/cabin/1BR for them to have their own space. It just doesn't seem worth it otherwise. I have a hard enough time staying in the same house with my extended family. Sharing one bathroom and the same sleeping space just wouldn't work for me. We're almost to the point where we'll have to get a hotel when we go visit family.
We did it with family without kids in a suite (Doubletree) and it was still rough.

Ultimately, it's up to you, but with misgivings, I would probably take the trip without her.

 

[smileymomof3]

In terms of overall trip experience, I would look at how much does she help you with your baby? Will she be an asset and help with babysitting etc or more of a hindrance. I could NEVER go with my MIL! But we do not really get along and she doesn't help at all with our 3 kids. I have vacationed with my own mother at the beach and it was WONDERFUL because she plays with my kids a lot and it really gives my husband and I a little break. Good luck with your decision

 

[Happiest mommy]

noooooooo!!, I would'nt even take my mom and in a studio no way too close for comfort, take her next year and leave this trip just for your lil family

 

[bigbabyblues]

Nope. That said, I love my MIL, we get along really well, but I do not travel with anyone who doesn't live in my house.

 

[happymommy]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In a studio? With my MIL? Oh my god no way!

Should you feel guilty? Not unless you like feeling guilty.

You should just go and have fun, the three of you.

No way on earth would I share a small room with my husband, child, and his mother. Much as I love her.

Now go and have fun.

 

[mamathompson]

We went last year with MIL and we all stayed in a regular room. We had a blast! I think it depends on your family dynamics, what works for one doesn't for another. We are a "more the merrier" type. If you want it to be just your family don't take her, if you think she would add to the fun go for it!

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

Nope. That said, I love my MIL, we get along really well, but I do not travel with anyone who doesn't live in my house.

These are my thoughts too

A day trip or maybe even a 1-2 night getaway is probably my limit for bringing along extended family because there is a totally different vibe when it is a vacation; especially a Disney World vacation. I think after a couple days the nerve-meter would start to go off , just because WDW is one of those kinds of trips where everyone has their different preferences and pace with doing things; and I also find that when we bring another adult family member along for a trip or activity we really enjoy there is an added pressure to plan it so that their needs and preferences are taken into consideration and that can be a lot to deal with, especially when you are trying to plan for your own immediate family. We have contemplated having my parents or MIL come along with us so that me and DH can go out alone and take a leisurely stroll through the World Showcase or for an ADR at Jiko or California Grill, plus WDW is one of those places that make you think of how wonderful it would be if all the people you love dearly were able to experience the joy and magic WDW gives you ; but then my better judgement steps in and reminds me of what's at stake
Good luck with whatever you decide

 

[CMW0021]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I agree with this statement lol