Mending a broken heart?

[DisneyJules]

I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half a couple of days ago. It's been SO tough. It was my first serious relationship and I'm just having such a hard time moving on. I haven't been through anything this tough in a long time. We were just incompatible in some areas, parts of our relationship were truly wonderful but that parts that weren't so wonderful just couldn't be changed. I think I just need some advice. I'm really grateful I have a lot of wonderful family who really care about me, yet I still feel so alone.

 

[MichelleVW]

Just hang in there, it will get better. Broken hearts suck and honestly do hurt. It will get better, just give it time.

 

[Pomlover2586]

Broken hearts suck.....I say indulge yourself for a while.....rent some comedies, eat that extra cookie [or a pint of Ben and Jerry's lol] Get in some girl time at the mall with friends and treat yourself to that pair of shoes you've been admiring!

Bottom line....it WILL get better and you WILL find someone worth loving. Just stay busy and don't wallow [too much]

 

[MichelleVW]

Broken hearts suck.....I say indulge yourself for a while.....rent some comedies, eat that extra cookie [or a pint of Ben and Jerry's lol] Get in some girl time at the mall with friends and treat yourself to that pair of shoes you've been admiring!

Bottom line....it WILL get better and you WILL find someone worth loving. Just stay busy and don't wallow [too much]

My favorite "stress" movies are The American President and Forrest Gump!

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

Hang in there. Allow yourself to feel your negative emotions, they won't last forever and you have to go through them to get to the other side. Be gentle with yourself and hold on to hope for the future. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[CathrynRose]

I have to tell you, as devastated after I've been following a couple relationships, I would never in a million years go back to them and have ALWAYS come out better in the end.

Doesnt feel like it now, though. Sorry.

Go get some ice cream and a good "crying" movie.

 

[mom2travel]

I know it's tough, even if it is the best decision for you. My friends and I used to share this poem when anyone was feeling a bit broken-hearted after a relationship ended. In case it helps, here it is...

Comes The Dawn
Author: Veronica A. Shoffstall
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.​

 

[Hessie628]

I'm so sorry!!!!!!! Hang in there! I'll say it too- It takes time. Some people get over break ups quickly- others do not. My friend is going through this as well. I tell her to heal how she needs to (as long as it isn't detrimental to herself or others). If you feel the need to cry, then cry. Scream, then scream. Eat junk food or watch a movie- go for it. Most of us have been through break-ups so most of us understand and probably have had similar emotions. So remember you are not alone- even a stranger like me "understands" what you are going through and am sending you positive thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Jessica

 

[rie'smom]

Your relationship lasted for 1.5 years, expect to grieve for some time.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

A great book for this and many situations is How to Survive the Loss of a Love.

Editted to add, here is a link to the content of the book. Content

 

[minkydog]

Aw, honey This is the time to be kind to yourself. If you're in a crying kinda mood, may I suggest "The Notebook" or "Gone With The Wind." If you need to laugh I suggest "America's Funniest Videos" or any of Tyler Perry's "Madea" movies. As bad as it hurts, you will come out on the other side sooner or later.Keep your heart soft. You will love and be loved again.

 

[DisneyJules]

Thanks guys, it means so much for complete strangers to be so caring. I know most people on this earth at one time or another goes through this and that it's never easy. We just talked for an hour and a half, it felt really good and brought both of us some closure. I think we're both wonderful people and if we could eliminate a few problems we were having we would have a great relationship but they're things that just can't be resolved and they've come up man times now. So we both know it's for the best. But it was really good to be completely honest and talk everything through.

 

[OK!]

I'm so sorry. I just went through this on the 4th of July, so I know how you feel. The thing that helped me get through it (though it's still ongoing) is just allowing myself to wallow a little bit. I kept feeling like a wimp for not just pulling myself up by my bootstraps and moving on, but GEEZ, that's hard. I cried when I needed to and yelled a little when I needed to, and it's getting easier.

Sometimes (for me, anyway), it also helps to write a journal about what you're feeling, especially if you don't have a good sounding board nearby. You may end up throwing it away once you feel better, but it can be awfully cathartic to just SPILL everything, KWIM?

It will get better, though it probably doesn't feel like it right now. Vent all you want to us here!

 

[LKHomemail]

a year and a half ago ? for sure, you need to go to disney. if disney does not help you, go to paris . if no relief, go to islands - take lots of sun, water and rum punch. meet LOTS of eligible potentials and don't get stuck on any one . sersiously, do not look at this as a loss / needs grief. look at this situation as you ruled out a candidate that wasn't right. unfortunate that it took a year and a half to figure out that the person wasn't a right fit. but better late than never. this bad relationship was taking up your time / energy and was standing in your way of finding a great candidate that is a right fit . look at the positive in this , the obstacle in finding your happiness has been removed . move on / feel better and enjoy all the great stuff and people there are in life. take care.

serious about keeping busy / meeting people and traveling / doing fun stuff.