Middle School Parents...

[RadioFanatic]

whatever happened to telling your kids what to take instead of negotiating, bribing, etc.? I wanted to take band, my parents said no so I didn't. I didn't want to take a typing course (although I appreciate it now), mom said you will, so I did. I wanted to take French in 8th grade, parents made we wait until 9th. As the kid, at no time did I try to control the situation like it sounds like kids now are doing.

 

[rigs32]

I was in the honors classes for academic subjects in high school - ten years ago. My close friends today are the ones who in addition to being in those core classes with me were also in German class. Ok, so I guess we were also in Marching Band together (an extracurricular at our school and none of us was in band class) and on the tennis team. I guess that defeats my point about German......

But we still talk about the puppet shows we had to create in German once we were in the "advanced" class past the college requirements stuff.

 

[can'twait]

I just want to give you a little warning about this game. It's not violent at all, but it is VERY time consuming. My DH plays this and it's starting to drive me crazy. There is nothing you can do in 20 minutes - it takes that long to walk across the world. If you are going to play you have to be prepared to spend at least 2 hours to achieve most things. It's hard to tell him, "turn it off now" because he is playing online in groups with real people. You can't just turn off your game, you'd kill your whole group.

So in short, be careful with that game.

I agree with this. My DH played World of Worldcraft in every free moment he had for a YEAR. Yes, that's right. He would get up on Saturday am and go straight to the pc and not move (except for potty breaks) until midnight. He was addicted! And I got the same thing - "I can't stop right now, I'm with other people". Ugh! He finally stopped recently, and I feel like he's rejoined the family again.

As for the OP, when I was in HS I really wanted to take Latin (Catholic school) but my stepmom insisted I take Spanish instead, I think because she thought it would be more useful. I was already taking French and I knew that Latin had roots of many words in both French and English and I thought it would be neat, and useful, in it's own way. I love history, even the history of words! Long story short - she got her way, I had a bad attitude and hated Spanish, and I STILL wish I had taken Latin. I'm 30 something. So, pick your battles.

 

[Sandy V.]

DH and I definitely have a "say" in our teens' class choices for math, science, English, social studies, and foreign language (you have to have 3 years of a foreign language for the University of Colorado, and we want them to keep that option open just in case).

As long as they complete these courses successfully and take any other ones that the high school requires (such as P.E.), then they can pretty much take whatever electives they want.

The only thing that I would caution is to start looking at the admission requirements for ANY potential college that your kid might want to apply to. Do this as early as 9th grade so that it can be scheduled in during their 4 years.

For example, the University of California system requires a full year of an "arts" course in addition to the basic math, science, etc. My kids don't do band, chorus, or drama, which are common ways to fill this. So we had to do some investigation on what constituted a course that would meet this requirement. Ceramics met this requirement, as did Stone Sculpture. Yearbook, on the other hand, did not. My kids may never go to a California state university, but I wouldn't want their choices precluded by the failure to take a class that they could have easily fit in if they had planned ahead.

Good luck. The fun is just beginning. My kids love high school.

 

[dixipixi]

I see you are from louisiana. From day one at my kid's High school the requirements for TOPS(free College tuition in LA) are explained and expected of every student. I can't imagine a kid nowadys not realizing the importance of a College diploma. [/QUOTE]


I sincerely hope no one thinks that I believe college is not important. The point of my post was that I think it is very important. It must have been very important to me because I managed to get my master's degree.

The point I was trying to make is just that it is very hard when you are trying your best to help a child get into college, but their HS really doesn't care if they go or not. I'm sure it's very easy to influence your children when everyone else around them is on the same page.

I agree with you about the TOPS situation. You're probably lucky enough that it is the case with your school. It's just not around here, though. My stepson will be eligible for TOPS if he follows the curriculum. It's just that our local HS seems to push kids toward the basic high school graduation criteria. That was all that I meant by my post. I did not mean for it to seem like I was condemning all of Louisiana. I don't think I even mentioned the state. I'm a product of Louisiana public schools and colleges. When I attended school, we were all encouraged to do our best and pursue a college degree (I went to a different school than the one my kids are enrolled in). What I had to say was intended toward our local school...not the state in general.

 

[Marseeya]

whatever happened to telling your kids what to take instead of negotiating, bribing, etc.? I wanted to take band, my parents said no so I didn't. I didn't want to take a typing course (although I appreciate it now), mom said you will, so I did. I wanted to take French in 8th grade, parents made we wait until 9th. As the kid, at no time did I try to control the situation like it sounds like kids now are doing.

