Men are such fools.

[jemgumby]

I don't have a daughter, but if I did, I wouldn't think it was any of my business who she dated at 28 years old. But if she were just looking for a "sugar daddy" it would make me sad that the upbringing she got from me didn't lead her to aspire to better choices.



Congratulations! You may think your sexual choices are the same ones every decent woman should make, but most don't. Many people get together in the first place because they find each other physically attractive. That's actually very normal in most worlds. When I first met my husband (at the age of 26), I was very physically attracted to him, and I know he felt the same way about me. Over time, we grew close in every other way, and here we are 21 years later, very happily married.



No, I think you're immature because you're carrying on about older men being attracted to younger women as if it's something outrageously abnormal. I also think it's ignorant to rave on and on about being a virgin when you got married at 21 on a Disney message board.



See, here's your problem. You're the one who can't think outside of her own little world. You seem to think that men and women should only get together if they're the same age and have more than a physical attraction when they first meet.

Oh, and I guess you think that a person should only have one sexual partner in her/his entire life? Sorry, but I don't want that for my son, and if I had a daughter, I'd feel the same way. I don't believe that two people should wait to get married before they figure out whether they're sexually compatible. I believe that a couple should figure out such an important aspect of married life before they even get engaged.

Sadly the majority of people feel like you and that is why 3 out of 4 marriages end in divorce and we have teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc. You are entitled to your own belief system but so am I. BTW I was not raving on about being a virgin when I married. If you want me to rave on about it I will gladly do so as I am dern proud of it!!!! This whole thread was started because the OP was upset that she knows a man who is dating a woman who is the same age as his children. Like I said I have a hard time believing that man would be drawn to the younger woman because of her intellect or sparkling personality. It is simply physical....So your right most people do think it is normal for older men to be physically attracted to younger women but I think it is gross. I say gross as in the example of the OP's story. Oh and FYI I remember a thread a while back that someone started where they asked if anyone was a virgin when they married? Did you feel that was inappropriate?

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Ya know what? I really don't like that sweater you're wearing.




Wait, what's that? I can't see it so how would I know if I liked it or not?

Ahhh... funny how that works. I know nothing about what you're wearing, just as you know nothing about two people who are dating. So for either of us to pass judgment is really kinda silly.

(I still don't see how your virginity is relevant, but if it makes you happy to flaunt it then knock yourself out.)

 

[jemgumby]

Ya know what? I really don't like that sweater you're wearing.




Wait, what's that? I can't see it so how would I know if I liked it or not?

Ahhh... funny how that works. I know nothing about what you're wearing, just as you know nothing about two people who are dating. So for either of us to pass judgment is really kinda silly.
I
(I still don't see how your virginity is relevant, but if it makes you happy to flaunt it then knock yourself out.)

Okay so we will agree to disagree. Again the reason I brought up my being a virgin when I married was so other posters could see that I do believe that not all relationships are based on sex. I was getting flack because I pretty much said that the only reason I can see that a 45 year old man would be attracted to a 25 year old was purely a physical/sexual attraction. Do I think that ALL cases of relationships where there is an age difference is just cause it is sexual no. However, sadly I have seen many men throw away a wonderful life they had with the "wife of their youth" and get with a lady half their age. I have a very difficult time believing it isn't a physical/sexual thing and a bit of a mid life crisis too.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

But that still makes no sense. I'm guessing you didn't have sex with the "dirty old men" who hit on you. But in your opinion they were lusting after you anyway.

Not having sex doesn't mean that the relationship isn't based on a physical attraction.

I think Ryan Reynolds is pretty freaking hot, but I'm not having sex with him. So your virginity really has no bearing on this conversation. We don't know that the man and woman referred to in the OP are having sex. Maybe she believes as you do that she should save that for marriage.

 

[BelleWDW]

If they're in love with each other or just enjoy each other or whatever... I see nothing "ew" about it.

And ya know what... I don't believe the story you posted either.

Then why do you have something like 17 posts on this thread?

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Because the title of your thread is "men are such fools" and it's highly offensive. Whether or not the story is true doesn't change that. As someone who is related to and friends with plenty of males, I will beat down the stereotypes and labeling any chance I get.

 

[BelleWDW]

As someone who is related to and friends with plenty of males, I will beat down the stereotypes and labeling any chance I get.

It was my very male husband who first informed me of his client's girlfriend....and it was he(and his co-workers-all attractive , happily married men) who thought the man looked foolish with such a young girlfriend.

I'm just repeating the story here

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Sadly the majority of people feel like you and that is why 3 out of 4 marriages end in divorce and we have teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.

Riiiiiiiight.

I'd love to know what led you to that conclusion. Pretty big leap, I'd say.

