Might be OT (not sure) - Grad party invite

[Tink-aholic]

I've been reading the invitations that other people's kids get on here for years, and I have to admit that some of them are so bad that they make me wonder if they are really true. Then I received this in my inbox. Tell me, is this as bad as it seems to me, or am I being too sensitive?

"Please join us as we convene to honour the academic achievements of XXXXXX following his graduation from XXXXX Senior High School
When: June 16th, 1pm
Where: XXXXXXX

We will be providing some food at the event; however, please feel free to bring something to contribute, so long as it is vegan (in other words, not containing any animal products). If you are unsure as to whether something is vegan or not, you may contact us. If you need suggestions so that we do not have twenty people bringing chips, again, you may contact us. Please do not feel obligated to bring something; however, it would be much appreciated if you did. Also note that we do not have a functional grill at the moment.

The party will be in the house and will probably spill over to the back yard. Feel free to bring lawn chairs if you so desire.

Please note that there are currently an overabundance of ticks in our yard. Depending on conditions in a month and a half, this may be somewhat alleviated, and we will have some bug spray, but if you deem this to be a problem, feel free to bring your own.

We have a cat (may have 2 by then). Please don't let him out.

For those that are interested, the graduation is the night before, at 7pm in the XXXXXXX.

Please RSVP so we have some idea of how many people are coming (although if you forget to, it is still okay to come) to (XXX) XXX-XXXX, XXXX@XXXXX.com, or over facebook or another social media."

I was raised that to be a gracious hostess means making your guests comfortable. I believe this can be done on any budget (borrowing chairs, putting out snacks instead of a meal, etc.), and if one really can't afford it, they shouldn't have a party at all. I would also think that if the hosts choose to only offer vegan offerings -- and they are allowing their guests to bring food -- that they can allow their guests to bring something other than vegan (it is only the honoree who eats vegan...and then only sometimes).

Also, is it really the guest's responsibility for the host's cat(s)? Shouldn't they shut them in a room or put a gate up or something?

Let me know if I am off here.

 

[RMAMom]

I think your being punked, in fact I'm sure of it!

 

[Chelley00]

Show up with steak and hot dogs, and make sure to let that cat outside. Please.

No one should be asked to bring food to a graduation party.

 

[Styx Fan]

You gotta be kidding on this one! Please say your kidding

 

[daisyduck123]

This family wants their kid to have a grad. party, but does not want to do ANY of the work. They want everything from food to furniture donated.

I'd be passing on this party.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

Thanks for sharing! That was hilarious. Some people just have no manners. I would pass on this invitation.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

I would tell them that guineas (the birds) are great tick eaters and maybe they could get a fw ebtween now nd then and let them go to town on the lawn.

 

[Tink-aholic]

This is absolutely, 100% real. I was called by another recipient today and asked if I had read it yet.

This family has always been a little odd. At the end of March, her son and my son were both on a team that won a state tournament, which leads to a much larger international competition in May. While they (team + that mom) were all out to dinner celebrating, I was home purchasing airline tickets. I called her (and other parents) and told them all what the flights were going for and if they wanted me to put them on my card for her. She agreed. I sent out itineraries and receipts to each family the same night. Within a day, I had promises to pay back from everyone except her. I waited a week to ask her about it, and she was SHOCKED to find out that I expected her to pay me back! She just could not believe that I wasn't planning to pay nearly $1K for both she and her son to go to the event.

Somehow, she managed to finagle the team organizers to offer to pay up front for her until she can raise the money, but I still haven't seen any of it...

 

[duffy]

I'd RSVP my regrets and stay home. Maybe I would get the kid a gift, but I would not attend a party under those circumstances.

 

[disprincessatheart]

So the family owes you $1000 and has invited you to a party where you should bring a very specific type of food, your own chairs, mind their cats, watch out for ticks AND bring a gift? I would be dying to reply that I would come but can't afford to unless they pay me the money they owe me. I wouldn't really have the guts to do it but I'd want to!

 

[lizabu]

I think your being punked, in fact I'm sure of it!

I think it's got to be a joke too.

 

[disykat]

While I've been known to host potlucks, I see a grad party honoring your own child as a event where the host should provide ALL the food. In my book, if it's an occasion where a formal invitation is sent, the host should provide the food. Addionally, special diets and potlucks don't work.

I don't have a problem bringing chairs. We often do this at casual outdoor parties. Most people here have their own fold up chairs with carrying cases, often already in the trunk of their cars.

I could even live with the tick warning, though it was phrased very weirdly.

Multiple requests like this, plus a refusal to take care of their own cat, do make it seem like a joke.

 

[gillenkl]

this can't be for real.....it's hysterical! If it is real......I'd be skipping that party.

 

[MrsPete]

First, the wording's a bit high-falutin': Convene to honor the academic achievements? Dude, you finished high school. You didn't graduate from Brain Surgeon U. Who talks like that? Convene is a business word, not a social party word.