Just sounds like your parents were controlling.

My parents didn't do that to me (I'm 38), and I don't know one friend whose parents did that.

Why shouldn't kids start to take control of their own lives by the time they get to high school??? It's their future, and their destiny they're facing.

 

[CajunDixie]

I looked it over and noticed no band! After arguing about the importance of band

What happens if he takes band, hates it and does badly? What happens if the game you bribed him with takes more time than you want him to use on a game? Will you say sorry only X hours of the game allowed each week? Will he see this as you not keeping your side of the agreement and not work as hard in band? Band can be very time consuming, which could leave only a short amount of time for homework, which means even less time for the game you promised him.

If you go with the bribe then you need to be ready to deal with the outcome. Maybe discuss with him now any time limits on the game and any discipline for bad grades in the class.

I can't imagine my parents making me take a class they loved and I didn't even like. What's the point......I'm not the exact same as them. We're all individuals!

 

[Sandy V.]

Why shouldn't kids start to take control of their own lives by the time they get to high school??? It's their future, and their destiny they're facing.

I would agree with you regarding the OP's child regarding band, but quite frankly, a 13-14 year old needs a little more direction regarding what core academics to take. In my opinion, many middle schoolers would lack the foresight and maturity to do any long-range planning regarding their core classes (math, science, English, social studies, foreign language). At least mine did!!!

Electives . . . they can take whatever they want, provided they meet the graduation requirements.

 

[darrose]

Make sure you are sure about making him take band next year because someones once you sign up its hard to drop it. Last year, my son signed out for
this falls band, changed his mind in May (original sign up was Jan too, I think) so I had to fill out a special blue card which stated that for the 2005-2006 school year my son was not going to participate in band.

Well, school starts and son comes home upset because the school has him scheduled for the school band and trumpet lessons. Luckily, I was able to call the school and remind them about the previous blue card that I had signed in May and they gave me a new set of papers to read and card to sign before they would let him drop band. I am not sure they would have let him drop band until after he finished up this year if we hadnt had that May blue card stuck somewhere in his file.

 

[Marseeya]

I would agree with you regarding the OP's child regarding band, but quite frankly, a 13-14 year old needs a little more direction regarding what core academics to take. In my opinion, many middle schoolers would lack the foresight and maturity to do any long-range planning regarding their core classes (math, science, English, social studies, foreign language). At least mine did!!!

Electives . . . they can take whatever they want, provided they meet the graduation requirements.

I agree with "direction," but what about outright force (which is what I was responding to)? I would not have forced my son, nor will I force my DD into taking something they don't want, even if I think it's best for them. Not at that age.

 

[NMAmy]

I would agree with you regarding the OP's child regarding band, but quite frankly, a 13-14 year old needs a little more direction regarding what core academics to take. In my opinion, many middle schoolers would lack the foresight and maturity to do any long-range planning regarding their core classes (math, science, English, social studies, foreign language). At least mine did!!!

Electives . . . they can take whatever they want, provided they meet the graduation requirements.

I'm just curious--your kids pick their core classes? In dd's school (and back in the olden days when I was in school), you were simply assigned to the core classes--no choice was involved except in the case of foreign languages.

 

[Sandy V.]

I'm just curious--your kids pick their core classes? In dd's school (and back in the olden days when I was in school), you were simply assigned to the core classes--no choice was involved except in the case of foreign languages.

Yes, they did pick their core classes. But their high school is large (1900 students) and the course catalog is almost as large as my college one was! So they have a lot of options to choose from, particularly once they complete the 9th grade.

 

[NMAmy]

Yes, they did pick their core classes. But their high school is large (1900 students) and the course catalog is almost as large as my college one was! So they have a lot of options to choose from, particularly once they complete the 9th grade.

Thanks, Sandy. I was just curious. I'm sure I never would have been able to talk dd into algebra if she'd had a choice.

 

[buddy&wooz]

I haven't always been thrilled with my son's HS classes, in fact two of his electives were complete wastes of time (Computer Apps where they learned how to write a simple paper in MS Word - he'd been doing that since 6th grade- and a Web/Flash class where the teacher had no experience and the school didn't even purchase the software until the semester was nearly over .)

But he did choose appropriate academic core classes so I guess I didn't get too worked up about the electives.

 

[Sandy V.]

Thanks, Sandy. I was just curious. I'm sure I never would have been able to talk dd into algebra if she'd had a choice.

Yeah, there is a downside to having options as well. You have to keep holding your ground on the big stuff, so you have some room to slide on the small things if need be.