ETA: Last I read, it's ~ 50% of marriages that end in divorce.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

It was my very male husband who first informed me of his client's girlfriend....and it was he(and his co-workers-all attractive , happily married men) who thought the man looked foolish with such a young girlfriend.

I'm just repeating the story here

He may have looked foolish. I wasn't there, I don't know. But it certainly isn't appropriate to post a thread with the title "Men are such fools." Yikes.

 

[jemgumby]

But that still makes no sense. I'm guessing you didn't have sex with the "dirty old men" who hit on you. But in your opinion they were lusting after you anyway.

Not having sex doesn't mean that the relationship isn't based on a physical attraction.

I think Ryan Reynolds is pretty freaking hot, but I'm not having sex with him. So your virginity really has no bearing on this conversation. We don't know that the man and woman referred to in the OP are having sex. Maybe she believes as you do that she should save that for marriage.

I didn't say that they were having sex I am saying that I have a difficult time believing that the 45 year old man isn't lusting after the 25 year old and that is what started it. Like I said I don't think it was her personality. In reality isn't physical attraction what starts most relationships? Why is it so hard to admit that the older men who go for the younger women do so because they are physically attracted to them? Being physically attracted to someone leads to sexual feelings, thoughts, etc. Oh and I think it's great you try to debunk sexual stereotypes and I hope you fight as passionately for when people stereotype women. I hate gender roles but that is a whole other discussion!!!!

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

It was my very male husband who first informed me of his client's girlfriend....and it was he(and his co-workers-all attractive , happily married men) who thought the man looked foolish with such a young girlfriend.

I'm just repeating the story here

I'm very happy that your husband works with attractive men... not sure why that matters. Would their opinions count less if they were homely? But regardless, such judgment tends to take away from attractiveness, in both men AND women.

Maybe the foolish old man should stop spending his hard-earned money on parties for his gossipy employees and their spouses/significant others.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I didn't say that they were having sex I am saying that I have a difficult time believing that the 45 year old man isn't lusting after the 25 year old and that is what started it. Like I said I don't think it was her personality. In reality isn't physical attraction what starts most relationships? Why is it so hard to admit that the older men who go for the younger women do so because they are physically attracted to them? Being physically attracted to someone leads to sexual feelings, thoughts, etc. Oh and I think it's great you try to debunk sexual stereotypes and I hope you fight as passionately for when people stereotype women. I hate gender roles but that is a whole other discussion!!!!

Thanks for proving my point:
1. A relationship between a 25-yr-old and a 65-yr-old is no different from a relationship between two 25-yr-olds
2. Your virginity had no bearing on this conversation

Have a nice night.

 

[BelleWDW]

I'm very happy that your husband works with attractive men... not sure why that matters. Would their opinions count less if they were homely?



I put that in because they are not jealous of this man-they are happy with their lives/wives


Maybe the foolish old man should stop spending his hard-earned money on parties for his gossipy employees and their spouses/significant others.

Dh and the men who first told DH about this mans very young girlfriend ARE NOT HIS EMPLOYEES....they are business associates.

They travel in the same circles and I found it interesting that men also think the rich man looks foolish.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Sadly the majority of people feel like you and that is why 3 out of 4 marriages end in divorce and we have teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc. You are entitled to your own belief system but so am I. BTW I was not raving on about being a virgin when I married. If you want me to rave on about it I will gladly do so as I am dern proud of it!!!!

Well, we do know that you are "dern" proud of your virginity. You keep bringing it up. I would bet any amount of money that I've been married a lot longer than you. I was never pregnant when I was a teen. I never got a sexily transmitted disease. I was in a few different physical relationships with males I believed I loved at the time. By the time I met my husband, I was experienced enough in life to have a very good idea of what I wanted in a life mate.

This whole thread was started because the OP was upset that she knows a man who is dating a woman who is the same age as his children. Like I said I have a hard time believing that man would be drawn to the younger woman because of her intellect or sparkling personality. It is simply physical....So your right most people do think it is normal for older men to be physically attracted to younger women but I think it is gross. I say gross as in the example of the OP's story.

I say we don't have enough information about the couple in the OP to know that the man is drawn to the younger woman for only physical reasons. Perhaps he is the kind of man who likes his partner to look up to him. Perhaps he likes his partner to act dependent on him. And you can reverse my statements the other way. There are an infinite number of reasons why this couple may be together, and without knowing either of them, you and I have no way of knowing what their reasons are for being together.

Oh and FYI I remember a thread a while back that someone started where they asked if anyone was a virgin when they married? Did you feel that was inappropriate?

Sorry, I never saw such a thread and I never posted on one either, but FTR, from what you describe, it does sound inappropriate for this forum.

I didn't say that they were having sex I am saying that I have a difficult time believing that the 45 year old man isn't lusting after the 25 year old and that is what started it. Like I said I don't think it was her personality.