The only thing I don't have a problem with is the bring-your-own lawn chairs. Most people don't have 25-30 of these, so it's pretty common to ask guests to BYOC. Another option is to make it a drop-in thing so that you won't need all that sitting space at one time; a drop-in also lends itself to snacks rather than a meal.

Bringing your own food -- and being picky about it -- is another subject altogether. If someone asked, "What can I bring", it'd be fine to suggest that a bowl of potato salad or something else vegetarian would be appreciated, but the way this was worded just sounded rude.

I agree with you: You spend what you can afford, but you don't ask your guests to assume part of the party costs. A party can be done on a small budget. The cheapest-cheapest thing to do would be homemade soup (which could easily be vegan) and homemade bread, and people always love homemade soup. Though, admittedly, that's more of a winter thing than a summer graduation party meal.

And the cat. Why mention that a month and a half in advance? Plenty of times we go to church socials, and when we come into the house we're asked not to open a certain door because the dogs are locked up -- or we see a post-it note on a door reading "Fido is in here -- please don't let him join the party".

With all these rules, I suspect the "some food" they're going to put out will be enough. I can't imagine gobs of people rushing to this party.

One thing I've gotta know: With all this hub-bub about the party, did they tell you what to buy him for a graduation gift?

 

[MnMomtoboys]

I'm at a loss. The only thing that was ok with the email was asking for chairs. Around here that is quite normal. Its also normal to borrow items from friends(i.e kitchen equipment) but for them to ask you for food is over the top.

 

[cornflake]

That is just bizarre.

It's also like 4 different things.

It's an invitation to a party -

"Please join us as we convene to honour the academic achievements of XXXXXX following his graduation from XXXXX Senior High School
When: June 16th, 1pm
Where: XXXXXXX

Then it gets into weirdness.

"We'll be providing SOME food?' Will you now? If they can't provide food for the guests, then make it an actual potluck and say that straight up - like 'we'd love to kick off the summer and have everyone over and celebrate XXXXX's (weird name btw, how do you pronounce that?) graduation with a backyard potluck!

Asking people to bring chairs I don't even... I mean ok, you don't have chairs, though you have a lawn. Do you hae any neighbours? At all? Do they have lawns? Can you not just go borrow a few chairs each for the party?

The stuff with don't let the cat out, there are ticks in the yard... how do they think this goes on the invitation? To ANYTHING? The invitation is an invitation, not a list of house freaking rules.

"Bob and Sandra request your presence as they celebrate their anniversary on May 3rd, 2013. Please use the downstairs bathroom only; if the toilet clogs use the plunger by the litter tray. There's only orange juice for mixers and no rum, though we may buy some by then. Please RSVP to wearenuts@bananas.com[/B]."

 

[traviesojmt]

That is just bizarre.

"Bob and Sandra request your presence as they celebrate their anniversary on May 3rd, 2013. Please use the downstairs bathroom only; if the toilet clogs use the plunger by the litter tray. There's only orange juice for mixers and no rum, though we may buy some by then. Please RSVP to wearenuts@bananas.com[/B]."

Off topic, but I would like to personally thank you for making me laugh out loud today. Please be aware that you can now go to bed knowing that you have lifted the spirits of a stranger today and your good deed for today was done. Hilarious!!

 

[poohlover]

At the end of March, her son and my son were both on a team that won a state tournament, which leads to a much larger international competition in May.

Hey, Tink-aholic, the tournament wouldn't happen to be Odyssey of the Mind would it?

 

[angierae]

Oh, LORD. Where to start?

Around here, close family members often help by bringing food to a grad party. But I'd never ask friends or more distant family members to contribute! (Like, my sisters would bring something, or my MIL, or maybe even my aunt who I am close to. I certainly wouldn't put it on the invite, I just know that some family members would ask me if they could help.)

Chairs, I don't have a problem with that. In the summer we tend to keep three chairs in the trunk of our car for the various parties that happen, because not everyone has tons of chairs.

As for animals - we put signs on the doors to our house when we're having a party that ranges indoors and out warning people to be careful not to let the cats out, because we don't have anywhere to lock them up - DD's room is cat-free due to a slight allergy, and our bedroom is a finished attic and there's no door to the stairs that lead up there. But again, I wouldn't put this on the INVITE.

And if for some bizarre reason I *WAS* begging for food from people, I sure as heck wouldn't be PICKY about it!

 

[Arielle22]

DD18 is graduating this year. The party will be for my family and her friends. It will be a big BBQ. We ask only that they bring chairs and maybe a beverage.

We are not big alcohol drinkers so I buy basic soda and if anyone prefers something different they bring it.

I have a sister who is a gluten free vegan so she usually prefers to bring her own food. My other sister has to be sugar free so I buy special cookies for her.

I would be embarassed to send out the invite OP mentioned. I would never want people to think we couldn't afford the party.