You have the numbers wrong. I believe the OP stated the man is 55 and the woman is 28. In any event, the OP also stated that the man went through a bad divorce a few years ago. It sounds like he was unattached when he met the young lady, so I wouldn't call it a midlife crisis.

Why is it so hard to admit that the older men who go for the younger women do so because they are physically attracted to them?

I gladly admit that older men go for younger women often because they are attracted to them, but it isn't fair to say that all men do, and that's my argument on this thread. There is a lot we don't know and to call the relationship "gross" or "ewww" is wrong.

 

[jemgumby]

Thanks for proving my point:
1. A relationship between a 25-yr-old and a 65-yr-old is no different from a relationship between two 25-yr-olds
2. Your virginity had no bearing on this conversation

Have a nice night.

Again we will agree to disagree. Why does my posting about my virginity bother you so much? I've already explained why and will not explain again. Maybe you've got some baggage.....

You have a nice night as well!

 

[jemgumby]

Well, we do know that you are "dern" proud of your virginity. You keep bringing it up. I would bet any amount of money that I've been married a lot longer than you. I was never pregnant when I was a teen. I never got a sexily transmitted disease. I was in a few different physical relationships with males I believed I loved at the time. By the time I met my husband, I was experienced enough in life to have a very good idea of what I wanted in a life mate.



I say we don't have enough information about the couple in the OP to know that the man is drawn to the younger woman for only physical reasons. Perhaps he is the kind of man who likes his partner to look up to him. Perhaps he likes his partner to act dependent on him. And you can reverse my statements the other way. There are an infinite number of reasons why this couple may be together, and without knowing either of them, you and I have no way of knowing what their reasons are for being together.



Sorry, I never saw such a thread and I never posted on one either, but FTR, from what you describe, it does sound inappropriate for this forum.



You have the numbers wrong. I believe the OP stated the man is 55 and the woman is 28. In any event, the OP also stated that the man went through a bad divorce a few years ago. It sounds like he was unattached when he met the young lady, so I wouldn't call it a midlife crisis.



I gladly admit that older men go for younger women often because they are attracted to them, but it isn't fair to say that all men do, and that's my argument on this thread. There is a lot we don't know and to call the relationship "gross" or "ewww" is wrong.

I really don't care how long you have been married. I didn't say YOU were pregnant as a teen or had a sexually transmitted disease. I said it is because of people thinking like you that we have these problems. Your right I did have the numbers wrong he was 55 and she was 28, which again I can say "eeewww" if I want to. If you go back and read the threads alot have said the same thing.

 

[ratherbeatdisney]

most men will try and get the youngest hottest female he can get, and most women want the most successful guy they can get. its called life. Get over it. The only people who ever complain about it are the guys that dont have any cash or success, or women who are not so good looking. IM sorry that life works this way, but it does. The animal kingdom works this way too, we were built this way. And just because the girl might have been initially involved with him because he has money, DOESNT mean that they cant find true love still.

 

[jemgumby]

I wouldn't say he's a fool unless he thought she was with him for love.

But I do think it's gross. I'm sorry, but if you were 27 when I was born, no thanks. Reminds me of the 60-70yr old man who cat called me and said "nice legs" the other day. I'm 20.

Yep ladycollector thought it was gross too! I am not the only one. We are all entitled to our opinion.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

I really don't care how long you have been married. I didn't say YOU were pregnant as a teen or had a sexually transmitted disease.I said it is because of people thinking like you that we have these problems.

And I would like to ask again, respectfully, what led you to this conclusion.

 

[jemgumby]

most men will try and get the youngest hottest female he can get, and most women want the most successful guy they can get. its called life. Get over it. The only people who ever complain about it are the guys that dont have any cash or success, or women who are not so good looking. IM sorry that life works this way, but it does. The animal kingdom works this way too, we were built this way. And just because the girl might have been initially involved with him because he has money, DOESNT mean that they cant find true love still.

I know that is the way things are and I still don't think it is right. The only people who ever complain about it are the guys that dont have any cash or success, or women who are not so good lookingI I think your statement was pretty ignorant. Talk about stereotyping!!! I've seen plenty of good looking guys complaining that all women are interested in are money, etc. I've seen attractive women talking about what guys only care about are looks. No I believe we were not "built" like animals. I was not attracted to my husband just because of his money, job, success or strictly his looks. I was attracted to him because the more I got to know him the more I really saw what a wonderful person he was. I LOVE his qualities and that what makes me LOVE HIM. I am ALSO VERY ATTRACTED TO HIM TOO. I don't believe a relationship that is based solely on such superficial things such as solely sexual attraction, looks, money, etc. will endure. Looks fade, money runs out, jobs end, etc.